2007 Fantasy Football theRUNDOWN Week 16

This Week’s Top Team: Championship Week – I feel inclined to do it up!

QB: Donovan McNabb vs. New Orleans: Just like last week, the Saints are still really brutal, and I expect Donovan to have his way with their secondary. I’m not sure what the distant future holds for McNabb, but this weekend shows promise.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Denver: denver is a terrible run defense, one of the bottom 3 in the NFL. LT is the best running back in the league. I’m not sure what his carries will look like, but I still think he’s a great start on Sunday.

RB: Earnest Graham vs. San Francisco: HE may not be a big name, but he’s a big time player, and the Bucs have been riding his hard running all the way to the playoffs. They’ll do it again on Sunday.

WR: Braylon Edwards vs. Cincinnati: I don’t see the Bengals doing much guarding of Braylon. He’s too fast and physical for them, and he’s proven to have that secondary’s number. Look for him to have a big game.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Miami: One more time, I’m going with the big receiver in New England. Brady’s close enough to the touchdown title that he might just make a run at it. Who’s his best option to get that done with? You bet.

TE: Jason Witten vs. Carolina: The Cowboys have to climb back with a good game here, don’t they? Witten is a go to guy for Romo, he’ll find him early and often.

K: David Akers vs. New Orleans: Good kicker, bad defense, in-doors. I like Akers’ chances this weekend, even though I’m terrible at picking kickers this year.

D: Jaguars vs. Oakland: Oakland is mistake prone and Jacksonville is very good. The Jaguar offense is very good at staying on the field which gives their defense ample time to rest. Good play here.


Sage Rosenfels: The Colts look like they’ve packed it in for the Playoffs, and Sage can put up good numbers in that offense, I might even start this guy in my fantasy championship.

Ron Dayne: What I said about Sage, but Dayne isn’t the biggest threat out there. But I have to give him his credit, he’s been solid when given the ball.

Frank Gore: Against the Bengals, I think Gore will get over the 100 yard plateau. He’s a very good back, he’s tough, and the Bengals don’t tackle well. Tough start for the young 49er, but he’ll be solid in this one.

Brandon Jacobs: When will the Giants realize that they need to give this kid the ball more? Jacobs is a beast, and all he does is succeed when given a high number of carries. Less Eli, more Brandon. Comprende?

Calvin Johnson: CJ is a physical freak of nature and he’s getting the majority of balls in Detroit’s offense. You have to like his chances against a Chiefs team that hasn’t been playing good football of late.

Roddy White: I expect a big bounce back game for Roddy.

Tony Scheffler: If you’ve paid attention, I like this kid a lot. I know he goes up against Denver, but there’s room in the middle of that secondary – Tony might just find it. s

Deion Branch: If running the ball isn’t going to work against the Panthers (last week) it definitely won’t work on Sunday. However, the Ravens secondary has been sketchy for a while now, and Branch could get his passes this week.

Buccaneers: I have to take the Bucs again, they had a big week against a terrible team last week, why not again against yet another horror of an NFL football team?

LUCKY’S Week 16 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Eli Manning: Ain’t nothing like watching Eli’s “Gummo” face watch his receivers drop passes – hilarious.

Clinton Portis: Welcome to Minnesota’s defensive line, the place where stud running backs come to die.

Lee Evans: The Giants do have a good pass rush, so don’t expect any deep routes from Evans on Sunday – that pretty much eliminates his whole game.

Donte Stallworth: I imagine the Patriots will show the Dolphins how much Wes Welker is worth on Sunday. That means less looks for Stallworth.

2007 Fantasy Football theRUNDOWN Week 15

This Week’s Top Team: The search for 140…. I was sooo close last week, and AP pulled a 0… Lets see if I can’t get it done.

QB: Kurt Warner vs. New Orleans: How about the idea that the Saints would be the worst rated defense in the league if they didn’t play 6 games against Atlanta, Tampa Bay, and Carolina – you bet. The saints give up points like they’re free, and Kurt will dominate the world on Sunday.

RB: Joseph Addai vs. Oakland: Oakland’s offensive line is terrible and you can bet Addai will get the rock plenty with Indy being careful for the playoffs. I don’t know how many looks he’ll get in the 2nd half, as I imagine this game won’t be too close for too long, but I’d imagine 3 quarters of work will be just what I was looking for in terms of fantasy production.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Detroit: I have to ride LT’s hot streak out. He’s the best player in the league, and he’s trying to get his team going into the playoffs. This is a closer for them, and Detroit hasn’t been stellar at stopping anyone lately.

WR: Terrell Owens vs. Philadelphia: I know the Eagles will be hell bent on doing up TO after Owens torched them for a billion yards last time these two met up, but I just don’t think you can stop TO when he’s focused, and with all the Keyshawn talk, the Bill Parcells chatter, and the fact that he’s playing Philly this week – huge stuff, son.

WR: Greg Jennings vs. St. Louis: Jennings is in a tough situation with a platoon, Brett throw to everyone, scheme – but I like his chances against a mediocre Rams secondary in a game that the Packers really want to win. Jennings is tough, and knows how to make touchdowns happen.

TE: Antonio Gates vs. Tennessee: I have to love Gates against he Lions, even with Phillip powder-puffing him the ball. He’s always open this guy, even with a strained groin.

K: Phil Dawson vs. Buffalo: He’ll have a bad day, because I picked him, but the question is, can I jinx the Browns into a home loss to the Bills?

D: Vikings vs. Chicago: The Bears have gotten worse and worse against the run, and they play the best rushing team in the NFL this Monday Night. Chicago just lost two more defensive lineman to the IR, but their offense is even more questionable. They can’t really run, and now Kyle Orton is under center – the 3rd option in Chicago for God’s sake. What does that tell you?


Trent Edwards: Trent is accurate, the Browns secondary is wide open – this should be a second great fantasy week in a row for the young Buffalo Bill.

Kenton Keith: This pick is expecting that the Colts tear down the Raiders pretty easily. If that is the case, Keith will get 12-18 carries, and that means big yardage against a very bad Raiders defensive front.

Frank Gore: Against the Bengals, I think Gore will get over the 100 yard plateau. He’s a very good back, he’s tough, and the Bengals don’t tackle well. Tough start for the young 49er, but he’ll be solid in this one.

Shaunna Alexander: I hate to do it, but I’m actually expecting a decent day out of the former touchdown machine. 80 yards and a touchdown, is that asking too much? We’ll see.

Lee Evans: I’ve always thought the world of this kid, the Bills will have to put the ball in the end zone to stick with the Browns, and Cleveland’s secondary plays like they’re in the pro-bowl every week – I like this match-up.

Roddy White: If someone’s collecting catches, yards, and touchdowns in a blowout of the Falcons, it will be White. If someone is responsible for getting the Falcons a win, it will be this talented receiver. Good sleeper this week.

Tony Scheffler: I just really like this kid in Denver – he could have a big game against the Texans on Thursday.

Anthony Gonzalez: I’m sure the Colt is a popular pick this week after having a big day last week – but the key is, even when Peyton and the rest of the big names go out, Gonzo will still get his work. I like that, and I think he’ll have another nice day.

Buccaneers: The Falcons put up big points last week against New Orleans, but the Saints are terrible defensively. This disciplined Buc secondary will give the Falcons problems.

LUCKY’S Week 15 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Eli Manning: He’s still bad.

Samkon Gado: He may be starting for the Dolphins, but the Ravens are going to eat him alive.

Laveranues Coles: Not this week, not against this motivated Patriots team.

Todd Heap: He’s going to play! I don’t buy that for a minute. Maybe for 1 quarter until he gets hurt. I wouldn’t start him with my playoff life on the line.

2007 Fantasy Football theRUNDOWN Week 14

This Week’s Top Team: The search for 140…. If this were a PPR format – that would be easy breezy!

QB: Tony Romo vs. Detroit: Romo against the Lions secondary – boy, I love that lineup so much I’m scared to use it. Oh well, I had a piece of pie, and I’m not scared anymore – this seems too good to be true. 300+ and 3 TDs… Anyone?

RB: Adrian Peterson vs. San Francisco: A great line and a relatively small defensive run stopping unit that hasn’t succeeded in anything except stopping their own pathetic offense in practice during scrimmages all year long. (Exhale) Peterson is a beast – and even with 15-20 carries, you’d think he’ll put up 130+ and a TD or two.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Tennessee: I don’t care who he’s playing, I’d probably take him against the armies of hell and Mordor combined into one wretched pack of homely beasts. I think the Titans will feel a little ego bruising after LT is done with them.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Pittsburgh: I’ll ride Randy’s low point, and expect a big week from the super-talented wide receiver this week in Pittsburgh. It doesn’t hurt that I think the Pats will put it on the Steel Show.

WR: Reggie Wayne vs. Baltimore: The Ravens were solid in shutting down Randy Moss last week, but Reggie is all Peyton has, and I think the Ravens will bow out early against the Colts – they have to be questioning themselves, their coaches, and of course life in general after last week’s last second loss.

TE: Antonio Gates vs. Tennessee: Gates had 1 catch for -1 yard last week – not really the stats you’d like to have from the solid pass catching tight end. This week, the Titans will do their damnedest to stop LT, and Gates should find a few open holes to take advantage of less defensive coverage.

K: Nick Folk vs. Detroit: I think Folk could have a big week – but I’m always wrong. So, just in case, I’m hoping my back kicker luck could wear on the Cowboys and maybe give the Lions a much needed upset – mainly so TO will start another week for my fantasy playoffs. So what? I have an ulterior motive here – big whoop.

D: Jaguars vs. Carolina: Carolina stinks – they should get hammered by the Jags – a shutout possibly? I sure hope so.


Marc Bulger: I like Bulger against the Bengals almost as much as I like Palmer against the Rams – and Bulger is a much bigger sleeper at this point.

Earnest Graham: I’ll ride this kid’s bandwagon once again -hell, I’ll drive the damn thing. Graham has been all kinds of great, and though he may not be much of a sleeper – there’s still leagues in which he’s a free agent – that’s just plain stupid.

Ryan Grant: This one is pretty easy – he’s a beast and he’s rolling up against the Raiders – aka – have your best game of the season, a coke, and a smile.

Maurice Jones Drew: I’m feeling a day full of magic from this mighty little fellow – and I say little lightly – lets be honest, 5’8″ and 215 pounds isn’t small by any means. That’s a huge short guy.

Sydney Rice: Much will be focused on the Vikings run game against the 49ers, and while they still won’t be able to stop it, Rice will get his chance to get deep on a few play action options.

Roddy White: He shouldn’t be a sleeper, but I just picked him up last week – and that’s absurd. Against the Saints, he’s got to be a top 20 option this week.

Vernon Davis: The Niners won’t be able to run, and they’ll have to pass to keep in this game – Davis is their best option. I’m not crazy about this pick, but he’s an option.

Mercedes Lewis: The only pass catching tight end option in Jacksonville, and he has an accurate and safe passer throwing the ball. That’s a good combination for a tight end that is probably on your waiver wire. Add that to his size and hands – you have to like this play.

Buccaneers: The Texans can put up points, but the Bucs have been good at shutting squads down all year long. I like Tampa’s chances against a Sage Rosenfell and Ron Dayne led offense. (I guess Andrew Johnson is the real leader, but he’s a WR, they don’t count)

LUCKY’S Week 14 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Eli Manning: Because he’s brutal.

Joseph Addai: The Ravens should stop him just like they’ve stopped every other running back. I sure like Addai though, and I know I can’t sit him – it’s just that I don’t think he’ll be good this week.

Justin Fargas: This young back has been dynamite since getting the starting gig, but I don’t see the Packers letting him run around much on Sunday.

Javon Walker: I like the Chiefs’ defense, and Walker has been slow to return from injuries. He’s still a week or two off, and the Broncos are still trying to figure their lives out.

2007 Fantasy Football theRUNDOWN Week 13

This Week’s Top Team: And 140 is… here?

QB: Tom Brady vs. Baltimore: Teams can’t run against Baltimore, but passing has come very easily. This should be one of those “pile it on” games, which Tom likes to throw 4 or 5 touchdowns in. Needless to say, I like my chances with this year’s fantasy hero.

RB: Brian Westbrook vs. Seattle: Westy is too good for the Hawks. He’s too fast, he’s too shifty, and he’s too versatile to take out of an offense. Running backs with elite speed that run hard seem to give the Hawks trouble, and Seattle’s run-stuffing defensive line isn’t the strength of their team

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. KC: If the Chargers are going to win this game, they’ll need to pass the ball – but that doesn’t eliminate LT. He can catch the rock just fine, and he will this week. Norv Turner wants to lead this team to a playoff win, but he has to get them there first. I know if I needed a win, and had LT, the ball would be in his hands 30 times or more.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Philadelphia: A bad week last week, blowing up this week. Baltimore can’t guard this guy – and they had to see that doubling him just leaves everyone else open for business. This week, Randy and Tom hook up in the zone again.

WR: Reggie Wayne vs. Jacksonville: The Colts will need to put up points, and the Jaguars haven’t been known for their stellar secondary play. With Marv out, Reggie is definitely the man. He’ll get his fair share of looks on Sunday, and that means a TD catch or two.

TE: Kellen Winslow vs. Arizona: I like KWII to have a very good week against the Cardinals. Arizona’s best safety is out for the season, leaving a hole just for Kellen to take advantage of.

K: Adam Vinitieri vs. Jacksonville: I just pick a kicker and that seems to make them have a bad week. So now, I’m picking kickers of teams I want to lose – it worked last week, here goes nothing. A Jaguar win in Indy would be nice, and it’d tie things up in the South.

D: New England vs. Baltimore: I get big points for shutouts, and I think there’s a solid chance the Patriots could get one of those in Baltimore.


Kellen Clemens: Against the Dolphins, Kellen has a good shot to make up for the terrible week he had against Dallas on Thanks Giving.

Earnest Graham: I like Earnest as a sleeper every single week – he doesn’t get near the credit he deserves. Same goes for this week, especially against a Saints team that doesn’t tackle very well. TB will want to keep Brees and company off the field, so Earnest will become a major factor.

Jesse Chatman: Jesse is said to be healthy which means YHATZEE! Against the Jets. New York hasn’t stopped the run worth beans all season long, and Miami has a physical rushing attack that could mean big yards for Jesse.

Thomas Jones: Jones goes up against Miami, and it’s time for him to start going off. He’s had a slow season, has been a major disappointment, but the Jets have to take advantage of a bad Dolphins run defense.

Donte Stallworth: He didn’t do much this week, but I think he could go off against the Ravens. Tom doesn’t look to him first or even second, but the Ravens have to pay less attention to one of the main three, and I think Stallworth will benefit from that this week.

Nate Washington: With Santonio Holmes out for a 2nd straight week, Washington gets his chance to go up against the Bengals and prove he can do work in a big conference game. The Bengals can put points up on anyone, which should mean the Steelers will have to let a few loose. Washington is a cheap pick up, and he could get you into the playoffs this week.

Owen Daniels: With Matt Schaub back, the whole Texans’ receiving corps gets a boost, and that’s a good thing for the 2nd year tight end. Daniels has reliable hands, and against a Titans’ secondary that has been loosey goosey, I think OD is a nice pick this week.

Chargers: I see the Chargers bringing the house at the Chiefs – that will cause turnovers and quite possibly defensive scores.

LUCKY’S Week 13 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Rex Grossman: He hasn’t been bad, but this week looks scary against that Giants’ pass rush.

Laurence Maroney: I love this kid, as much as he’s struggled fantasy-wise this season, but he should only struggle more in this game. The Ravens are deadly to fantasy running backs, and the Patriots can pass downfield so easily, why run into a brick wall.

Warrick Dunn: WD40 is a great little back, but the Rams are plenty fast, and have been decent against the run in all but a couple games this season. Dunn has been decent of late, but not this week.

Deion Branch: I see the Hawks using Branch as more of a decoy this week in Philly, plus Seattle doesn’t play well on the road. Steer clear of the former Patriot.

2007 Fantasy Football theRUNDOWN Week 12

This Week’s Top Team: Still going for 140+ – not an easy feat, but if I do it right, it’s possible.

QB: Tom Brady vs. Philadelphia: Lets be honest, he’s Tom freaking Brady – isn’t that a good enough reason to go with this Patriot?

RB: Joseph Addai vs. Atlanta: Last week, the Falcons poor run defense lost both their starting tackles. Two weeks ago, they cut one of their stating tackles. The Colts try and try to run the ball whenever they can. Touchdowns and yards, here J Addai comes.

RB: Steven Jackson vs. Seattle: I’m going out on a limb here and am saying the Hawks will have a tough time with the Rams, and one of the biggest reasons will be the physical running of Ste-Jack.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Philadelphia: Tom Brady throws him the ball, and he’s Randy freaking Moss – that’s solid, right?

WR: Andre Johnson vs. Cleveland: Andre kills it whenever he plays, and on Sunday he’s going heads up against he Browns absolutely pathetic pass defense that allowed a ton of yards to Kyle Boller of all people. Big day for AJ.

TE: Kellen Winslow vs. Houston: This Soldier will have close to 100 yards against the Texans. 10 points from a tight end is a beautiful thing.

K: Rob Bironas vs. Cincinnati: Does it matter? I just pick terrible kickers every week. I’ll guess I’ll go with the team I want to lose – hmmm…. I doubt they’ll lose, but maybe my bad kicker luck will keep them down against the Bungles.

D: San Diego vs. Baltimore: The Chargers will put the Ravens back into their pathetic offensive state, sack Boller more than a couple times, and cause a couple turnovers. I like the Chargers’ chances to put up 20 here.


Kellen Clemens: This kid is getting better every week, and if the Jets want to compete with the Cowboys, they’ll put the ball in the air for some big plays. They’ll have to score points, and I believe Kellen will help get that done.

Earnest Graham: I like Earnest as a sleeper every single week – he doesn’t get near the credit he deserves.

Chester Taylor: I like CT Scan again as well. Chester may not have the best match-up this weekend, but with that offensive line, a big day is very, very possible.

Edgerrin James: Edge has had some questionable performances lately, but if you can get him, you’d have to think against the 49ers will mean good things for the Edge.

D.J. Hackett: Hopefully you have Hackett, and honestly, I don’t think there are 10 receivers I’d start over this talented touchdown threat from Seattle. I know I started him over Tory Holt last week, and I’ll do it again when the Rams and Hawks go at it. Or maybe I’ll play them both, anyway, D-Hack’s a great option.

Donte Stallworth: This is a shove it in your face season for the Patriots, and when they play the Eagles this weekend, I’m sure Brady will try his best to get Stallworth the ball against the team that didn’t even try to resign him. Donte is a good play this weekend.

Tony Scheffler: Against the Bears, I expect Scheff to get 60 yards and quite possibly a touchdown. He’s a tough match-up for that questionable secondary in Chicago.

Chiefs: Going against the Raiders, and the Chiefs defense is way better than people give them credit for. Daunte and company will have a tough time putting up points on Sunday.

LUCKY’S Week 12 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Jason Campbell: Two big weeks in a row have him climbing to where I expected him to be this season, but Jason has a tough match-up against the Bucs’ cover 2 scheme. Mistakes could mean trouble for the Redskin signal caller.

Travis Henry: So many questions surround this guy, sit him until answers come to the forefront.

Wes Welker: I know this is considered blasphemy in some circles, but Wes should be an option that doesn’t get used all that often against the Eagles. 50 yards, maybe?

Roy Williams: This uber-talented WR hasn’t been getting the ball, and I don’t see why that would change against the Packers solid secondary.

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 12

Fantasy Football Know It All

I took a little break from my Tear Jerkers because I was just downright too sad to continue. However, here’s my Week 12 gut busting tear jerkers that irked me out of the playoffs.

DeShaun Foster: How nice of you to show up and play, DeShaun. 9 carries for -5 yards, huh, well that’s not much of a yard per carry average. I’m not sure how that’s possible, and while I have game film, I’m not sure I want to even see hwo that was possible. Gross. Oh, and nice fumble, too.

Ricky Williams: -1 fantasy point, and out for the season, you know what Ricky, I still dig you anyway. Smoke that tree, man! I hope you get traded somewhere and get a chance to play next season, I’m interested as to how well you can play with as much time out of the league as you’ve had.

LenDale White: 8 carries for 27 yards , 2 catches for -1 yard. Ugh. Not really what you expect from a running back against the freaking Bungles… Wow the Titans are falling – just like in Greek Mythology. Ah, I can’t back that up, looks like I need to get back to my studies.

Travis Henry: Get on the field! Hurry, before you get suspended for the rest of your career!

Santana Moss: After a big week, Moss is back to bogus numbers, posting 35 out of the 301 yards his quarterback threw for, Moss also fumbled, bringing his total to 1 fantasy point. At least you’re in the positive.

Lee Evans: Somebody buy this guy a quarterback! Quick! Evans has so much ability, but he is in the same position Steve Smith is in. There isn’t anyone to throw him the ball, and thus he gets a couple catches for 19 yards, and gets my team 1 fantasy point. This has been a bad year for Lee.

(All Steelers and Dolphins, I don’t care what numbers you put up, 3-0? One field goal with less than a minute left – you’ve got to be kidding me)

2007 Fantasy Football theRUNDOWN Week 11

This Week’s Top Team: Still going for 140+ – not an easy feat, but if I do it right, it’s possible.

QB: Carson Palmer vs. Arizona: Palmer is a very good and accurate quarterback and the Cardinals defense doesn’t show up on the road. The Bengals haven’t gone off in a while, so I imagine it’s bound to happen this week in Cinci.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. New Orleans: Tomlinson is about do for a fantasy football Jesus game, and he’s going up against Houston. Good luck Texans, I’m sure Tomlinson is going to try to take his “best back in the league” crown back this week against you.

RB: Brian Westbrook vs. Miami: Westbrook is one of the 5 most dangerous offensive players in the league. He goes up against a very, very bad Dolphins defense this week at home in Philly. Westy killed it last week, and I expect a repeat in Week 11.

WR: Larry Fitzgerald vs. Cincinnati: Larry has been balling it up, and is on pace for just about 1400 yards and 7 touchdown passes. I believe he’ll eclipse both of those numbers, which means he has to have some huge games. Hold on to Larry’s superman cape, because he’ll take you to the fantasy promise land.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Buffalo: Randy hasn’t had a 3 touchdown day in a while, and I know the Patriots had a bye last week, but he’s probably pissed he didn’t get a TD during the off-week. I expect him to use the youthful secondary in Buffalo.

TE: Antonio Gates vs. New Orleans: Phillip Rivers has been bad, but he’s young, and I think he’ll pop back into his accurate throwing ways here late in the year. Gates will find wide open spaces in the Texans’ secondary, so expect a big game from him.

K: Neil Rackers vs. Cincinnati: Is there anyway he’ll have less than a couple field goals and extra points against Cincinnati? I sure hope not, but knowing my kicker luck, he’ll go 0-2 and get maybe one extra point. Damn kickers!

D: Green Bay vs. Carolina: The Packers are a very good young defense that forces turnovers, shuts down the run, and causes good things to happen for their team. The Panthers are brutal in all those areas offensively. Good match-up, big points.


Jeff Garcia: The Falcons have won 2 straight, and they are way too poor of a team to win 3. That being said, I imagine Jeff will have one of his big days to lead the Bucs in a must win game for the NFC South leader.

Earnest Graham: Believe it or not, I also like Graham against the Falcons. Grady Jackson’s been cut, and he was a key run stuffer for the Falcons. I think the Bucs will out pass and muscle the Falcons.

Chester Taylor: Starting in AP’s place, Taylor walks right in to a pretty favorable match-up. The Raiders aren’t tough against the run, and they aren’t good enough to limit Taylor’s touches. Chester is no Peterson, but he’s definitely good enough to torch the Vikings behind his stellar offensive line.

Edgerrin James: Edge hasn’t done big things lately, but he’s consistent, and consistency goes a long way against the Bengals.

D.J. Hackett: Finally healthy, and in my opinion, the best receiver in Seattle. With that new throw it often approach, he should post good numbers for the rest of the season, with Deion Branch in or not.

Ike Hilliard: It’s something I never thought I’d say, but Ike is probably a good play this week against Atlanta. Opposite Joey Galloway, Ike will get the 2nd corner and he’ll do enough to justify a play if you’re in a pinch.

Todd Heap: What a crappy offense. But with Boller, at least the Ravens will have a shot to get some offense going. Yes, Steve McNair has been that bad. Heap should be back to 100% or close, and that should be enough to get 60+ yards and maybe even a score.

Eagles: Can the Dolphins put up points on the Eagles? Maybe with Cleo Lemon in, but not with new starter John Beck. He’s still raw, and word out of Miami is that he hasn’t looked good in practice. That means good things for Eagle owners, and if they’re on the free agent list, pick them up for a big week.

LUCKY’S Week 11 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Vince Young: He has to be benched, in my opinion, even against a less than stellar Broncos team. His passing has been poor, and overall, his touchdowns are just too low to play him.

Jamal Lewis: Lewis goes up against the Ravens, and this time they won’t allow any touchdowns, I can all but guarantee it. Expect very little from this former Raven.

Justin Fargas: Fargas has put together a couple good games, but a week after the Vikings were torched on the ground at the hands of Ryan Grant and the Packers, they will be pissed, and most likely dominate anything the Raiders run at them.

Lee Evans: As talented as he is, the Patriots know how to eliminate him from the game. It’s obvious, but sit JP Losman, too. I almost get the feeling that the Bills kept Losman in there just so they could see him fail and put Edwards back in next week. Do NFL teams really do that? Maybe I’m seeing too much conspiracy theory.

2007 Fantasy Football theRUNDOWN Week 10

This Week’s Top Team: Looking for 140+ points, as tough as that is to get, I think this team can put in work.

QB: Peyton Manning vs. San Diego: The Colts will be ready to bounce back against an up and down Chargers secondary. I’m sure the Chargers will come to play a little pissed off in this one, but Peyton knows how to beat any defense, and I’m positive he’ll put about 20+ on Sunday.

RB: Willis McGahee vs. Bengals: Well, Willis is very good and the Bungles are, well, the Bungles. I think Mr. McGahee will have his best fantasy day of the season.

RB: Larry Johnson vs. Denver: I like Grandma-ma’s chances to do up the Broncos. Denver seems to play like dump in KC, and that team is in the dumps right now. That’s a bad combo when a tough-nosed Chief team is ready to roll. LJ will get a couple scores in this one.

WR: Lee Evans vs. Cincinnati: I know Evans is up and down at best, but I think he’ll have yet another huge day against the Dolphins on Sunday. The only thing a bye week will do for Miami is make the team realize they really don’t have a shot at winning a game this season.

WR: Reggie Wayne vs. San Diego: I don’t think Reggie will drop another pass as long as the season plays out. He dropped a big one against the Patriots, and that gave New England the life they needed to come back. He’ll come back with a vengeance against the Chargers and have another Reggie type day.

TE: Jason Witten vs. New York Giants: Witten doesn’t care if you knock his helmet off – you’ve got to like that about a big sure-handed tight end. Also, I think the Cowboys are going to tear the Giants’ “good” defense a new one on Sunday.

K: Josh Brown vs. San Francisco: The Niners are bad, and the Hawks can’t seem to get their running game going, that spells a high scoring kicking game where I’m from. Plus, Josh got me out of the kicker dumps, so I may or may not ride him the rest of the season.

D: Titans vs. Jacksonville: Quinn Gray may get a little better this wee, he’s been better and better each week as the starter, but I have a feeling the Titans will shut down the Jaguar rushing attack, and that will hurt Jacksonville’s chance to score something fierce.


JP Losman: I know nobody likes to do it, but the kid from Buffalo could put up some points on Sunday against the Dolphins. He has Lee Evans as a weapon, and the Dolphins haven’t really stopped anyone.

Earnest Graham: It took him all of 34 carries, but the young back went for 124 yards and a touchdown on the ground in a big Bucs win over the Cardinals. He also grabbed a couple passes for 13 yards. Graham’s 19 points give me at least a B+.

Kevin Jones: Jones didn’t get too many looks after the Lions started killing the Broncos, he only had 72 yards on 17 carries. But he did alright. Anyway, I’ll take a D+ here, for blowout’s sake.

Rudi Johnson: 9 rushes for 11 yards – yikes – the Bengals are now officially the BUNGLES again… F stands for Fantasy Failure on this one.

Greg Jennings: This guy is a big play receiver for Brett, and I don’t think the Packers have a chance to run against the Vikings. That means lots of throws – Jennings will reel in more than a handful.

Santonio Holmes: If the Hawks’ receivers can get wide open and have Hasselbeck throw for 300+ yards against the Browns, then Holmes will definitely get open this Sunday. I like the young Steeler a lot this week.

Greg Olsen: Greg should be able to tear up the Oakland Raider’s secondary enough for some big plays down field. 2 big plays is a Top 5 day in the TE world…

Chicago: They haven’t been all that good all season long, that will turn around on Sunday against the Raiders. Thank God for a well scheduled game coming off a bye week.

LUCKY’S Week 10 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Phillip Rivers: If he sucks against the slow secondary in Minnesota, imagine what the infinitely fast secondary in Indy will do to this young signal caller. He needs the throw the ball way harder if he wants to complete anything.

Travis Henry: Travis will find it tough sledding against a very good and way underrated front 7 in Kansas City. Plus, the Broncos are bad.

Ryan Grant: He had one huge day, then a so-so day against the Chiefs – he just has a terrible match-up against the Packers this week, I’d stash him on the bench for the rest of the season, just don’t play him against Minnesota.

Alex Smith: This guy plays a decent Hawks defense, and he has been no short of brutal. Leave him on the waiver wire where he belongs this season.

Darrell Jackson: The Hawks know this guy very well. They know he wasn’t worth much more than a 4th round pick, and he still hasn’t done dick for his new team. I don’t think that will change on Monday Night Football this week against his old ball club.

2007 Fantasy Football theRUNDOWN Week 9

This Week’s Top Team: No Patriots, No Colts – I’m leaving that game out of this week’s Fantasy RunDown… Too much hype, I don’t think I can type the words Brady and Manning after seeing them so damn much all week long.

QB: Matt Hasselbeck vs. Cleveland: This may be a push, but here’s my reasoning, not even the terrible Browns defense will make life easier on Shaunna Alexander, but I know the Hawks will put up 4 touchdowns at least in this game. If Shaun’s not getting them, then maybe Matt will. With Deion Branch, Marcus Pollard, and DJ Hackett back this week, Matt will have no shortage of targets.

RB: Clinton Portis vs. N.Y. Jets: I don’t ever think Clinton is a safe play, but his upside this week could be big going up against New York. Since I’m leaving the “undefeateds” out of this week’s section, I’m taking a few more chances. The Jets have a terrible rush defense, and Washington imposes their rushing will on every opponent besides the One. I’ll take Clinton to have his best game of the season against the Jets.

RB: Frank Gore vs. Atlanta: Yeah, I know, Frank is all over the fantasy world as the biggest bust of the first half, but I don’t think it’s his fault. He’s ran pretty well, just hasn’t been in enough games to get the touches he needs to put up huge numbers. I think this weeks’ game against an Atlanta defense that just cut their top run stuffer is a good place to start. Run Frank, Run.

WR: Lee Evans vs. Cincinnati: Lee is a risky business type pick, but he also has 3 or 4 games a year where he goes bonkers on his unsuspecting opponents. The Bengals are a good defense to take advantage of, and I think JP Losman back at the helm will help Evans do his damage.

WR: Terrell Owens vs. Philadelphia: TO has a huge mouth, and I’m rooting for Brian Westbrook to crack him in his fat teeth, but I think Owens will have his best game yet against his former team.

TE: Antonio Gates vs. Minnesota: The run game won’t be on fire, because there’s not team better at shutting down the run than the Vikings. But that secondary is out to lunch, and Gates will put up big numbers at TE, what’s new?

K: Josh Brown vs. Cleveland: I’m saving my butt here, I know Kickers have been killing me all season, so I’m taking the kicker for my quarterback’s team. That way, if Matt sucks it up and doesn’t put up TDs, one of my guys will be scoring.

D: Chargers vs. Minnesota: Look at that offense in Minnesota, all they can do is run. If you can’t take advantage of the Chargers’ mediocre secondary, they will kill you quick. The Vikings can’t and the Chargers will.


Kellen Clemmens: Buffalo’s defense has played way better than I expected, but I think Clemmens will come out and show his head coach why the change should have been made weeks ago. He’ll have a nice day with at least 2 touchdowns.

Phillip Rivers: Rivers has been up and down this season, against the Vikings I expect this youngster to be on the up swing. He’s one of my top plays for Week 9 – go with him.

Earnest Graham: He’ll get lots of looks against the Cardinals, and while I think Arizona is better against the run this season, the Bucs have a good enough coaching staff to make their game plan work, and thus Graham is a nice option if you need one.

Kevin Jones: I don’t like Detroit’s offensive line all that much, but Jones is explosive, and he runs tough enough to put it to that suspect defensive front in Denver. The Lions have been running a lot more lately, that’s good for Jones and his owners.

Rudi Johnson: Rudi’s back, and while he has a little bit of the Shaunna Alexander puss-foot-itas, I think he’ll be back to running hard when he gets the chance to show why he’s the right man for the job when Cinci plays Buffalo this weekend. Also, Buffalo’s defense isn’t all that good against the run.

Deion Branch: Branch is a good and consistent player, and he gets to come back against the Cleveland Browns, the defense that allows more yards per game than any other unit in the league. I think Branch is a nice option if he plays.

Chris Chambers: The guy already caught one touchdown pass last week in his first game, and this week should give him more chances to impress his new teammates. Everyone and their mother seems to torch the Vikings secondary, I think LT’s presence will have the Vikings making Rivers, Chambers, Gates, and Jackson beat them. I think they will.

Tony Scheffler: The big cat is still on the free agent lists in most leagues, and he’s about to go on a second half touchdown spree that will make Gates and Gonzalez look over their shoulders. When he puts up 6 scores in the next 9 games, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Titans DST: I’m once again not too impressed with the Panthers, and David Carr starting this week doesn’t do much to make me think things will be any different. This should be a close one, but lots of mistakes will have passes up for grabs.

LUCKY’S Week 9 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Brett Favre: It doesn’t seem like a good season to go against the Favre, but I don’t think this Green Bay God will have a very good game against the Chiefs. Kansas City has had 2 weeks to look at this game, and they have a solid defensive core that can pressure Brett and take advantage of any Brett-like mistakes. My gut says sit the old man this week.

LaDainian Tomlinson: I can’t believe I’m saying this, and I’m not going to actually sit him, but I think LT could have a bad game against Minnesota. I know the Vikings have to have an off week some week, and this could be the week, but I think that front 7 is excited at their chance to stop the king. That’s my advice, but I completely understand if you ignore it, like I’m doing.

Reggie Bush: If I’m saying sit LT, I might as well go and tell you to sit Bush as well. Reggie hasn’t shown me much this season, and the Jaguars are definitely stout against the run. Even with Quinn Gray in at QB for the Jags, I think they have a very good chance of upsetting the Saints in New Orleans, and their ability to shut down the run is a big reason why.

Roy Williams: This guy is a stud, but he doesn’t get the ball enough in Detroit, and I think the two super stars at corner for the Broncos will be up and ready to put last week’s loss behind them, you know, the one where Greg Jennings and James Jones ran right by Bly and Champ for two long touchdowns. Roy steps in against Denver on a bad week.

James Jones: I know this guy is a huge pick-up this week for fantasy owners everywhere, but I wouldn’t start him this week. Rookies are up and down to say the least, and KC’s defense will be ready. Driver will be more involved this week, and that takes away from the younger guys for the Pack.

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 9

Fantasy Football Know It All

A couple of these donkeys hit close to home in Week 9, prying fantasy victory from my very palms. Check out my Tearjerkers for week 9.

Lamont Jordan/Dominic Rhodes: Thanks a lot for your guys’ services, but the 3rd year back out of USC, Justin Fargas, made you guys look like old and useless contract problems that will be taken care of next season. Fargas had 23 totes for 104 yards and a touchdown, where you guys combined for 2 fantasy points, both Lamont’s – like I said, you’re killing guy who thought he was rich when you produced earlier in the year Lamont.

Frank Gore: Didn’t start after guaranteeing that you would be running on Sunday. Apparently you aren’t super-human, big guy – but I still love your game. And I think you’ll bound back – but for now, you’re killing me smalls.

Ronald Curry: I can’t blame you for your 12 yard performance and your 1 fantasy point – but I sure can shed a tear over it. McCown was even back, and you do well with him throwing you the ball. I thought you’d have a huge season, and thus far you’ve only tricked me into believing it is possible. I need a big 2nd half from you Curry, no more of this tearjerker business.

Travis Henry: 31 yards against the Lions? Wow, things are dicey in Denver. Henry, I expected something close to the rushing championship from you, buddy, and 31 freaking yards, and 4 total fantasy points against the Lions isn’t most exciting thing I’ve ever seen. In fact, it rips tears from my eyes when I need a decent game from you for a big win. Jerk.

Roy Williams: The Lions scored 44 points, and Roy had 44 yards… No scores. That in and of itself is a tear ripper. I nee more, Roy. More.

Shaunna Alexander: Not a misspelling. This guy isn’t running like a 4.6 running, 235 pound man – he’s running like Shaunna. I hate watching him. It’s freaking painful.

(Consideration from the 49ers not on this list, and everyone else that had a huge day against me, or a bad day for me – thanks)