Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 12

Fantasy Football Know It All

I took a little break from my Tear Jerkers because I was just downright too sad to continue. However, here’s my Week 12 gut busting tear jerkers that irked me out of the playoffs.

DeShaun Foster: How nice of you to show up and play, DeShaun. 9 carries for -5 yards, huh, well that’s not much of a yard per carry average. I’m not sure how that’s possible, and while I have game film, I’m not sure I want to even see hwo that was possible. Gross. Oh, and nice fumble, too.

Ricky Williams: -1 fantasy point, and out for the season, you know what Ricky, I still dig you anyway. Smoke that tree, man! I hope you get traded somewhere and get a chance to play next season, I’m interested as to how well you can play with as much time out of the league as you’ve had.

LenDale White: 8 carries for 27 yards , 2 catches for -1 yard. Ugh. Not really what you expect from a running back against the freaking Bungles… Wow the Titans are falling – just like in Greek Mythology. Ah, I can’t back that up, looks like I need to get back to my studies.

Travis Henry: Get on the field! Hurry, before you get suspended for the rest of your career!

Santana Moss: After a big week, Moss is back to bogus numbers, posting 35 out of the 301 yards his quarterback threw for, Moss also fumbled, bringing his total to 1 fantasy point. At least you’re in the positive.

Lee Evans: Somebody buy this guy a quarterback! Quick! Evans has so much ability, but he is in the same position Steve Smith is in. There isn’t anyone to throw him the ball, and thus he gets a couple catches for 19 yards, and gets my team 1 fantasy point. This has been a bad year for Lee.

(All Steelers and Dolphins, I don’t care what numbers you put up, 3-0? One field goal with less than a minute left – you’ve got to be kidding me)

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 9

Fantasy Football Know It All

A couple of these donkeys hit close to home in Week 9, prying fantasy victory from my very palms. Check out my Tearjerkers for week 9.

Lamont Jordan/Dominic Rhodes: Thanks a lot for your guys’ services, but the 3rd year back out of USC, Justin Fargas, made you guys look like old and useless contract problems that will be taken care of next season. Fargas had 23 totes for 104 yards and a touchdown, where you guys combined for 2 fantasy points, both Lamont’s – like I said, you’re killing guy who thought he was rich when you produced earlier in the year Lamont.

Frank Gore: Didn’t start after guaranteeing that you would be running on Sunday. Apparently you aren’t super-human, big guy – but I still love your game. And I think you’ll bound back – but for now, you’re killing me smalls.

Ronald Curry: I can’t blame you for your 12 yard performance and your 1 fantasy point – but I sure can shed a tear over it. McCown was even back, and you do well with him throwing you the ball. I thought you’d have a huge season, and thus far you’ve only tricked me into believing it is possible. I need a big 2nd half from you Curry, no more of this tearjerker business.

Travis Henry: 31 yards against the Lions? Wow, things are dicey in Denver. Henry, I expected something close to the rushing championship from you, buddy, and 31 freaking yards, and 4 total fantasy points against the Lions isn’t most exciting thing I’ve ever seen. In fact, it rips tears from my eyes when I need a decent game from you for a big win. Jerk.

Roy Williams: The Lions scored 44 points, and Roy had 44 yards… No scores. That in and of itself is a tear ripper. I nee more, Roy. More.

Shaunna Alexander: Not a misspelling. This guy isn’t running like a 4.6 running, 235 pound man – he’s running like Shaunna. I hate watching him. It’s freaking painful.

(Consideration from the 49ers not on this list, and everyone else that had a huge day against me, or a bad day for me – thanks)

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 8

Fantasy Football Know-It-All

Back pain and all, Older Papa Weimer is back with his Tear Jerkers for Week 8. There’s only so much you can do, start the players you have and hope for the best – if you happened to have this group of donkeys on Sunday (or Monday) than you are SOL this week.

Lamont Jordan: Where have you gone, buddy? You had everyone and their mother convinced that last years’ terrible totals were an aberration, nice trick. Again you struggled, and made those same owners sick that had gloated after the first two games about how great you were, and how they were so cool for stealing you late and picking WRs and QBs early. Well, screw them.

Frank Gore: 4 points for this Top 5 pick, ouch, it’s getting ugly in San Francisco – so much for competing for the top spot in the West, eh? The 49ers are dip sixing it as we speak. The 49ers are getting killed by everyone, and Frank Gore isn’t getting the ball enough. Everyone can see the kid is frustrated, and I believe he’ll have about 5 big games to finish off the season in fine fashion. But this week, Gore was a tear jerker.

Donald Driver: 28 yards on a night where Brett threw for 331 and two scores… Ugh. I watched the game with about 6 die hard Packer fans, and I realized something; Brett Favre never makes a bad throw – for example, the one ball Driver lunged for in the end zone, the one that barely skipped off his longest finger tip, to a Packer fan, that was a ball Driver just couldn’t hold on to, “God, Driver, hold onto the damn ball.” Wow. Anyway, regardless, it was Jennings and Jones having big days for Green Bay, and Ryan Grant as well. Not Driver.

Brian Griese: 204 yards, 4 interceptions, and 1 touchdown…. Gross. That’s 6 points for a quarterback playing against the Detroit Lions. That’s not the first time Griese has thrown bad picks against the Lions. They must have his number – unfortunately for them, the only quarterbacks number they have is Brian Griese’s, and they’re done playing him for the rest of the season.

Matt Schaub: I don’t like putting injured players in here, but Schaub threw for 77 yards and 2 picks in his limited action. That’s a nice -2 for the day in my league. Not necessarily a good score for a starting quarterback, now is it? Nope. If you started Stump the Schaub, you were definitely crying after Sunday.
(Congratulations to Lee Evans for playing well enough to be in consideration for a fantasy tear jerker award next week, it’s about time little man!)

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 7

Fantasy Football Know-It-All

Sorry for the small paragraphs – Lucky’s “OLD” back is trying to get me out of this chair as fast as possible. These are the guys that aided my back pain this weekend…

Laurence Maroney: Not only do we here at think this guy is one of the most talented running backs in the league, but I personally think he has the talent to be the best fantasy back in the league. With Brady putting up huge numbers, and Belichick trying to hold off on breaking Laurence down, the guy only got 6 carries. He got 31 yards, but 3 points from my starting runner is a tough pill to swallow.

Marques Colston: I know the sophomore slump gets guys hard, but this was Colston’s 6th week of the season, and his 5th time producing 6 fantasy points or less – that’s just downright terrible. He makes me cry, mainly because I can’t drop this guy.

Joey Galloway: Joey had 4 points as well, but you probably, like me, expected him to do big terrible things to the Lions, especially with Jeff Garcia putting up 300+ yards and a couple scores. But, that wasn’t the case, and that kind of pissed me off.

Jerious Norwood: The Falcons needed to run, and they needed something better than Warrick Dunn’s 2 yards per carry – but still, Jerious managed only 3 fantasy points. How so low? Well, for the 5th time this year, he had 6 carries. In fact, this dynamic runner has never had more than 9 carries this season. This Bobby Patrino guy looks more and more like a dip-shit every day. To start the week, he dropped Grady Jackson, the defensive tackle that was killing opposing teams’ rushing attack. Nice, buddy.

Jason Campbell: I love this kid, but he had 1 damn point. He only got a few chances to throw the ball, but 95 yards – my god, tell one of those receivers to do something with their life. It’s hard to think about starting Campbell next week, especially with the Patriots looming.

Marc Bulger: -1 fantasy points – and he looked bad. Not only that, but when his head coach gave him a good talking to, Marc rolled the eyes like a little girl. Wow – this guy has SUCKED this season. Hard to watch him be this bad, unless you’re a Hawk fan. 21-40 for 225 yards and 3 picks – nice day, bub.

(Also considered; – All Rams and Dolphins – get a damn win, fellas, would you?)

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 6

Fantasy Football Know-It-All

Amongst many NFL players, these were the guys ripping tears from my eyes like they were playing some sadistic roll in the next Saw movie. Pull! Nice.

Kurt Warner: Injuries never make it on the Tearjerkers list, but I started Kurt in more than a couple leagues expecting huge things from the former All-Pro. Well, he was 2-2 for 21 yards before he fumbled and reached in for the ball like he was going to pry it away from a defensive tackle. With all the times Kurt has fumbled, you’d think he’d know that he never wins that battle. Either way, Kurt busted my fantasy hopes, the drained the chance of me covering my bet (Zona -3.5) because Tim Rattay wasn’t going to come in and win any battles. Overall, Kurt was stealing tears this week. Hope you get better, old man.

Rudi Johnson: Rudi’s 4 carries for 8 yards wasn’t what his fantasy owners were hoping for with his return on Sunday. Talk about a kick to the groin. Rudi didn’t do jack, the Bengals lost to the Chiefs, and Chad Johnson looks like he’s about to blow a fuse any time now. All in all, Rudi’s value took a big hit in this one, and one can only hope that he returns to the back he once was, or starts getting regular reps at the position.

Brett Favre: Okay, Brett looked old this week against the Redskins, but Washington has been money on defense all year long, so this might have been coming. Either way, those who started Brett thinking they were getting a renewed gun-slinger that had tossed for 300 yards in 3 straight games ended up getting 188 yards and two interceptions with nary a touchdown. That’s a tearjerker if I’ve every seen one.

Phillip Rivers: Rivers continues his up and down life, playing well and being a fantasy factor when I don’t start him, and delivering painful kicks to the caucux when I do start him. Well, I started him last week against the Raiders, thinking he’d have to throw because the Raiders would put 9 in the box, but I was wrong. LT went bananas with 198 yards and 4 touchdowns, while Phil mostly just handed the ball off and watched in tearjerking admiration.

Shaunna Alexander: My favorite quote of the week from ESPN’s finest. “Shaun doesn’t run tough. He runs soft and falls down to easily. He doesn’t look like he’s giving much effort. He’s not going to like that I said that, but that’s what I see. He’s making me see that. It’s not like I’m making it up or saying it just to get to him. He’s running the way he is, and I’m just seeing it.” (or something close to that – said by Mike Ditka) Overall, I’ve been saying this for the last 2 seasons. As a Hawks fan, I’d have to say, Shaunna is one of the toughest running backs in the league… To root for. He runs like a damn roll of toilet paper, and I’m sick of it. Thanks for 3 points, 35 rushing yards, against the Saints’ terrible defense, by the way, nice work!

Tory Holt and Donald Driver: Neither had a good match-up, but Holt and Driver both scored 3 measily fantasy points. These guys are both #1 receivers. The other thing is, neither team had much of a rushing attack on Sunday, either. Starting these two All-Pro receivers just killed my fantasy team this week.

(Also considered; – Chad Pennington and Warrick Dunn, but then I realized that neither is worth having on my fantasy team, anyway – also, Bryant Johnson (but he had Tim Rattay throwing the ball over his head, so can’t really blame him – also any Falcons receiver (they all dropped passes, from Crump to Joe Horn, Mike Jenkins, Laurent Robinson, and Roddy White – nice work fellas, way to make Joey look worse than he is – and last but not least, the Dolphins defense – what a bad, bad unit.)

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 5

Fantasy Football Know-It-All

Romo did some interception throwing like he was getting points for the damn things, but he ended up leading his team to victory and flashing a fat 8 points on the board. Needless to say, he didn’t win my fantasy league for me. Who was a tear jerker in Week 5? Weird, Lee Evans finds his name back on the “bad” list, as do a couple more big name players. Check ’em out right MEOW!

Jon Kitna: Is that a zero I hear dropping on the score sheet from Kitna’s fantasy league? You betcha. 2 picks, 106 yards, and a big fat loss for the Lions. Yes, I imagine it’ll be tough to reach that 10 win plateau with numbers like that. I mean, I know the Redskins are improved, but lets not pretend that they’re one of the best defenses in the league. Kitna, suck it up and use that cave-man skull of yours to put up some points next week. Or better yet, don’t, and get back on the list.

Larry Johnson: Tough sledding for the big-money guy. 9 rushes, 12 yards, 5 catches 3 yards. Needless to say, the Chiefs didn’t do much in terms of winning on Sunday. It looks like the Jaguars are back to their old tricks which means, watch out running backs. Huard was brutal, the O-line in KC is something to frown at, and overall, I’m not so sure it’ll get much better. Not every game will put the Chiefs up against one of the toughest front-fours in football, but every D will single in on LJ, especially with Brodie Croyle running show.

Mark Clayton: Like Tatum Bell, Mark Clayton will not be allowed back on the tear jerker list until he proves he’s actually worth owning. I’m holding on to him, just because I think his upside is mucho grande, but he’s been one of the biggest busts in fantasy football. Last week against San Francisco – 1 catch, 5 yards. Thanks for coming out.

Tatum Bell: Bell will no longer be on the Tear Jerker list, because he is no longer worth owning in fantasy football leagues. I kid you not, this cat is done. After all that off-season talk about how Mike Martz loves him and Jones is out for the year, Tatum will now be a high-priced backup looking to the off-season for some more work. Thank you for your 4 carries for 15 yards, young Bell – and next time you get the ball, learn how to look for a hole.

Terrell Owens: TO had more drops than catches, and he busted out 2 for 25 yards and 2 fantasy points. I had Romo and TO, so needless to say, I’m searching for a way to pick up the pieces in Week 6.

Lee Evans: Back again. 1 catch, 12 yards – but hey, it was a nice route, and a nice sideline finger tip catch. My good god.

Chris Chambers: Chris had a point. Sweet, Carl. 2 catches for 19 yards, and to think, one more yard and he could have had 2 points. Eh, he still makes this list if he has 2 points, so big deal.

(Also considered; – Matt Leinart’s shoulder, the Cardinals’ defense, every single player on the Broncos, even coach Splinter)

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 4

Fantasy Football Know-It-All

My goodness, I’m not positive (for weed) but I’m pretty sure Travis Henry is going to have a few people shedding tears in fantasy football this week, and not because he’s going to tear up the Chargers defense. Oh no. How absolutely mentally ill can some cats be? What is with the youth today? I’ve had enough, but here are your tear jerkers for Week 4.

Donovan McNabb: I’m not sure who to blame, but McNabb has a lot of talent to be scoring 3 freaking fantasy points. It’s a shame they don’t give quarterbacks negative rushing yards for sacks, because if they did, he would have had at least -30 rushing yards, and he could have been on the hook for zero fantasy points. Either way, McNabb isn’t getting it done for my team, and I’m imagining, that despite last week’s performance against Detroit, you’re not too impressed with the guy, either.

Darrell Jackson: D-Jack continues to be unimpressive on a weekly basis. Nice. Was this cat just the product of being the #1 receiver in Seattle’s offense? Or is it possible that Alex Smith and the 49ers offense needs Norv Turner that bad? I don’t know, but if Alex continues to play poorly when he gets back, and Norv continues to blow all that talent in San Diego, I’m pretty sure Turner could get “job-backs” and head back to Northern California. Isn’t it terrible when a move hurts so many people. If only the Chargers Brass would have kept Marty around.

Marc Bulger: “Mr. Marc “Underrated, everyone should pick him over McNabb” Bulger hasn’t had a very good entry to 2007, and I’m not sure if it’s going to get much brighter from here. Bulger had -2 fantasy points in Week 3, and looked Terrible, with a capital T. Another starting lineman down, and that makes 3 backups for Bulger, who is a very stationary quarterback. Think, one of those British soldier guys that never move all day long. Well, Bulger needs to improve if the Rams want to be anything close to what they were last year, and keep themselves out of the NFC West cellar.” (Me, last week) As you can see, Marc Bulger isn’t a first time offender either. Yes, this underrated man has been doing some poorly rated things. He did get better than last week, putting up 2 fantasy points, but I don’t think that’s good enough. He got benched, so I have a hard time seeing him outscoring 2 next week – he’ll stick to his two-week average, though.

Tatum Bell: “Bell was supposed to be Mike Martz’ new Marshall Faulk, and Kevin Jones was supposed to have a hard time finding playing time when he returned from injuries.” (Me, last week) As you can see, this isn’t a first time offense for Mr. Bell. As it turns out, Mike Shanahan wasn’t just trying to squash Bell’s career, he just isn’t as good a player as you would think he should be. Well, Tear Jerker central, Tatum is riding the train.

Terrell Owens: I have a feeling you won’t see TO here too many times this season. It was as if TO and Tony Romo got together and said, “Lets show teams that Patrick can do dirty work, so I’ll stop getting double covered,” and bingo, TO gets 3 fantasy points while Crayton goes off the deep end, torching fantasy football for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns. Well, TO made fantasy owners cringe last week, as his antics didn’t win many fantasy match-ups.

Ravens Defense: Not only have the Ravens sucked when it comes to putting points on the board and winning games against easy teams, but their defense has been average at best. Last week, against a very mediocre Browns team, the Big Bad Ravens D totaled a humungous 4 fantasy points. Nice work, now tell me they weren’t worth a 5th round pick… C’mon, tell me. They are so good, they are definitely worth that high of a selection. Defenses… Hahaha…

Chris Chambers: I’d blame Trent Green but, well, hell – it’s Trent Green’s fault that Chambers didn’t do jack against the Raiders, but I’m putting the up and down wideout up here because I’m sick of everyone telling me that he’s been so good this year. Expect more crappy games, and less of those nice, incredible, 100 yard outings. Trent is brutal, and he’s even older than I am – okay, not true, but he’s almost old enough for me to have picked on him as a kid.

(Also considered; -Todd Heap (3pts), Matt Leinart (3pts), Isaac Bruce and Drew Bennett (2pts a peice), Steve Smith (he’d be on the main list – 2pts – but I saw a little of that game, and he’s already mad enough that David Carr can’t get him the ball, it’s not his fault) and Jerious Norwood (I blame Patrino for that last one, what a dope)

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 3

Fantasy Football Know-It-All

WOW! Week 3 had more than a few tear jerkers, some being the same old contributors from Weeks 1 and 2 – well, I’m here to rip them a new one, and alleviate some of the pressure building up in that fantasy dungeon of a depression that’s accumulating on the message boards. Here is a group of donkeys that really pulled a Hee-Haw in Week 3.

Steve Smith: The mighty mouse of the NFL struggled to find anything in Week 3, as Atlanta made sure that the little stud wideout would have nothing to do with a win for the Panthers. However, everyone worrying about Smith did give plenty of opportunities to the Panthers’ rushing attack, allowing Deshaun Foster to go for 122 yards and a score – well, that didn’t help Smith fans out at all, but lets be honest, you’ll be starting him next week, no doubt in my mind.

Larry Johnson: LJ got 20+ carries, which would have made owners happy if he didn’t use those 24 carries to go for a historic 42 yards. Yes, that’s history for LJ, as he’s never had that many carries for that low of a YPC average. In fact, I’m willing to guarantee that the Chief running beast hasn’t had that many carries with that low of a fantasy total in his entire career. Nice work, eh?

Marc Bulger: Mr. Marc “Underrated, everyone should pick him over McNabb” Bulger hasn’t had a very good entry to 2007, and I’m not sure if it’s going to get much brighter from here. Bulger had -2 fantasy points in Week 3, and looked Terrible, with a capital T. Another starting lineman down, and that makes 3 backups for Bulger, who is a very stationary quarterback. Think, one of those British soldier guys that never move all day long. Well, Bulger needs to improve if the Rams want to be anything close to what they were last year, and keep themselves out of the NFC West cellar.

Tatum Bell: Bell was supposed to be Mike Martz’ new Marshall Faulk, and Kevin Jones was supposed to have a hard time finding playing time when he returned from injuries. Well, 20 yards rushing and receiving will give a guy 4 fantasy points, and a spot on the bench in the next few weeks in Detroit.

Maurice Jones Drew: Maurice Jones Drew continues to disappoint. Last week, he got enough carries to be a factor against a relatively poor rushing defense in Denver, but he didn’t do anything worth while. Jones Drew had just over 2 yards per carry, and enough fantasy points to realize that you messed up when you selected him as a breakout candidate for this season. It will be tough sledding for Jones Drew to approach the fantasy numbers he had last season.

Lee Evans: Lee Evans lost his starting quarterback early in the Bills contest against the patriots, and once again, Lee Evans wasn’t even close to the Top 10 guy everyone expected him to be. I personally dig Lee’s game, but if nobody can get him the ball, what good is he? I’m waiting two more weeks before I try to add a receiver to make up for Lee’s lack of production, but don’t trade him so soon, next week he plays a “normal” defense for the first time this season. Remember, he started against Denver’s secondary, Pittsburgh’s, and then New England – all three have been fantasy suicide to receivers this season. The Jets? Not so much.

Jeff Wilkins: Dead eye Jeff was 1 for 3 this weekend, missing two 40 yarders and hitting one extra point – nice work Jeff, I don’t normally put kickers on my fantasy tear jerkers list, but since the Rams have done dick, you definitely deserve to be on here for being the one guy who got chances to score in St. Louis and still failing miserably.

Javon Walker: Javon Walker didn’t do anything against a secondary that hasn’t been good this season. Jacksonville has some young speedsters, but this go-to guy shouldn’t be getting shut down like he did against the Jaguars. He had 2 catches and 1 rush, neither for enough yards to register more than his one fantasy point. Jeff, you’re killing me buddy. If you had only stayed in Green Bay, you would have had a healthy portion of Brett’s 300+ yards on Sunday.

Rex Gossman: Yikes! I was cheering for Rex, and I always have been. I think this kid gets way too much hatred from football fans, and honestly, he hasn’t deserved it. But anyone who has started the season the way he has deserves at least most of the criticism that comes his way. Unless Rex pulls his head out of his poop, he’s going to have a long, or short, season in Chicago. Neither will be good for the once promising young signal caller.

(Also considered; -Everyone in Buffalo besides Marshawn Lynch, any non rookie starting running back hopeful that had lots of upside coming into the season, anyone in Minnesota besides Adrian Peterson) , Rudi Johnson (if only for his horrendous 17 rushes for 9 yards – not a happy stat), and Deshawn Wynn (only because of the 24,930 people who picked him up in Yahoo leagues and especially those who started him – its their fault Deshawn)

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 2

Fantasy Football Know-It-All

This is Papa Weimer here, and I’ve got to be honest. I’m at my best criticizing a pissy job on Sundays. Yeah, these guys were highly touted by fantasy sports writers everywhere. These guys just didn’t get it done in Week 2, and what do you know, there’s still a Saint on the list. Hopefully you’re not stuck with these fantasy football blisters on your roster, or you are most likely 0-2, or at least 0 for Week 2.

Cincinnati Bengals Defense: This group of clowns allowed the Browns to dominate them to the tune of 51 points. 51… Browns… Derek Anderson and company. Yikes. These guys got -6 points in my fantasy league, last I checked, that’s about as crappy as one defense could possible score. I don’t know what else to say about the Bengals, except, I hope they didn’t lose you your fantasy outing like they did mine. Rex Grossman on his worst day is the only guy I can think of that compares to Cinci this week.

Deuce McAllister: The only problem I have with putting Deuce here, is, he was actually productive in his limited touches against the Buccos. Deuce had 49 yards on 10 carries, and last time I checked, 4.9 yards per carry is a solid number to put next to your name. Well, Deuce fumbled, and he collected a fat 2 fantasy points, good for a 49th place tie for running backs on Sunday. Gross. The Saints need to start feeding McAllister the ball more, if they want to snap out of their 2 game skid, and get back to the kind of offense they were playing last season. Right now, the Saints are nobodies angels.

Alex Smith: For a guy who looked so good in the pre-season, Alex Smith has been brutal to start 2007. I still think Smith could figure it out if the 49ers give him more opportunities, but it looks like San Fran’s coaching staff could ride their running game until they get more confidence in Alex Smith’s ability to make the big throw. His 3 fantasy points in Week 2 were worse than any starting quarterback’s numbers in the entire NFL. Even Josh McCwoen and his 3 interceptions had a better fantasy day than Smith.

Tatum Bell: Bell had one of the worst days for any #1 running back in the league. Tatum carried 9 times for 14 yards, and grabbed 4 balls for 25 yards. Overall, he just couldn’t find room to run against Minnesota’s stellar defense. Bell has the speed and elusiveness to make good use of his touches, but Mike Martz likes to take what the defense gives him, and/or completely ignore the running game from week to week, so Bell might find himself on the tear jerker list every time his Lions play a solid rushing defense.

Maurice Jones Drew: My main man only had 4 fantasy points in Week 2, and still isn’t getting near enough touches on a team where he is definitely the best offensive option. I just flat out don’t get it. Drew only had 3 yards per carry in Week 2, but he needs to get 20 touches a week if the Jags want to stand a chance in their division. Right now, Jacksonville isn’t getting it done, and you should sit Drew until they figure it out, if you have a decent #3 option.

Lee Evans: For the second straight week, Lee collected a mere 2 catches. This time, he one upped himself, and also gathered a fantasy point. The Bills have a tough opening schedule, and it doesn’t get that much easier, but I’d bet it all on Evans doing better from here on out. The Bills haven’t been good at anything to start the season, and I have a feeling that might continue, but they’ll stop playing not to lose here in a week or so, because that’s just not working. When the Bills do realize that they need to take chances to win, Evans once again becomes one of the best receivers in Fantasy Football.

LaDainian Tomlinson: Tomlinson may just about lead my list of Tear Jerkers in fantasy points this week, but those owners who took the face of fantasy football in your drafts have surely felt the repercussions, especially in Week 2. His per carry stats make Reggie Bush look like a stud, and overall, his offense has been pathetic. I think this would be a great time to go out and plunder Tomlinson in fantasy leagues, as he’s done playing the Patriots and Bears for the season. This is still the best fantasy player in the game, maybe even the best player in the league, but he has owners crying in Week 2.

Mark Clayton: Mark has been injured, but playing, and while I feel bad for picking on a gimp, this guy, who I had high hopes for in 2007, had a catch for -1 yard. Dude, save yourself some bad publicity and take a seat on the bench. Not only has Clayton not delivered, but his offense in Baltimore looks like a pile of pooh. I still expect big things from the former Sooner, but right now, he’s a sure thing Tear Jerker.

Rex Gossman: Rex may have accumulated positive points, but he passes no beauty test, that’s for sure, because his game is ugly. This kid looks like he took the summer off from throwing a football, and came back with all his bad traits and none of the good ones. A few more starts like this, and Sexy Rexy is going to be watching Brian Griese from the sidelines.

Also considered; -the rookie WR threesome- Robert Meachem (0 life points), Ted Ginn Jr (0 offensive stats), Dwayne Jarrett (inactive), then Mushin Muhammad (7 yards), Devery Henderson (0 cathes), Donte Stallworth (1pt), Daniel Graham (0pts), Ronnie Brown (6pts), Deshaun Foster (4pts), DeAngelo Williams (3pts) — Well done fells, you couldn’t even do bad enough to win a Tear Jerker, you just get honorable mention for doing nothing worth while.

Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 1

Fantasy Football Know-It-All
This is Papa Weimer here, and I’ve got to be honest. I’m at my best criticizing a pissy job on Sundays. Yeah, these guys were highly touted by fantasy sports writers everywhere. From ESPN to your buddy who likes to claim fantasy royalty, this list of disappointments hit the road stumbling in Week 1, and as if the stumble itself wasn’t bad enough, an impenetrable brick wall was smack dab in their way. It started early, as last year’s fantasy happy thought was down in the dumps in Indy… You want the All Bad team? Read on, good sir! 9 elite guys: 14 points. If you drafted these guys in your league, you had one hell of a good draft. But, on the flip side, you had one crappy week 1.

Drew Brees: 1 fantasy point, 2 fantasy points, whatever your league gives this guy, he didn’t meet expectations. 28-41 for 191 yards? What the hell was he doing? Completing passes to stationary dummies 5 yards downfield? The All-World Saints’ offense didn’t score a single touchdown in Indy on Thursday. The same Colt team that lost 5 starters from a defense that wasn’t very good last season. Brees’ 2 interceptions and 1 fumble didn’t help the cause either. This guy has been picked 2nd in more than half the leagues I’ve drafted. I have him in 1 league, and I’m not real happy about his output in Week 1. No TDs, under 200 yards, and 3 turnovers. Drew Brees looked like Ryan Leaf in Week 1.

Deuce McAllister: The Deuce was not loose on Thursday Night. All in all, the Saints offense that was supposed to produce like the Colts Big 4 produced more like the Temple Owls Big 4, and thus disappointed fantasy owners all over the US, and in Canada too (I know a couple, believe me). McAllister was supposed to run all over the Colts poor rush defense, but that just wasn’t the case. He had 3.8 yards per carry, which was better than his more publicized backfield mate, but 3 fantasy points isn’t something to get excited about from your starting running back. He did have 2 grabs, but like Reggie, he totaled only 7 receiving yards. Needless to say, the Saints lost to the Colts on Thursday Night.

Reggie Bush: I must admit, I don’t have Reggie Bush in one single league. I have a lot of teams in a lot of different formats, and I’m sure not having Reggie Bush will make me angry as soon as Week 2, but right now, I feel like a genius. I stayed away from the USC godsend, and I was rewarded in Week 1. His 12 carries for 38 yards started him off with an unprofitable 3.1 yards per carry. But what about his receiving? Sure, in a PPR league, Bush’s hands got owners another 4 points, but his 7 total receiving yards got you jack in normal leagues. Reggie’s 3 fantasy points were hardly worth the 1st Round pick most owners spent on him. Reggie, like some of your Saint teammates, you fit the Tear Jerking bill in Week 1.

Marques Colston: I’ve heard more than a couple owners tell me that Marques Colston was the 2nd best receiver in Fantasy Football. Now, these owners selected Colston as their 2nd receiver, and of course, the best receiver in the league is the 1st guy they picked. So, in their minds, they have the Top 2 receivers in the league. Not so quick buddy. Colston didn’t do much with his 6 catches against the Colts. 47 yards on 6 grabs gave Marques a whopping 7.8 yards per catch. He didn’t score, either. All in all, I can’t say Colston had a terrible day. 10 points in a PPR and 4 points in a regular format, sometimes even the best receivers have down days. But can these same owners continue to throw Colston 2nd best receiver Cool-Aid at me? I hope not, because it tastes like horse poop, I could even say Colt poop.

Steven Jackson: Everyone’s #2 pick in fantasy drafts everywhere slammed into the Carolina wall on Sunday. Not only did he go next to nowhere with his 18 rushes (58 yards) but Sir Steven fumbled twice, causing major damage to his fantasy owners chances in Week 1. He did have 1 catch for 3 yards… If that rubs any burning acid in your already deep wound. Chalk another player up for the 1 point category. I bet that made owners happy in league’s everywhere.

Lee Evans: It really stuns me that Evans had 2 catches for 5 yards and the Bills still had a chance, (were winning until last 2 seconds) to win this football game. Lee has to do more for his Bills to win. He’s one of the elite players in this league. He did have to go heads up against Champ Bailey and Dre Bly, two guys who will shut down lots of receivers this year, but to be as talented as Lee is and get shut out. I’m not liking it. Bills, take note, give this guy a couple shots.

Deion Branch: 0 catches, 0 yards, 0 points – Sounds like a good reason to trade Darrell Jackson away. Sure, D-Jack may have dropped a TD pass against Arizona, but he also made one hell of a catch to keep the game going for his Niners. What did Branch do? He had a few nice blocks. How many points did you get for those in your fantasy league?

Larry Fitzgerald: Larry Fitz went up against the defensive juggernaut that is San Francisco and took home 2 fantasy points. Matt Leinart didn’t look to his Super Star receiver all that often, ignoring the fact that he got by defensive backs on at least two pass plays. 3 catches for 20 yards isn’t what most expected from this 2nd or 3rd round pick. But sometimes you get tricked. This was one of those times.

Steve McNair: Steve was bad. Not only did McNair get hurt, but he was just brutal prior to his injury. 203 yards passing, 3 fumbles and 1 interception. Lets do that math for those who can’t figure out how McNair finished with a fat 0. 200 yards (8pts) 3 fumbles (-6pts) and one interception (-2pts). Yes, 8-8, in any equation, is 0. This guy has something close to 733 turnovers in his last 2 games. And I thought he could have a decent day in Cincinnati.

Also considered: Cedric Benson (3pts), Mark Clayton (0pts), Braylon Edwards (2pts), Vincent Jackson (2pts), Reggie Brown (1pt), Fred Taylor (1pt), Jamal Lewis (2pts), Maurice Jones Drew (3pts), Vernon Davis (0pts), Daunte Stallworth (1pt) – Nice work guys, two claps for you, too. VD- you get a click-clack.