Fantasy Football Know-It-All
This is Papa Weimer here, and I’ve got to be honest. I’m at my best criticizing a pissy job on Sundays. Yeah, these guys were highly touted by fantasy sports writers everywhere. These guys just didn’t get it done in Week 2, and what do you know, there’s still a Saint on the list. Hopefully you’re not stuck with these fantasy football blisters on your roster, or you are most likely 0-2, or at least 0 for Week 2.
Cincinnati Bengals Defense: This group of clowns allowed the Browns to dominate them to the tune of 51 points. 51… Browns… Derek Anderson and company. Yikes. These guys got -6 points in my fantasy league, last I checked, that’s about as crappy as one defense could possible score. I don’t know what else to say about the Bengals, except, I hope they didn’t lose you your fantasy outing like they did mine. Rex Grossman on his worst day is the only guy I can think of that compares to Cinci this week.
Deuce McAllister: The only problem I have with putting Deuce here, is, he was actually productive in his limited touches against the Buccos. Deuce had 49 yards on 10 carries, and last time I checked, 4.9 yards per carry is a solid number to put next to your name. Well, Deuce fumbled, and he collected a fat 2 fantasy points, good for a 49th place tie for running backs on Sunday. Gross. The Saints need to start feeding McAllister the ball more, if they want to snap out of their 2 game skid, and get back to the kind of offense they were playing last season. Right now, the Saints are nobodies angels.
Alex Smith: For a guy who looked so good in the pre-season, Alex Smith has been brutal to start 2007. I still think Smith could figure it out if the 49ers give him more opportunities, but it looks like San Fran’s coaching staff could ride their running game until they get more confidence in Alex Smith’s ability to make the big throw. His 3 fantasy points in Week 2 were worse than any starting quarterback’s numbers in the entire NFL. Even Josh McCwoen and his 3 interceptions had a better fantasy day than Smith.
Tatum Bell: Bell had one of the worst days for any #1 running back in the league. Tatum carried 9 times for 14 yards, and grabbed 4 balls for 25 yards. Overall, he just couldn’t find room to run against Minnesota’s stellar defense. Bell has the speed and elusiveness to make good use of his touches, but Mike Martz likes to take what the defense gives him, and/or completely ignore the running game from week to week, so Bell might find himself on the tear jerker list every time his Lions play a solid rushing defense.
Maurice Jones Drew: My main man only had 4 fantasy points in Week 2, and still isn’t getting near enough touches on a team where he is definitely the best offensive option. I just flat out don’t get it. Drew only had 3 yards per carry in Week 2, but he needs to get 20 touches a week if the Jags want to stand a chance in their division. Right now, Jacksonville isn’t getting it done, and you should sit Drew until they figure it out, if you have a decent #3 option.
Lee Evans: For the second straight week, Lee collected a mere 2 catches. This time, he one upped himself, and also gathered a fantasy point. The Bills have a tough opening schedule, and it doesn’t get that much easier, but I’d bet it all on Evans doing better from here on out. The Bills haven’t been good at anything to start the season, and I have a feeling that might continue, but they’ll stop playing not to lose here in a week or so, because that’s just not working. When the Bills do realize that they need to take chances to win, Evans once again becomes one of the best receivers in Fantasy Football.
LaDainian Tomlinson: Tomlinson may just about lead my list of Tear Jerkers in fantasy points this week, but those owners who took the face of fantasy football in your drafts have surely felt the repercussions, especially in Week 2. His per carry stats make Reggie Bush look like a stud, and overall, his offense has been pathetic. I think this would be a great time to go out and plunder Tomlinson in fantasy leagues, as he’s done playing the Patriots and Bears for the season. This is still the best fantasy player in the game, maybe even the best player in the league, but he has owners crying in Week 2.
Mark Clayton: Mark has been injured, but playing, and while I feel bad for picking on a gimp, this guy, who I had high hopes for in 2007, had a catch for -1 yard. Dude, save yourself some bad publicity and take a seat on the bench. Not only has Clayton not delivered, but his offense in Baltimore looks like a pile of pooh. I still expect big things from the former Sooner, but right now, he’s a sure thing Tear Jerker.
Rex Gossman: Rex may have accumulated positive points, but he passes no beauty test, that’s for sure, because his game is ugly. This kid looks like he took the summer off from throwing a football, and came back with all his bad traits and none of the good ones. A few more starts like this, and Sexy Rexy is going to be watching Brian Griese from the sidelines.
Also considered; -the rookie WR threesome- Robert Meachem (0 life points), Ted Ginn Jr (0 offensive stats), Dwayne Jarrett (inactive), then Mushin Muhammad (7 yards), Devery Henderson (0 cathes), Donte Stallworth (1pt), Daniel Graham (0pts), Ronnie Brown (6pts), Deshaun Foster (4pts), DeAngelo Williams (3pts) — Well done fells, you couldn’t even do bad enough to win a Tear Jerker, you just get honorable mention for doing nothing worth while.