2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 16

This Week’s Top Team: 87 points? Damn it all to hell, maybe I counted wrong….

QB: Drew Brees: Brees, unfortunately, had no reason to produce much through the air. His running back tandem destroyed the Giants psyche and boosted the Saints into the 2 seed in the NFC. Drew had 9 points.

RB: Ladell Betts: 129 yards and 2 touchdwons for Ladell hooked me up with 25 points, and he ranked 5th amongst runners in Week 16.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson: LT’s had a human day against Seattle, rushing for 120+ and catching a pass for 10 yards. No scores for the TD King though, as LT came out with 13 fantasy points.

WR: Terrell Owens: TO had more drops (3) than catches (2) but his 23 yards and 1 score were good enough for 8 fantasy points. Thanks.

WR: Javon Walker: Javon had 52 yards and a touchdown, a few points better than TO, but not nearly good enough for me to be happy. 11 points for J-Walk.

TE: Antonio Gates: Zero. Rivers looked real bad, as Gates didn’t have a chance to do much. He’s still the best TE in fantasy football, though, as he raked in 67 yards on two grabs. 6 points.

K: Adam Vinitieri: To go along with my teams theme this week, Vini had 6 total points. Yeah!

D: Bears: After drastically underperforming once again, the Bears walked away with 9 fantasy points. Yes!


Matt Hasselbeck: This guy has played real bad of late, hopefully for the Hawks that business stops right quick. Matt had 4 points in a Seattle loss.

Jay Cutler: Jay had 13 points as he threw for 2 TD’s for the 4th straight time since he started for Jake Plummer. Kid’s gonna be money.

Edgerrin James: Edge only had 10, but double figures for the former dreaded one isn’t a bad total this year, he had 105 rushing yards on Sunday.

Ron Dayne: “Even though Indy did a nice job slowing the run against the Bengals, I think they’ll have trouble this week with Dayne. Ron has been running well, so don’t be surprised if he has a nice week at home.” Nice? Try 3rd ranked back in Week 16, try 153 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns. 27 points for the chubby runner.

Anquan Boldin: ‘Quan had 6 whole fantasy points. Not the production I needed, as I lost my Fantasy Super Bowl by 10 points. Of course, the 1 point from Chad Johnson didn’t help me much either.

Marques Colston: The young rook had 34 yards and a score, good for 9 points, not too bad at all.

Algae Crumpler: Crump had 3 points, good for, eh, pretty much nothing…
Indy Colts DST: After an encouraging performance against a surging Bengals squad, the Colts sucked bad against the Texans. Which almost seems impossible. Anyway, 2 points continues to make me look stupid this week.

LUCKY’S Week 16 Moss’S

Jon Kitna: Kitna blew me out of the water, busting out 3 touchdowns against a suddenly suspect secondary in Bear country. 21 points for the slanging Lion.

Deuce McCallister: Well the Giants were in for a long day, because they had no answer for Deuce and Reggie. I was wrong. Not the first time.

Keyshawn Johnson: 2 fantasy points…. It’s nice to be correct from time to time, I’ll tell ya.

Randy Moss: Is this guy still playing football? Haven’t heard anything from him in sometime now. He was out this weekend, and he’ll be out next weekend, and hmmm… will we ever see the great Randy again?

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 15

This Week’s Top Team: Okay, so LT instead of Rudi would have gotten me a monster score, but I’ll take 108 with a terrible defensive performance, 3 points from Chad Johnson, and 0 points from Antonio Gates. A special thanks to Peyton and Frank Gore.

QB: Peyton Manning: Mr. Manning busted out a top quarterback performance, making me smile, and proud, of my firstborn… err… Anyway, he did well, posting 36 points for Ol’ Lucky.

RB: Frank Gore: “Gore loves to torch Seattle… The Niners would love to oust the Hawks, so expect Coach Nolan to let Gore do what he does best. The Hawks don’t tackle well, and Gore runs very hard. That’s a good combo for Gore owners, bad for Seahawk fans.” I was on the money with this one, so I had to reprint it. #4 running back, with 23 points.

RB: Rudi Johnson: Rudi did alright, but the Colts pretty much did a damn good job against the Bengals offense. Rudi was 4 yards shy of 100 yards from scrimmage, and his 2nd quarter touchdown gave him 14 fantasy points on the night.

WR: Terrell Owens: 5 catches for 69 yards and a touchdown. Not bad for a pussy who spits in people’s faces. Haha. To was 3rd in the receiver category with 18 points.

WR: Chad Johnson: Chad had really cool shoes in warm ups, and that was about it. Like Sampson after his hair was snipped, Chad played poorly without his shoes. 3 points.

TE: Antonio Gates: Nothing for Gates, but what can ya do? The cat is still the best TE in the game.

K: Jeff Wilkins: Jeff had two field goals and 2 extra points as the rams ousted the Raiders. 8 points for Jeff.

D: Bears: 6 points. Against the Bucs. Pull your heads out fellas.


Matt Hasselbeck: Matt had 10 points and the rest of the Hawks, sans Julian Peterson, looked absolutely terrible.

Jay Cutler: Jay through up his gloves and brought it in the head to head match up with the man picked just in front of him. That’s has to feel nice. Jay made me look real good, posting 21 fantasy points, throwing for 2 touchdowns for the 3rd straight time in his career.

Ahman Green: Ahman had 120+ total yards from scrimmage, and broke out 11 points in his contest this week. I have to say, he was a good sleeper here.

Maurice Drew: Mo got his touches, 28 from scrimmage, and he produced, 145 total yards, and a touchdown. The yards per carry wasn’t where I thought it’d be, but you can’t argue with the production, 19 fantasy big ones.

Javon Walker: “Walker hasn’t benefited from Jay Cutler’s move to starter yet, but this week might be another story, as Shanahan has to be emphasizing getting his biggest offensive playmaker the ball.” Walkers deep touchdown catch got me a couple extra points, and J-Walk finished in the top 5 with 16 points.

Larry Fitzgerald: Larry couldn’t find the endzone against Champ Bailey and the rest of the Broncos, but he didn’t leave without points, as he had 77 yards receiving on the night.

Vernon Davis: Davis only had 15 yards receiving, but his touchdown grab made him a Top 5 tight end.

St. Louis Rams DST: The Rams made me look like a genius. I picked them up in my fantasy playoffs and sure enough, they produced 34 fantasy points. Brilliant. Championships here I come!

LUCKY’S Week 15 Moss’S

Brad Johnson: “This guy isn’t a good starting option. Don’t start him. I’d rather start Chris Weinke. What does that tell you?” Apparently, the Vikings finally realized this after this weekend’s contest, as the young rookie, Mr. Jackson, will get the nod in Week 16. And he’ll be a sleeper candidate.

Travis Henry: 12 carries for 37 yards and no scores. Well, I’m getting pretty good at these crafty Moss’S.

Lee Evans: I was wrong, Lee had a good day for the Bills, grabbing 3 balls and making the most out of them, averaging more than 20 yards a catch and scoring 1 touchdown.

Randy Moss: Did he play? I wouldn’t know. I know he didn’t do much offensively, but then again, his heart probably wasn’t in it this game, Oakland’s bad.

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 14

This Week’s Top Team: “I want 150! I want it, I want it. Like Jessica Simpson wants high def, I want this.” 157 my people, finally busted out the 150 mark… This is how I did it, with Mr. Brees leading the way.

QB: Drew Brees: My main fantasy point slanging man broke down some barriers this week against Dallas, as he outperformed the 2nd highest scoring QB by 15 points. How many did Drew accumulate? 45. Championship!

RB: Ladell Betts: Betts finished with 171 rushing yards, and couldn’t’ even touch the Top 10 this week. What a day for running backs. Betts took me home 18 fantasy points, which is close to what I expected from him. A score would have been nice, but honestly, picky freaking picky.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson: “The Broncos struggle with All World guys, as it seems to crush their spirits. LT is a SpiritCrusher!” Actually, until the last moments of the game, LT was having a relatively normal RB outing. And then he scored two touchdowns in a couple minutes, giving him 28 fantasy points, and the season touchdown record with 3 more games to go.

WR: Terrell Owens: TO is struggling, but luckily, struggling for this extremely talented donkey comes in the form of 56 yards and a score, good enough for 11 fantasy points. Nice drop on that bomb though.

WR: Darrell Jackson: “But it you want flat out consistency in points from the receiver spot, there’s not a better cat in the league than Jackson.” Jack wasn’t the dominate force, but his 60 yards and a score gave him 12 points, which happens to be very consistent.

TE: Antonio Gates: “Best tight end in the league, bar none. Gotta take him here.” Somehow (7 catches, 104 yards, 2 scores… maybe?) Gates etched out the best week by a tight end. Weird. 22 points for the big fella.

K: Josh Brown: I’d curse the Hawks for not giving Josh a chance, but hell, my normal kicker put up -1, so 3 points here doesn’t look as bad all of a sudden.

D: Bengals: Not the 25+ points I was looking for, but Cincinnati haulted the Raiders (no problem) stacking up 18 fantasy points for good Ol’ Lucky.


Jake Delhomme and Tony Romo: Jake didn’t play, and Tony had a terrible day. Romo’s touchdown was a sure interception that slipped through the defender. As good as I was with my main picks, I was that bad with these two sleeper hopefuls. 11 for Tony, and DNP for Jake.

Alex Smith: Smith only had 10 fantasy points, and basically couldn’t get it done for his squad of marry men. His 48% completion rate and 2 interceptions were like daggers in the hearts of Niner fans. Mine too.

Steven Jackson: Steven Jackson won my fantasy playoff game for me, his 25 points on 81 rushing yards, and 58 receiving yards, plus a score in both category, pushed me over the top. Good man, that Stee-Jack.

Maurice Drew: “Mo is the most explosive player on the Jaguars’ squad. He has to get more touches in the biggest game of Jacksonville’s season. Touches are all this youngster needs to show people what he’s all about.” Okay, can I call these big days from backs or what? Mo only had 15 carries, but he took them for 166 yards and two touchdowns. He had 15 yards receiving on one catch, and he took a kickoff return 93 yards to the house. That was good for 35 fantasy points in my league that also awards 6 for a return score. Yeehaw!

Javon Walker: 5 points for J-Walk, besides my running backs and defensive sleepers, J Walk had a pretty nice game for this group.

Matt Jones: Nothing. As the Jaguar running game dominated, Matt had a couple nice blocks. No points for those, though.

Ben Watson: Benny caught on to my sleeper sickness, scoring 0 points for the Pats, who got blanked by the Dolphins 21-0.

Chicago Bears DST: 19 points, but as a defense, they weren’t Bear-like at all. Thanks to Devin Hester’s two return touchdowns, though, Chicago once again finished as a top 5 defense in Week 14.

LUCKY’S Week 14 Moss’S

Brad Johnson: Brad was lucky he got the call on a short goal-line touchdown run, because other than the 6 points he got for the rushing score in my league, his passing totals only gave him 5 fantasy points. 11 total for Brutal Brad.

Joseph Addai: 11 carries, 22 yards. Is that good? Don’t ask Edgerrin James in Arizona, he’ll call that shizzy average.

Eddie Kennisson: EK-G needed and EKG this week, as his 13 yards on one catch might have helped end the Chiefs run at a playoff spot.

Randy Moss: Randy’s ankle hurts after his 1 fantasy point performance. An ouchie per point, not bad for Mr. Moss himself.

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 12

This Week’s Top Team: 117 points, not 140, but not too shabby either. Needed a big defensive day, and I got the Panthers. A loss to the Redskins of all teams. Expect a big fantasy point day next week.

QB: Tony Romo: A huge day, 300 yards+ through the air, and 5 touchdown passes in a Thanks Giving feast. 32 points for ToRo. #1 quarterback by 5 points over the next guy (Vince Young).

RB: Larry Johnson: LJ stuck it to the Broncos, slanging up 157 rushing yards and a touchdown in Jake Plummer’s last game as a starting Bronco, assuming there’s not going to be an injury to Jay Cutler. Anyway, bye Jake, and LJ, thanks for 21 points, and a 6th running back ranking for Week 12.

RB: Brian Westbrook: “I know the Eagles will have a tough time against Indy, but Westy will get the most carries in the 1st half that he’s had all season.” Westbrook had 124 yards rushing, 46 yards receiving, and a touchdown for Philly. He’s dang good, good for 4th running back overall this week, and 22 fantasy points.

WR: Terrell Owens: TO had a solid day in the Cowboys victory, tallying 107 yards and a touchdown good for 16 fantasy points, and a tie for 6th in the WR rankings this week.

WR: Braylon Edwards: Edwards struggled, then ran his mouth, then got 29 fantasy points, errr, yards, to stick out like a sore thumb on my roster this week. Thanks for 2 BE.

TE: Kellen Winslow: Captain Winslow had 52 yards and 5 fantasy points. Not too shabby, but not even in the top 10 for this struggling position.

K: Jeff Wilkins: Thanks Jeff, now I can stick with you. Jeff put up 10 points, good for a tie for 4th in the kicker ratings.

D: Panthers: Damn Panthers. They picked up 9 fantasy points, but God knows they should get 0. I knew I should have taken the Ravens (lets see 45 or 9?). Dang. 9.


Jake Delhomme: Jakey has struggle all year. The struggles continued on Sunday. Luckily for him, his back up is Chris Weinke, or he might have the same feeling in his gut as Jake Plummer, Kerry Collins, Drew Bledsoe, and Kurt Warner. Wait, what the hell is Kerry Collins’ name doing in there. Nobody feels like him, I’m sure. Anyway, Jake had 6. F

David Carr: I like what Carr did on Sunday. Kid didn’t have a running game, so he just through the rock. To the tune of 321 yards and a score, David busted out 17 fantasy points. A

Marion Barber: This back up had 20 fantasy points, 83 yards, and two scores. Yeah buddy. Nice day. Tied for 7th among RBs. A

Maurice Drew: This rookie back-up busted out 78 yards on 8 carries, and 47 yards on 5 catches. And a score. If the Jaguars want to win, they’ll find more ways to get Drew Drop the ball. 17 points. A

Arnaz Battle: 36 yards, a fumble… a point. Nice. F

Michael Jenkins: Two catches, 6 yards. Z

Owen Daniels: OD had 34 yards, good for a little more than nothing, and 18th overall in TE rankings.

San Diego Chargers DST: Dang, a point off of my prediction. The Chargers rated out as the 4th best defense with 19 fantasy points.

LUCKY’S Week 12 Moss’S

Aaron Brooks: 9 points for Brooks isn’t what anyone wanted when they started him this week, but that’s not as bad as I thought he’d do. He’s still a Moss, though.

Edgerrin James: 4 carries, 15 yards. Well, on the bright side, that’s probably his best YPC average of the season. Don’t make me change this to the James’.

Eddie Kennison: 1 catch, 16 yards. Nice Ed.

Randy Moss: 3 catches. 26 yards, that’s why these are the Moss’S. Randy needs to move towns or something, dude looks like he’s chillin’ out there. I still think he has as much talent as any receiver in the game. He’d be filthy on the Patriots, Broncos, Ravens, Packers… My good God, if Moss and Brett hooked up, shit would be crazy. I’d change the name of this area for sure. Only 62 guys in the WR spot scored more than Randy this week. Not bad, puts Kennison to shame. At least he registered a point, ughm… Michael Jenkins.

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 11

This Week’s Top Team: Lookin’ Bad. How’d I do? The points say, 80 something, I stopped counting at my donkey 0 point having kicker whose supposed to be my MVP!

QB: Carson Palmer: Carson blew up on Sunday, taking down the Saints with a little help from his number-named friend at the WR slot. Palmer’s 3 touchdowns and 275 yards passing had him good for 3rd in the QB list, with 27 fantasy points.

RB: Thomas Jones: TJ had a nice game, but like many of my other picks, he couldn’t find the end zone, so his 120 yards were only good for 12 fantasy points.

RB: Brian Westbrook: Westy had 140+ total yards without a score, good for 14 points, unless you were in a reception league, then Westy broke out another 12 for you. Either way, not a bad game for the man whose going to be the focal point of the offense for the rest of the season. Or as long as he can stay healthy.

WR: Terrell Owens: TO had 4 catches, but couldn’t find the end zone on any of them, and only carried them for 70 yards. Good for, or bad for, 7 fantasy points.

WR: Steve Smith: S-Squared had a nice game, 90 yards after 4 catches and a touchdown. Stevey ranked out it he Top 10, good for 15 points on Sunday.

TE: Kellen Winslow: KWII only dug in for 3 fantasy points after catching 4 balls for 36 yards in a losing effort against the Steelers. Thanks soldier!

K: Jeff Wilkins: Zero? No fantasy points, not even one. Gross. Jeff, I know it’s not your fault, but kick the ball at your teammates next week in practice, or I’m not picking you again.

D: Eagles: The Eagles could only manage 7 points, and unlike the offensive unit, they can’t blame their struggles on Donovan McNabb’s injury, so this performance was gross.


Tony Romo: Romo didn’t do much, he won the game for his squad, and all the intangibles were there, but the fantasy production was notta, 5 points. F

Charlie Frye: Charlie Brown got screwed out of a win over the Steelers, but maybe if he had more than 8 fantasy points, the football gods would have pushed the Brownies over the edge. Too bad for me, and my mand Charles. F

Julius Jones: JJ had 90+ total yards, but didn’t’ score once again, as Marion Barber got all the goal line touches, and ended up with 2 scores on 35 yards. Jones gets a raw deal on the goal line, no joke about that. C

Frank Gore: Can you say 212 yards and 26 yards receiving? Sure, Gore’s yardage totals without a touchdown are amazing, and his fumble wasn’t sweet, but Frank carried the 49ers in a huge win over Seattle. A

Laveraneus Coles: Coles went for 80 yards on 8 catches, but was held without a score once again. 8 points. C

Donald Driver: DD’s 44 yards made me a little sick to my stomach about almost every single one of my picks in my sleepers’ column. Besides Frank of course. Kid had a game! F

Jeremy Stevens: Jeremy needs to stop abusing women and start catching some footballs during the week. Didn’t register a point, very similar to the kicker in my starting lineup. F

Buffalo Bills DST: Only 8 points against the Texans, freaking yucky! D

LUCKY’S Week 11 Moss’S

Mike Vick: Mike had 16 fantasy points in a losing effort against the Ravens, but his 16 fantasy points made him a fantasy average player, not a Randy little moss bag.

Warrick Dunn: WD40 had 5 fantasy points. Told ya so.

Santana Moss: Moss didn’t play.

Randy Moss: Randy moss might as well have not played. And on the week when the wussies was renamed after him, what a good guy for being a good sport about it.

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 10

This Week’s Top Team: 104 points… Not my best week! Week 11 will be better, guaranteed!

QB: Donovan McNabb: Donovan didn’t get the totals I was looking for, but his 15 fantasy points were decent enough I guess.

RB: Larry Johnson: LJ just didn’t get enough touches, 18 carries, 2 receptions, for the Chiefs to win, and for him to compete with LT for this weeks top RB. LJ still had a TD and nearly 90 total yards for 14 fantasy points.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson: LT showed the Bengals how the legs of one man can move mountains. LT busted out for 4 touchdowns, 104 yards, and 54 yards receiving. Championship! LT was the top fantasy performer in Week 10. 39 points.

WR: Terrell Owens: To had 96 yards and a touchdown, I like what I see from this guy, he seems to be rolling with Romo quite nicely. 15 points.

WR: Anquan Boldin: Even with Fitz back in the playbook, Boldin had another ho hum game, collecting 5 fantasy points, and that’s it.

TE: Desmond Clark: Clark had 1 catch for only 2 yards, but when that catch is a touchdown, that means Clark was in the Top 10 for TE’s in week 10. 6 points. Wow this is a week position.

K: Neil Rackers: One field goal and one extra point. Thanks for stepping up Neil… My god. 4 whole points. I should have stuck with Wilkins, he had 10.

D: Ravens: The Ravens had only 6 points, while the Bears busted out for 22 big ones against the Giants. Whoops!


Tony Romo: ToRo had 24 points, good for 7th overall, not a bad job for a guy who wasn’t even picked in fantasy football drafts all over the globe. A

David Garrard: David broke me down, and flat out got screwed in the stat sheet because of his teammates. At least 2 of his picks were easy catches that bounced off his teammates’ hands and turned into picks. But David’s fantasy score gave me an F!

Steven Jackson: Steven Jackson finished 4th in this weeks rankings, right behind LT, Fast Willie Parker, and Frank Gore, but he almost single handily won the game for his Rams, carrying 100 guys into the end zone for the go ahead score. They lost via a Josh Brown field goal, but SteJack doesn’t play defense, tough to blame him. 19 fantasy points gave me an A here.

Frank Gore: As mentioned earlier, Frank Gore was 3rd overall, rolling for 159 yards and a score on route to 22 fantasy points. A

Tim Carter: I don’t think this panned out. Carter didn’t make the top 60, so I won’t even look any farther. I’ll just take the F.

Lee Evans: Lee only had 5 catches for 70 yards, big fat average. C

Jason Witten: Witten posted 5 catches for 58 yards and a spot in the top 10 this week with 5 points. B

Jaguars DST: The Jags defense had only 9 fantasy points, which puts them in the lower half of the league. However, even though 9 wasn’t in the bottom 10, I’m still taking an F because they lost to the damn Texans.


Brett Favre: Brett blew up the Vikes, making me look like a dumby for putting one of the toughest signal callers of all time in my wussies section. Never happen again Mr. Favre.

Edgerrin James: Edge had 15 carries for 68 yards, his most productive yards per carry average this season. Gross. He still fumbled, how’s 5 fantasy points for your number one pick?

Plaxico Burress: 4 points for Plax…. Nice job killer. Way to let them Bears know how bad they are!

Randy Moss: Randy against Champ. Randy 1 catch for 8 yards, the Champ = Last Laugh. Here’s laughing at you Mosster Mash.

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 9

This Week’s Top Team: I couldn’t quite get to 150, but 144 isn’t too shabby either… This is how I broke down the 14 barrier…

QB: Peyton Manning: Peyton piled up the yards against the Patriots on route to a huge win over New England on Sunday Night Football. With 2 touchdowns passes and over 300 yards, Peyton was 4th in the league with 23 fantasy points this week.

RB: Larry Johnson: Larry matched LT’s yardage totals, rushing for 172, but his single score brought his total to 23 fantasy points, good for 5t amongst all running backs in Week 9.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson: LT busted out as the number 1 fantasy scorer in the running back class. His 172 yards and 3 touchdowns made me a happy man to the tune of 37 fantasy points.

WR: Terrell Owens: Romo’s gonna start yelling at TO if he continues to drop huge game winning plays like he has the last couple weeks. 2 weeks ago it was a 4th down play that TO let slip, and this week, a 70 yard touchdown bomb right on the money broke through Owen’s grasp. But TO got his points, scoring 13 (76 yards and a score) good for 13 fantasy points, and a Top 10 ranking.

WR: Marvin Harrison: “This game will be seen everywhere, and Marvin always produces in these situations.” What can I say, Marvin is a prime time performer. Did you see his catch in the endzone, the one handed stab, and the tight rope balancing act? 8 catches, 2 touchdowns, 145 yards, Marvin was the 2nd highest point scorer, busting out with 26 fantasy points.

TE: Algae Crumpler: Crumps had 47 yards and a touchdown, good for 10 fantasy points, and 4th overall in the race for this week’s top tight end. I’ll take 10 from a TE any week.

K: Jeff Wilkins: Jeff had 1 field goal (41 yards) and 2 extra points, which could very well get him the boot for next weeks game against the Hawks. 6 points.

D: Bears: Wow.. Chicago got run by Joey and the Dolphins… I must admit, I had a hunch something like this would happen sooner or later to the Bears… But I didn’t think sooner… 6 measly fantasy points put me in a defensive rut.


Rexxy Grossman: Ugh… 6 fantasy points… F!

Tony Romo: Romo balled this week, even tought TO dropped a 70 yard touchdown pass, and the Cowboys got upset by the Redskins in Washington. Romo tied Peyton for the 4th highest total by a QB, rolling 23 in the loss. A+

Laurence Maroney: LoMo didn’t do much, fantasy-wise, but it wasn’t his fault. With his 13 carries, he piled up 67 yards, and instead of just smashing Mo and Dillon into the Colts bad run defense, Bellichick and the Patriots apparently didn’t want to win, so they just kept on passing. Mo had 6 points… Warranting a D

Jerious Norwood: Jerious got 5 carries for 34 yards… That’s a 6.8 yard per carry average. Hey, Falcons, give this cat the damn ball. He’s been money when given more than 8 carries a game. He’s bound to break a run or two out of 10. Or you can keep feeding Dunn… D

Antonio Bryant: Antonio Bryant only had 2 catches in the Niner win over the suddenly horrendous Minnesota Vikings on Sunday. 24 yards just doesn’t get the job done. F!

Lee Evans: Lee only had 2 catches, but one went for a long touchdown and a game clincher at that, against the Packers. Evans needs about 15 touches a game, he’s the best thing the Bills have going. 11 points, not too bad, I’ll take a… B

Ben Watson: Last week everyone got the ball against Minnesota, but Reche was featured. This week, Ben Watson will be needed, his game breaking ability against a sub par defensive front, and hurting safeties. Watson is a match-up nightmare for the Colts, Bill Bellichick knows how to take advantage of things like that.

Jaguars DST: The Jags defense knows they have to step it up with their offense’s struggles. They’ll put the heat on Vince Young and the Titans rushing attack.


Ben Roethlisberger: BIG Ben had 433 yards passing, but his 3 interceptions killed his Steelers as Denver kept on rolling in Pittsburgh. Benny bounced to 17 fantasy points on the week, which was a Top 10 performance, but I’m not completely wrong here, as his 3 picks eliminated the defending champs from the playoffs this year.

Rudi Johnson: Rudi wants more carries? Well he got 18, and he did the best he could with them. Against Baltimore, this cat had 77 yards and a touchdown. WHAT was I thinking putting the league’s toughest guy on the Wussy list?

Hines Ward: Hines had a nice game, massive yards, 127, but a fumble late broke the Steelers’ back, and brought Ward’s totals down to 10 in Week 9.

Randy McMichael: Bears. Joey Harrington. 1-7…. You got anything else to throw on this fire?

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 8

This Week’s Top Team: “The way I see it, this is the fastest way to 140 fantasy points.” Well, I got 145 points, thank you L- T&J…

QB: Matt Leinart: God I’m stupid. I don’t know what I was on writing this pick… 8 fantasy points for Matt and he played like a pile of poop.

RB: Larry Johnson: 155 yards rushing, 27 receiving yards, and 4 total touchdowns. Go ahead and notch that up as 41 fantasy points. Championship!

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson: Not to be outdone by the other top running back in the NFL, LT produced just as many points as LJ. 240 combined yards, and 3 touchdowns.

WR: Terrell Owens: TO had a nice game, 107 yards and a 2pt conversion for a 12 point game at WR. Not too shabby, just not game-breaking by any means.

WR: Anquan Boldin: Boldin’s 40 yards didn’t impress me. Wish I would have taken Reggie Wayne at this spot? 4 points is not good.

TE: Kellen Winslow: Kellen had 13 fantasy points, which, coming from a tight end other than Antonio Gates is a success.

K: Jeff Wilkins: Jeff Wilkins had a field goal and 3 PATS for a fat 6 points.

D: Pittsburgh: Pitt plays Oakland. 20 points! 6 sacks and an interception. The Steelers, however, lost like a bunch of chumps anyway.


Rexxy Grossman: 252 yards and 3 touchdowns, this week Rexxy was definitely bringing sexy back to the bears offensive attack. A

Travis Henry: Do I smell Travis’ second straight 150 yard+ week in a row? You bet your ass I did…. However, with my senses as off as they were this weekend, what I thought was a flowery aroma ended up wreaking of dog poop. 29 yards, 2 points. F

Tatum Bell: Apparently, Tatum Bell has turf toe in both feet. I have a feeling, Mike Shanahan gave Tatum smaller shoes so he’d struggle, and his horse Mike could take the job. Whatever happened, the Bronco’s running game blew up, but Tatum only acquired 2 points this Sunday. F

Reggie Williams: Where oh where has the Reggie gone? He’s disappeared into the type of production that had deemed him a bust for the first two years of his career. Enigma, or QB challenged wide receiver? Either way, 1 fantasy point makes me look bad. F

Keyshawn Johnson: Rolling right along with my “very bad to listen to Lucky” weekend, Keysh could only manage 1 fantasy point after catching one pass, on way to helping his Panthers get whomped by the Cowboys. F

Heath Miller: 2 catches this time, but still only 10 yards, giving me yet another pass catcher with 1 point. Crapper. F

Saints DST: I’m not even going to look up the point total, I watched the game, and I can tell you right now that the Saints didn’t do jack shit on defense, and they gave me 3 points. I’ll take yet another F, what the hell?


Steve McNair and Brad Johnson: McNair had a stellar day, while Johnson had just about the worst day of his entire career. So I guess I’ll take a C here.

Cadillac Williams: Caddy did very little, just as I had suspected. 5 points from a starting running back is wussy-ish, no doubt about that. 20 rushing 34 receiving, sounds like a Reggie Bush kind of effort. A

Marvin Harrison: Marvin took one for the team on Sunday Night. Harrison demanded Champ Bailey in coverage, leaving Reggie Wayne matched up against a youngster on the other side. Harrison struggled to get 3 fantasy points, while Reggie Wayne had 3 TD’s. A

Algae Crumpler: Crump had another big day in the ATL, taking the rock 4 times out of Vick’s hands for 72 yards and a score. 13 points from a tight end is dinomite. So I’ll roll an F here.

All in all, boy am I glad this week is over.

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 7

This Week’s Top Team: Wow… tough week for my fantasy squad, I hope you forgot to read Week 7’s articles and did better than I did. I did tally 98 points for my squad.

QB: Brett Favre: Brett was no Peyton, Donovan, or Vick, who all went for over 30 fantasy points, but he did manage 19 points with a 200 yard 2 touchdown performance on Sunday.

RB: Kevin Jones: KJ rolled with 19 fantasy points, scoring one touchdown on 57 yards receiving, also tallying 86 yards on the ground with a 5.7 ypc average. Not bad for a Lion.

RB: Clinton Portis: CP struggled because the Redskins tumbled after half time. His 43 rushing yards and 21 receiving yards got me 6 points. But he didn’t have a TD and rarely saw the field after the 3rd quarter.

WR: Plaxico Burress: Burress only grabbed two balls in Monday Night’s beatdown on the Cowboys, but he made the most of them. He racked up 94 yards and a touchdown on way to 17 points for my fantasy squad. Picking up the slack.

WR: Anquan Boldin: Boldin’s 59 yards didn’t make me smile, but I can’t blame the guy. It’s not like he was dropping passes. However, I can blame myself for picking AB as my top WR of the week. Damn. 5 points.

TE: Randy McMichael: Another nice day from Randy Mac hit me up for 7 points on 77 receiving yards. Not bad, but Randy, get Joey to see you in the end zone for God’s sake.

K: John Kasey: 2 extra points… Damn I can’t wait for Wilkins to get back on my squad.

D: Broncos: Thank goodness for the Broncos. IF it weren’t for a last second touchdown by the Browns, a shut out would have really impressed me. However, they were the 2nd ranked defense this week with 23 fantasy points.


Joey Harrington: Joey had 3 picks, but his fantasy stat line was freaking baler. 414 yards and two touchdowns was good for 24 fantasy points, Top 10 in the league. A+

Chester Taylor: Chester had a day. Actually, he didn’t do much until his 95 yard touchdown run, but then again, he had a 95 yard touchdown run, so he didn’t need to do much. His TD gave him 23 fantasy point, ranking him 4th in the RB rankings. A+

Dominic Rhodes: Even Edgerrin James had a better YPC average than Rhodes on Sunday. I wonder what Nic’s yardage totals would look like if he was on the Cards? Same goes for Edge on the Colts. F

Greg Jennings: 1 catch for 14 yards… Ouch… Maurice Clarett almost had that many points. Jennings got hurt, but wow, look at my luck this week. F

Matt Jones: The Great White Hype didn’t play, again. But had he played he wouldn’t have done dick because the Jaguars were terrible on Sunday. F

Ben Watson: Ben had 60 yards, but was held scoreless once again as I only collected 6 points with this sleeper. C

Steelers DST: Ran all over by Atlanta, and Vick of all people had 4 touchdown passes. To say the least, the Steelers had 5 points and didn’t’ work out for me. F


Brad Johnson: Brad didn’t do much, but then again, he never does. His 12 points were average, but I hope you had a better option on Sunday.

Reuben Droughns: It’s never good when you’re a starting running back and you don’t register on the first page of high scores for RB’s. More than 30 guys had a better day at the RB position. I’d say I made a good call here.

Hines Ward: HAHAHAHA! What an idiot I look like here. Ward would have single handily taken out my fantasy team this week. Hines was no wussie, he was a flat out stud!

Jeremy Shockey: Don’t bet on Jeremy in prime time. Shockey, though its amazing with his ridiculously loud personality, always manages to struggle in the spotlight. His words about Bill Parcells a year ago will have him interviewed and questioned all week. That won’t help him. Don’t expect much from the U’s biggest fan.

2006 Fantasy Football Review – Week 6

This Week’s Top Team: What a week. I went straight Rambo-style racking it up (130) fantasy points on the afternoon.

QB: Rex Grossman: Minus 8 points… My good lord. I can’t believe my quarterback had negative points, freaking 8 of them, and I still scored 130. Amazing.

RB: Clinton Portis: Clinton’s 58 yards rushing weren’t as many as I figured, but his 2 scores, and 17 yards receiving added to the yards slammed me 18 fantasy points on the afternoon.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson: Mr. (L) T – In all his glory, not only brought me loads of points, but an absolutely brilliant victory in my fantasy league. Championships are built on stuff like this. LT smashed around for 4 touchdowns against the 49ers. With 71 rushing and 64 receiving, plus those 4 scores, LT snaked me 37 big fantasy smackers.

WR: Terrell Owens: Only to be outdone by LT in the touchdown book of Week 6, TO snagged 3 touchdowns. Total, he caught 4 balls for 45 yards, but those touchdowns bring in the fantasy points. 22 points for me.

WR: Laveranues Coles: Master Vernes also came to play on Sunday, tallying 105 yards on 5 catches. Did I mention the 2 touchdowns? Ah yes, 2 scores, and one was 58 yards, which gives me a two point bonus. 22 + 2 = 24 fantasy big ones.

TE: Antonio Gates: Mr. Gates is finally coming to play. With another score today, and 78 yards from the TE spot, Gates brought me home 13 fantasy points.

K: Jeff Wilkins: The Hawks allowed nothing but scores, and for the first time, a low scoring game out of my Fantasy Hero brought me tumbling down in my Dynast league. The 4 points here didn’t help either.

D: Broncos: Allowing only 3 points and 244 total yards, with an interception a fumble recovery and 4 sacks, those pesky Broncos rolled in a grand total of 20 fantasy points. Making them the 4th Sunday position with 20 points or more. Yeehaw!


Joey Harrington: So, as a stop gap, you have to admit, I was right about Joey. He had 2 picks, but, His 266 yards passing and one touchdown in the air looked a lot better than Andrew Walter’s stats. 12 fantasy points – Gotta get a “B”.

Tatum Bell: Finally, as I predicted, Mr. Bell had a touchdown on Sunday Night, his first of the season. With 83 yards on the ground, and 11 receiving yards, Mr. Bell totaled me 15 fantasy points. I’ll take another “B”.

Julius Jones: Julius had the better yardage total, but the fact that he didn’t score made him a worse play than his backup, Marion Barber. That being said, I still had 10 points from the guy. I’ll take a “C”.

Michael Turner: Flunk me here. All the rushes went to LaDainian, as Turner didn’t see much time on the field. I took an “F”!!!

Lee Evans: Evans had a decent game. 8 receptions for 82 yards got me 8 fantasy points. However, the Bills lost to the freaking Lions, giving me a big fat loss on my bet sheet. “C”.

Jericho Cotchery: 6 damn yards? Damn it all to hell! “F”!!!

Jeremy Stevens: Fantasy Points? What are those? Stevens has no idea. I get an “F”!

Redskins DST: I don’t even care how many points the Skins scored, I’m not even going to check, what I do know is they lost to the Titans. What does that mean? I get another F!!!


Jake Delhomme: Jakey was no wussy against the Ravens. Baltimore got their 2nd straight loss, and Jakey went for 365 yards and 2 scores. Take away 4 point for two picks, and Jake hit up the 18 point mark in Week 6.

Larry Johnson: Would you say LJ struggled? He scored once, but 26 yards rushing and 6 yards receiving aren’t Larry numbers. 8 fantasy points from a number 1 pick is wussy-royal!

Santana Moss: Moss only had 50 yards receiving, but his 33 rushing yards pushed him out of Wussy status right into the mediocre “I wouldn’t chose to start him but if I did, he didn’t lose me the game” label.

Rudi Johnson: 52 yards on 17 carries, no scores, no receiving yards. The “Toughest guy in the league” had a fantasy wussy day. 2 out of 4 ain’t bad! I’d be a millinaire on the baseball diamond!