Category Archives: Fantasy Football Q&A

Fantasy Football questions and answers by Papa Weimer. Every week people send in questions regarding their fantasy football teams and leagues and LuckyLester.com provides answers and fantasy football advice.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 13

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Alright, you guys know the gig, e-mail me your questions and I’ll answer them. If I think any are worth sharing in that special kind of sharing way, I’ll post them up on the site in this question and answer section. For this week, I hope you enjoy the show…

Billy Hoyle from NoCal asks, “I know I could have probably looked it up, but that’s not as much fun. I’ve asked you lots of questions, and your answers have always been useful and entertaining – so, without further ado, can you please explain to me what the hell a Turdunkan is? “

WITHOUT looking it up, I will do my best to give you my version of a freakish Thanksgiving extravaganza that can only really be correctly described by someone crazy enough to be as successful and obviously inept as one John Madden. Here goes nothing Billy Hoyle. A Turdunkan is a mixture of three birds, but more of a lego creation than an actual mix. See, a Turdunkan consists of a Turkey, a Duck, and a Chicken – but not just pieces, all three birds mooshed together. Better yet, mooshed inside one another. You have the turkey on the outside, the chicken inside the turkey, and the duck inside the chicken – unless of course you get organic chicken, in which case you probably have to breast the duck to fit it in the chicken. There is stuffing in the Turkey and likely the chicken as well, and I’m sure the bird sauce combines to make one hell of a gravy starter – but all in all, this is a de-feathered fluster of bird that is bound to make you feel like you’re delivering a baby while preparing the damn thing. I’d eat one, but creating seems unlikely. I say do it all big guy, but deep fry them in a giant vat of oil. Not frozen thought, that creates bombs.

Jessi Harrison yells, “I HATE THE LIONS!!! Isn’t it time to throw this “tradition” under the freaking bus? Tell me one good reason the good public should be forced to watch these kittens play!”

Jessi, if you so insist – here’s 4 good reasons to watch that terrible team. Everyone should watch the Lions play on Sunday to further their respect for their own team. That’s right – if you think your team is struggling Seahawk fan, Rams fan, 49er, Texans fan, and even Raider fan (just barely), set your eyes on the Lions against the Titans and laugh it up, point and cackle, because after a good Lion game, you’ll feel like Matt Schaub and company are on the verge of Super Bowl stardom. How about History? That’s reason two. This team isn’t going to win a game. I don’t care what anybody says. It’s not likely to happen, why? They are the worst team in the NFL, by far. I know history suggests a win is on the way, but can history take into account the fact that almost every team is pretty solid, except the freaking Lions? No it can’t. History forgets that fact. The ghost of Barry Sanders. I don’t think anybody would admit to this, but until Barry takes over this team, or Barry releases his ghostly powers over the Lions organization, they are damned to failure. So follow him, and hate them as best you can. If those reasons aren’t enough, how about Calvin Johnson. Talk about a guy that has it all. Every team in the league knows who is getting the ball – but Calvin still gets it. Sure, he got screwed when the Lions took him #2, but he’s rich now, and gets to catch footballs for a nice living – don’t feel too bad for him.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 12

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Here’s a couple people that gave thanks on Monday morning….

Red-Red Ryan wrote, “The picture of me as Bo Jackson is hilarious by the way, but it didn’t help me from getting beat by 40 points in one of my leagues, but I was money in the other two and I needed them bad. So Thanks big guy, thanks a lot. Red knows Red!”

Nice.

Alice writes, “Well I would have started Addai and Slaton (kind of worried about Dallas’s offense) without you, so your change to Slaton and Barber actually lost me 4 fantasy points – though all three had very good days. I also would have started Calvin Johnson, Andre Johnson, and Brandon Marshall – so your trade of Jericho for Calvin actually lost me a single point. However, I did win anyway as all my guys had big days (except Andre Johnson). I don’t owe you a date or any hot scandalous pictures or anything – but you’re still alright with me. I’ll have more for you later in the week.”

Good deal. In a non-PPR league I think I would have helped you out. I’m glad you won anyway. I still love you.

Johnny 6 thanks me, “Thank you, I won by 5, DeAngelo has a much better day than AP, and the unprecidented move of AP to the bench made me a happy camper.”

You bet. Me too.

And now for the questions for Week 12…

Julian not Peterson writes, “I’m a Hawks fan, and a huskies fan for that matter, so you can see that my season is basically in shambles – but a 26-20 loss to the Cards has me hoping for us to play great football and lose the rest of the way. I am in the playoffs in my fantasy league and have a chance to pick up either Deion Branch, Bobby Engram, or Donnie Avery – the Hawks should be throwing a lot, which way would you go? Also, if the Hawks continue to lose out, and get a top 5 pick, who are the best 5 guys us Seattle hopeful can be looking to draft?”

Alright, lets break it down like this. Julian Peterson, by the way, is my favorite Seahawk. Definitely a tough year to root for Washington in any form, but being a Husky fan at least you can be happy to see the Cougars getting kicked around. Not all is lost. As for the receiver pick up, I’d go with Branch. He’s the best receiver of the bunch, and he was at least decently productive against the Cardinals. Their schedule isn’t too tough against the pass, but neither is the Rams schedule. Still, I would be more comfortable going with Branch against the Cowboys, Patriots, and Rams in the fantasy playoffs – neither is great in the secondary.

As for your next question, I would say these are the Top 5 guys in the draft, and Seattle should have a chance at one of them…  Michael Oher (OT-TEX), Andre Smith (OT-Alabama), Michael Crabtree (WR-TTech), Eugene Monroe (OT-Virginia), and Michael Johnson (DE-GTech) – those are the goods in my opinion, and they could use any of them – especially a stud on the O-line.

The Guy says, “I hear lots of good things about next years’ skill draft; Knowshon Moreno, Crabtree, Maclin, Beanie Wells, Percy Harvin, C.J. Spiller, Darrius Heyward-Bey, and the QB’s (Bradford, Stafford, Harrell) – and I’ll be looking for those guys during my league’s dynasty rookie draft, but who is your favorite guy rolling under the radar? I know you liked Chris Johnson and Matt Forte a lot – and both look very good, so I trust your opinion. Your top 5 I didn’t list???”

You bet bub, but I must warn you, I also thought Rashard Mendenhall was the best of the bunch. But you’re right, I tend to do alright with my draft pick knowledge – and Mendenhall might be good, we just won’t know for a while. This is how I’d list my Top 5 that you didn’t.

1. LeSean McCoy – Denver, please draft this kid and make me a visionary!

2.  Chase Coffman – I think he’ll have a more immediate impact than Dustin Keller – he’s got great mitts.

3. Kenny Britt – I’m not sure what his speed is, and that should be something you look at, but he’s a big physical kid that can dominate the top corners he plays in college. He’s on a bad offensive team this year, so he might be next season’s Eddie Royal – a steal in the 2nd or 3rd round.

4. Derrick Williams – If you’ve seen the Nittany Lions lately, there’s no doubt who they think their best player is – Williams may seem small but his size isn’t bad and he has great athleticism and timing.

5. Javon Ringer and Brandon Gibson (WR from WSU): You know the first guy, and he won’t be given much love but I see him a lot like I saw Ray Rice – a complete runner that does everything well enough to play at the next level. He’ll be a later selection but could play right away. Brandon Gibson won’t be well known but he has all the ability. He’s at a terrible school that can’t do anything offensively – and that’s no place for a great receiver. Look for him to impress at the next level.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 11

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Believe it or not, I’m back – back to share the questions that be asked upon me. Don’t forget, you can send your questions to papaweimer50@hotmail.com – I answer them relatively promptly for an old sour man, and every once in a while you get a little humor that should brighten your otherwise gloomy day. Bingo!

Red Red Ryan writes, “Thank you for all your wisdom – I did all the fantasy bowing you suggested, even making a little shrine of Splinter Shannahan – this all turned around last week when I went into overtime once again, and needed less than 20 points from Steve Breaston to win the game. I thought I was in trouble when Breaston basically had that covered going into the half, but it was the Anquan Boldin show after the break and I ended up winning by a point. Is there anyone else I should pay homage to this week?”

Anytime I can help, I’m happy to do so – unless of course you are in a league with me, in that case you should worship the wrong fantasy figures like Brian Billick, Andy Reid, John Fox, and Freddie Mitchell. Red, you have been a valued reader, and hilarious question asker over the years, and I just wanted to offer you a blog/post spot on team LuckyLester.com. I talked to the young buck and he likes your style, besides the redness, but thinks you’d be a nice addition. Let me know if you’d be interested, and you’ll have free reign to write whatever you want (that’s not abusive and terrible). As for things you should do this week, I’d reccomend putting on some old football pads, grabbing a baseball bat, and do your best rendition of the famous Bo Jackson poster. Take that, put it on your wall in a frame, and watch your fantasy stats soar into the playoffs. Nothing better than the Red meets Bo poster. Good luck!

Johnny 6 asks, “Would you start DeAngelo Williams over Adrian Peterson this week? The Panthers play the Lions and AP goes up against a tough Tampa D – your call big guy.”

Johnny one better than Five, that’s a tough one, but yes I would start DeAngelo. He’s been great lately, and the team is really feeding him the rock. AP does have a very tough match-up against the Bucs, a team that has allowed one single rushing touchdown all year long. I expect that game to be heave Bucs early, but it’s hard as hell not to start that beast in Minnesota. Yes, I’d start DeAngelo, and I’m hoping for you that I’m right about that one.

Alice in Dublin writes, “I’m a chick, I’m hot, I’m in 25, and I’m living in Dublin while playing fantasy football – how many of those have you gotten questions from? Here’s the deal, I’m playing my stupid boyfriend this week and I just want to make sure I beat his ass. I have to start 2 running backs between Steve Slaton, Marion Barber, and Joseph Addai – and I have to start 3 receivers from Andre Johnson, Calvin Johnson, Jericho Cotchery, and Brandon Marshall – which 5 do you start? Thanks in advance, I’ll love you forever if you give me good advice.”

I think I’m in love. Alice, the answer to your first question is none. For your football related stuff, I’d go with Marion Barber for sure, and a slight lean toward Steve Slaton over Addai. Seems crazy, with Addai healthy and all, but the place to attack the Texans is through the air, and with that being said I’m almost willing to believe that Dominic Rhodes does just as well as Addai. I know Slaton was bad last week, and Bob Sanders the running game missile is back for the Colts, but I like Slaton to have a solid game this week, just a little better than Addai’s. At receiver I’d leave Calvin Johnson on the bench, as crazy as that sounds, and I’d start Brandon Marshall, Jericho Cotchery, and Andre Johnson. It’s a tough call between Calvin and Andre, both have very tough match-ups, but despite the top pass defense in Indy, Sage takes plenty of chances and Andre is an absolute beast. I couldn’t sit him down. I love your style, feel free to write in any time.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 10

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Week double digits is back – I’m old, I’m white, I’m wealthy – and I still voted Obama – ha! Beat ya…. Alright, alright, in the light of our recent election that had Obama stealing red states, and it being about as lopsided a victory as I’ve seen since Clinton’s second term – I thought I’d print one normal response and a couple of my one liners that I’ve been replying with, some sure thing answers for a sure thing week. gObama!

Darnell Harris from his iPhone writes, “Of these listed wideouts, what three do you recommend starting? Drew Brees is my QB, RB’s are Jacobs, M. Turner, and Chris Johnson. WR’s to choose from are Colston, Jennings, Curtis, Coles, Matt Jones, Mason, and Gage. Big game this week! Any advice is greatly appreciated…”

Thanks for writing in. It looks like you have a solid lineup this week. While Jacobs is going up against a very tough Eagles defense, they seem to have a little trouble against power rushing attacks, and Jacobs is every bit of that. Mike Turner has a nice match-up against the Saints. New Orleans has been better against the run this year, but after Matt Ryan had the best of the Saints last time out, you’d think they try to make life a little tougher for him, Turner is a solid bet. Chicago is solid against the run, no doubt, but Chris and the Titans can run on anyone, and I actually think the Titans run game does alright on Sunday. Drew – great option. Colston and Jennings are sure things to me, both have great secondary match-ups and both are amazing talents that I would start against anyone. I have to believe Colston is back to full health. Your real question here is a 3rd wideout, and I think it’s between Coles (@ St. Louis), Jones (@ Detroit), and Mason (@ Houston) – Gage is alright, but I’m not so sure I’d start him over these three. St. Louis ranks 28th in pass defense but is second worse in yards given up per attempt with 8.7 – so their secondary is BAD. Detroit is 29th, but they give up more yards per pass attempt than anyone in the league, and Houston is actually middle of the pack in the secondary, and I think they’ve been better since Dunta Robinson joined the group. Based on that, I’m eliminating Mason from the wash. Between Jones and Coles, I think Coles is the better player and while Thomas Jones is sure to get lots of action on Sunday, so are the Jaguar running backs agaisnt Detroit’s 31st ranked run defense. The Jags have really struggled late, and you’d have to think they run the ball as much as possible on Sunday. So I guess my final word is Coles. He’s consistent, he seems to be Brett’s favorite target, and on play action pass he should have a couple big plays this weekend. Good luck my man.

Insane Bolt writes, “Have you ever seen a more explosive running back than Chris Johnson?”

Yes – Barry Sanders, Gale Sayers, Walter Peyton, and Jim Brown – all four were more explosive in different ways – but I love me some Chris Johnson highlights, don’t get me wrong.

Chorizo Bill asks, “In a dynast league who would be your top 10 quarterbacks? I’m thinking the next 4-5 years… I’m not asking who is the best now, or the best value, or anything like that – I’m asking which guys you think will average the most fantasy points over the next 4 to 5…”

Pork Willy; fair enough. Here goes nothing… Tony Romo, Drew Brees, Jay Cutler, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Carson Palmer, Philip Rivers, Matt Schaub, Ben Roethlisberger, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, Matt Ryan, Jason Campbell – that’s 13 but I do what I want… This year I think this is my list for end of season… Brees, Cutler, Warner, McNabb, Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Brett Favre, Jake Delhomme, Brett Favre, and Chad Pennington…. 11, I know.

Huey LOUIS from Kuai says, “My favorite player to watch these days is Marion Barber – he may not be the fastest but that guys goes all out – who’s your favorite player of all time?

Mike Singletary, pants down and all. That guy was a perfect player.
Too Tall Tim asks, “My kid is a big tall skinny kid, and I’m trying to get him to play football as well as hoops – he just wants to play pretty hoop ball. He says there’s nobody tall that has ever been good (and we’re talking position players here) – is there anybody in the 6’6 range that isn’t a lineman and is an example I could use?
Jason Campbell, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Ben Roethlisberger – all 6’5 – and Joe Flacco is 6’6 – non lineman, non quarterback tall guys? Brandon Jacobs is 6’4 270, but I hardly believe he’s human… Brandon Marshall is 6’4, Matt Jones is 6’6 and he’s not having a bad year, hard to use a guy with coke habits as an example though – Calvin Johnson is 6’5 but like Jacobs he’s a freak of nature… Antonio Gates and Jason Witten, usually pass catching TE’s like those guys are legit examples. All linemen are tall, naturally.
Torrance asks, “If you could start your NFL football team with 5 players, who would they be?”
Mario Williams, Justin Tuck, Albert Haynesworth, Joe Thomas, DeMarcus Ware… I don’t know how I’d play those 4 linemen (and OLB Ware) together, but those four absolute beasts on defense would get me where I wanted to go, and Joe Thomas is a very young and solid cornerstone and offensive tackle. I’ll get skill players later, I almost took Nnamdi Asomugha over Ware but DeMarcus is basically the only guy offenses worry about when they play Dallas and he still ruins everything.
Jameson from Kentucky writes, “Why doesn’t the spread offense work in the NFL?”
Because offense aren’t faster than defenses in the NFL.

Q&A Ask Papa Weimer: Week 9

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We’ll be through the halfway mark after this weekend’s action and there are some burning questions being asked by my valued readers… Here are a few that came up this week.

Johnsonvile from Jacksonville asks, “Okay, so we know Larry Johnson likes to slap a B*!$#, and the Chiefs are doing their best to lose enough to get what they want come draft day, but what does that mean for Larry Johnson for the next few weeks after he gets back? I kind of want to drop the clown and pick up Ryan Torain – what do you think?”

I love me some brats, sir – yummm…. Anyway, I don’t think you lose much by giving Larry the axe for a stretch run that could bonus you a productive kid in Denver’s system. The Broncos might just do alright having a rushing attack, and it’s possible that Torain starts to produce as soon as he gets a look. Now, you know, before he gets 15 carries and goes off, would be a good time to take that chance. LJ the beater is already gone for Week 10, and that leaves only a few weeks for him to make an impact for your team before the playoffs. If you are looking for a way to win a couple games, and you don’t have room to let Larry sit, I’d go ahead and go for a guy like Torain. Maybe even Kevin Faulk or Dominic Rhodes this week instead. But I like Ryan, and I think he has lots of upside. Larry is still running for a bad team – so take a chance if you get the chance. Yum, bratwursts.

Red Red Ryan asks, “I’m in a keeper league and would love to get rid of some age to get some youth – I think there are some good rookies coming up, and I was wondering what you thought about giving up some solid players now for rookie draft picks this year – how’s the class coming up? I have Torry Holt, Hines Ward, and DeAngelo Williams (I know he’s not old, but J-Stewart is behind him).”

Red, the gods still aren’t doing you well, eh? Going down in the dumps, looking for youth? Fair enough – this is what I see from the incoming class…

Studs: Michael Crabtree, Jeremy Maclin, Beanie Wells, LeSean McCoy, Knowshon Moreno, Darrius Heyward-Bey, Percy Harvin: These guys all look to be fantastic pro prospects. Maclin is unbelievable fast and has solid size, Crabtree is a beast and has the physical to play right now, and I can’t say enough about Well, McCoy, and Moreno – and Bey and Harvin are elite prospects as well. 7 good ones if they all come out.

Good with Upside: Sam Bradford, Mathew Stafford, C.J. Spiller, Juaquin Inglesias, Demetrius Byrd, Chase Coffman, Tim Tebow?: I like Bradford a lot, and Stafford has a nice arm, but this group has some questions (besides Chase, he seems solid as an NFL TE) – Even with all Tebow’s skills, I wonder how he projects at the next level – some upside there, sure, but does he have enough with his arm?

Solid, not studs, worth looking at drafting: Javon Ringer, James Davis, P.J. Hill, Derrick Williams, Brian Robiskie, Mark Sanchez, Brandon Pettigrew, Arian Foster: Some good college players here, and some project solid at the next level, I’m just not completely sold on any of them quite yet. Ringer sure works hard though.

Sleepers: Jarrett Dillard, Ramses Barden, Sammy Straughter: These young receivers have all the moves and ability, now we’ll see how they can use it.

Something like that. I don’t know if I’d give Tory away just yet, he might make a return on your investment here in the next couple weeks, but if you can get a younger player with some upside and a 1st round pick, you might want to look at that. He is getting older. Hines has been solid for most of the season, and I think his style of play keeps him active and productive for a while here, but he could be a guy to look at getting a pick for, sure. I think 1st round rookie picks are big, and there looks to be about 10 guys from this class (i’m assuming at least a few of my “upside” guys become really good) that should be there for you with middle round picks. Remember though, young receivers don’t lose much value staying in and while Crab and Maclin and Heyward all have that “now” ability, they could hang out and play some college ball for a while too. As for the running backs, if they are NFL graded they will likely come out, saving some wear on those legs is a smooth move. I would keep DeAngelo around unless you get a good deal for him – he’s a young runner with solid upside. He does a lot of things well and he’s proving that this season. I know he has a stud behind him, but none of the guys you listed are assured to go to a place where they will be the guy. You have a solid youngster in Williams, might as well hang onto him.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 8

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Here you go folks, a couple bright emails sent in from readers and answered by me… Just like that.

David from the Midwest writes, “I need to pick up some receivers but I can’t seem to grasp which one or two I should grab. How would you rank the following Galloway, Bryant, Avery, Morgan, and Walker. Give reasons for how you ranked them. I like Galloway,but Gruden has said Bryant will continue to start. Avery, Walker, and Morgan intrigue me. Let me know.”

Boy, Avery, Morgan, and Walker all kind of interest me too – and for much different reasons. Morgan probably is the biggest sure thing for numbers as he’s supposed to continue his starting ways for the season and Martz seems to love him and you know Mikey is going to throw the rock – but Galloway and Bryant are both good receivers that have proven legit options over the time of their careers. Tough call really. I would rank them like this… Galloway, Morgan, Bryant, Avery, Walker – but they are all very close in this ranking. The space that seperates 1-5 isn’t all that much. Galloway is old and has been injured a lot, plus there’s a chance he doesn’t even start when he gets back (which I think is crazy) – still, he’s shown his upside, and he’s one fast receiver even as old as he is. Morgan is very young and has just one decent game in his career, but I like him. Bryant was certainly a nice PPR option a few times, he was a top pick, but also a guy that’s warn out his welcome numerous times – but he has been the most productive this season. Then you have Walker – shooit, all the talent in the world but he’s been a head case has a tough team to play receiver for, and he faces Baltimore this week. Avery is lightning and has been getting open a few times a game, and Dallas hasn’t shown anything. Maybe I’d drop Galloway down, but it’s hard because he’s so proven. Tough call man – good luck in your choice.

Red Red Ryan writes, “Okay, I’ve paid my homage to the powers that be. I found an old set of Ninja Turtles and have them all looking up to a Mike Shannahan coaching football card. Warren Moon got a fan-mail from me recently, responded with a “thank you, this and that, this and that” and as for Shannon Sharp, I stopped by a farm recently and fed some horses grass. That should do it eh? That being said, who should I start this week? Brandon Jacobs or DeAngelo Williams? Oh, wait, Addai’s out, I’ll start them both… Ouch. Okay, who would you start at QB? Big Ben or Jake Delhomey? Thanks for the advice, I’ll need the good ju-ju this week.

Red Red Ryan – you probably still need to dye your hair, but you’ve done well young student. I’m going to keep this short, because I don’t think I can compete with your actual question/statement. You are quite the fantasy enthusiast, and while Big Ben will have to throw against the Giants, so will Jake against the Cardinals. I don’t see the Panthers running around well at home this week, but Jake should have nice numbers. With his full compliment of receivers, I like him the best this week. Good luck!

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 7

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A couple interesting ones questioning many things from fantasy gods to the ghost of Barry Sanders…  A Halloween special two weeks early? You could say that maybe.

Red Red Ryan from Walla Walla texts me this, “Papa Weimer, I’m in trouble. I think I might have done something to disappoint the fantasy Gods, or whomever it is that decides the balance of such things. You see, last week I lost in both of my fantasy leagues – but here’s the real trick, they were both ties and I dropped the soap with my overtime players in both situations. Two ties, two losses, same week – that is black magic if I’ve ever seen it. Is there anything you suggest that I should do? I’m really looking for some help here. Thanks in advance…”

Red Red Ryan, I think I got what you need. From the photo I’ve seen of you I noticed that you do indeed have red hair. Like America’s fortune 100 (in which not a single one is married to or dating a red head), Fantasy Gods seem to have a thing against red hair. Look at Carson Palmer for example – his hair has become more and more red over the years, and he’s still stuck in Cincinnati with a guy that changed his name to a false spanish number, on a losing team, and now he’s having shoulder and confidence issues – and he was probably the best red head ever, at anything, in the whole world. I say die your hair black or brown or even lime green – all three could be good looks for you. Die your hair guy is usually a joke to me, but i this case I’ll make an exception. Two ties with overtime losses, that does sound pretty amazing, and you also tell me that you never win playoff games in fantasy, that’s surely another fantasy god curse.  Here’s the deal with fantasy gods though, they aren’t really gods, they are a three man group including Mike “Splinter” Shannahan, Shannon “Horse Face” Sharpe, and Warren “Many” Moon(s). If there’s anyway you can please one of those unholy beasts then you can indeed get the fantasy fortune back on your side. My suggestion, don’t say things like “Why can’t you just give the ball to Tatum Bell, he has a great Yards Per Carry average!??!!” or “Shut your big dumb mouth Shannon, you played with freaking John Elway for God’s sake, you should be the all time touchdown leader you loud ass,” and definitely not, “Warren, thanks for your run and shoot input, but you are one bad female encounter away from a new version of your offense, the Shoot and Run.” None of these things will make them happy, and losing on ties will forever be your calling card. If that’s too much for you to handle, here’s the short version… Die hair, slap an old school #1 Huskies uni on, and watch the Ninja Turtles first movie – onward march young red bag….

Digs from Detroit says, “Okay, listen here – I know there’s that curse of the bambino and the Cubs curse, but I’m here in Detroit telling you that we have a curse of Barry Sanders – it’s killing me. I thought Matt Millen was the problem, but it may be more than that. I might trade Michael Turner for Barry Sanders and just see what happens, maybe the curse will be lifted? Let me know, and I’ll pull the trigger. We haven’t had a good runner since then, and our team sucks balls – give me a glimmer of hope old man.”

Ah, the curse of Bewwy – yes indeed. I wouldn’t trade anyone to get him, but for fantasy luck I like to take Sanders with my last pick in any league that allows more than 16 roster spots – he seems to sprinkle good ju-ju on my running back selections, and even thought the chances of him being fantasy relevant are just a slight bit higher than Adam “Frogger” Jones staying out of trouble, the good he does as a mentor has been priceless. I always have good running back luck. Say this year for example, after Round 5 I got Matt Forte. Then in Rounds 10 and 15 I got Chris Johnson and then Steve Slaton. Add that to my 3rd overall pick of Marion Barber and my 3rd round pick of Michael Turner and you’ll see why I’m dominating my 3 RB PPR league. But that’s just fantasy wise, and it looks like you are trying to stop something bigger, something more in the reality scheme than the fantasy realm. Hmmm… I’ve got it. Go back in time and get the Lions to not make so many draft mistakes. I’m not throwing Gosder Cherilus under Matt Millen’s bus quite yet, give him time first, but lets go back here… 2007 – Calvin Johnson is very good, no doubt, but Joe Thomas is one of the best Tackles in the league – ask any football knowledgeable guy and he’ll tell you the difference between an elite receiver and an elite tackle. 2006 – Ernie Sims is good (a little small and prone to nicks), but Jay Cutler is a stud that could have been had. That would have meant the Lions taking a guy that wasn’t a college all world player though, which is rare for them in Round 1. 2005 – Mike Williams over (well anybody) but great players that soon followed… DeMarcus Ware, Shawne Merriman, Jammal Brown – each was taken in order directly after the Lions ignored all the good scouts directions. Stupid. 2004 – Roy Williams is a quality receiver with big time big play potential, but once again the Lions are putting a lot of their money into receiver – look at that historically, not a great move. Who could they have had? Oh, I don’t know, Ben Roethlisberger, Tommie Harris, Shawn Andrews, Vince Wilfork, Steven Jackson, Bob Sanders – but Ben and Tommie and Shawn and Vince would be 4 great options to have drafted. I can play this game all day, but any team that blows high picks on mediocre players will become terrible. In ’03 it was Charles Rogers over Andre Johnson, Terrence Newman, Jordan Gross, Terrell Suggs, Marcus Trufant, Troy Polamalu – the list goes on and one. Some teams make mistakes, no doubt, it’s just that Detroit does it every year. They error on the side of fantasy numbers. You can’t do that in real football. Millen’s gone, there’s my glimmer – also, there’s lots of mistakes to see where to go next. If they can learn from them, your Lions will be alright. For now, keep Mike Turner my man – he’s hope for your chances.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 6

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I’m back fellas, and with better advice than ever before. I got a hair cut (just the sides, don’t grow it up top anymore – know what I mean Lucky? Haha – haha) and a massage so you can only imagine how ready I am to share my fantasy knowledge with the rest of you. Let the games before the games begin!

Tory Mills from Sanitary Service says, “Papa, sorry to bother you with TE advice, but I was just wondering, which guy do you think would do the best work for me until Shockey returns to the Saints? I am thinking that my four best choices are John Carlson, Dustin Keller, Daniel Graham, and Zach Miller. You have a lean on any of these?”

You bet Tony, I like Miller. I think the Raiders are going to play worse without Kiffin running the show, because now it means that Al Davis is completely running the team, and that’s never a good thing. However, that means more passing, and while Davis would love to see Russell toss the ball 60+ yards on every single play, the truth of the matter is that Russell’s favorite target is a big sure handed tight end by the name of Zach. I think Keller has lots of upside, but the fact that he has to compete for touches with the “starting” TE in New York makes him a chancey start any given week. John Carlson started off really well, but with Engram back and Branch probably back for good here in a week or so, I think he loses his targets a little. Still, I expect him to be the 2nd best option in the group you listed. Graham is an interesting one, I’ve always liked Daniel, and his great blocking means that defenses can’t put good coverage guys on him all the time. He has all the ability to be a Top 10 TE, so if Scheffler is out for an extended time, he’s worth a shot. Still, I like Miller the most, and Carlson and Graham are close at 2 and 3. Keller’s upside is the greatest, but he’s a back-up TE that gets half the TE throws if he’s lucky. Good luck Tony.

Tom Thumb from the State of Shatty Sports Teams asks, “Should I pick up Bobby Engram, really, or will he just get injured in a dominoes accident? There are three other receivers I kind of like out there, but Engram seems like the best value in a PPR league. Let me know what you think, here are my other choices. Steve Breaston, Dominek Hixon, Javon Walker. Thanks in advance…”

Tom, I’m guessing of Washington State, it’s not easy being rained on all day and then dealing with the Hawks, Mariners, Sonics… err… Thunder, Huskies, and Cougars, I know, but you have to hold on tight, Western Washington, or anywhere on the West Coast for that matter, is a bad place for sports. People have better things to do than follow a bad team out there, and thus you get bandwagon monkeys every single year. I know, I’m from there – well I live there anyway. As for your question, yeah, I think I’d risk my waiver wire money on Bobby Engram. He’s a good receiver, especially good in that check down short pass go nowhere frustrating to watch take no chances play not to lose offense they run in Seattle. IF he stays healthy, I think he’s the best option here. I like Breaston, and think he has decent season long value as the #3 in Arizona, and more value as the #2 until Boldin gets back. But, I think Engram will get more looks than him, and in a PPR league those catches get big. Hixon has a lot of talent, but with all those options in New York I don’t see him getting the ball all that much. He’s a great get if Burress gets hurt, and just wait for that to happen. Javon, well, I don’t know what to say except I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole. I hope he turns it around, but until he shows some sign of a heart beat, I’d let him rot in Oakland where receivers often go to die.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 5

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I’ve got a couple dandy questions this week, I won’t mix words here – just go right to the nitty gritty – I love being old sometimes – because I can say stuff like “I love being old sometimes” and go absolutely no where with it, link it to nothing, and just go one with what ever it is that I’m doing. And you know what, you’ll be like, “What?” and then you’ll just concede that I’m old and that’s that. Also, being old allows me to say things like “I won’t mix words,” and then put a damn lexicon in a blender. Domino!

Steven Talking from Tulane says, “This is the first time I’ve ever written in, as you will probably recognize. I was just wondering, I’m in a PPR league and can start a receiver or a running back at the flex this week – who would you start amongst the following? Bernard Berrian, Steve Smith (NYG), Steve Slaton, or Clinton Portis?

Boy, nice team of Flexers. I think Steve Smith is a great sleeper play this week, but you have 3 other non-sleeper guys, so cross him off the list. Portis is the best player, no doubt, but he has a very tough match-up in Philly this week, and I don’t think he does great things against another great defense for the 2nd straight week. THat leaves Berrian and Slaton, and though Berrian has the makings of a good game against the Saints secondary, I think Slaton is your best bet. Indy doesn’t stop the run without Bob Sanders, and the Iowa missile is out for sure. Slaton catches a lot of balls out of the backfield and his speed should give Indy trouble. He’s in line for 20-25 rushes and targets combined, which should be two to three times as many as Berrien. Good luck this week – Slaton is your guy. And by the way, Steven Talking – that’s great stuff on the name, unless freakishly your name is actually Steven Talking, then just give your mom a high five and your dad a fake high five and then a quick flick to the testicular region. You can’t hit girls and dad’s the next best option.

Talifan asks, “I dont see much rong with starting Regge Bush this week agginst the Vikes even thou Sota has a good run D – am I stupid?”

Yes. But you’re right about Reggie Bush. Joking. I’ll just assume you were getting special treatment under the desk while writing in your question – to keep in clean I mean a *pedicure. Reggie has a tough match-up running the ball, sure, but I’d be surprised if he was used as anything except a change of pace anyway. Deuce will get the tough runs and Reggie will get about 10-12 receiving targets. He could do a lot with those looks against the Vikings secondary. Even as a change of pace back, Reggie could break one and end up with a chunk of rushing yards. Bush struggled last week, but he still looks ready for a solid season. Your name is also pretty clever – what they hell is this, smart nickname week on LuckyLester.com? Brilliant. Maybe i can have a cool nickname too –  Papa Ten-Inge Weimer? You know, because I have 10 cousins that are related to Brandon Inge… Yacko!

David says, “I need a pick up for the future and I can have either Deuce or Le’Ron McClain – you have any advice on this one?”

Tough call. I’ll tell you this, I’ve seen all backs in Baltimore run and the best pro runningback this year is Le’Ron McClain. That being said who knows what the coaches will think and right now Deuce is looking like the guy to get the rock in New Orleans – maybe check out who they play on that bye week of yours and go from there. If Baltimore has to play Tennessee or Minnesota, haha, then go for Deuce. That’s what I’m thinking. If it were me, and I was just picking up either player based on his rest of the season fantasy total, I would probably go with the sure thing of McAllister. Deuce may be older, and he might have three bad knees, but he’s still the best running back in New Orleans, and there’s a lot about the match-ups that an NFC South running back goes up against opposed to an AFC North running back. Plus, Willis McGahee still looks like “the guy” when he’s healthy. Boy McClain runs hard though, tough decision for sure, and either choice could come back to bite you in the butt – at least you are just picking up a bye week future guy though, not much to lose either way.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 4

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Here I am, and I’m back early this week. Already on Monday I’ve gotten quite a few emails, and have three that I’d like to share. I’m old, grouchy because the Patriots (my Week 3 survivor) lost, and hungry (because there’s no damn food in the house). So hopefully my anger doesn’t travel through the keyboard. Well, ah, here goes nothing…

Jimmy Z from Portland writes in, “Papa, before the season started you predicted that, Marion Barber would be the best running back this season in fantasy land. So far you’re close, Barber sits at number 2 amongst running backs after Week 2. But there’s this other guy at #1, a little feller named Reggie Bush. How do you like Reggie going forward? Is it time to trade the former Trojan? I’m in a PPR league and he seems like a good bet to continue catching balls. What do you think?”

Jimmy, I think Reggie is going to have a great year, no doubt about it. In fact, in that same “Papa’s Predictions” article, I said “Reggie Bush – 10+ total touchdowns this season, his highest total of his career.”- but I didn’t think Reggie would ever be leading all running backs in fantasy points. Honestly, if you can get a guy like Marion Barber for Reggie, I say go for it. But right now, in a PPR league, the guys that selected Reggie Bush are patting themselves on the back, and you should be as well. After three games, Reggie has compiled 402 total yards and 4 touchdowns (2 receiving, 1 rushing, 1 special teams score), and while I don’t expect him to tally up 2,200 all purpose yards, it’s not out of the question. That’s right, a guy like Bush that can catch the ball and he gets carries out of the backfield, he has the chance to break 2000 yards from scrimmage for sure. Bush is going to have his best season, I thought that headed in, and while the pre-season brought his value down a little bit for me, I am sticking with my prediction of double digit touchdowns and now I think he’ll approach 2000 yards from scrimmage. In a PPR, I say hold onto him. Reggie is on pace to catch 125+ balls this season. I think he’ll catch about 100. That’s like 1000 extra rushing yards in that scoring format. Hold onto your good pick, Jimmy.

Bad Boy from Jersey thanks me for giving him the reassurance needed to take Marion Barber over LT, he says, “Papa, you are the man! Earlier this year, just before my draft, I wrote in asking you if it was okay to take Marion Barber over AP and LT – I had the #2 pick and though I thought Barber would be the better back this season, I knew the “value” was with Peterson and Tomlinson. Anyway, after your advice to “go for it” I did grab Barber #2 overall, ahead of LT and Peterson (Brady was picked #1 – hahaha), and right now Barber is easily outscoring both of those guys. I got laughed at during the draft we have at my buddies house, but I just shrugged it off and said, “We’ll see.” Well, we’re seeing right now. Barber is a BEAST! Thanks for the courage!”

You bet Bad Boy – anytime I can help. The funny thing is, in a year where everyone was crawling all over quarterbacks and receivers, four running backs sit atop fantasy land’s scoring highs after Week 3. Reggie Bush, Marion Barber, Michael Turner, and Frank Gore. Brilliant – we were higher than most on all 4 of those guys here at LuckyLester.com, and it’s nice to see our hard work paying off for readers. I still think Barber is the best back in fantasy football as I predicted that he would be the top fantasy back this year. Thanks for the love, but remember, you also thought Barber was the best choice available – you gotta give yourself a little credit, all I needed to do was give you a little push. Good luck the rest of the way!

Dough Slammer from East Carolina writes, “Haha – when I first read this “Barry Sanders and Ahman Green have similar chances to succeed in 2008, so for fun, do draft the former right after the latter is selected,” in your “Dos and Don’ts: Draft Day Trickery!” article I just about pissed my pants… freaking hilarious. Then I started to think about it, and not only are your right, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to do this for the rest of eternity. Anytime somebody does something like this I’m taking Barry Sanders or Bo Jackson, or somebody that was popular back in the day that could still take the ball for 5 yards a carry in their early 40s. Anyway, to my other comment; in that same article you said, “Don’t pick anybody that broke a record last season – the value just isn’t there,” and I couldn’t help but think, this guy is funny, sure, but he’s an idiot – everyone wants Randy Moss and Tom Brady on their team.” Now I’m thinking, okay, this guy is funny and he’s a freaking fortune teller – how did you know they were going to struggle and do you have any other advice for the rest of the season?”

Dough Slammer, a couple things. First of all – your name is to be recognized as a great nickname with epic story lines that could explain why you are indeed called, Dough Slammer. Brilliant. Second, I love your email, it makes me feel all warm and cuddly inside, and appreciate the fact that you appreciate what I’m doing here for next to nothing (My nephew gives me a beer for every article I write – which is nice because I’m not supposed to drink, and he’s the only one that gives me it, but still, next to nothing). Third, I didn’t “KNOW” for sure that Tom and Randy would struggle, but the chances of guys that played every single game of a 19 game season getting hurt are a lot greater than guys who played 14-15 or even 16 games. The Patriots were going all out all the time in every game they played – just more contact, more collisions, and more future problems come from that. But taking a player that just broke a record is never good. First of all, there’s almost 0% chance that they relive those same numbers. And second, everyone else knows about them and wants to have them on their very own fantasy teams. Lastly, I’ll do this one favor for you. Go right to the first Jamal Lewis owner you have in your fantasy leagues, every single one of them, offer that guy or those guys one of your players that is decent, that has played above his pick level, and trade for Lewis if you can. Don’t give up a starter on your team, but for example, you might be able to trade Ronnie Brown for Jamal Lewis and Braylon Edwards (a perfect guy is “pick all the Browns guy” because he should have both Edwards and Lewis right now). Feel good about that trade. Trade Hines Ward for Lewis. Trade Felix Jones for Lewis. Edgerrin James for Lewis – you bet. The point is this. Jamal played pretty well against very tough rush defenses. The hardest part of his schedule is over and he’ll start to put up some big numbers, because just like the Saints last year, the Browns are going to get back to doing what they did in yesteryear, and Lewis is going to be a big time reason why. He’s basically free right now. Make it happen if you can. Good luck the rest of the way Dough Slammer! Keep on reading the good stuff…