Papas Football Picks: Week 16 NFL Predictions & Previews

Well, I actually won 4 games last week, but since my article didn’t get published until Sunday Morning, the Dallas Cowboys upset win didn’t get counted. Even though the publisher knew I wrote the article prior to the game, it wasn’t fair for us to put the picks up after the game and count them toward my record. But hey, it is what it is, hopefully everyone listened to Lucky and went with the Cowboys for a big win over the Saints. Who dat gonna beat dem Saints? Only the Cowboys thus far. That’s who.

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The 49ers couldn’t’ cover the 9 point spread last week, but Miami covered by that all important half point, losing by a field goal in overtime.The Packers ended up losing, just like Lucky claimed, but the +2 was enough for me to cover in find fashion. I must say, seeing the Packers up 6 with the Steelers driving had me feeling pretty dang comfortable. And the Bucos just flat out smacked the Seahawks in the face, pulling the upset in Seattle. Nice work Jim Mora – clown.

This week I have only Sunday games, so things don’t get confused at all. And without further word fodder, here they go…

Oakland Raiders (+3.5) @ Cleveland: Listen, this game will be close. Both teams suck. 3.5 points is a nice friendly spread for a game like this. The Raiders quarterback injuries shouldn’t matter much, it’s not like they have had good play since Rich Gannon finished in Oak Town.

Kansas City Chiefs (+14) @ Cincinnati Bengals: The Bengals have one single win by 14 points or more. It was the Bears, and Chicago doesn’t count. Kansas City has a nice rushing attack these days, and that should be just enough for the double touchdown dog to cover.

Jacksonville Jaguars (+10) @ New England Patriots: I know the Pats should feast on the Jaguars secondary, but the Pats should have been feasting on defenses for weeks now – and guess what, they haven’t, that’s what. Tom Brady is killing my fantasy team, and hopefully for this pick, he keeps on killing.

New York Jets (+5.5) @ Indianapolis Colts: I just don’t think Indy comes to play in this one, and i don’t think their starters play more than a quarter, maybe two. The Jets want it more, need it more, and will go all out until they get it. That’s more than I can say for the Colts. Seems like free money!

Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Redskins (+8): I know the Redskins were terrible last week, but hey, they’ve played pretty well prior to that. I have to think last week was just a tough go, and the Redskins will be ready to rock with Dallas in town. 8 points is too much for this rivalry.

Papas Picks: Predictions for NFL Week 15 2009

Last week I only pulled out one win, this up and down roller coaster crap will make an old guy poop himself, but hopefully I can make it to Lucky’s pillow before I let it go. I can’t believe I ever picked the Seahawks, good lord they are an embarrassment. The Bears as well. Oh well, the Chargers made sure I didn’t go winless, but everyone else made me look like a senile gray nose haired bastard. Some would argue that a mirror would show the same thing, but some would get punched in the face by an old guy – and how can you press charges against an old guy? I love me some dogs this week, and I all but guarantee three wins from this bunch. Hold your breath…

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San Francisco 49ers (+9) @ Philadelphia: Lucky said it right when he mentioned that the 49ers have one single double digit loss this season – only one single loss by more than one score – that’s good enough for a +9 bet no matter who they are playing. I liked seeing Mr. Singletary get back to his run game last week against a good run defense – and while I’m sure the Niners will shoot themselves in the foot with the pass, they are good enough to play with the Eagles. Close games are their MO.

Miami Dolphins (+3.5) @ Tennessee Titans: I don’t know why, but the Dolphins look like a good bet here. They are questionable in the secondary, but that shouldn’t hurt them too bad here. They have been able to run on anyone, and that could help them keep this close. Expect them to take a few more chances this week. They might lose, but Tennessee is king of the field goal win, and that still makes my Dolphins an ATS winnner.

Green Bay Packers (+2) @ Pittsburgh Steelers: I don’t get it. Are the books senile too? This crap never gets old, last year’s super bowl team no longer exists guys, that’s a thing of the past, like when skinny jeans took over for MC Hammer pants as the next thing that is cool now that will be remembered with lots of suck, the Steelers are an old champ that resemble hammer pants in today’s game. I’m taking the Pack by a couple scores. Champions don’t play all that well with nothing on the line, and their line has been stepped right over.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+7) @ Seattle Sehawks: Boy the Hawks are bad. Josh Freeman shouldn’t have as much trouble against this soft defense that has loved giving up big plays. Expect the Bucs to do just enough, going as far as nearly pulling the upset in Seattle.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 15 Fantasy Football Analysis

Here’s a couple of the consistent questions (with the answers) coming in from you guys, hope this helps for the big playoff push. Don’t second guess yourself, like old people like me do, just go with your gut, it feels better if you lose going out with your best guys. Nothing like benching a guy you started all year and losing because of it. You dig?Remember, you too can write in and get your questions answered to…. – will answer as soon as possible! – Good luck all!

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David from Minnesota asks, “Papa, I need some info on to to start besides Chris Johnson. I have Chris Jennings, Arian Foster, Ryan Grant, Fred Jackson  I need to start two of them. Which guys would you play with Chris?”

I think Fred Jackson is always a good play because he’s so involved with that team, passing game, running game, even return game – so I like him as your 2nd guy. As for the 3rd guy, it’s hard not to start Ryan Grant, because he’s a beast and he’s had pretty good ypc numbers against good defenses, but the Packers aren’t going to run into a wall, so that leaves room for another guy, and from what I hear, the Rams are coming down with swine flu like it’s free and fun, and so Foster might be a good option. Before I heard that, I would have chosen Jennings over Foster, because I like the way Chris runs, but with the epidemic hitting the Ram-rods, that’s a tough call. I feel like those guys are pretty even. But I would probably go with Ryan Grant – in fact – I am going with Ryan Grant. I have a choice between him and Jennings in a league, and Grant is the guy I chose. The Steelers have given up more than 4 yards per carry to starting running backs over the past 4 weeks, and that’s good enough for me – maybe Grant gets 15-20 carries, and if he’s lucky, a touchdown. But if you went with Foster or Jennings, I would definitely understand – I mean, Jennings carried the ball 20 times last week for 73 yards and a TD, and he looked good. Foster is going against the Rams. Both him and Jennings have good match-ups. It’s a tough call, definitely – that’s what I’m thinking, hope that helped a little.

Stanleigh writes, “Ok, I’m struggling with my final decision on RB2. What can I say? I don’t want to make a mistake on selecting the right guy between Forsett, Foster and Jennings as one of them will most certainly produce RB1 type numbers. Any advice?”

Yep – and here’s the deal, no matter what I tell you, the bottom line is these three guys are all good/tough/questionable/could be impressive options this week. I like Forsett against Tampa Bay – they suck on the ground and he’s the best offensive player on a team playing without Burleson, and Housh is recovering from a head injury. At the very least, that means there should be some touches in the cards for him in the passing game, hasselcrack has to throw the ball to someone.

But Foster and Jennings are also good plays. Jennings plays a terrible run defense, and he has passed my eye test. That means I’ve watched him run, on plays for gain and loss, and he looks like a powerful back running with some momentum.

Foster, I don’t know much about, but his match-up is also dreamy. It’s a tough call. I say Forsett, but like I said to start, you have three options that are close enough to coin toss odds than one better than the other – if it’s a PPR league, I say Forsett gets even better – but if it’s just yards and touchdowns, one of the other two guys are just as likely to succeed. The way I see it, there’s no way Forsett gets shut out – so I’d go with him.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 12 Fantasy Football Advice

I’ve answered a lot of fantasy questions this week (ask me anything football any time at, and thanks to everyone who reads my stuff and sends in the questions – but I only have a couple to share this time around, it is one of my favorite holidays you know, a great 4 day feast at my house where I’m never hungry one single second after about 11am on Thursday Morning. Many eating a little drinking and much football gets observed, just enough time without gravy on my fingers to post a couple questions and answers. Here it is –

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Stan the Man writes, “HELP!!!! SOS…. Man, I don’t know what else I can do to breakout of my slump! My team is free-falling and I play the #1 team this week who has already received production from Rogers and Jacobs. I’m down 30 already, who should I pick at WR between (Hester, Massaquoi, and Gibson) and need 2 between (Forte, Thomas Jones, Roc, or Forsett). I have the Bengals, you like their chances? Thanks!”

First of all, if you’re down already, I’d go with Hester at WR, he’s the biggest chance you have at a huge game between the three guys that are left.

As for running back, Thomas Jones is your biggest sure thing, after that it’s a bit of a crap shoot. YOu could go with Forte, but the Bears rushing attack has sucked, and they play an one of the best run-d’s in the league – but last week the Seahawks saw their starting RB get 8 catches for 80 yards – so there’s some Forte upside in the passing game, though Forsett is probably a different type of receiver than Forte….

I think Forsett would be a great start against the Rams, if Jim Mora wasn’t a tool box, and/if Julius Jones wasn’t pronounced healthy and starting – even so, I think Forsett could have a good day, I just don’t know if he’s worth the risk. I’d say no.

I think I would go with Cartwright – he’s a solid runner, he’s always been a good receiver, and he’s the only thing the Redskins have in those short passing situations. Last week, against a good Dallas run-D, Cartwright caught 7 balls (most on the team) for 70 yards (most on the team) and had 63 rushing yards (most on the team) – or something like that – not sure exact numbers, but something similar to those. I think he could be a solid pick against an Eagles team that has been decent against the run. It’s between him and Forte for me, both could catch lots of balls, I think Cartwright has a better chance to get more rushing yardage, and more catches too – but Forte probably has the better chance to score a touchdown. Tough call, I think I’d go with Roc.

Other than that, it looks good. Hopefully you can make up some ground with your RBs and with Vernon Davis, and the Bengals look like a great start this week.

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Dougie Fresca asks, “Would you start Tom Brady or Peyton Manning, Randy Moss or Wes Welker, John Carlson or Greg Olsen – thanks, sorry for the tough choices, my team is pretty solid and I already started some guys that didn’t do that well (Greg Jennings and Calvin Johnson).”

Yeah, Dougie, on the bright side it looks like you’re in a good place. I would start Brady over Peyton – the Texans have a solid secondary and I think they make the Colts run it to beat them, plus, I like a Texans upset bid to possibly work it’s magic, and that would mean a better day from Tom – and Tom has been amazing this year (especially lately) – amazingly, he seems to be going under the radar a bit, even though he’s Tom freaking Brady.

I would start Randy Moss over Welker for sure if it was a non PPR, and in a basic coin toss for a PPR league, I think the 51% chance of Moss having the better day wins out, he’s more of a big play touch down guy, and I think that’s enough to make him the guy. Though I would have gone Wes over Greg or Calvin, but that’s obviously an easy call to make now. We’ll see how it works out.

I would go with Greg Olsen over John Carslon. The Vikings give up plenty of points to opposing tight ends, and Lucky thinks the Bears have a chance to get right up there all close like with the Vikings this week – Olsen will play a huge role if that comes true. Good luck for the rest of the week!

Ask Papa Weimer: Fantasy Football Advice Week 10

I’ve been doing my thing. I hope all you readers are digging my advice, I’m getting more emails than ever before, and having a pretty good time interacting with the supporters out there – keep ’em coming, I can always dig some reader interaction. That being said, I can’t get everything right, all I can do is tell you what I think, give you the reasoning behind my opinion (as unpopular or crazy as it may seem, or turn out, for that matter), and take the good and the bad as it comes.

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Before I answer any questions, I’d like to let everyone know, never again will I draft a player that had their offensive coordinator fired just before the season… Never again will I eat a Taco Bell Black Jack Taco… Never will I ever even think about drafting a receiver getting balls thrown to him by any one of the following QB impostors, Jake Delhomme, Trent Edwards, Brady or Derek, JaMarcus, a rookie with a “big arm” (that one’s for you Mr. Stafford), or Kerry Collins… Never again will I expect great things out of a receiver in a new place (unless you’re Randy Moss-like and headed to Tom Brady’s neighborhood), or a receiver with a new coach, or a receiver with a new coach in a new place in a bad system, or Roy Williams… And last but not least, never again will I go watch football with my nephew, that Lucky little bastard switches around from game to game faster than my wife flicks through the damn channels when nothing’s on – that’s the only time in my life I wish I didn’t have every damn channel on TV. She goes so fast I can’t even see the naked breasts on skinamax…. NEVER AGAIN! Okay, vent complete, here’s the Q&A section!

Dave in Dakota says, “Papa, I hope the fantasy Gods have been smiling on you. I am hanging in there with my teams. Real quick, Which of these RBs should I try to pickup? (Betts,Bernard Scott,Forsett,Reggie Bush, or Kolby Smith?) These guys won’t start unless a good match up. Maybe a possible keeper in that bunch?”

The fantasy Gods have backed off the humility lesson the last few weeks, and I’m doing better. I would pick up Reggie Bush – he has been very explosive of late, and his surgery looks to be effecting him less and less –  then probably Kolby Smith (his upside is starter in KC where I don’t think anybody else has starter upside in that bunch. Next would be Justin Forsett (though that guy can’t buy touches, he’s always way more efficient than any other Hawk ball carrier but Mora hates his couch). And last Scott. I like Scott’s ability, he’s just a no-touch guy behind Benson (who has become a beast). Hope that helps!

Coach D in Minnesota asks, “Which WR Chambers or James Jones? What do you think of Bengals Def. vs the Packers Def?”

I would probably go with James Jones. I’ve always thought the guy was a starting WR in the league, and he’s making the most of his touches, I think he has 4 touchdowns in the last 4 games or so. Plus, with Nelson out, he’s become the sure #3 WR there, and they have many 3WR sets. But Chambers is a little intriguing. He just did nothing in the last couple years, so it’s hard for me to fully buy in to that performance.

I like the Bengals defense a lot, very opportunistic and stout up front. The Packers are okay, but not great by any means. You can’t trust them to play well any week.

Stan in San Fran writes, “All right, Papabear… here is the scenario: I have been offered Ronnie Brown and Buchalter in exchange for Forte and Westbrook. My other backs are Thomas Jones, Felix Jones and Ladell Betts. Brown and Jones would provide me with a solid RB foundation and their schedules are favorable; plus, both offenses are run oriented. I am, “on paper”, giving up a lot, but, that is only if Forte and Westbrook were performing at projected levels. Your thoughts?”

Papabear? Haha – I don’t even know how to respond to that. I guess I’ll just answer the question and eat all the honey later. I think your offer could be good for you, but Ronnie Brown isn’t always used as he should be, in fact, rarely does he get 20+ carries – then again, neither Forte or Westbrook look like awesome choices going forward either, and I would definitely rather have Brown than either of those two guys. Yeah, I’d go with the Ronnie Brown side of that trade – at the very least you know he’s going to get his carries and they do have a relatively easy schedule moving forward while Forte’s is tough.

Stan also writes, “In addition, and if the trade doesn’t go through, do I start Jones and Forte this week or do I insert Betts with a more favorable matchup than Forte (plus the short week and travel).”

I think I would start Forte and Jones or Betts – Jones just isn’t consistent enough for me, and at the very least I think Forte could catch 5 o 6 balls this week. Betts goes up against a tough Denver defense, but Clinton’s back-up will be getting starter carries, and he’s good at catching the ball out of the back-field as well. It’s a toss up to me, between Jones and Betts, but I think I might go with Betts.

Super Man Canada asks, “I need a look in your crystal ball. What do you see for Ronnie Brown? Ronnie Brown’s numbers have been down lately, do you think defenses are getting the best of the Wildcat, starting to figure it out a bit? My man is slipping.”

I don’t think it’s that, I think it’s that they’ve played the Saints, Jets, and Patriots in 3 straight weeks and Brown hasn’t approached 20 carries in any of those games. Prior to that he had 18 or more carries in 4 straight games, and that’s when he rushed for nearly 400 yards and 6 touchdowns. Who knows, the crystal ball has no guarantees, but Brown looks like one of the better bets moving forward – you know the Dolphins are going to run it, they’re at their best with the ball in Ronnie’s hands, and they play a pretty easy run schedule going forward. Plus, lots of smart people thought Ronnie would have a great year, can’t go against my gut when I’m half way through being right!

The Planless Man asks, “I have been offered Romo, Evans and Maroney for Boldin, Schaub, and Greene. What do you think? I know what I am thinking, but I want to see if you are thinking along the same lines as me. Thanks!”

Not for me. Schaub is better than Romo (though i like both), Boldin is way better than Evans, and while you gain a little with Maroney, I doubt he’ll be a player that is a difference maker for you. So you lose. Unless you’re starting Maroney as one of your Top running backs, you have to steer clear of this deal, a small upgrade at your #3 RB isn’t worth losses at your starting WR and QB spots. Plus, the DECLINE button is awesome to click!

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 9 Fantasy Football Advice

It’s been a long week already, and this damn thing is only Thursday -when will Sunday get here? A smart ass might tell me that it will be here right after Thursday and Friday get done with their business, but the nice thing about being old is you can swing and or throw things at people who are being smart asses and you basically get the “he’s old, he can get away with being a rowdy-rabble-rouser” free pass. So that three times fast. It’s a nice card to have, the “I’m old” card, it works for some many instances and really means so many things. Flirting with any good looking girl in any situation, no problem, I’m old. Yeah, it’s not all bad. But it’s true, I mean, I’ve made it this far, give a guy some credit. Plus, my memory isn’t what it once was, I can’t beat people at as many things, and not everything works all the time. But that still does. Keep it up, see if I don’t use my old person card on a left jab freebie. Okay, so you know the deal, already I’ve spent too much time polluting your eyes and minds with oldness extreme. Write in your questions to… I’ll answer them as promptly as possible, and if it’s useful to the masses I’ll put them up here in my weekly column. Dream big, penguins!

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David from the Midwest asks, “Should I try to get M Floyd or James Jones as a WR? What about this Moats thing? I have Slaton. Should I try to get Moats? I can’t believe they will bench Slaton especially after they lost Daniels. Is he trying to send a message? What have you been hearing?”

Boy tough deal, I’m also a Slaton owner and it’s hard to say. You’d think they wouldn’t completely give up on their second most explosive playmaker – especially after all he meant to this team going down the stretch last season – and I think he was definitely sending a message, obviously he doesn’t think Slaton is a poor player, but then again, Ryan Moats made the most of his opportunity, and it’s not like Slaton has been a stud running the ball this year. I think you and I are looking at a semi-running back by committee unless Moats’ success was due mainly to playing one of the worst defenses in the league. Obviously Slaton is a talented cat, and I agree, I couldn’t imagine he doesn’t get more than an equal share. But coaches have done crazier poop, and this Kubiak cat is from the Shanahan tree, we all know how easily that guy killed fantasy running backs. That being said, if you have an extra roster spot, Moats might be a safe play for you. I know my team is too good to get him off waivers, lots of people are ahead of me and I think he’ll be gone. As for Floyd or Jones, I actually like Jones as a player a lot more, but Floyd should be the surefire #2 in San Diego, and he has produced when given the chances. I think he’s the better option moving forward, though there’s a better player with a better skill-set that possesses all the things Floyd has (size, hands, etc) starting opposite him, in Vincent Jackson. I don’t think the Packers will use James Jones to his talents, so I’d go with Floyd and hope his increased playing time makes him a startable option.

Mike in Los Angeles types, “I have Ronnie Brown and DeAngelo Williams starting, but in my flex spot, should I start Clinton Portis, Kevin Smith, or Beanie Wells? The second flex spot is occupied by Alex Smith (with Favre on bye) – good idea to bench A. Smith and start two of the three RBs (I think not, with A. Smith vs. league’s worst pass D)?”

Thanks for the email. Thought the Titans secondary played pretty well last week in shutting down what had been a pretty efficient passing attack in Jacksonville, I’m just going to write that off as Jack Del Rio having too much input in the Jaguars offense, and continue to expect Tennessee to have trouble stopping the pass. I think Alex Smith is a good play there, especially considering the fact that quarterbacks are more of a sure thing than any other position. As for your other flex spot, I think Kevin Smith has the best match-up because the Hawks seem to struggle against physical runners, and Smith is physical. The Hawks have struggled a lot, especially with injuries, so beating them up on the ground seems like the best move. But you have to make sure Kevin Smith is playing. He got dinged up a bit last week, so check back later in the week to make sure he’s good to go. If he’s healthy, he’s the play. If not, I think I’d go with Clinton Portis and just hope and hope that the Redskins got it together during the bye week and will come out and feed their best player the ball. I don’t think Bennie Wells is a bad play, he could be solid, I just think he’s risky because with the Cardinals he could rush for 7 yards a carry but only get 5 carries – you know – because they run a circus offense. At the very least you know Washington wants to run the ball, and Atlanta’s rush defense is ranked in the bottom of the league. Hope that helps, good luck this weekend!

Bill Stanley (CUP) from Canada says, “I know I’m in Canada rocking a maple leaf and all, but I still have love for good old NFL Football – nothing quite like it. Anyway, I haven’t gotten into fantasy football yet, but I do rock a couple survivor pools. Now I’ve already gotten rid of Baltimore, Washington (crazy, eh), Green Bay, Indianapolis, Eagles, Steelers, Patriots, and Chargers – what do you think about taking Seattle at home against Detroit? Thanks in advance!”

Oh the maple leaf. You know, I can dig Canada. The universal health care, good people, hockey fools crushing skulls, even that mayonaise thing on random foods doesn’t gross me out too much – but nothing is worse than your world travelers. If there was ever a more annoying group of proud maple leaf Canadian flag representing guys, I haven’t found them. Now, you are good people, no doubt, but goodness, I’ve seen more maple leafs on 10 Canadian traveler’s bags than I’ve seen other flags on the hundreds of back-packs I’ve seen from all other countries. I got it, you guys are proud to be Canadian, you’re not from America, okay – but goodness, they’re running out of maple leaf patches! Okay, rant over, sorry, once again, appreciate hockey, good people, nice movie theaters, pretty hot girls, free health care – I can deal with the flag thing I guess. As for your answer, I think the Hawks are a ballsy pick, but they should win. I would probably go with Atlanta at home against Washington. I know the Falcons can play up and down, but they need this win bad, and they played really well against the Saints on Monday Night. This is a short week’s rest for Atlanta, but Washington is too icky to figure it out coming off a bye. Another option would be Jaguars – but again, that’s just as ballsy as Seattle, and I actually think the Chiefs could wheel an upset here if the stars align right. You can stick with Seattle, a decent choice and probably a team you won’t feel comfortable taking too often as the season moves forward – but I think Hot-Lanta is the safer pick in Week 9.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 14

Well here we go. By now you know the gig. These are the questions and answers from some good readers earlier in the week. If you are interested in getting your questions (and my answers to them) published, make sure they come out before Thursday – I try to get this out late Wednesday Night at the latest. Here goes something!

Ollie from Pittsburgh writes, “I know the Steelers are playing the Cowboys this week, and the Steelers haven’t given up much offense to anybody, but I have Marion Barber and Tony Romo – would you sit either of those guys to start Tyler Thigpen or LenDale White?”

Tough call Ollie, but I think I’d stick with your big guns. I know Barber went down in the Boys’ last game, but all reports are that he is a healthy go, and while the Steelers have basically mashed running games all season long, Barber is a threat through the air as well, and he’s a beast – I would probably start him just about every week. Check his status on Sunday Morning though, just to make sure the Cowboys aren’t pulling a Willis McGahee situation. As for Tony of Tyler, that’s a tough one, because Tyler plays the Broncos – and even though they are getting Champ back, they are still brutal in the secondary. But, they are the Chiefs, and I think they’ll just run a load against the Broncos. I think Romo has too many threats to have too bad of a game, and he might be the first to put up big numbers against the Steelers vaunted D. I’d stick with your two top guys, but definitely a tougher decision than I thought it would be.

Porky from San Antonio asks, “Who will be the better pro quarterback? Graham Harrell, Colt McCoy, or Sam Bradford? Same question for receiver, Dez Bryant, Jeremy Maclin, or Michael Crabtree?”

I think I’ve answered this before, but what the hay. I like Bradford from that group. That kid never gets worried and he’s got the arm and legs to do work. He’s smart, cool, and if he puts on a little bit more bulk he’s one hell of a great quarterback. He makes some great throws. I like all three though. I hope Harrell gets in the right situation to succeed. McCoy’s accuracy takes a little hit in my mind because Vince Young was the most accurate college quarterback in the nation when he was at Texas, too. All three have great quarterback personalities and qualities that should get them jobs at the next level, that’s for sure. As for receiver, I just think Crabtree is a beast. He can do everything well and he’ll never shy from contact. But again, all three are 1st Round talents – what a great draft class this could be, huh?

Joint sends a message via his blackberry, “Ryan Grant for next season, goodness, I don’t know? I need to keep 2 from this group. (Steve Slaton, Ryan Grant, Tony Romo, Larry Fitzgerald). Which two do you keep? I usually like to go RB, RB – it’s a QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, WR, TE, K, D league, and running backs are tough to come by usually, they almost always get kept. But it’s not PPR but Fitz is basically a guarantee for about 100 yards every week, and we get bonuses after 100. Not as much of a TD guy as Boldin, but he’s still solid. What do you think?”

I’m in a league with those exact dimensions, bonuses for 100 for RBs and WRs and 300 for QBs (50 for TEs though, and Witten was a beast early). But the three receivers and just two RBs, I think that makes receiver value very high. Choosing last season between Frank Gore, Ronnie Brown, Reggie Bush, Larry Fitz, and Steve Smith – I felt like I had to keep Larry and Frank. I like Reggie alright, but he’s not a bonus type guy. For you, I think I’d stick with Steve Slaton. He’s small, yeah, but the guy rarely gets hit hard. Some RBs do (See Ryan Grant, and many more) and some RBs don’t (LT, Marshal Faulk, etc) – I think Slaton is small, sure, but he doesn’t get hit hard and should stay healthy. Plus, I really like that team going forward. I think Schaub will get better and better, AJ is a BEAST, Owen Daniels is good, and that offensive line is young and improving every game. Plus, Slaton has been nice. I would keep Slaton and Larry. I’ve never been high on keeping QBs, especially when you just need one of those. 3 good WRs are tough to come by in 12+ owner leagues with 3 starting spots. Especially weekly guarantees like Larry. Hope for Kurt’s return and bank on Fitzy!

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 13

Alright, you guys know the gig, e-mail me your questions and I’ll answer them. If I think any are worth sharing in that special kind of sharing way, I’ll post them up on the site in this question and answer section. For this week, I hope you enjoy the show…

Billy Hoyle from NoCal asks, “I know I could have probably looked it up, but that’s not as much fun. I’ve asked you lots of questions, and your answers have always been useful and entertaining – so, without further ado, can you please explain to me what the hell a Turdunkan is? “

WITHOUT looking it up, I will do my best to give you my version of a freakish Thanksgiving extravaganza that can only really be correctly described by someone crazy enough to be as successful and obviously inept as one John Madden. Here goes nothing Billy Hoyle. A Turdunkan is a mixture of three birds, but more of a lego creation than an actual mix. See, a Turdunkan consists of a Turkey, a Duck, and a Chicken – but not just pieces, all three birds mooshed together. Better yet, mooshed inside one another. You have the turkey on the outside, the chicken inside the turkey, and the duck inside the chicken – unless of course you get organic chicken, in which case you probably have to breast the duck to fit it in the chicken. There is stuffing in the Turkey and likely the chicken as well, and I’m sure the bird sauce combines to make one hell of a gravy starter – but all in all, this is a de-feathered fluster of bird that is bound to make you feel like you’re delivering a baby while preparing the damn thing. I’d eat one, but creating seems unlikely. I say do it all big guy, but deep fry them in a giant vat of oil. Not frozen thought, that creates bombs.

Jessi Harrison yells, “I HATE THE LIONS!!! Isn’t it time to throw this “tradition” under the freaking bus? Tell me one good reason the good public should be forced to watch these kittens play!”

Jessi, if you so insist – here’s 4 good reasons to watch that terrible team. Everyone should watch the Lions play on Sunday to further their respect for their own team. That’s right – if you think your team is struggling Seahawk fan, Rams fan, 49er, Texans fan, and even Raider fan (just barely), set your eyes on the Lions against the Titans and laugh it up, point and cackle, because after a good Lion game, you’ll feel like Matt Schaub and company are on the verge of Super Bowl stardom. How about History? That’s reason two. This team isn’t going to win a game. I don’t care what anybody says. It’s not likely to happen, why? They are the worst team in the NFL, by far. I know history suggests a win is on the way, but can history take into account the fact that almost every team is pretty solid, except the freaking Lions? No it can’t. History forgets that fact. The ghost of Barry Sanders. I don’t think anybody would admit to this, but until Barry takes over this team, or Barry releases his ghostly powers over the Lions organization, they are damned to failure. So follow him, and hate them as best you can. If those reasons aren’t enough, how about Calvin Johnson. Talk about a guy that has it all. Every team in the league knows who is getting the ball – but Calvin still gets it. Sure, he got screwed when the Lions took him #2, but he’s rich now, and gets to catch footballs for a nice living – don’t feel too bad for him.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 10

Week double digits is back – I’m old, I’m white, I’m wealthy – and I still voted Obama – ha! Beat ya…. Alright, alright, in the light of our recent election that had Obama stealing red states, and it being about as lopsided a victory as I’ve seen since Clinton’s second term – I thought I’d print one normal response and a couple of my one liners that I’ve been replying with, some sure thing answers for a sure thing week. gObama!

Darnell Harris from his iPhone writes, “Of these listed wideouts, what three do you recommend starting? Drew Brees is my QB, RB’s are Jacobs, M. Turner, and Chris Johnson. WR’s to choose from are Colston, Jennings, Curtis, Coles, Matt Jones, Mason, and Gage. Big game this week! Any advice is greatly appreciated…”

Thanks for writing in. It looks like you have a solid lineup this week. While Jacobs is going up against a very tough Eagles defense, they seem to have a little trouble against power rushing attacks, and Jacobs is every bit of that. Mike Turner has a nice match-up against the Saints. New Orleans has been better against the run this year, but after Matt Ryan had the best of the Saints last time out, you’d think they try to make life a little tougher for him, Turner is a solid bet. Chicago is solid against the run, no doubt, but Chris and the Titans can run on anyone, and I actually think the Titans run game does alright on Sunday. Drew – great option. Colston and Jennings are sure things to me, both have great secondary match-ups and both are amazing talents that I would start against anyone. I have to believe Colston is back to full health. Your real question here is a 3rd wideout, and I think it’s between Coles (@ St. Louis), Jones (@ Detroit), and Mason (@ Houston) – Gage is alright, but I’m not so sure I’d start him over these three. St. Louis ranks 28th in pass defense but is second worse in yards given up per attempt with 8.7 – so their secondary is BAD. Detroit is 29th, but they give up more yards per pass attempt than anyone in the league, and Houston is actually middle of the pack in the secondary, and I think they’ve been better since Dunta Robinson joined the group. Based on that, I’m eliminating Mason from the wash. Between Jones and Coles, I think Coles is the better player and while Thomas Jones is sure to get lots of action on Sunday, so are the Jaguar running backs agaisnt Detroit’s 31st ranked run defense. The Jags have really struggled late, and you’d have to think they run the ball as much as possible on Sunday. So I guess my final word is Coles. He’s consistent, he seems to be Brett’s favorite target, and on play action pass he should have a couple big plays this weekend. Good luck my man.

Insane Bolt writes, “Have you ever seen a more explosive running back than Chris Johnson?”

Yes – Barry Sanders, Gale Sayers, Walter Peyton, and Jim Brown – all four were more explosive in different ways – but I love me some Chris Johnson highlights, don’t get me wrong.

Chorizo Bill asks, “In a dynast league who would be your top 10 quarterbacks? I’m thinking the next 4-5 years… I’m not asking who is the best now, or the best value, or anything like that – I’m asking which guys you think will average the most fantasy points over the next 4 to 5…”

Pork Willy; fair enough. Here goes nothing… Tony Romo, Drew Brees, Jay Cutler, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Carson Palmer, Philip Rivers, Matt Schaub, Ben Roethlisberger, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, Matt Ryan, Jason Campbell – that’s 13 but I do what I want… This year I think this is my list for end of season… Brees, Cutler, Warner, McNabb, Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Brett Favre, Jake Delhomme, Brett Favre, and Chad Pennington…. 11, I know.

Huey LOUIS from Kuai says, “My favorite player to watch these days is Marion Barber – he may not be the fastest but that guys goes all out – who’s your favorite player of all time?

Mike Singletary, pants down and all. That guy was a perfect player.
Too Tall Tim asks, “My kid is a big tall skinny kid, and I’m trying to get him to play football as well as hoops – he just wants to play pretty hoop ball. He says there’s nobody tall that has ever been good (and we’re talking position players here) – is there anybody in the 6’6 range that isn’t a lineman and is an example I could use?
Jason Campbell, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Ben Roethlisberger – all 6’5 – and Joe Flacco is 6’6 – non lineman, non quarterback tall guys? Brandon Jacobs is 6’4 270, but I hardly believe he’s human… Brandon Marshall is 6’4, Matt Jones is 6’6 and he’s not having a bad year, hard to use a guy with coke habits as an example though – Calvin Johnson is 6’5 but like Jacobs he’s a freak of nature… Antonio Gates and Jason Witten, usually pass catching TE’s like those guys are legit examples. All linemen are tall, naturally.
Torrance asks, “If you could start your NFL football team with 5 players, who would they be?”
Mario Williams, Justin Tuck, Albert Haynesworth, Joe Thomas, DeMarcus Ware… I don’t know how I’d play those 4 linemen (and OLB Ware) together, but those four absolute beasts on defense would get me where I wanted to go, and Joe Thomas is a very young and solid cornerstone and offensive tackle. I’ll get skill players later, I almost took Nnamdi Asomugha over Ware but DeMarcus is basically the only guy offenses worry about when they play Dallas and he still ruins everything.
Jameson from Kentucky writes, “Why doesn’t the spread offense work in the NFL?”
Because offense aren’t faster than defenses in the NFL.

Ask Papa Weimer: Week 8

Here you go folks, a couple bright emails sent in from readers and answered by me… Just like that.

David from the Midwest writes, “I need to pick up some receivers but I can’t seem to grasp which one or two I should grab. How would you rank the following Galloway, Bryant, Avery, Morgan, and Walker. Give reasons for how you ranked them. I like Galloway,but Gruden has said Bryant will continue to start. Avery, Walker, and Morgan intrigue me. Let me know.”

Boy, Avery, Morgan, and Walker all kind of interest me too – and for much different reasons. Morgan probably is the biggest sure thing for numbers as he’s supposed to continue his starting ways for the season and Martz seems to love him and you know Mikey is going to throw the rock – but Galloway and Bryant are both good receivers that have proven legit options over the time of their careers. Tough call really. I would rank them like this… Galloway, Morgan, Bryant, Avery, Walker – but they are all very close in this ranking. The space that seperates 1-5 isn’t all that much. Galloway is old and has been injured a lot, plus there’s a chance he doesn’t even start when he gets back (which I think is crazy) – still, he’s shown his upside, and he’s one fast receiver even as old as he is. Morgan is very young and has just one decent game in his career, but I like him. Bryant was certainly a nice PPR option a few times, he was a top pick, but also a guy that’s warn out his welcome numerous times – but he has been the most productive this season. Then you have Walker – shooit, all the talent in the world but he’s been a head case has a tough team to play receiver for, and he faces Baltimore this week. Avery is lightning and has been getting open a few times a game, and Dallas hasn’t shown anything. Maybe I’d drop Galloway down, but it’s hard because he’s so proven. Tough call man – good luck in your choice.

Red Red Ryan writes, “Okay, I’ve paid my homage to the powers that be. I found an old set of Ninja Turtles and have them all looking up to a Mike Shannahan coaching football card. Warren Moon got a fan-mail from me recently, responded with a “thank you, this and that, this and that” and as for Shannon Sharp, I stopped by a farm recently and fed some horses grass. That should do it eh? That being said, who should I start this week? Brandon Jacobs or DeAngelo Williams? Oh, wait, Addai’s out, I’ll start them both… Ouch. Okay, who would you start at QB? Big Ben or Jake Delhomey? Thanks for the advice, I’ll need the good ju-ju this week.

Red Red Ryan – you probably still need to dye your hair, but you’ve done well young student. I’m going to keep this short, because I don’t think I can compete with your actual question/statement. You are quite the fantasy enthusiast, and while Big Ben will have to throw against the Giants, so will Jake against the Cardinals. I don’t see the Panthers running around well at home this week, but Jake should have nice numbers. With his full compliment of receivers, I like him the best this week. Good luck!