Tag Archives: Jim Zorn

Sunday Observations: Week 6 NFL Football

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My buddy Josh had this great idea, take some of our best comments to each other from Sunday’s action, the group’s best and worst textual masterpieces, and put them together in one article for all to see. Sometimes our day-time observations can be priceless, other times hilarious, and every once in a while even useful. You need to know, I have Sunday ticket, Josh is braving the darkness of Alaska and whichever games they show up there, Papa never leaves his dungeon, and Red Red Ryan couldn’t take part in this week’s texting session because his red hair (and female partner) wouldn’t allow him to do so. The bottom line is, we all watch football in different places, so we keep our texting handy to pretend we’re watching the games together. So, Red was out this week but still, Papa, Josh, and I sent texts to and fro. Here’s the Top 15, compiled by yours truly…

Josh Arsenault

1. Percy Harvin is a speed guy that loves to hit people… Watch him block from the slot and it’s easy to see why the Vikings love him.

2. Ray Rice’s game reminds me of MJD…. He and Flacco have a chance to be special for a long time.

3. John Fox makes coaching look hard… Here’s a tip, Foxy: D-Will, D-Will, J-Stew, D-Will, J-Stew, J-Stew, D-Will… Somebody get this guy a Tecmo Bowl playbook.

4. There is nobody in the NFL I enjoy watching lose more than Jay Cutler… Except maybe Al Davis… Here’s hoping Culter winds up with the Raiders at some point.

5. No team is more bi-polar than the Seattle Seahawks… Their two wins were shutouts (28-0 and 41-0) and their four losses have been by an average margin of 15 points. Which one will it be coming off their bye?

Lucky Lester

1. Rummaging through the games I think I’ve watched five offensive plays by the Bills, and I’m pretty damn sure Terrell Owens has three drops. If the average team has 60 offensive plays, TO is on pace to drop 36 balls based on my numbers – that has to be a record.

2. Joshua Cribbs is unreal, but unless he returns 5 kickoffs and punts for touchdowns, the Browns aren’t going to have a chance to win this game.

3. How do nine football games manage to all be on commercial at the same time, and not one has reached half time? On the bright side, the Tampa game is showing their cheerleaders, and I’m pretty sure they are only wearing jerseys – there might be black panties under there, but I’m not sure.

4. The Jaguars must really stink, because Maurice Jones Drew is really freaking good and they still suck.

5. I hate watching Jake Delhomme, he’s like a Ben Stiller movie, I feel embarrassed for the guy. He tries so hard but he just keeps zipping his junk up in his zipper. The guy can dig himself a hole with the best of them.

Papa Weimer

1. I hope Jim Zorn realizes that it’s not the quarterback, it’s him. Jason Campbell is better than Todd Collins, that’s why he’s started over the past 2 seasons. It’s the play calling, the dead end coaching spot, and the general broke down feeling of the Skins franchise.

2. I feel bad for Todd Haley, his offense plays like the last 3 eight grade teams I coached. They jump off-sides like it’s their job, they miss assignments all day long, and they do just enough to give you a glimmer of hope before they rip it away with a holding penalty and two jumps off-sides on back2back2back plays.

3. If you got paid a million dollars to get knocked out, and you got to pick one guy to make sure the job got done right, which player in the league would you choose to rock your world? I got Ray Lewis. (Josh replies, Brian Dawkins) (Lucky replies, Aaron Curry)

4. Hahahaha… The Rams are going to win, the Rams are going to win! Leonard Little, pick 6, the worst team in the league won’t tie the Lions for the worst record ever!

5. The Rams lose. Figures. If the Rams and Bucs gave all their best players to fight for a singular cause, they’d still get beat 12 times a year.

Five for Friday

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Coaching Newbies: I just couldn’t get enough of Jim Zorn’s mismanagement of the game on Thursday night – I almost had to quit watching the damn thing. With four minutes left, Jim is huddling down 9. Interesting. Of all people, he has to know about his dink and dunk west coast offense – hurry up son! I like Jim and despite his shortcomings in Week 1 I think he will become a solid head guy for the Redskins. But doesn’t this show that there’s such thing as a rookie curve for coaches too? Its the first time Jim has ever been a head coach and he’s also calling plays – who does he think he is? Splinter Shannahan? Watch out for those rookie coaches, they’ll kill your fantasy guys too. Chris Cooley needed to get involved in this one – he’s a huge asset for the Redskins – yet he didn’t do anything. Talking about tight ends, do I drop Kevin Boss now that he didn’t catch a ball? Hmmm…

Premature E-drop-ulation: You don’t want to let go of a guy because of one bad week, but in the case of Kevin Boss, a guy that was probably a very late TE pickup for you, you might want to head in the direction of a Dustin Keller or possibly Greg Olsen. Either guy is likely to be available still and it doesn’t look like Boss is going to be as big a part of the Giants offense as Jeremy Shockey was. Plus, you don’t lose that much by dropping him. Contrary to this advice, I wouldn’t drop someone you were high on because of one lousy week. Dropping Eli Manning because he didn’t do much would be ridiculous. So don’t do it if one of your pre-season sleepers poo’s the bed in Week 1. 

Do Hate: People often won’t pick a player because they hate him, or the team he plays for. TO is a prime example. I’ve drafted with Eagle fans that won’t touch the guy. Defenses are the best. Late you can often pick up the Cowboys, Vikings, or Jaguars because so many people either hate them or care less about them. Take advantage of that. There are lesser versions of these guys on waivers right now. Just because nobody likes Brandon Lloyd doesn’t mean he’s useless – same goes for Antonio Bryant. Remember – at one time in their NFL careers, both of these guys were promising fantasy receivers, and it’s not as if they’re too old to get back the magic. Dream big, Hate as much as you want. Just don’t let it effect your fantasy cash winnings. Its true though, nothing is worse than hating your fantasy team and losing at the same time. I don’t suggest you do that either.

Dallas Does Cleveland: I’m not saying much about this except – watch. The Cowboys are going to do what the Colts did to the Saints to start the ’07 season, and many a people are going to be seen ripping out their hair because they put all their chips in the Brown doo-doo. Nobody likes brown doo-doo. But when this does happen, feel free to take advantage of those hair-rippers. Unlike you, most fantasy fans erupt prematurely like the apple pie kid. Week 1 and 2 are times where calm people build season-long dynasties.  

Don’t do that: While rooting for your favorite team to pull a huge upset, please don’t be the guy that says, “I want them to win this, but it’d be nice if Tony Romo would throw a couple more touchdowns before it’s over.” That’s just not okay. You are a football fan first – remember that. Be loyal and just take the fantasy game as it falls. Rooting for a 56-55 game is just plain hopeless.