2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 15

This Week’s Top Team: 140? Not quite, but I had a few guys that did some damage. 82 whole points… Okay, so I had a down week.QB: Kurt Warner vs. New Orleans: 233 yards and 3 touchdowns for Kurt – If I would have listened to myself, I would have started Kurt over Tony Romo and Tom Brady and won my fantasy semi-final game. As is, I just have to play in the 3rd place game. Cool, $40! 23 points for the old guy.

RB: Joseph Addai vs. Oakland: 9 points… The Raiders held the Colts pretty much in check, as Indy just didn’t show up. 44 rushing ayrds, 33 receiving yards, and 1 two points rush that almost got one of the most consistent backs in the league to double digits. Good lord, 9 points.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Detroit: 23 fantasy points for my man LT, in just over a half of football. That’s what I like to see, his backup ended up with more fantasy points that he did. Either way, 23 is nice.

WR: Terrell Owens vs. Philadelphia: 37 yards receiving, all in the last quarter I think. Definitely the last half. How can the Cowboys be this bad in a pretty important game? Well, I blame that hot girl in the box seats. 3 points for Too…

WR: Greg Jennings vs. St. Louis: 66 yards receiving and a 44 yards (long) touchdown for a total of, 14 points. You bet. Jennings has turned into quite the catch, and I love it.

TE: Antonio Gates vs. Detroit: Gates put up 1 catch for 8 yards. If you do the math, carry the 1, yes, that’s 0 points for the big guy, and his team put up close to half a century. Pass? Anyone?

K: Phil Dawson vs. Buffalo: 2 field goals, 7 points, once again, not a big day, but I couldn’t jinx the Browns into losing – a total failure once again.

D: Vikings vs. Chicago: 13 points from the Vikings, and had they given me 14, I would have won my semi-final game in my fantasy league. Jerks.


Trent Edwards: 5 points for Trent, and it was definitely my bad playing the youngster in a big ass snow storm that was almost painful to watch. 8-0 was the score – yikes. F.

Kenton Keith: This pick didn’t pan out as the Colts looked terrible, their running game looked terrible, and they barely beat the Raiders, so Keith didn’t get many carries. Damn. F

Frank Gore: 129 rushing yards for Frank, and so many people sat him because of his poor season. This kid is good, and he put up some solid points for me. B

Shaunna Alexander: 17 carries… 17 yards… Yeah, that’s one of those things you don’t want to match up. I hate watching Shaunna run, and I was definitely tricked into this sleeper selection. FFF

Lee Evans: He played in a snow bowl for a team that scored 0 and he still ended up with 40 yards – not too bad considering, but another bad choice by me. C-

Roddy White: 0 yards and 0 points for the top Falcons wideout – yes, the Bucs put a lock down on Roddy. F

Tony Scheffler: 100 yards and a touchdown, that’s what I’m talking about, finally! A+

Anthony Gonzalez: 86 yards and a touchdown for the rookie out of Ohio State – don’t be surprised when this kid steps right in and takes Marvin’s spot when Harrison is done. A

Buccaneers: The Bucs put up 26 points for me, and if I would have started them over the Vikings in my fantasy league, I would have won instead of losing in the Semi’s because of a tie-breaker… A+

LUCKY’S Week 15 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Eli Manning: He’s still bad.

Samkon Gado: 18 carries, 43 yards, a touchdown that helps his 0-for team get a win – I’ll just praise the young kid and say this, he scored more points that I thought he would, but 18 for 43 seems about right.

Laveranues Coles: Coles ended up playing like a snap, and broke my heart in more than one situation. But at least I was right on here.

Todd Heap: That whole, “He’s going to play” skit was a just a slap in the face for any fantasy owner that picked Heap high, held on to him all season long, and played him in the playoffs. He ended up not playing. What a sandy-panties.

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 14

This Week’s Top Team: The search for 140…. If this were a PPR format – that would be easy breezy! As it turned out, even with Adrian Peterson’s fat 0, my guys ran in and put up 137… That’s legit.QB: Tony Romo vs. Detroit: “300+ and 3 TDs… Anyone?” Well, it took him until his final throw to surpass 300, and he only walked away with 2 touchdown passes. He was no Tom Brady (39 fantasy points) but he was a great option racking up 25.

RB: Adrian Peterson vs. San Francisco: 14 rushes for 3 yards, well at least the 49ers made sure AP wasn’t going to beat them, while the did get destroyed all the way around. 0 pts for Peterson. Crazy.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Tennessee: He got a game winning rushing score in overtime, and also put up more than 170 yards of total offense and another score via the pass. He’s LT. He’s a 33 point champion in Week 14.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Pittsburgh: 135 yards, 2 touchdowns, one of them a 63 yarder for an extra two points…. 27 points for the big man. Yhatzee!

WR: Reggie Wayne vs. Baltimore: IN a game that was Anthony Gonzalez’s breakout contest, Reggie only managed two catches for 42 yards, but one of them was a nice score over the defense, and even though it was a blowout and he didn’t play in the 2nd half, he had a nice 10 point day.

TE: Antonio Gates vs. Tennessee: 57 yards and a game tying touchdown catch with just seconds to go. That’s the kind of day I was expecting out of Antonio, and he did it all with a bum wheel – 11 points from my TE.

K: Nick Folk vs. Detroit: My screw their team plan almost worked, but Romo’s magic ended my run and bombing kickers, even though Folk still just had 4 points. Like I said, never pick the kicker I do. Brutal.

D: Jaguars vs. Carolina: I picked this game right with the spread, and I pounded it out on the fantasy scoreboard as well. The Jags scored 27, and I walked away with a nice total, despite AP sabotaging my attempts to take over the world.


Marc Bulger: I like Bulger against the Bengals almost as much as I like Palmer against the Rams – and Bulger is a much bigger sleeper at this point.

Earnest Graham: I’ll ride this kid’s bandwagon once again -hell, I’ll drive the damn thing. Graham has been all kinds of great, and though he may not be much of a sleeper – there’s still leagues in which he’s a free agent – that’s just plain stupid.

Ryan Grant: This one is pretty easy – he’s a beast and he’s rolling up against the Raiders – aka – have your best game of the season, a coke, and a smile.

Maurice Jones Drew: I’m feeling a day full of magic from this mighty little fellow – and I say little lightly – lets be honest, 5’8″ and 215 pounds isn’t small by any means. That’s a huge short guy.

Sydney Rice: Much will be focused on the Vikings run game against the 49ers, and while they still won’t be able to stop it, Rice will get his chance to get deep on a few play action options.

Roddy White: He shouldn’t be a sleeper, but I just picked him up last week – and that’s absurd. Against the Saints, he’s got to be a top 20 option this week.

Vernon Davis: The Niners won’t be able to run, and they’ll have to pass to keep in this game – Davis is their best option. I’m not crazy about this pick, but he’s an option.

Mercedes Lewis: The only pass catching tight end option in Jacksonville, and he has an accurate and safe passer throwing the ball. That’s a good combination for a tight end that is probably on your waiver wire. Add that to his size and hands – you have to like this play.

Buccaneers: The Texans can put up points, but the Bucs have been good at shutting squads down all year long. I like Tampa’s chances against a Sage Rosenfell and Ron Dayne led offense. (I guess Andrew Johnson is the real leader, but he’s a WR, they don’t count)

LUCKY’S Week 14 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Eli Manning: Because he’s brutal.

Joseph Addai: The Ravens should stop him just like they’ve stopped every other running back. I sure like Addai though, and I know I can’t sit him – it’s just that I don’t think he’ll be good this week.

Justin Fargas: This young back has been dynamite since getting the starting gig, but I don’t see the Packers letting him run around much on Sunday.

Javon Walker: I like the Chiefs’ defense, and Walker has been slow to return from injuries. He’s still a week or two off, and the Broncos are still trying to figure their lives out.

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 13

This Week’s Top Team: 116 points – bad production from the bottom end killed me – defensive points, kickers (duh) and TE’s proved to be pretty worthless for me this week.QB: Tom Brady vs. Baltimore: Teams can’t run against Baltimore, but passing has come very easily. This should be one of those “pile it on” games, which Tom likes to throw 4 or 5 touchdowns in. Needless to say, I like my chances with this year’s fantasy hero. 21 points ain’t bad though.

RB: Brian Westbrook vs. Seattle: Westy had 19 fantasy points, but broke my heart when he didn’t take that punt return to the house. How does a guy not cut that back to the inside, instead just getting pushed out of bounds? I’m sure he’d like that move back. Anyway, he had a big rushing score and His 7 catches for 46 yards helped to. What a great season for Brian.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. KC: This fine TCU product excelled this week, putting up those stats I’ve called “LT stats” in the passed. 31 fantasy points is one of his best days of the season, and finally Norv Turner is begainning to realize how Marty won all those games. 177 rushing yards and 2 TDs – nice work.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Philadelphia: 34 yards and a touchdown, will the real Randy Moss please stand up? Randy didn’t do all the damage I expected, but his TD pass was a savior that got him to 9 points on the week. What about next week in Pittsburgh? They are actually good…

WR: Reggie Wayne vs. Jacksonville: 158 yards and a touchdown (a long one for an extra 2 points) – yeah, I’d say Reggie did 24 points of damage for me at the WR spot – gotta love that.

TE: Kellen Winslow vs. Arizona: Winslow only had 35 yards, but he did catch a 2 pt conversion, and he did catch a touchdown that was completely missed as time expired. I hate referees. How do they not call that a pushout? Fantasy be damned, I just think a guy should get the score he deserves, and the right team should win. Did that happen on Monday Night?

K: Adam Vinitieri vs. Jacksonville: “I just pick a kicker and that seems to make them have a bad week. So now, I’m picking kickers of teams I want to lose – it worked last week, here goes nothing. A Jaguar win in Indy would be nice, and it’d tie things up in the South.” Damn, the Jags didn’t win, they lost by a field goal – and not one that Adam kicked, because he only had 4 extra points. God, I hate kickers!

D: New England vs. Baltimore: Willis McGahee came to play this week, and the Patriots were let off the hook (as Dennis Green so kindly said) – I wanted to crown them, but the were let off the hook. 4 points against the Ravens – I’m not even angry, I’m just disgusted!


Kellen Clemens: Clemens only had 12 points, and against Miami – that just isn’t’ that good. Granted, he didn’t have to throw much in the 2nd half, but I’m not as impressed with Clemens as I thought I’d be. C

Earnest Graham: Another 100 yard game from this consistent little back, and another fantasy team for my team since I picked him up weeks and weeks ago. Talk about a great option. 19 fantasy points, and another A+.

Jesse Chatman: Jesse got hurt, so it’s hard to be fair – but he did kill me in one league, so I’ll just take an F for this call. I guess you have to be weary of those injured players.

Thomas Jones: 75 yards rushing, 25 yards receiving, and it’s about damn time, a rushing touchdown for TJ. He still didn’t look great, as Leon Washington almost matched his yardage on about 20 less carries. All in all, though, this was a good day for Jones’ owners. 15 points. A

Donte Stallworth: He only had 63 yards, as the Patriots didn’t look crisp against the Ravens. Baltimore came to play. Anyway, Stallworth was 2nd on the team in receiving with 68 yards, good for 6 points. I’ll take a C-

Nate Washington: 2 catches for 16 yards? Gross. F

Owen Daniels: 3 grabs for 42 yards – I hate to say it, but 4 points from a TE isn’t all that bad. I’ll take a C for this one.

Chargers: Once again, my second defense outscored my top pick, this time by 21 fantasy points. The Chargers shut down the Chiefs very well, and put up 24. That’s an A+.

LUCKY’S Week 13 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Rex Grossman: Hey haters! Rex had 296 yards and a touchdown without a pick. He still got sacked a ton, and probably cost his team with all those negative plays, but he didn’t turn the ball over. I was wrong, and he had a nice day despite all the sacks. 17 pts.

Laurence Maroney: Laurence didn’t do much on the ground, 13 carries for 34 yards, but he did make 2 catches and piled up 79 yards receiving on those two grabs. 10 pts isn’t that bad, and more impressive than I thought.

Warrick Dunn: 10 carries for 17 yards – all I have to say is, your welcome for that advice.

Deion Branch: 5 catches for 40 yards – is that the kind of production you expected from the #1 option in Seattle? I didn’t think so. Nate Burleson and Bobby Engram both had better days than the other Deion.

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 12

This Week’s Top Team: 100 on the dot – not good, but with some injuries and only 7 points from Randy Moss and Andre Johnson, it could have been a lot worse. Thanks to Tom Brady, I just reached the century plateau.QB: Tom Brady vs. Philadelphia: Tom wasn’t the best option in Week 12, but he still put up 380 yards and a touchdown. And he was good for 22 fantasy points. Still, there were 9 guys that finished higher than Brady, including AJ Feeley and Trent Dilfer…

RB: Joseph Addai vs. Atlanta: Addai was out for about half the game, but he still came back in to post a touchdown that upped his ranking this week. 5 points from yards and a touchdown for an 11 point week.

RB: Steven Jackson vs. Seattle: Jackson was held in check for most of the day by the Hawks defense. He broke one huge touchdown run, but besides that he didn’t do anything. He still posted 93 yards rushing, 15 receiving, and a long touchdown good for 18 fantasy points for me.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Philadelphia: 43 yards – Randy’s worst day of the year. Schucks auto supply!

WR: Andre Johnson vs. Cleveland: Andre only had 3 fantasy points this week, which really stunned me. I thought he was one of the best options this week.

TE: Kellen Winslow vs. Houston: “This Soldier will have close to 100 yards against the Texans.” How about 107 yards and a touchdown. Big day for the Soldier… 16 fantasy points from my tight end.

K: Rob Bironas vs. Cincinnati: “Does it matter? I just pick terrible kickers every week. I’ll guess I’ll go with the team I want to lose – hmmm…. I doubt they’ll lose, but maybe my bad kicker luck will keep them down against the Bungles.” YEAH! I have a tactic these days… Bironas had 6 fantasy points, but the Titans lost big to the Bungles, and I think I’m on to something here.

D: San Diego vs. Baltimore: 18 fantasy points for the Chargers this week, as they pretty much shut down the Ravens. It was a must win for San Diego, and their defense stepped up their game.


Kellen Clemens: 3 fantasy points for Kellen, and his Jets got destroyed by the Cowboys. So I was right and wrong, right that he had to put points on the board to give his team a chance, and wrong that he’d have a decent day. F

Earnest Graham: 75 yards and a score, Earnest finished just behind Chester Taylor, and once again put up a solid week filling in for the injured Caddy Williams. B

Chester Taylor: Taylor ran the ball for 77 yards on 31 carries. He did, however, put the ball in the end zone during the Vikings destruction of the Giants. His totals were good for 14 points on the day, and he was a Top 15 start. B

Edgerrin James: Edge had 8 fantasy points in an absolute shoot out. He posted solid numbers, 78 yards on 17 carries, a catch for 11 yards, but the fact that he didn’t reach the end zone hurt his total. Still, 8 points was in the Top 25 this week for running backs. C-

D.J. Hackett: D-Jack had 4 catches for 40 yards before he went out with an ankle injury. I’ll leave this one ungraded, but realize that an injury hurt my cause.

Donte Stallworth: Stallworth got the win against his former team, but he didn’t get involved that much. Wes Welker was the guy Philly left open, and he ended up killing the Eagles. Stallworth had 50+ yards, not a terrible day, but nothing to write home about either. D+

Tony Scheffler: “Against the Bears, I expect Scheff to get 60 yards and quite possibly a touchdown. He’s a tough match-up for that questionable secondary in Chicago.” Scheffler had one lucky ass touchdown grab, but what a job of grabbing it when he had his chance, great concentration. The Scheff had 20 more yards than I expected, putting up 16 fantasy points for me this week. A+

Chiefs: Just 8 points for the Chiefs, and they lost despite a 150 yard day from Kolby Smith… Are you kidding me? F just for that loss.

LUCKY’S Week 12 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Jason Campbell: JC still put up 301 yards this week, and he was ranked 18th amongst signal callers with 12 fantasy points, but he didn’t have a good day. All in all, he was mediocre, and I finish middle of the pack on this one.

Travis Henry: Didn’t play.

Wes Welker: Most catches and most yards ever for the little guy? You bet, I couldn’t have been more wrong unless he put a couple in the end zone. As it stands, I was just pretty wrong.

Roy Williams: Well, I hope I helped you out here. Roy had 34 yards and no scores once again. Has anybody realized that Roy hasn’t done shit since the Lions started losing? Maybe they should try to get him the ball next week against Minnesota.

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 11

This Week’s Top Team: Still going for 140+ – Damn! Just missed it, 138 points this week. Crapperoo!QB: Carson Palmer vs. Arizona: “Palmer is a very good and accurate quarterback” but apparently he forgot that on Sunday. 4 interceptions, 3 to one guy, and 2 returned for touchdowns. Needless to say, Palmer didn’t have a huge day. He did manage a couple touchdown passes and over 300 yards though, which gave him 17 fantasy points. It could have been so much better if he just stopped throwing the ball to Antrell Rolle.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Houston: LT’s 21 fantasy points rated him 2nd amonfst running backs. That’s what I like to see. Only Chester Taylor’s huge day one-upped the best running back in the game.

RB: Brian Westbrook vs. Miami: Westy didn’t score, but his 148 rushing yards still managed him 14 points for me. Not bad for a guy that went without a touchdown.

WR: Larry Fitzgerald vs. Cincinnati: 93 yards and a touchdown catch… Not to bad for one of the most consistent fantasy wide receivers in the game. It was only the 7th best day for a receiver, but it was still a nice 15 point effort. I’ll take it.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Buffalo: “Randy hasn’t had a 3 touchdown day in a while, and I know the Patriots had a bye last week, but he’s probably pissed he didn’t get a TD during the off-week. I expect him to use the youthful secondary in Buffalo.” Would you consider 4 TDs and 128 yards using a defense? That’s what I’d call it. And I’ll take every single one of those 36 fantasy points.

TE: Antonio Gates vs. New Orleans: 54 yards and a touchdown. He was 3rd behind Cooley and Donald Lee, two guys who each caught a pair of scores. Still, Gates remains a threat even with Phillip Rivers’ down season under center. 11 points for Gates.

K: Neil Rackers vs. Cincinnati: Neil’s team put up tons of points against the Bengals, but my kicker bad luck followed him into the game, and his only points came off 5 extra points. Gross. He did miss a field goal. Sorry, Neil, I won’t pick you anymore.

D: Green Bay vs. Carolina: The Packers had a nice pooch punt return for a touchdown, and they put up 19 points while picking off the Panthers a few times with a couple sacks, and a fumble recovery. It was a good day to be a Packer fan.


Jeff Garcia: Garcia put up the 11th best fantasy day for quarterbacks, finishing ahead of Eli Manning, Carson Palmer, Jon Kitna, Derek Anderson, Drew Brees and more. I’d give myself an A for this call, 18 points for Jeff.

Earnest Graham: 102 yards and a touchdown, that’s yet another consistent week from Earnest. That’s what I’m talking about! A

Chester Taylor: I don’t know what I can say, Taylor put 164 yards and 3 touchdowns on the ground, and had 30+ receiving yards. I hope you heeded my advice and used Taylor to get a big W this weekend. A++

Edgerrin James: 52 yards and a touchdown, the Edge just might be losing a step or two – in fact, he may “no longer have the edge”. Yeah, that was pathetic, but his 11 fantasy points were worth a C+

D.J. Hackett: Huge day for this kid. He’s a dandy, the best receiver on the Hawks squad. He was the 3rd best receiver catching a bunch of balls for 136 yards and a touchdown. 19 fantasy points – A+

Ike Hilliard: 1 catch, 14 yards = very bad day for Ike, very bad pick by Lucky – F

Todd Heap: Heap was out with vaginitas in his ankle – so I once against expected too much from the fragile Ravens tight end. F

Eagles: Held the Dolphins to 7 points – and that was a kick return. 0 offensive points given up by the Eagles D – They only put up 12 points, but I’ll take that for a team that was ranked in the bottom 6 teams in the league.

LUCKY’S Week 11 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Vince Young: VY had a huge day, 300+ yards for the first time ever, 70+ rushing yards, and a score on the ground and in the air – err – I missed this one by a couple hundred yards or so… F

Jamal Lewis: Lewis had an even better game against his old team this time around. Apparently he’s trying to prove something, and almost single handily willing his Browns to victory over the falling Ravens. F

Justin Fargas: Fargas was mediocre at best. He managed just 60 yards on 22 carries, but caught a few balls for 29 yards as well. His 8 points made him not a great start, but not the worst option either. I’ll take a C for this one.

Lee Evans: 4 fantasy points – 2 more than I figured from the extremely talented wideout. Evens got 40 yards on 4 catches, but needless to say, I was right about the Pats shutting the Bills’ star down. A

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 10

This Week’s Top Team: 76 points? Gross. This is how it went down.QB: Peyton Manning vs. San Diego: Peyton had 6 picks, and still managed 15 fantasy points. This was one of the worst games of his career – so I’ll take the 15 when I can get em.

RB: Willis McGahee vs. Bengals: Willis didn’t do much worth talking about. He did manage a late score and thus went for 60 yards and a touchdown against the Bengals, losing a must win game in Baltimore. They are done, I got 13 points out of Willis.

RB: Larry Johnson vs. Denver: OUCH! When I originally posted this, I didn’t know LJ was out for the week. Took a big hit here, obviously.

WR: Larry Fitzgerald vs. Detroit: As I said, the Lions had one of the worst passing defenses in the league. Larry torched the Lions for 74 yards and two touchdowns – good for 19 points.

WR: Reggie Wayne vs. San Diego: Reggie had 140 yards and a touchdown, good for 20 points. Nice work.

TE: Jason Witten vs. New York Giants: Witten had 2 catches for 12 yards – gross – 1 fantasy point.

K: Josh Brown vs. San Francisco: Josh had another bad day for my kickers, managing 5 fantasy points after hitting 3 xps, making one field goal, and missing another one.

D: Titans vs. Jacksonville: 3 fantasy points killed me out of the Titans. Fred Taylor (and more effectively) Maurice Jones Drew had big games against the Titans supposed Top Flight run defense. Not today, folks.


JP Losman: Losman through for an amazing 4 fantasy points. I’d let you know his real numbers, except seeing them on the screen is bound to blur your vision. It was bad, trust me.

Greg Jennings: Greg fell just short of a touchdown on a long pass play, but he did collect 6 fantasy points. I expected a lot more from him in a blowout of the Vikings, but

Santonio Holmes: 53 receiving yards for Santonio – it seemed like Big Ben was keeping his eyes on Hines Ward a little more often this Sunday, but Holmes will remain a big play threat in this offense.

Greg Olsen: 0 catches against the Raiders – now that’s a terrible day – hopefully he’ll bounce back next week.

Chicago: 20 fantasy points for the Bears – not that it was tough work, they had to shut down the Raiders’ pathetic offense. They did that – what do they want? A cookie?

LUCKY’S Week 10 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Phillip Rivers: -2… That wasn’t his golf score, so yes, he had one of the worst days of his career – and he’s had some bad days this season. Phillip needs to throw the ball harder.

Travis Henry: Didn’t play – so that’s a win right?

Ryan Grant: I missed this one. Grant had the best running day against the Vikings in ages, absolutely trumping Adrian Peterson, and making a name for himself as quite possibly a very good starter in Green Bay.

Alex Smith: 4 fantasy points for disappointing Smith – he underthrew a sure deep touchdown to Darrell Jackson on the team’s first offensive play, and after that it was all down hill. He didn’t take any chances, though, and thus threw no interceptions – that’s one bonus.

Darrell Jackson: Jackson had a chance to get open deep, but Alex Smith underthrew him and the ball ended up getting knocked down by the Hawks. That was it for DJack – he didn’t do anything worth mentioning. 26 yards? 2 fantasy points? That’s forgettable.

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 9

This Week’s Top Team: Without any Pats or Colts, and without a running back (Gore didn’t play) I still put up some big numbers. Not a bad day minus a guy. 127 points – think about it, that’s dirty.QB: Matt Hasselbeck vs. Cleveland: Despite his two turnovers, Matt had a grand day, especially considering the fact that Shaunna Alexander runs like a my little pony for God’s sake. Anyway. Matt’s 318 yards and two touchdowns were good for 21 fantasy points.

RB: Clinton Portis vs. N.Y. Jets: 196 yards and a touchdown for the big guy. Clinton absolutely carried the Redskins (on an off day) on his back to win in New York. Portis’s 196 was a great day, but 100 yards and a couple touchdowns short of the best Week 9 runner. Still, Portis’s 25 points were solid.

RB: Frank Gore vs. Atlanta: Frank Gore didn’t play. I thought he was a shoe in for this week, but apparently, sometime (Friday) after I published this section, he started to pull up lame and didn’t play against Atlanta. Hicks and Robinson (the guys’ who took Gore’s place) both ran pretty well, but I’ll just take a zero for this mistake.

WR: Lee Evans vs. Cincinnati: Lee did work, putting up 165 yards and a touchdown, good for 22 fantasy points. That’s legit.

WR: Terrell Owens vs. Philadelphia: TO did his work early and late, and he did a lot of it. He busted out 174 yards on 10 grabs, and had a long 45 yard touchdown, which racked him up for 25 points.

TE: Antonio Gates vs. Minnesota: Finally I pick Gates, and the cat goes for 1 catch and 10 yards – the Chargers weren’t ready for this game, that’s for sure.

K: Josh Brown vs. Cleveland: Finally I grabbed a kicker that put up some points. Brown had 3 short field goals and 3 extra points, tallying 12 on the day. That’s my huge FG day of the season thus far.

D: Chargers vs. Minnesota: The Vikings rushed for 296 yards against the Chargers… What? That was Adrian Peterson all by himself? Wow. I thought the Chargers could easily shut down the Vikings rushing attack, but AP came out after the half and absolutely diced up the Chargers for the best rushing day of all time. I still got a 109 yard TD, and 11 points from my D.


Kellen Clemens: My man Clemens had 226 yards and a TD, not to mention 48 rushing yards while he just missed helping the Jets pull an upset over the Redskins. Blast! (A Jet win gave me my suicide pool) Anyway, KC went for 19 fantasy points, and I get an A for that one.

Phillip Rivers: I don’t even want to talk about it. His receivers dropped 3 balls in the 1st half, and Rivers’ confidence was shot. But he just flat out sucked against one of the lesser secondaries in the league. F!

Earnest Graham: It took him all of 34 carries, but the young back went for 124 yards and a touchdown on the ground in a big Bucs win over the Cardinals. He also grabbed a couple passes for 13 yards. Graham’s 19 points give me at least a B+.

Kevin Jones: Jones didn’t get too many looks after the Lions started killing the Broncos, he only had 72 yards on 17 carries. But he did alright. Anyway, I’ll take a D+ here, for blowout’s sake.

Rudi Johnson: 9 rushes for 11 yards – yikes – the Bengals are now officially the BUNGLES again… F stands for Fantasy Failure on this one.

Deion Branch: He didn’t play, and since I said, He’s a nice option if he plays, I’m just going to take a pass here.

Chris Chambers: 5 grabs for 59 yards, not what I was hoping for, and I blame Phillip Rivers for most of it – he just isn’t throwing the ball with any velocity what-so-ever. C-

Tony Scheffler: This guy had only 46 yards,and his fumble cut his fantasy points in half. He did lose his starting quarterback in the 1st half, but still, not a good day for The Chef. D-

Titans DST: 25 points for the Titans – call it a win, chalk it up, a big day for my sleeper defense of the week. A+

LUCKY’S Week 9 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Brett Favre: Had a huge day!

LaDainian Tomlinson: 16 carries for 40 yards? Bad day for the king. He did score a touchdown, but if you had a solid #3 option, he should have been benched going up against the Vikings.

Reggie Bush: Had a huge day!

Roy Williams: 3 catches for 44 yards – this was a good sit if you had the marbles.

James Jones: 3 grabs for 32 yards, and Jones is officially the 3rd option at receiver. Koren Robinson might start cutting in to the rookies’ looks also – so don’t expect too much out of the youngster. Good sit if you didn’t ride the hype train.

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 8

This Week’s Top Team: I didn’t top 129, but 116 points is pretty good from my team of Fantasy Studs for Week 8.QB: Tom Brady vs. Washington: 41 points for Tom Brady. That’s what I’m talking about. Weird, he was once again the highest scoring playing in fantasy football. Like I said, I have to pick this guy.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Houston: LT had 90 rushing yards, but his low scoring day was the fault of the Chargers defense, a unit that scored all day, and gave the Chargers no reason to use their best player and risk an injury after half time.

RB: Brandon Jacobs vs. Miami: Brandon Jacobs had 131 rushing yards, just like I had predicted, but none of the scores I thought I’d be getting. He was the 5th overall RB during a slow week for running backs, something that’s becoming more and more of a consistent reality with all the huge passing numbers this season. Still, 13 points isn’t all that bad.

WR: Reggie Wayne vs. Carolina: Just like I expected, Reggie exploited the Panthers’ secondary, this time to the tune of 168 yards and 24 fantasy points in my league. Thanks Reggie! Reggie tied with Colston for 1st overall for WRs.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Washington: Randy only had 47 of Tom Brady’s 300+ yards passing, but he did catch one of Tom’s 3 touchdown passes, giving Moss 10 fantasy points for Week 8, good for 10th amongst WRs.

TE: Kellen Winslow vs. St. Louis: “Winslow is a sure thing for 8 fantasy points from the TE.” He wasn’t the best option, like say Antonio Gates, but like I said, Kellen got his 8.

K: Robbie Gould vs. Detroit: “I’ve been struggling with kickers (fade me) so I’ll be going with last years’ top guy. Yhatzee!” Talk about nothing. Dude had one extra point. Thank you, Brian Griese, for throwing interceptions right before each chance for Robbie to kick a football.

D: Giants vs. Dolphins: The Giants allowed a late touchdown, which hurt my overall score, but New York put together a decent day, good enough for 13 fantasy points.


Brian Griese: Griese was once again stymied by the Lions. I just don’t get it, maybe the Lions just aren’t as bad in the secondary as I thought they were. 6 pts – F

Alex Smith: He didn’t look good, but he tallied up 14 fantasy points in the process, not bad. I think Smith will play better and better as the season moves forward, but for now, I’ll take a B for his performance.

Fred Taylor: Fred had 24 carries, but for only 68 yards. That was good for 6 points, but not too good for fantasy owners. D

Brandon Jacobs: He did alright, I ended up using him as my top pick, and a sleeper – kind of ridiculous, I know, so I’ll take a C+ here.

Steven Jackson: Jackson did all his damage early, 8 carries for 41 yards and a touchdown, and it looked like the Rams were back offensively. Then the stud running back went down, the running threat crumbled, and the Rams lost. Still, Jackson’s 10 points were good enough for 8th amongst running backs. B-?

Hines Ward: “Hines “I’m gonna kill the Bengals’ secondary” Ward is going to show us why his middle name is an entire murderous phrase.” 2 touchdowns, that’s the kind of performance I was looking for. I should have picked Hines in front of Randy Moss for my top pick, oh well, I’ll take a solid ‘A+’ here.

Lee Evans: It’s about time, Lee did up the Jets to the tune of 138 yards and a long touchdown, hooking me up with 21 fantasy points from my sleeper who has been dropped in many a league. Good deal. A+

Greg Olsen: Olsen ranked 3rd amongst tight ends, catching a few balls for 59 yards and a touchdown. 3rd overall? I’ll take my A.

Titans DST: 3rd overall this week with 21 fantasy points in my league, not too shabby for my sleeper D of the week.

LUCKY’S Week 8 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Jason Campbell: Campbell’s 5 points weren’t quite as bad as how he played, but he did throw a last quarter meaningless touchdown with his Redskins down 52-7. I have to say, this wasn’t too difficult of a prediction.

Clinton Portis: Clinton had 11 carries for 27 yards, yes, normal teams can’t run against the Patriots. He did catch a handful of balls for 50+ yards, though – so his 7 points weren’t as bad as I thought, but they were still bad enough for you to thank me for telling you to sit him.

Cedric Benson: Benson didn’t have too bad a day, considering he only carried the ball 13 times. He had 50 yards rushing and 10 receiving, good for 6 points. Good enough to start? No, but not as bad as say, Lamont Jordan’s 12 yards rushing.

Donald Driver: 28 yards, two measly fantasy points, and his quarterback threw for 331 yards… looks like I lucked out with this one. Oh well, I’ll take it, he probably had Champ on him all night. That’s kind of what I figured. Pat on the old back, that’s right.

Marques Colston: This pick killed my whole “perfect” bench ’em section. Colston caught 3 touchdowns, killing the stupid fantasy owners who dropped the young touchdown maker. Silly fantasy owners. Silly me for doubting this sophomore star.

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 7

This Week’s Top Team: 129 points… This is the best week of the season – the whole Tom Brady thing is where I went right, but there was still one donkey puncher out there… Check out my sleepers – I put out one hell of a fantasy performance there. Also, I killed it in my “bench em” section, as even the high scoring Giant receiver didn’t put much up.QB: Tom Brady vs. Miami: 50 points for Brady. Yes, it’s possible. Rare for a quarterback, but in a 6 point TD league, with a bonus here and there for long passes to amazingly good receivers, Tom did the dirty half-century mark right in. Tom’s 354 yards, flawless passing, and 6 TDs were a fantasy quarterback’s best this season. So it’s only down hill from here.

RB: Thomas Jones vs. Cincinnati: Thomas Jones, on the other hand, was a pile in Week 7, despite going head to head versus a terrible Bengals defense. New York scored a lot, and needed to pound the clock to keep Palmer and company off the field, but Jones couldn’t get going for what seems like the 6th week this season. Ugh. 67 yards, 6 points.

RB: Larry Johnson vs. Oakland: LJ finished with 19 fantasy points, good for 2nd in the league this weekend. He had 112 yards rushing, 20+ receiving, and a touchdown on the ground. Not a big day for running backs, but I’ll take the #2 guy any week.

WR: T.J Houshmandzadeh vs. N.Y. Jets: Housh had one of his least productive days of the season, but still put up 40 yards and another touchdown. 10 points from my receiver, I’ve had worse.

WR: Chad Johnson vs. NY Jets: Chad had 11 points, reeling in a bunch of yards without a score. The Bengals didn’t torch the Jets through the air as much as I thought they’d have to, because Kenny Watson was doing work, he went for 3 TDs, stealing TD dance thunder from Chad.

TE: Jason Witten vs. Minnesota: “I think Witten will go for about 100 yards, and maybe even a score.” (Me) Well, he had the most yards amongst tight ends, going for 86, just under my prediction, but Witten disappointed fantasy owners by not bringing in a touchdown. He’s a TE, 8 points is a nice day for this group.

K: Matt Bryant vs. Detroit: Bryant only had 1 FG and an extra point – his 40+ yarder made it a 5 point day for my kicker. These padded soccer players are killing me this year, go ahead and fade me on kickers…

D: Redskins vs. Cardinals: The Skins didn’t get to tear Tim Rattay a new one, as Kurt Warner elected to start. That didn’t make me too happy, but the Skins still finished 5th amongst defenses, putting up 20 points in my league that rewards solid defensive play.


Chad Pennington: Say what you will about Chad Pennington, but I put him up as a sleeper, and sure enough, he came through in fine fashion. Chad dealt out the 5th best days amongst fantasy quarterbacks, can’t say much bad about that. 26 pts and an A+ for me.

Jeff Garcia: Sticking with my A+ theme in the sleeper quarterback zone, Garcia finished 6th amongst signal callers and hooked me up with 21 fantasy points. That’s better than either of the Mannings or a Brees….

Maurice Jones-Drew: JD had 12 fantasy points, good for 13th overall – but the Jaguars fell behind early, and despite getting a fair amount of touches, Drew fell short of my expectations. Still, 12 points, and a Top 15 RB finish is pretty solid for a sleeper – so I’ll take a B-.

Brandon Jacobs: Jacobs finished 6th overall this week, as he reached the century mark for the 2nd straight week. He also tacked on a touchdown, making those who listened to me a smart group. A+

LenDale White: The guy they call “Chubs” was putting in work on Sunday. Talk about grinding it out, White had 27 carries to get him 104 yards (the yards were tough to come by when the Titans were running out the clock) and his 4 catches netted him 22 yards as well. The goal-line back grabbed a touchdown to boot, and he nabbed a #4 spot in this week’s running back rankings. A+

Laurence Maroney: Maroney didn’t get starter’s carries, and I was once again fooled by the Patriot running situation. LM did take 6 carries for 31 yards, and looked good in his limited action, but if you were fooled like I was, I’m sincerely sorry. F

Roddy White: White was clicking on some deep balls from Byron Leftwich, catching all 8 balls thrown his way, for 110 yards and a touchdown. Good for #5 amongst wide receivers. That’s what I’m talking about – A+

Greg Olsen: Olsen reeled in a couple passes for 46 yards, which wasn’t bad for TE’s but not the big sleeper stats I was looking for, really. C

Seattle’s DST: My sleeper pick was #1 overall – that’s a good thing, and that’s worth an A++ – championship. And wow, those Rams are even worse offensively than I thought.

LUCKY’S Week 7 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Cleo Lemon: Lemon had just 12 fantasy points, and that was because of a big rushing touchdown that netted him half his stats. He played a little better than I thought, but he ranked 19th overall, making him not worth a start. Give me a B for this one.

Ahman Green: Green had 30+ rushing and 30+ receiving, but didn’t do much else. He got 6 fantasy points this week, finishing out of the Top 20. B+

Cedric Benson: Benson had 46 rushing yards and 5 total fantasy points – if you sat him like I suggested, you did the smart thing. B+

Javon Walker: Walker didn’t play, so this was an easy win for me. Apparently, the former Packer will be out of his Bronco digs for about another month. A

Plaxico Burress: “Either Plax has been playing too well or Nate Clements will be on him all day long. Either way, Plax is ready to bring it down a notch, those 8 touchdowns are a little out of the ordinary. Plus, the Giants will run the ball a lot against SF.” (Me) What can I say, when I call ’em good, I call ’em good. I was suggesting a benching of one of the hottest receivers in the game, and if you did, it paid off, Burress had 40 yards, and that’s it. A+

2007 Fantasy Football Review – Week 5

This Week’s Top Team: Oh, I don’t know, not a big showing, but not too shabby either. This is how I got what I got. 92+QB: Tom Brady vs. Cleveland: Tomothy had 265 yards and 3 touchdowns for a whopping 22 points in my fantasy league. Yeah, needless to say, this guy is consistent.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Denver: LT had 140 yards rushing and receiving combined, but that doesn’t do much without a touchdown. His yards per carry were questionable again, especially against a suspect Broncos rush defense (21 totes for 67 yards) but he definitely made his impact on the game. I got 13 points here.

RB: Marion Barber vs. Buffalo: MBIII put up a whopping 6 points against the Bills. He has his quarterback to thank for that one. He did only get 28 yards on 8 carries, which isn’t even close to average for him, but all those interceptions Tony threw ripped the Cowboys’ rushing attack, and I was hurt because of it.

WR: Randy Moss vs. Cleveland: Randy wasn’t used as much in Week 5. I guess his low day was coming, and in light of that, Ben Watson and Donte Stallworth both had big days for the Patriots. Randy had 3 catches for 46 yards, which means 4 points for me here.

WR: Plaxico Burress vs. NY Jets: 20 points for my main New York Giant. Plax found time to catch 5 balls, and break an easy sideline tackle on way to a 53 yard touchdown reception. He had 124 yards. Not a bad day for the former Steeler. He’s having one hell of a fantasy season.

TE: Jason Witten vs. Buffalo: 9 catches, 103 yards and a touchdown. Witten has become a beast. He was wide open in the end zone, but he still made a great catch that maybe 5 tight ends in the league make. No, Jeremy Shockey isn’t one of them, he drops it I’m sure. Anyway, 16 big ones from the TE spot – I’m a genius.

K: Nate Kaeding vs. Denver: Nate had 5 extra points and 2 field goals, one was 46 yards and worth a bonus point in my league, so Nate busted out 12 fantasy points. That’s now Kris Brown action (3 50+ yarders) but it is a nice day for a kicker.

D: Patriots vs. Cleveland: Lets see. They gave up more points than I imagined, but they did work. 3 interceptions, 3 sacks, and a late defensive fumble recovery for a touchdown. The Patriots put up 21 fantasy points in my league. All these points total up fairly nice.


Jason Campbell: Campbell put up a nice day against the Lions, 248 yards and 2 touchdowns without an interception. The Lions didn’t put up much of a fight, so there was no need for Campbell to really go off, but I’ll take an A for a very nice starting option on Sunday.

Panthers Starting QB: David Carr only had 6 points, and I know personally that my advice cost my cousin his fantasy game this weekend – if only he had started Jeff Garcia. How many times do you think people can say that? Anyway, because of my loss causing prediction, I’ll just take an F and run with it.

Julius Jones: Jones was hurt because of bad quarterback play, and coming from behind all game long. In the end, his 4 fantasy points give me a fat F. Dang.

Brandon Jacobs: 100 yards and a touchdown for a guy starting for the first time in 4 weeks. Yeah, I’ll take an A for this one as well. What can I say, sometimes I can pick em.

LenDale White: And sometimes I can’t. LenDale looks a lot chubbier when he’s only rushing for 36 yards and a fumble, doesn’t he? His 1 point performance hurt me, and I took yet another F – that makes two for Sunday.

Lee Evans: 1 catch 12 yards – bust anyone? I wasn’t willing to admit it earlier in the year, but Lee has played like a pile-o-poop. Hurry, if you can, I’d trade for him: I imagine that in the next 10 weeks he’ll be one of the Top 10 receivers in the league. Just a hunch.

Larry Fitzgerald: Larry balled on Sunday. He put the game out of reach with his easy touchdown grab, and that just seemed to make fantasy owners everywhere gasp for Fitzy’s first score of 2007 – hopefully for many, this opens the flood gates. 136 yards to go with that TD – I’ll take an A.

Chris Cooley: Cools had a touchdown and a 2 pt reception and put up 10 fantasy points for the Redskins. Believe that. 10 pts for a Tight End – I’ll take my A.

Cardinals DST: The Cardinals didn’t stop St. Louis like I thought they would, that’s for sure. But they did get 3 interceptions from Gussy Frerotte, sacked him twice, and brought a pick back for a touchdown. In my league, that gave them 14 points, and I’ll take a B-.

LUCKY’S Week 5 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Phillip Rivers: Rivers basically had his best game of the year – and that was a good day. He threw for 2, ran for 1, and passed for about 275 yards. Yeah, I failed on this one. But look at my benched running backs.

Shaun Alexander: “The Steelers will shut Shaun down. Alexander has been busy running like a pussy since he got his big deal a season and a half ago. I counted, and in 25 carries last week, he lowered his shoulder once. I think it was an accident.” Ha. This week Shaun carried the rock for 25 yards on 11 carries. He was so scared he would just drop as soon as he got the ball. Can you say cap-casualty next season? Believe that.

Jamal Lewis: The Browns’ starting runner lasted a couple plays, he got hurt and didn’t return. I don’t know if he would have had better stats, or changed the outcome, but I was right about this one.

Tory Holt: Tory Holt did what Tory Holt does; he got open, caught a few balls for nearly 90 yards and scored a touchdown. I missed on this one. 3 out of 5 – not too shabby.

Todd Heap: Heap was injured, but if you sat him based on my advice, you won either way. Freaking Heap, I think he needs to go play in the NBA or something, because here in the NFL, people play with thigh bruises. Lineman give each other thigh bruises before games just to keep each other honest.