Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 4

Fantasy Football Know-It-All

My goodness, I’m not positive (for weed) but I’m pretty sure Travis Henry is going to have a few people shedding tears in fantasy football this week, and not because he’s going to tear up the Chargers defense. Oh no. How absolutely mentally ill can some cats be? What is with the youth today? I’ve had enough, but here are your tear jerkers for Week 4.

Donovan McNabb: I’m not sure who to blame, but McNabb has a lot of talent to be scoring 3 freaking fantasy points. It’s a shame they don’t give quarterbacks negative rushing yards for sacks, because if they did, he would have had at least -30 rushing yards, and he could have been on the hook for zero fantasy points. Either way, McNabb isn’t getting it done for my team, and I’m imagining, that despite last week’s performance against Detroit, you’re not too impressed with the guy, either.

Darrell Jackson: D-Jack continues to be unimpressive on a weekly basis. Nice. Was this cat just the product of being the #1 receiver in Seattle’s offense? Or is it possible that Alex Smith and the 49ers offense needs Norv Turner that bad? I don’t know, but if Alex continues to play poorly when he gets back, and Norv continues to blow all that talent in San Diego, I’m pretty sure Turner could get “job-backs” and head back to Northern California. Isn’t it terrible when a move hurts so many people. If only the Chargers Brass would have kept Marty around.

Marc Bulger: “Mr. Marc “Underrated, everyone should pick him over McNabb” Bulger hasn’t had a very good entry to 2007, and I’m not sure if it’s going to get much brighter from here. Bulger had -2 fantasy points in Week 3, and looked Terrible, with a capital T. Another starting lineman down, and that makes 3 backups for Bulger, who is a very stationary quarterback. Think, one of those British soldier guys that never move all day long. Well, Bulger needs to improve if the Rams want to be anything close to what they were last year, and keep themselves out of the NFC West cellar.” (Me, last week) As you can see, Marc Bulger isn’t a first time offender either. Yes, this underrated man has been doing some poorly rated things. He did get better than last week, putting up 2 fantasy points, but I don’t think that’s good enough. He got benched, so I have a hard time seeing him outscoring 2 next week – he’ll stick to his two-week average, though.

Tatum Bell: “Bell was supposed to be Mike Martz’ new Marshall Faulk, and Kevin Jones was supposed to have a hard time finding playing time when he returned from injuries.” (Me, last week) As you can see, this isn’t a first time offense for Mr. Bell. As it turns out, Mike Shanahan wasn’t just trying to squash Bell’s career, he just isn’t as good a player as you would think he should be. Well, Tear Jerker central, Tatum is riding the train.

Terrell Owens: I have a feeling you won’t see TO here too many times this season. It was as if TO and Tony Romo got together and said, “Lets show teams that Patrick can do dirty work, so I’ll stop getting double covered,” and bingo, TO gets 3 fantasy points while Crayton goes off the deep end, torching fantasy football for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns. Well, TO made fantasy owners cringe last week, as his antics didn’t win many fantasy match-ups.

Ravens Defense: Not only have the Ravens sucked when it comes to putting points on the board and winning games against easy teams, but their defense has been average at best. Last week, against a very mediocre Browns team, the Big Bad Ravens D totaled a humungous 4 fantasy points. Nice work, now tell me they weren’t worth a 5th round pick… C’mon, tell me. They are so good, they are definitely worth that high of a selection. Defenses… Hahaha…

Chris Chambers: I’d blame Trent Green but, well, hell – it’s Trent Green’s fault that Chambers didn’t do jack against the Raiders, but I’m putting the up and down wideout up here because I’m sick of everyone telling me that he’s been so good this year. Expect more crappy games, and less of those nice, incredible, 100 yard outings. Trent is brutal, and he’s even older than I am – okay, not true, but he’s almost old enough for me to have picked on him as a kid.

(Also considered; -Todd Heap (3pts), Matt Leinart (3pts), Isaac Bruce and Drew Bennett (2pts a peice), Steve Smith (he’d be on the main list – 2pts – but I saw a little of that game, and he’s already mad enough that David Carr can’t get him the ball, it’s not his fault) and Jerious Norwood (I blame Patrino for that last one, what a dope)

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