5-9… Could it have been worse? Check out my Review and let me know what you think….
Following up my first losing week of the year was just about the worst Sunday I could possibly remember. It seemed like everything that could possibly go wrong did. Think Michael Jackson’s face after the sweet sounding little kid singer we all use to know and love hit puberty. Now the dude is as white as Vanilla Ice for God’s sake. That’s my pick set this weekend, Mikey Jackson after doctor visits teamed with Vanilla Ice’s career after Can’t Touch This. Championship! This is how, where, and for most games, why I went down the toilet.
Arizona Cardinals (+8) at Atlanta Falcons: “At first site, I was taking the Falcons all the way in this one, but history tells me I should head another direction. Last season…” Blah, blah, blah… Last season smashed season. At first site is something I need to get back to, because obviously history doesn’t mean jack flippin’ Johnson. Next week, I promise, no more “At first site this, after research that…” Anyway, the moral of this story is, don’t bet on the Cardinals, you’ll lose.
Dallas Cowboys (+8.5) at Tennessee Titans: It’s nice to throw in a win here and there… this week it was mostly here, and not so much there. Anyway, on weeks like this, I’ll take my wins where I can get them. Tennessee starting Vince Young almost assured me victory. I think Vince will be nice, but not the first couple seasons, let alone his first game. The Titans better be careful they don’t give any of their other players any good ideas… Albert Haynesworth got a 5 game suspension for stomping on Andre Guorde’s helmetless noggin on Sunday. Don’t be surprised if one of Al’s teammates decides he’d rather sit 5 games than get killed on a weekly basis. Another random act, I don’t know uppercut to the junk maybe, is very possible next week in Indy.
Indianapolis Colts (-9) at N.Y. Jets: I don’t mind that the Colts played like piss against New York and lost me money, but if they’re going to do that, they might as well just flat out lose, instead of pumping out two late touchdown drives to oust me and the Jets. It’s always tough to put money on a team you don’t particularly enjoy, have them win, and still lose your dough. These damn big spreads… I guess I’ll keep betting them until the ship sinks.
Miami Dolphins (-3.5) at Houston Texans: The Dolphins really suck. I can’t tell if they’re going to be this bad all season long, or just until I stop betting on them. Miami looked good late when they opened up their offense. Maybe Nick Saban will think about doing that next week against the Patriots. Or maybe, he’ll check my article this week, see if I picked his team or not, and then give it to me violently by going the opposite direction of my selection. I wouldn’t put it past him, I mean he did just coach his talented Miami team to a loss against the freaking Texans of all teams.
Minnesota Vikings (+1.5) at Buffalo BIlls: This game really surprised me. I didn’t think the Bills could win a game against a team that can stuff the run so well. But despite the Vikings run stuffing ways (Willis needed nearly 30 carries to reach 78 yards) Buffalo prevailed. Buffalo’s defense was amazing on Sunday. Chester Taylor had 10 carries for 23 yards, as the Vikings and their stud offensive line totaled 63 total yards on the ground. The Bills caused 3 turnovers and really surprised me by getting the win. I, of course, lost for the 4th time in 5 chances.
New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-7): This one was nice because I had the game absolutely won until Drew Brees threw an 86 yard pass to Marques Colston with 1:15 left in the game to finish me off, giving me my 5th loss. It’s hard work losing so many games, I mean, if I tried to lose 5 of my first 6 I would have been 5-1 at this point. Think about that. Crazy, huh?
San Diego Chargers at Baltimore Ravens (+3): My second win couldn’t have come at a better time. The Ravens… Wait just a second, it could have come with my first game of the day, or maybe 3rd, but my 7th game, that’s a damn terrible time for my 2nd win. But like I said after my first win, after a week like this one, I have to be thankful for any win I can get. The Ravens came back in the last possible minute, scoring 9 points in the 4th quarter on way to an upset over the visiting Chargers. Coaching hurt San Diego, but Baltimore’s defense was up to the task of stopping LT, who averaged just over 3 yards a carry. 2-5…. YEAH!
San Francisco 49ers (+7) at Kansas City Chiefs: The Chieftains rode Larry Johnson, and got some big plays from Daunte Hall to absolutely curb-crush the 49ers. Frank Gore fumbled again, Larry scored, and I took another loss right in the face. 2-6. If you don’t get the curb-crush reference, go rent American History X… You’ll understand soon enough. Betting on the 49ers is always risky, because they can make you look very, very bad.
Detroit Lions at St. Louis Rams (-5): The Lions played much better offensively than I expected. Luckily for me, and the Rams, their defense played like a bunch of 3rd grade soccer players. Imagine, a bunch of grown men running around the field in all directions, no unity whatsoever, allowing St. Louis of all teams, 2 touchdowns in 3 weeks, to put up 41. Once again, I thank the Lions for a victory, my 3rd of the week.
Cleveland Browns (-2.5) at Oakland Raiders: The Raiders were out to get me from the get go, but somehow they managed to lose the game, and the spread, and get me my 4th victory of the season. Thanks Oakland. After rolling out to a 21-3 3rd quarter lead, the Raiders stalled in the second half, gaining just 65 total yards in their final 5 drives, and allowed the Browns right back in the game. Two touchdowns in the 3rd gave the Browns a nice win on the road, in turn bringing me to 4-6. It didn’t get much better for me on Sunday. Yep, it got much worse.
Jacksonville Jaguars (-2.5) at Washington Redskins: Jacksonville got hurt late again, and pulled out of Washington with their 2nd close loss in a row. Reggie Williams was off the charts for Jacksonville, what a catch, you saw it. But Santana Moss was the man of the hour, touching the ball 4 times for 3 touchdowns and 138 yards receiving. What an explosive player. Speaking of explosives, do you think it’d be better to blow-up my broken down Ford Taurus with dynamite and try to collect insurance money? The Redskins and Mr. Moss took me for my 7th loss of the week.
New England Patriots at Cincinnati Bengals (-5.5): The Bengals almost played as poorly as the Seahawks. That’s right, you heard me, almost. I’d argue that Seattle played against a better team, so the Bengals might put up a strong argument for the biggest disappointment of Week 4. After leading the game, 6-0 after 1, the Bengals were outscored 38 to 7 in the next 3 quarters, including a 17-0 stint in the 4th. Where did Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson, Rudi, and the rest of the Bengals go on Saturday Night? Don’t ask Chris Henry and Odell Thurman. Just because they were out celebrating their day off on Sunday, doesn’t mean the rest of the Bungles were at the Bar with them, My 8th loss was painful.
Seattle Seahawks (+3.5) at Chicago Bears: The Hawks didn’t show up to play. Hasselbeck looked jittery in the pocket, even before the Bears pressured him, and his throws looked to aimed like darts. Whenever QB’s are doing that, you know you’re in trouble. It seemed like the Bears fed off Seattle’s poor play, as they absolutely dominated Seattle in every facet of the game.
Green Bay Packers at Philadelphia Eagles (-11): It’s always tough when you go into Monday Night hoping for your 5th win of the week. But I’ll tell you what, it’s a hell of a lot tougher when you’re hoping for win number 5 and you don’t get it. Right on queue, the Eagles came though in fine fashion, dominating the Packers throughout, as Donovan McNabb took the team on his shoulders with Brian Westbrook on the mend, throwing and rushing for 4 total touchdowns and 335 yards. 5-9. Ouch. Week 4 always seems to get me in the gotcha. However, Week 5 always seems to be a nice comeback performance for Ol’ Lucky. Stay tuned for my Week 5 picks!