If it comes out that Ben Roethlisberger is actually out because of a tummy tuck performed because he fattened up from eating all that ice cream after his accident, and not an appendectomy as was originally reported, then donâ€TMt say I didnâ€TMt tell you first. As opening day smashes home tomorrow in Pittsburgh, thereâ€TMs some dire football news that needs to be shared.
As far as the Miami @ Pittsburgh game on Thursday night, there has been an unbelievable swing in lines since Big Benâ€TMs “tummy problemâ€. The Steelers have jumped from a 4-point favorite to a 2-point dog. Thatâ€TMs unbelievable! Charlie Batch is one of the best quarterbacks in the last 10 years. I mean look at his numbers. In two starts last year, B-i-atch threw for 215 yards and an interception. The Steelers snuck out two wins against the powerful Packers and the big bad Browns. And people doubt this guy.
Itâ€TMs said that Clinton Portis might not make the start this weekend against the Vikings. If Clinton doesnâ€TMt play it wonâ€TMt be because he canâ€TMt, itâ€TMll be because the Redskins donâ€TMt want to injure their star runner when they expect to make a Super Bowl run. Iâ€TMve heard it through the grapevine that Portis expects to play. No promises, but donâ€TMt be surprised if Washingtonâ€TMs main man carries a load on Monday Night Football.
Speaking of Monday Night Football, and I never thought the cold day in hell would come, and I hate to say it out loud, but I miss Bob Costas and “gulp†John Madden. Ugh… It feels so wrong. Mike Turico has been great, and Tony Cornheiser isnâ€TMt painful on the ears, but if Joe Theismann never said another word the world would be a better place. How the sports geniuses that run ESPN picked this guy for footballs biggest regular season show is beyond me. Who said a mute button was useless?
Yesterday Brett Favre was heard saying, “If it comes to a point where the Packers do start over and I feel like I can play and they say, ‘Bret, if you want to go somewhere else, go ahead, But weâ€TMve got to start over. Itâ€TMs time for us to rebuild. It just doesnâ€TMt make sense, so do what you want.â€TM If I got the itch at some point, I canâ€TMt say no.†Brett. Come on my man. Your team has been in rebuild mode for the last 2 years. The real question is, will the Packers actually have to physically get out the heavy equipment, nail guns, and extension cords before Brett gets the picture?
People are jerks. All preseason people loved throwing Koren Robinson under the bus. Now itâ€TMs Chargersâ€TM linebacker Steve Foley. Personally I think its terrible to kick people when they’re down… But you know what I heard? I heard Koren and Foley are getting together as early as next weekend. Word is Korenâ€TMs going to get crunk and drive Foley around aimlessly waiting to get pulled over. When K-Rob pulls over and the cop gets out of his car, Foley plans to jump out of the back seat and kick the crap out of the unsuspecting cop. Sounds like a party!
As for my prediction for this yearâ€TMs Super Bowl Champs; Iâ€TMve got to roll with the Panthers. Thatâ€TMs right the NFC takes one home this season. I think the Hawks have a chance, but going to the Super Bowl two years straight is very difficult. The Panthers are my best bet. Defensively, theyâ€TMve become more dominant, and if DeShaun Foster can stay healthy, and Keyshawn Johnson plays up to his ability, Carolina will play on the final Sunday.
In other news, Mike Shanahan remains fantasy footballâ€TMs most wanted coach. When asked who the starter would be to open the season, Shanny replied, “Youâ€TMll have to show up on Sunday to find out.†Thanks Splinter, you’re so wise.
As I sign off the Top Shelf for the first time, and you get prepared to celebrate your favorite teamâ€TMs first victory of the year, let this friendly little piece of advice from my old friend John Madden marinate for a day or two. “Winning is a great deodorant, when you win everyone comes around you. When you lose no one does!†Brilliant!