PUSH me off a cliff!
5, multiplied by 100, hey, it’s 500! For the second straight Week I pushed, which is never a money making venture. It does, however, keep a little money in the bank to be dealt out amongst 14 NFL games in week 6. week 6’s picks will soon show their ragged faces, but for now, check out the hasty review of my .500 week 5.
Chicago @ Cleveland (-3) – (Winner) Bears 10 – Browns 20. Kyle Orton actually played pretty well against a stingy Brown defensive unit. Unfortunately for Orton, Thomas Jones and the rest of the Bears, it was Trent Dilfer who stole the show with under 4 minutes remaining. Two quick touchdowns and that was it, the Bears, who had controlled much of the game, took it on the chin in Cleveland.
New Orleans (+3) @ Green Bay – (Loser) Saints 3 – Packers 52. As it turns out, the Packers should be favored against someone… the Saints… and that’s it. Who am I to bet against Brett on his birthday? I blame my secretary for not telling me about the big day. The Saints made me look silly, and Brett looked young as the Packers walloped the Saints.
Tampa Bay (-3) @ New York Jets – (Loser) Buccaneers 12 – Jets 14. The Buccaneers didn’t let up, but time wasn’t on their side as Joey Galloway was tackled in the middle of the field with 7 seconds to go. Time ran out on the Buc’s. The big story was Vinny “Grandpa” Testeverde, who came of the sofa to steal a huge victory for the Jets, and give his former Bucs their first loss of the young season.
Seattle (+3) @ St. Louis – (Winner) Seahawks 37 – Rams 31. “The Rams always play well at home. Ha! That’s what they want you to think. Don’t let them fool you. They will lose to Seattle this week. There’s no question in my mind. Shaun Alexander will rush for over 100 yards without much of a defense to get in his way. When Shaun does that, the Seahawks win big. Take the Hawks to win their first game against the Rams in over a year.” What can I say? Like I said last week, from time to time you see genius. Finally I got the best of those skuzzy Rams.
New England @ Atlanta (-3) – (I’ll take the loss) Patriots 31 – Falcons 28. “Wait until right before kickoff to take this bet. If Mike Vick isn’t suiting up for the Falcons, the Patriots at +3 is a pretty damn good bet.” Vick didn’t play, but I would have gloated had the Falcons won, so I’ll take this close loss with humility and valor. Damn them Pats!
Miami (+3) @ Buffalo – (Loser) Dolphins 14 – Bills 20. The Dolphins took one on the nose, but it wasn’t JP Losman delivering the jab, it was Kelly “Buffalo Savior” Holcomb. “Buffalo Savior… Dread Lock Rasta…” I was listening to Bob Marley, but I wasn’t “hearing” him. The Dolphins were still in it late, but couldn’t outmaneuver the Bills.
Baltimore (+1.5) @ Detroit – (Loser) Ravens 17 – Lions 35. The Ravens have lost it. Complete Psychos. Twenty-one flipping penalties. Holy crap! Brian Billick isn’t the genius everyone thinks he is. The Ravens aren’t the team I thought they were. Will they be able to turn it around? After this debacle, I’m positive the answer is NO!
Tennessee (+3) @ Houston – (Winner) Titans 34 – Texans 20. “Look for Steve McNair to get some time to throw, feeding the ball to Drew Bennett for Drew’s first 100 yard game of the year. Chris Brown will also get a chance to shine against an average Texan defense.” I was a little off… Drew only had 99 yards. Can’t win ’em all. But you can win this one. Ha!
Indianapolis (-14.5) @ San Francisco – (Winner) Colts 28 – 49ers 3. The 49ers looked much better than I thought they would, but they never had a chance. Even with a blown call by the Zebras on Edgerrin James’ supposed fumble, the Niners couldn’t hold the Colts down forever. Alex Smith had a rough time of it, taking 5 sacks and getting hit at least twice as much as that.
Carolina (-2.5) @ Arizona – (Winner) Panthers 24 – Cardinals 20. What is the deal with the Panthers playing close games against every single team they face? The Panthers followed Steve Smith to victory in Arizona… but are they only 4 points and a late comeback better than the Cards? They’ve got to be more consistent than this!
Philadelphia (-3.5) @ Dallas – (Loser) Eagles 10 – Cowboys 30. “The Eagles are much better than the tumbling Cowboys.” (me) Tumbling Cowboys I say? Dallas made the Eagles look like a team full of Humpty Dumptys this weekend. I actually turned the channel to watch the Redskins-Broncos game. God help me! The Eagles sure tricked me in this one. Give Andy Reid a bye week to think about it I guess. Give me a bye week to think about taking the Eagles ever again.
Washington (+7.5) @ Denver – (Winner) Redskins 19 – Broncos 21. How can a team with a quarterback who goes 10-25 for 92 yards win? I don’t know. Brunell was sharp and efficient, going 30-52 for 322 yards, 2 TDs, and 0 interceptions. How did the Redskins lose this game? Clinton Portis even rushed for 100 yards. This one baffles me. One thing I do know. The Broncos didn’t screw me again! Mark Brunell’s late touchdown sealed the deal, taking me well within my 7.5 point cushion.
Cincinnati (+2.5) @ Jacksonville – (Loser) Bengals 20 – Jaguars 23. That damn half a point. It’s breaking my balls! The Bengals lost a tough one in Jacksonville for their first defeat of the season. They had to lose by 3…. Son of a bitch! Chad Johnson delivered CPR in the end zone to the skin of a dead pig, but he couldn’t get the Bengal’s heart beat again, as Carson Palmer fumbled the Bengal’s undefeated season away.
Pittsburgh (+3) @ San Diego – (Winner) Steelers 24 – Chargers 22. LT scored his touchdown, but it wasn’t enough to stop the Steelers from delivering a 4th quarter comeback victory for my first Monday Night victory of the season. Whew! This one brought me back to .500 on the week and finally got me that prime-time W.
A NUMBERS BET – Seattle (+3) @ St. Louis – (Winner) “The Rams have lost to the spread in 8 of the last 11 games they’ve been favored.” (me) Make that 9 of the last 12. Seattle did their damnedest to come out on the short end of the stick, but punt returner Shaun McDonald was stripped of the ball in the last minute. Watch out for the Rams though… I have a feeling Steven Jackson will continue to get the rock early and often in the weeks to come.
Big Bet of the Week – Washington (To Win) (+280) @ Denver – (Loser) This was as close as it gets to big money, without winning of course. I won the spread bet but lost the chance to win as Mark Brunell got his two point conversion pass tipped at the last moment. Tough luck! The kind of luck that’s coming my way much too often.
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks