2005 Week 17 NFL Pick Review

Just Enough!
It was a crazy week in the football world, but as interesting and exciting as ever. My 9-6-1 week 17 pushed me up and over the .500 mark for the regular season. It was up and down, as good as it gets, and down right awful at times. But all in all I came up on top of the regular season charts. Let the gloating begin!

New Orleans At Tampa Bay (-14) – Tampa Bay didn’t run over the Saints as I had imagined, leaving me to question if they can truly win a playoff game. We’ll see. I was down late, but a Saint turnover turned into just enough points for me to get my money back on this one.


Baltimore (-3) At Cleveland – ‘The Ravens have played like a real live NFL Football team the last two weeks. It’s really quite amazing. Kyle Boller has tempted Baltimore fans into cheering for him, while playing well enough to get Brian Billick another year coaching the Ravens. Will it continue? I have to believe it will.’ (Me) As you can see I was down right tricked by the Ravens. It started out just as I had hoped, the Ravens high stepping to a 13-0 lead. But Charlie Brown wouldn’t quit, and seeing as it was the holidays, he kept the Browns in it with two second quarter drives that ended in field goals. It was 13-6 at the half. As good as Kyle Boller was the last few weeks, he was at least that bad on Sunday. He was 15-36 with 151 yards and 2 interceptions. Horrible. Dennis Northcut’s 3rd quarter punt return for a touchdown sent the Brownies up by 4 to stay. Tricked!

Chicago (+4.5) At Minnesota – As I didn’t predict, the Bears didn’t start Rex Grossman. I thought they would start him because he’d only played 6 quarters this year, but I guess they didn’t start him because he’s always getting hurt and because of that he’s only played 6 quarters this year. Humph. Kyle Orton looked blah, as did the resting Bears. I hope it works out for them.

Buffalo (-1) At NY Jets – Kelly Holcomb had a Ryan Leaf-like 4 interceptions as the Bills just barely lost on the road to the Jets. A late kick return by rookie corner back Justin Miller pushed the Jets to 4 wins on the season, and right smack out of the Reggie Bush sweepstakes. But hey, at least they won, right?

Miami At New England (-6) – ‘The Patriots aren’t a team that sits their starters.’ (Me) As it turns out the Patriots are a team that does anything they want on a week to week basis and try as hard as can be to be unpredictable. Son of a bitch. The Dolphins won, ending a pretty good season where they finished 9-7. Nick Saban has these water mammals on the right track for next year.

Detroit At Pittsburgh (-14.5) – The lions actually played pretty close in this one, but are you kidding me, a half point, I guess you have to lose some by that small impossible point total. Joey Harrington ended his short career in Detroit with 3 touchdowns and no interceptions. Big Ben went for 0 TD’s and 2 picks. Willie Parker rushed for 135 yards while Jerome Bettis banged home 3 touchdowns in possibly his last home game.

Seattle (+4) At Green Bay – Seattle stopped playing their starters after Shaun Alexander scored his record breaking 28th touchdown of the year and rushed for 73 yards to capture the rushing title. Green Bay capitalized by getting Brett Favre a win in what could very well be his last game.


Denver (+11) At San Diego – This game was boring. The Chargers looked bad and the Broncos looked like a 2 seed skipping their way into the playoffs. Denver’s D came to play, and Mike Shanahan kept his starters in for most of the day. Thanks Mike!

NY Giants (-7.5) At Oakland – Jay Feeley, a kicker who has missed his fair share of big kicks this year, made a huge one for me a the start of the 4th quarter. The kick pushed me up and over a 7.5 point spread, getting me a much needed victory. Tiki Barber was awesome, rushing for 203 yards on 26 carries. Randy Moss had his biggest game of the year. Don’t matter, the Raiders lose and I win!

Arizona (+7) At Indianapolis – ‘The Cardinals have a ‘wing it deep’ motto with Josh McCowen at the helm. With Indianapolis in need of nothing, the Cardinals will take advantage with Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. Tony Dungy might be back on the field for this one, but the Colts don’t seem to win games that mean nothing.’ (Me) Well, Joshy Woshy had 297 yards while Larry Fitz and Anquan combined for 161 yards and a score. The score was just enough to cover me. I was confused about the importance of the win to the Colts. Every guy wanted to win one for Tony. That’s important.

Carolina (-4) At Atlanta – ‘The Panthers need to win this game to assure themselves a spot in the post season. Expect Deshaun Foster to annihilate the piss poor Falcon run defense on way to a Panther victory. Steve Smith will be extra motivated to produce after he had 18 yards while getting kicked out of the game last week. Steve’s the kind of guy to get some payback.’ (Me) Sometimes I really knock them out of the park. Deshaun Foster ran 18 times for 165 yards and a touchdown while Steve Smith had 9 catches for 131 yards and a score. Mike Vick was bad. Matt Schaub looked good in back-up duty. Hmmm… Quarterback controversy? Anyone buying that?

Cincinnati At Kansas City (-7) – ‘If I’ve learned anything the past two weeks, it’s been that the team with the most on the line almost always plays with more passion. Passion equals victory.’ (Me) This couldn’t have been more true. The Larry Johnson’s had a hell of a day. Larry finished the season with his 9th straight 100+ yard rushing game, and three big scores on way to a Chief route in Dick Vermeils last game. I’ll miss him… (Tears, lots of tears).

Houston At San Francisco (+2) – Well, Dom Capers found a way to lose. David Carr went down with the Texans up 17. After that it was all signs point to Reggie for the Texans. Capers carefully played out his game of Chess and ended overtime in checkmate. Unfortunately for him, that didn’t mean he got his job back. How rude is that? A coach does just enough to get Reggie Bush and he doesn’t even get to coach him. Frack!

Tennessee At Jacksonville (-3.5) – Garrard looked okay, but it was the Jaguar back-ups that came to mash the Titans. LaBrandon Toefield, Alvin Pearman, and Derrick Wimbush each rushed for touchdowns while Quinn Gray passed for two in the Jaguar route. Now they have to go into New England and upset the Patriots. No problem!

Washington (-7) At Philadelphia – With 2:16 left in the 4th, I had all but lost this game. The Eagles weren’t going anywhere, but the Redskins had the game in the bag up 4. Then my main man Sean Taylor picked up a stray fumbled football and carried him all the way to the end zone for an 11 point Redskin win. I win again!

St. Louis (+12.5) At Dallas – ‘By the time this game is played, the Cowboys will already be removed from playoff contention. Drew Bledsoe is slow and un athletic.’ Hey, I was right on all accounts. This game meant nothing to the Cowboys. That’s a good thing for them, because the Rams came in without their starting running back or quarterback and beat some Cowboy ass. It’s always nice to see a Cowboy loss, even if it did improve their draft pick. Drew threw 2 interceptions, didn’t complete half of his passes and was sacked like a little bitch 5 times by the Rams. He was hit countless other times, too. Here’s to another Cowboyless playoff situation! Cheers!
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 16 NFL Pick Review

Mr. Ferguson let me down!
It’s tough when Jesus lets you down on Christmas. Not only was Chris Ferguson wrong, but he took me down with him. In the end, I was accosted by animals all throughout the family loving Christmas weekend!


Buffalo @ Cincinnati (-13.5) – The crafty Bengal was the first to let me down as the mammoth Bill rammed me over and over until I couldn’t feel it any longer. To put it simply I felt like Jenna Jameson after a bout with Mr. Ron and his overworked friend Pedro. This one hurt!

San Diego (+1.5) @ Kansas City – Like I said, “Larry Johnson will shine in this game.” That’s that. Larry’s shine out shone “The best back in the league,” Ladainian Tomlinson. It pains me to suggest it, but if Larry started all year would he take the yardage in a season record? His 8 game stats suggest he’d be close. The Chargers let me down again, ending there playoff homes. There wasn’t an animal that hurt me in this one, but the Chiefs did a dandy job filling in.

Tennessee (+6) @ Miami – “I was thinking Miami, but when I went to the fridge I came back thinking Tennessee.” (Me) This just shows, always trust your gut, unless you fill it up with a bunch of three day old eggnog and some two week old chocolate pie. The Titans didn’t stand a chance after Steve McNair went down. The Dolphin was my enemy in this match, the crafty water mammal splashed me with his flipper then nudged me rather rudely right in the junk.

Dallas @ Carolina (-5) – Bledsoe was sacked 8 times, but the Panthers couldn’t pull it together and find Steve Smith for the game winning touchdown. What’s that? No one could find Smith? Oh, that’s because he got booted from the game because he grabbed the referee and shook his ass like the zebra-bitch that he is. That should be the rule. You fuck up a call you get shook like a bitch. Roll on Steve! Win this week and you’re in, that’s good enough for me. Shat on by a Panther. The animal abuse continues.

NY Giants (+3) @ Washington – Mark Brunell went down and I thought I had this one in the bag. I was wrong. Patrick Ramsey actually looked pretty good, but it was the Redskin defense that came out and smacked Eli Manning like the little pain in the ass brother that he is. Tiki Barbar didn’t get enough touches, but the Giants clinched a playoff birth anyway. Crazy Giants, those animals always come out and… okay, not animals, I know. They killed me nonetheless.

Philadelphia (+1) @ Arizona – This was a match of the birds, so I knew I was in for a treat. The Eagles stormed out of the gates like the Eagles of old and finished like the new loser Philly squad that they are. Ryan Moats broke my balls with 0 fantasy points and Josh McCowen came in and sniped the Cardinals a victory. This is something Kurt Warner had a very tough time doing all year. Coincidence? Yes. Birds will peck you to pieces, don’t be fooled by their soft feathers. They may eat like a tall, skinny, pube head, but they are to be feared!

New England @ NY Jets (+5) – “This time Jesus and I disagree. I don’t think the Patriots have anything to play for, in which case they’ll sit Tom Brady in turn giving away all chances of winning, even against the lowly Jets.” I was dead wrong and Mr. Chris Ferguson was right. That didn’t happen all weekend, just in this one case where I bet against the card shark. The Patriots scattered the ball around and the Jets never had a chance from the get go. Stinky nuts!

Minnesota (+3) @ Baltimore – Well if you weren’t tricked by Boller’s good game last week, then you were tricked again by the Boller-meister this week. That sneaky Californian! Boller might work out after all. Who knows, the Ravens might even resign Jamal Lewis after he ran some signs of life. All I know is, Ravens are dirty. They’ll eat garbage off the streets and steal your money right out of your pockets if you don’t move fast enough. I was slow. They jacked me up like Tom Jackson!


Pittsburgh (-7) @ Cleveland – “If the Steelers win out, they’ll find themselves in the playoffs. The Browns have played well of late, but there is no way they get in the way of the Steel Show making it to the post season. They just aren’t that kind of team. They’ll sneak by the Raiders. They’ll beat the Titans. They won’t upset the Steelers. Big Ben struggled to produce last week, but with the way his defense played he didn’t need to throw touchdowns. This week, Ben will attempt to get his cannon up to speed right before the playoffs.” (Me) Unfortunately for the Chiefs, I think the Steelers are ready. Ben looked good, completing passes to 6 different receivers without committing a turnover. Hines Ward looked good, and Willie Parker, Vernon Haynes, and Jerome Bettis all rushed for a score. Both Pitt and New England look good right about now.

Jacksonville (-6) @ Houston – “Throw out all history and all the previous games this season. The Jaguars need to win this game to assure their place in the playoffs. Sure, they played more like pussy cats than Jaguars last week against the 49ers, but that was last week. The Jags will dominate the Texans, just as the Houston should hope. Expect Fred Taylor to shine in a game he’ll be relied on to move the ball. David Garrard will find Jimmy Smith, Reggie Williams, and Ernest Wilford for a couple scores as the Jaguars pummel the Texans. Don’t be confused by a couple out-of-character games last week. These two teams will return to their old selves.” (Me) When you’re right on like this you have to boast. Garrard looked solid, and Wilford, Williams, and Smith combined for 238 yards and a touchdown. Fred Taylor carried the load to the tune of 22 carries for a 101 yards and a touchdown. LaBrandon Toefield had 3 touchdowns on 4 carries. Good ratio.

Detroit (+3) @ New Orleans – This game was just as bad as it looked. The only touchdown in the game was scored by a 6’5″ 365lb monster of a defensive tackle, Shaun Rogers. John Carney had four field goals, but Jason Hanson had two in the 4th quarter to sink the Saints’ ship. That’s all I have to say. The game was gross!

San Francisco (+9) @ St. Louis – “The 49ers are getting too many points to bet against them this week in St. Louis. Plus, they’re playing against St. Louis. St. Louis is responsible for half of the 49ers’ victories this year.” (Me) Make that 66%. How pathetic is that? Feels good to be a horned goat right about now doesn’t it? Little do the Niners know, but just like Jesus said, both of these teams lost on Sunday. The Rams lost the game and the Niners lost the chance of taking home Reggie Bush on draft day. Even with a loss to the Texans next week, there will be a team with a lesser strength of schedule with three wins. Idiots!

Indianapolis @ Seattle (-7) – Hold the Hawks. Seattle would win in a heads up game even if the Colts cared about the outcome of the game. Alexander’s going to be a Colt headache. (Ferguson) Like Chris said, this one was easy for the Hawks. A headache indeed; Shaun got his three touchdowns, now all he needs is one more to become the all time leader. Sweet Shaun! Take it to the bank. Then, take your own self to the bank and cash that new touchdown maker machine check.

Chicago (-6.5) @ Green Bay – “The Bears are a good football team. I made it on the bandwagon last week, and Jesus is on it with me this week. Hold this hand! These Bears might even win a playoff game with Rex on board. Ferguson is right. Rex Grossman gives the Bears a piece of the puzzle they have been playing without all year.” Rex can get the ball to off season signee, Mushin Muhammad and speedster Bernard Berrien. Kyle just didn’t have the experience to do so. Chicago’s defense is much better than the Ravens. How does that sound Brett? Brett Favre might go his fourth straight game without a touchdown pass. ” (Me) What can I say? I’m Brilliant Guiness style. Rex completed passes down field, and though he didn’t have a great game, he makes it possible for Thomas Jones to get better looks. Lets put it this way, if it’s 3rd and 5, the Bears can now choose to pass or run. Brett had a dandy, 300 yards, nice, how ’bout them 4 picks without a touchdown? Not so nice.

Oakland @ Denver (-13) – “Mike Anderson will eclipse 1000 yards in this game, making him the one billionth different back to gain a grand in Shanahan’s offense. Take the Broncos in what has the making of a shellacking.” (Me) The game only came down to a 19 point differential, but the Broncos were a million times better than the Raiders. Big Mike broke the grand mark, and the Bronco’s celebrated by clinching home field throughout the playoffs until they play the Colts (if that should happen).


Atlanta @ Tampa Bay (-3) – Push’s suck. It means you were just wrong enough not to win a dime and just right enough to say… “Ah, it was that close.” The damn Buccaneers couldn’t slay the three point spread, but Matt Bryant got my money back. Not bad against those horrible predator birds. They’re dangerous.
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 15 NFL Pick Review

Defeated… AGAIN!
Ugh! In a sequence of events that almost seemed destined to happen, I plowed through Week 15’s games to the beat of 7-9. What does that do to my overall record? It puts me even with the football gods. After 15 fun-filled weeks I’ve staggered un knowingly into the great bottomless void of .500. I expect to climb out of this place, but first, let me tell you how I got stuck here after all.


Denver (-9.5) at Buffalo – “The Bills are a terrible sack of rotting cow-manure. Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell should form an admirable duo in this one. Jake won’t make mistakes and the Broncos will play much better than they did last week.” (Me) The bills are better when Kelly Holcomb runs the team, but not good enough. Jake Plummer played mistake free football, while Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell combined for 146 yards and two touchdowns. Who knew?

Carolina (-8.5) at New Orleans – “The Saints’ season was over months ago, just like the outcome of this game. I would be surprised if the Saints get within 20 points of the Panthers. Carolina has too much on the line, and they’ve been looking forward to this rematch since their opening day loss to New Orleans.” (Me) So I’m a little surprised, the Saints only lost by 17. Either way, the Panthers are just that much better than the Saints. Steve Smith is a legitimate MVP candidate. He showed his skills by rushing for 20 yards and a TD and receiving for 85 and another score. He’s the best player on the field when the Panthers play. Deshaun Foster will have to pick up the slack if the Panthers expect to move deep into the playoffs, he only had 75 yards on 21 carries.

Cincinnati (-8) at Detroit – “The Bengals will bounce back from their most pathetic offensive performance of the season last week against the Browns. Watch Carson Palmer come back in fine fashion, making a late season push for the MVP award.” (Me) This was an easy choice. The Lions suck Chef’s chocolate salty balls and the Bengals are one of the leagues top 5 teams. Carson threw for three scores and Rudi rushed for two more. The Cincinnati defense intercepted Detroit’s savior, Jeff Garcia, three times. The Bengals are a damn good football team.

Cleveland (+3) at Oakland – A late face mask penalty by the Raiders’ defensive end Derrick Burgess allowed Phil Dawson to kick a game winning field goal as time expired. And the didn’t even have to spend a first round pick on him. The Raiders round one kicker was 0-2 on the day. Nice. The Raiders ruined a great performance by Lamont Jordan (172 total yards). But that’s what the Raiders do.

Pittsburgh (-3.5) at Minnesota – “The Vikings will find their streak ended by the Steelers, just as the Bears did. Both teams need this victory to stay in the playoff hunt, but the Steel show will out play the Vikings on Sunday. Their will be no room to run, and Brad Johnson won’t find the same success through the air. The Steelers don’t commit turnovers, so it will be hard for the Vikings to capitalize.” (Me) The Steelers committed only one turnover compared to three Viking mishaps. Brad Johnson barely completed half his passes for 143 measly yards and two interceptions. Michael Bennett led the Vikings with 43 yards on the ground. The Steelers made me look good, but Hines Ward killed my fantasy team with 11 whole yards.

San Diego (+8.5) at Indianapolis – “Unfortunately for the Colts, a pissed off Charger team will tromp into Indianapolis with their playoff lives at stake, and come out with a huge upset. A couple big plays on defense will surprise Peyton and the Colts.” (Me) The Chargers win, I called it. San Diego played like they had more to lose, and it paid off. There were huge plays by the Charger defense all day long. Manning was knocked around more in this game than his entire career and Edgerrin James couldn’t find room to run. The Chargers have some work to do, but they’ve got a chance.

Atlanta at Chicago (-3) – “The Bears lost last week, and all of a sudden their bandwagon lost a ton of weight. Well, now it has enough room for my big ass. The Bears will shut down Mike Vick and pound Thomas Jones into an Atlanta defensive front that couldn’t stop a gang of Care-Bears. The Falcons don’t match up well against the Bears, and that doesn’t bode well for Falcon playoff aspirations.” (Me) I was right about the outcome, but wrong about Kyle Orton doing just enough for the Bears. He did nothing. ANd so Lovie “The Genius” Smith put Rex Grossman in. Rex performed a little CPR on his squad of grizzlies as the Bears smashed the Falcons in their tracks.


Tampa Bay (+3) at New England – “Everyone seems to have hopped back on the Patriot bandwagon, but it’s going to take a lot more than a win over buffalo to get me on the rusty old thing.” (Me) Did a wagon just pass by here? What’s that you say? I can catch it in five minutes at the corner of 5th and Chestnut? I’m there! Tampa Bay’s the better team… HA! What was I thinking?

Kansas City (+3) at N.Y. Giants – Tiki Barbar was even more phenomenal than Larry Johnson’s 167 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns. Tiki ran for 220 and caught for 29. Ridiculous. Eli Manning continued his diarrhea fest, but the Chiefs didn’t have an answer for Tiki. The Giants defense stopped the Chiefs when they had to, all but ending any Kansas City playoff hopes.

Arizona (-1) at Houston – What in the hell were the Texans doing? Do they hold a tiebreaker or something? Do they know something we don’t? Maybe they know it’s better for their team not to take Reggie Bush. Even then, trading the pick would be the best option. Houston better come up with something these last 2 weeks. A Reggie bowl in Week 17 between the Texans and the Niners should be a feast of horror. Would you try to win that game? This game shows me how bad it’s gotten in Arizona. They can’t even beat teams that want to lose. The Cardinals were actually winning the game when Kurt Warner was lost for the season. It’s tough to predict injuries.

N.Y. Jets at Miami (-9) – I knew this game was going to be a tough one. Nine point favorites for the Dolphins is scary. Still, the Fins rolled off two straight scores to start the game, giving me a big fat smile. My smile quickly turned upside down when the Jets fought back with 17 of their own. Two more for the Fins put me up 7 and all I needed was a field goal with 10 minutes to go. I got one all right. Mike Nugent kicked it. And my dreams were smashed like Jacko’s nose.

Philadelphia at St. Louis (-3) – This was a tough game… to watch. Both teams just can’t field a varsity squad. Steven Jackson got hurt, helping my fantasy championship dreams demolish. THe same thing happened to the Rams’ chance to win. The Eagles won by a point even with 3 interceptions by Mike McMahon. Ryan Moats had another big game for the Eagles.

Seattle (-7.5) at Tennessee – After starting the game with 2 quick touchdowns, the Seahawks lined up for a field goal to put the Titans away early. Tennessee blocked the kick. Momentum switched sides in a flash. The Titans scored 24 straight points to put the Titans up by 10 late in the 3rd quarter. Momentum grabbed hold of the Hawks as Joe Jurevicius grabbed a Hasselbeck touchdown pass. Darrell Jackson made his return felt as he lunged for the final score of the game, putting the Hawks up by 4. That wasn’t enough for me though. Seattle didn’t get close again, and field goal wouldn’t have done it for me anyway.

San Francisco at Jacksonville (-16) – Jacksonville made this one much closer than it needed to be. This was probably the most disgusting game of the day. Neither team did anything to win the game, so the Jaguars just took it by default. A late field goal by Josh Scobee won it for the Jags. I missed the spread by 15 points. Not too shabby.

Dallas (+2.5) at Washington – I’ve never been happier to be wrong. The Cowboys were absolutely pathetic. (A late touchdown catch by Jason Whitten lost my fantasy playoff game for me – But at least I’ll have some buddies in Dallas watching the playoffs with me) Mark Brunell threw 4 touchdown passes, 3 to Chris Cooley, and Clinton Portis rushed for 112 yards. Drew Bledsoe looked like his feet were cuffed together as he was sacked 9 times by a dominant Redskin defense. Julius Jones rushed for 80 yards on 12 carries, but the Redskins took the Cowboys’ rushing attack away early. Dallas at 8-6 is nice!

Green Bay (+3.5) at Baltimore – Gado was hurt in the first quarter and with him went any chances the Packers had. Brett Favre just doesn’t have it right now, and he may never have it again. Brett threw one ball in the middle of three Raven defenders. There wasn’t a Packer player to be seen in the bunch. Brett threw 2 picks and no touchdowns. This is Brett’s worst 3 game streak in his career. The Packers lost by 45, making this game the largest point differential in Monday Night history. On the bright side, Kyle Boller tricked the Ravens into believing he could be a good quarterback as he had the best game of his life. Jamal Lewis turned back the clock, rushing for a buck-o-five with one score. The Packers fought their way back into the Reggie Bush Sweepstakes!
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 14 NFL Pick Review

Following Perfection: Is Always Difficult

It looks like I need to go back to Winnie Cooper’s doorstep. After one of the best two week runs in recent history, (28-4) I took a Kris Brown dive into a 5-9-2 week. I was worried about the hugemungous lines looking to trip me up, and as it turns out I had reason to worry. Surprises were out in full force, upsets went banana’s, the Colts went to 13-0. Take a quick look at my week 13 Review and find out why I went wrong.


Tampa Bay @ Carolina (-5.5) – Deshaun Foster didn’t do much, and Jake Delhomme did even less as the Panthers got demolished. The score wasn’t as telling as the actual game. Chris Simms wasn’t amazing, but Cadillac Williams rolled like an Escalade through the Panthers’ defense. The Buccaneer defense is back to the dominant team they were years ago with Warren Sapp and Derrick Brooks and the gang. Look out for the Buc!

Chicago (+6) @ Pittsburgh – “Don’t count out Big Ben though, even with the injury, he’s in his third game back, expect him to play mistake free.” (Me) This was a tough game for me, but it looks like I should have went with my own advice. Ben was flawless as the Steelers took it to the beloved Bear defense. Willie Parker ran tough, and then Jerome Bettis came in and plowed through the snow into the end zone. The Steelers gave me loss number two.

Oakland (-3) @ NY Jets – “The Raiders are horrendous. Kerry Collins sucks, and anyone who thinks it’s all Norv Turner’s fault is probably as drunk as Kerry looks on a daily basis. Does anyone else in football look like they’ve battled the booze more than Kerry? Randy Moss looks as sedated running routes as he does after an off-season run in with the Magic Dragon, and Lamont Jordan doesn’t get the opportunity to get out of the backfield. And that’s only the offense. Yikes. Luckily for the Raiders and their fans, they play the Jets this weekend.” (Me) I guess it’s not so lucky for the Raiders and their fans. When they lose to a team like the Jets everyone finally realizes how bad it’s become in Oakland. Norv’s job is over.

Houston @ Tennessee (-6.5) – Well, Houston continued to do what they needed to do to lose themselves into the Reggie Bush sweepstakes. All along I have thought the Texans’ were doing a great job of pretending to try and win games while continuing to lose. This week that was not the case. Kris Brown, one of the leagues most accurate kickers, had a 31 yard chance to tie the game. The ball was snapped perfectly, the hold flawless, the kick… about as wide left as you could kick it without hitting the independent party. Amazing. Should they have done it? Yes. Should they have made it look like that? C’mon, kick it low, get it blocked, something. Anything but that joke of an attempt.

Cleveland @ Cincinnati (-12) -Charlie Brown (Frye) has been the greatest thing to happen to Cleveland since the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. The kid is playing great, making many wonder why he didn’t get his shot to run the team earlier. It’s a shame that Braylon Edwards is out for the year, those two would be fun to watch. The Bengals couldn’t put the Brownies away. Cleveland led most of the game until Carson Palmer found TJ H. for his lone touchdown pass of the day. A game winning field goal for Shayne Graham won the game… for the Bengals, not for the Lucky Lester. Carson Palmer looked bad for the first time this year.

NY Giants (-8.5) @ Philadelphia – The Eagles did everything they could to win this game. But, their offense just didn’t have enough fire power to gun their way to victory. Eli Manning played like a pile of horse shite. If it wasn’t for Tiki torching the Eagles, the Giants would have fallen from the playoff picture. I can’t imagine the Giants playing well enough down the stretch to find themselves in the playoffs. They’re just not that good. Now I know.

Miami @ San Diego (-13) – “The Dolphins did two things last week. They showed me how absolutely terrible they can be and they showed their resilience.” (Me) It pains me to give myself advice and fail to listen to it. The Dolphins play tough football day in a day out. That speaks volumes for Nick Saban. In a game that meant the world to the Chargers, I just didn’t see a loss about to happen. Miami didn’t come to San Diego just to let the Chargers walk in to the playoffs. Now the Chargers will have to win out to make the c ut. Don’t look now San Diego but you’re flying to Indianapolis on Sunday. I hear they’re pretty good.

Baltimore @ Denver (-14) – I lost my 5th Jenna Spread-em game (over 6 points) of the week when Denver couldn’t find room to score against the Ravens. They still won, they just didn’t lead me to victory. That’s like getting punched in the face and kicked in the balls. I bet on Denver, they won, I lost. It hurts me more than it hurts you, I’m sure of it.

Detroit @ Green Bay (-6) – Both of these teams suck. They both sucked on Sunday Night football too. So at least they are both honest. Samkon Gado, and two decent defenses were the only bright spots on the field. If you haven’t heard the Samkon Gado story, listen closely. The kid could be a doctor, but he wanted to give the NFL a shot. He started 2 games in college at some little school. He’s started more games in the NFL, as a rookie, than he started in his entire college career. Stud.


New Orleans @ Atlanta (-10) – The Falcons made me a Monday Night winner for the 3rd straight week. It was an easy victory as the Saints rolled over after they pulled to within four on a last second touchdown drive at the end of the half. Usually that gives a team momentum. Not the Saints, they’re out to prove they never have momentum. They’ve convinced me. Note to self: Never Bet On The Saints!!!

New England (-4) @ Buffalo – “If Eric Moulds is indeed suspended, as reports have published, Belichick will find it easy to key in on Lee Evans. Look for the Patriots to blitz Losman early and often on their way to a Sunday victory.” (Me) Eric Moulds was suspended. Belichick locked in on Lee Evans and blitzed the hell out of Losman. Outcome? 35-3. Nice work to all involved.

St. Louis @ Minnesota (-7) – The Vikings defense dominated everything the Rams threw at them, and ran at them for that matter. Steven Jackson was held under 70 yards, and Harvard Boy couldn’t get anything done against Minnesota’s recently tough secondary. Will the Viking defense carry their offense into the playoffs? Talk about a roll reversal.

Washington (-3.5) @ Cardinals – “Kurt Warner will have another week where his picks outnumber his touchdowns, and Clinton Portis will have his second strong week in a row. Chris Cooley and Santana Moss will have big games.” (Me) Kurt only matched his single touchdown with a single interception, but he did lose a fumble, so I’ll give me that prediction. Clinton rushed for over 100 yards and a touchdown, while Santana Moss and Chris Cooley led the Redskins in receiving. You’ve got to love those half point victories.

San Francisco @ Seattle (-16) – “Seattle doesn’t have time to waste too much energy on the 49ers. Instead of allowing the inferior Niners to hang around all game long like they did a few weeks ago, they’ll come out with a mission to have the starters out at half-time. The Seattle Defense will forcefully slam Alex Smith into multiple turnovers like they did to Mike McMahon last week in Philadelphia.” 41-3… Last two games; 83-3. Shaun got his 100 yards and the Seahawks had this one in the bag by half time. This one felt good.


Indianapolis (-8) @ Jacksonville – This was a little bit painful. The Jags didn’t really have a chance, but then they got an onside kick and momentum jumped on board. I thought the Jags were going to pull it off when David Garrard converted the two point conversion. Then Peyton Manning came on the field and completed a 3rd and 7 to finish off the game. He’s too damn good! The Jaguars came back just in the nick of time to push me around.

Kansas City (+3) @ Dallas – This game broke my balls. As you all know, (If you are a weekly reader) I hate a couple things in football. Jerry Jones, Drew Bledsoe, and the Cowboys. Watching Dallas win behind a brilliant game by Drew Bledsoe was just like getting kicked in the balls. Kansas City gave their kicker a 40 yard opportunity to send the game into overtime. He failed. The Chiefs might have fallen right out of the playoffs because of it. Tynes pushed it wide right as I got pushed to a tie.
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 13 NFL Pick Review

I’d Like to thank Winnie Cooper

Or just a perfect week? The Colts might go 16-0, but the real story is, I already did. I must say, when you go 16-0, looking back on your own article feels like one hell of a pat yourself on the back fest. I give all my credit to Winnie, who just happened to be that little extra stroke of luck I needed to break out with the best single week record of all time. Yes, I went undefeated with a perfect 16-0 record in Week 13. Some would say “genius,” some would say “Lucky,” hell you can say whatever you want, the bottom line is Lucky Lester was the god of Week 13.

Atlanta at Carolina (-3) – “If Stephen Davis was still starting, I would take the Falcons, because there is no way he can pound the Falcons outside the tackles. In an intelligent move, the Panther brass has decided to start Deshaun Foster for the second straight week. Atlanta loses when teams can run the ball against them. This game will be no different.” (Me) Deshaun Foster started and didn’t disappoint. He ran for 131 yards and caught 3 passes for 50 yards. He scored two touchdowns leading the Panthers to my first of many. 1-0.

Buffalo (+4) at Miami – I knew I had the game in hand, and I was pretty sure the Buff were going to pull out a much needed victory in Miami. One of two ain’t bad. The Bills gave up easy completions by Sage Rosenfels, and Chris Chambers jumped up in the end zone, grabbed a touchdown pass from Sage, and fell down with the victory. One for me, one for the Dolphins. 2-0.

Cincinnati (+3) at Pittsburgh – “This showdown in Pittsburgh will be the weeks best game, but don’t expect the home team to come out on top. One more week for Ben Roethlisberger to find his touch, then the Steelers will start winning again.” (Me) The Bengals came through in fine fashion, taking down the Steelers in Pittsburgh 38-31 in one of the weeks best games. Carson Palmer was stellar, and the Bengal defense continued to find ways to get takeaways, causing Big Ben to throw 3 interceptions. 3-0.

Dallas at N.Y. Giants (-3) – “Drew Bledsoe is too slow to get away from the Giant pass rush that stymied one of the best offensive lines in football last week in Seattle. I never thought I’d say this, but the Giants defense will be too tough for the Cowboys to pull off the upset.” (Me) It hurts, oh it hurts, it hurst so bad to be this good. Drew Bledsoe looked like a VW Bug idling away from a Ferrari as the Giant defense ran a clinic on Bill Parcells Cowgirls. 4-0.

Green Bay at Chicago (-7) – “For the billionth time this year, Brett Favre’s interceptions will outnumber his touchdown tosses. Thomas Jones will pound the Packers defensive front into submission early.” (Me) Thomas Jones had 93 yards on the ground, and Brett Favre threw 2 interceptions an 0 touchdowns. My Uncle John chastised me for telling the world Brett would double up his TD’s with picks. He’s old, bitter, and old. Thanks for proving my genius Brett. 5-0.

Houston (+8) at Baltimore – The Texans lost, but really won. Yes, it is possible to do, especially when you have the worst record in football and Reggie Bush will be showing up at the ’06 draft. Houston has proven that they can play good football, they just haven’t come out on the lucky end of Sunday. The Texans played well within the 8 points they were getting, and managed to lose again. A win win. One win for me, one win for their draft. 6-0.

Jacksonville (-3) at Cleveland – The Jaguars started off slow, giving up two touchdown passes by Charlie Frye to Braylon Edwards. Then, they tightened the clamps. After the first two scores, the Jaguars never allowed the Browns to get close to the end zone again. The Jag D held Droughns to less than 3 yards a carry, and didn’t allow a single point in the second half. Garrard threw 2 TD’s, and the Jags ran the ball 36 times. Ah, it feels good. 7-0.

Minnesota (-3) at Detroit – The Vikings dominated the hapless Lions, even with Detroit’s savior, Jeff Garcia, back at the helm. Garcia completed less than half his passes, throwing for 0 touchdowns and 1 interceptions. Nice. The Lions went another week without a 100 yard rusher. Nice. Minnesota discovered Koren Robinson to the drum of 148 yards receiving. Pep liked the look of that from the owner’s box. The score was much closer than the game, but this was as close as I got to defeat. Whew. 8-0.

Tampa Bay (-4) at New Orleans – Okay, I admit, the Saints played closer to the Bucs than I imagined. Cadillac almost hit 100, but it was Chris Simms and Joey Galloway hooking up for the games only touchdown. Aaron Brooks sealed my 9th win with his 4th interception on the day, this one going to Rhonde Barber who pulled down 3 on Sunday. New Orleans is a bad football team. Never doubt that.

Tennessee at Indianapolis (-16) – “The Colts won’t slip up against the Titans. There is no way Peyton, Coach Dungy, and the Defense will overlook this match-up. The Titans don’t have a powerful offensive line. That will be exploited on Sunday in Indianapolis.” (Me) The Colts sacked Steve McNair thrice (forcing a fumble), and dropped Billy Volek once after they knocked McNair out of the game. Exploited? Yes the Titan’s offensive line way. The Colts didn’t overlook Tennessee as they skipped to 12-0, still on pace to go undefeated. Speaking of undefeated, this game took me to 10-0.

Arizona (-3) at San Francisco – “The Cardinals have really struggled, but they’ve found offensive fire power with Kurt Warner throwing powder-puff balls to Larry Fitz and Anquan Boldin.” (Me) Warner had 354 yards through the air as Larry Fitz and Anquan Boldin combined for 19 catches, 285 yards, and a score. Can I call it or can I call it? Alex Smith made the Cardinals defense look decent, as he was picked 3 times, and sacked thrice on the day. I stared off the afternoon with another W. 11-0.

Washington (-3) at St. Louis – “The Rams won’t get lucky for the second straight week… Not with LaVar Arrington making sure luck gets it’s ass pounded into the ground. There is no way the Redskins give up all those rushing yards two weeks in a row, is there? My bet is staying away from the Rams. Clinton Portis will have his best game of the year yardage-wise and Mark Brunell will find Santana Moss for old-times sake.” I’m telling you it hurst, oh, it hurts to be this good. I don’t have a glass ball or anything, I’m just pure genius. No gimmicks. Just genius. Got it? Clinton Portis missed his best day of the year by 6 yards. Brunell found Moss three times, while Chris Cooley got the touchdown. Oh, and the Redskins defense gave up less than 50 yards on the ground. I matched the Colts at 12-0.

Denver at Kansas City (+1.5) – “The Chiefs have more on the line at home against Denver, so they’ll play to win. Larry Johnson will rush for more yards than Denver has given up to any other back all year. And Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell will both fail to reach the 100 yard plateau. Just trust me on this one, the Chiefs need this game and Angry Larry will pull them past the Broncos.” First and foremost, the Chiefs won, taking me to 13-0. Second, Larry Johnson rushed for more yards against the Denver D, than any other player this year. And last and possibly least, Tatum Bell and Mike Anderson didn’t even combine for 100 total rushing yards. Genius. 13-0.

N.Y. Jets at New England (-10) -This game sucked. The Patriots won 16-3. It was 6-3 at the half. Nothing happened in this game, so there’s nothing to report. I won again, that’s always nice. 14-0.

Oakland at San Diego (-11) – The Raiders couldn’t hang with the Chargers. Shit, they couldn’t even compete for longer than a half. Down ten going into the 3rd quarter, the Raiders looked like they had already given up. And they have. Just as I predicted, the Raiders were one of the more pathetic teams on Sunday. LT had a decent but not spectacular game, as the Chargers weren’t forced to exhert any effort after the first quarter or two. It’s good to get a good rest in from time to time. 15-0.

Seattle (-4) at Philadelphia – “The Hawks will win easily.” (Me) Going into Monday Night I was sure I had my perfect week locked up. This was my easiest pick of the week. Usually Mondays are tough for me, but not this Monday. Shaun Alexander was shut down pretty well, he only had two touchdowns, but the Seattle Defense had 3 on way to shutting out the flightless Eagles. Perfection is sweet, enjoy it if you can, it’s always nice when your 13 game parlay pays out 100,000$, isn’t it? For 10 bucks a week it seems worth it, eh?


Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 12 NFL Pick Review

Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding! 12-4
Pocket Aces, Ace on the Flop, Ace on the River

Atlanta (-3) at Detroit -What do you know? Atlanta halted the Lion’s pathetic rushing attack, and they won another game. If the Falcons can shut down your runner they will win. Vick played solid football, but it was the rushing duet of Warrick Dunn and TJ Duckett that carried the rock to victory. To top it all off, Steve Marioochi was fired on Monday. Nice.

Denver (-2.5) at Dallas – Denver took me to a perfect Thanksgiving, which is ironic because my Holiday weekend was anything but perfect. My turkey fell victim to Thanks Giving football, spending an hour too long in the oven, which made everything taste like burning. Besides my kids fighting each other and crunching up their faces with every bite, my wife couldn’t stop making fun of how bad my picks have been of late and how she’s number one in her office pool (where spreads don’t matter, mind you). Needless to say I took Friday off to go hang out in the Stripper bus.

Baltimore at Cincinnati (-9.5) -Cincinnati started to dominate just as I had imagined, then Baltimore started scoring. I was worried for about a minute. The Bengals continued their offensive onslaught, and at the end of the game, it was my third win of the week.

Cleveland at Minnesota (-4) – The Vikings came out victorious in the end. How have the done it? I’m seriously asking. If anyone can tell me how a trade of Daunte Culpepper for Brad Johnson will improve a football team, I would love an email. I took the new found Vikes in this one, and I got paid. Mike Tice won’t get paid. Mark my words.

New England at Kansas City (-3) – The Chiefs needed this game much more than the Patriots and they showed it on the field. Tom Brady was intercepted 4 times by the new Chief defense. Three of those pics came by way of David Wesley. Nicknamed “OC” because he plays out of control, Wesley single handily made sure Brady had his worst day as a pro. This big time play could catapult the Chiefs into the playoffs.

San Diego (-3) at Washington – Ladainian Tomlinson. After the running back’s performance on Sunday, he’s got me wondering if he’s the best ever. I can sure understand why his coach would think that. In a day where kickers played like garbage, Ladainian made sure there was never a kicker needed to win the game. A stiff-arm followed by a sprint took the Chargers to victory. A touchdown covered for me also. LT for President!

San Francisco at Tennessee (-7) – What can I say? “San Francisco is starting Ken Dorsey at quarterback for the second straight week. Look for Brown to have a huge day on the ground.” (Me) Chris Brown had another huge day and Ken Dorsey was the starter for the Niners. Those are two things that just don’t equal out ot be a 49er victory.

St. Louis (-3.5) at Houston -“The Rams played like a pile of rabbit droppings last week.” (me) and they did the same thing this week. Luckily for their lucky asses, they pulled a rabbit family out of their caucux. When the game was 24-3, I told my Uncle John to “Watch out for these Rams, they’re the luckiest bastards on earth.” He told me they weren’t that lucky being down 3 touchdowns. Needless to say, he agrees with me now. After watching the Rams score and score and get an onside kick and score, then score in overtime to win it, Uncle John hates the lucky Rams as much as I do. Fortunately, for the second straight overtime game a touchdown gave me victory where a field goal wouldn’t have. Sweet Carl!

Jacksonville (-3.5) at Arizona – Byron Leftwich broke his ankle and the Cardinals still couldn’t muster up enough salsa to take down the Jaguars in Arizona. If the Cardinals aren’t the biggest disappointment this year I don’t know who is. Wait, yes I do, the New York Jets.

Green Bay at Philadelphia (-2) – The Packers just can’t win football games. The Eagles didn’t do anything particularly well, but Brett Favre evened out his touchdowns and interceptions on the year, and the Eagles took advantage. The 5 point victory in Philly gave me another win for my bank roll.

New Orleans (+3) at N.Y. Jets – “The Saints are out of any playoff or season saving chances, so theyƕre ready to start playing well. As it always is. Money in the bank!” (Me) Oh the Jets. Hopefully they’ll get a player in the draft that will turn things around for one of the most unlucky coaches in the game, Herman Edwards. If anyone knows the Saints, I do. They’re out of any race besides the race to move down in the draft. What does that translate to? Saint victories!

Pittsburgh @ Indianapolis (-6) – The Colts played well enough to win this game, but it was the Steelers who gave victory to Indy. An onside kick to start the half? C’mon Bill Cowher… Don’t piss away your chances like that. I would have liked to see Pittsburgh pull it off, but no one will beat the Colts playing like that. Big Ben was still a week away from being completely healthy with his timing back, and the rushing attack couldn’t penetrate the Colts ferocious defense. Those are three words I never thought I’d put together.


Carolina (-4.5) at Buffalo – Carolina came out with the victory, but winning by 4 points on a 4.5 spread game doesn’t work out that often. The Bills shut down the Panther rushing attack, even with Deshaun Foster getting the starting nod. Delhomme wasn’t on fire, and so the Panthers only scored 13 points. Luckily, they were playing a team led by JP Losman. What does that mean? Three field goals and they’re out. Won’t cut it.

Chicago at Tampa Bay (-3) – Cadillac Williams had 84 rushing yards on 19 carries, but it wasn’t enough to dismantle the Bear train. Chicago’s defense is ridiculously good, bringing comparisons to the great ’85 Bear defense. That’s a good comparison. Both are completely dominate up front with a stud in the middle. The Bears had an offense, so this year’s D might be better?

Miami at Oakland (-7) – Miami just lost their chances of taking home Matt Leinart or Vince Young. I guess they’ll have to settle for Marcus Vick. Miami upset the Raiders, though was this really an upset? With the Dolphins bring it to your face pass rush attack, wasn’t it assumed that Kerry Collins would have trouble getting the ball off because he has the slowest release in football? Ken Dorsey and Cody Pickett let go of the football faster than Collins. Oakland lost again and super star receiver Randy Moss had 3 catches for 28 frocking yards.

N.Y. Giants at Seattle (-5) – My last loss of the day came on a Seattle victory. Unlike the Rams and the Chargers, the Hawks didn’t score a touchdown in overtime that would have given me victory. Two out of three ain’t bad. What did happen in this game was, crappy calls against the Hawks and then an obvious showing of destiny as Jay Feely missed three makable kicks that would have given the Giants victory. Obviously the Hawks were meant to win, and if it weren’t for two suspect calls, they wouldn’t have needed 3 missed kicks in a row. But, they got them. Thanks Jay, God, and whomever else took the Hawks to 9-2.
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 11 NFL Pick Review

REDEMPTION SONG…. I need one of those.
I’ve got to be better than this. If all this reverse horseshoe, sticky
rabbit foot, mirror breaking, salt spilling, somebody peed in my beer glass but I still thought it was beer so I drank it anyway – stuff continues, I’m going to change my name. Lucky Lester doesn’t have the same ring to it when you can’t even win half your games. I mean shit, if I tried to lose 16 games I would have been 11-5 last week. This week was a little better, but just a little…

Carolina got embarrassed by the Bears, who should’ve won by more points, if it weren’t for dropped touchdown passes. Jake Delhomme looked like he thought the Bears were on his team, tossing passes off of Bear defenders early and often. Where is that Panther running game?

The Eagles played well without Donovan, but the cards weren’t aligned for me to win many games this week so they didn’t cover. They’ll get a win for me next week.

The Jags were up by 10 and I was in the money. The Titans scored a late touchdown and my money was with the bookie.

The Lions couldn’t do dick against Dallas. That pretty much sums it up. Loser!

You saw it, I saw it, the Bengals were the second best team in football on Sunday. My five points weren’t enough against the best team in the league.

The Patriots were up and covering, then they showed me why they aren’t the old Patriots anymore. Aaron Brooks fired a late touchdown pass to Donte Stallworth and the Patriots didn’t move the ball again, feeling satisfied with their 7 point win.

Arizona won by 10, giving me my first big win of the week. Hopefully there was more to come… there wasn’t much more. Kurt “I used to be really good, an MVP in fact, for the greatest show on turf in St. Louis, and I was a Super Bowl winner” Warner got his first win as a Cardinal.

Tampa Bay got me my second win of the week, but it wasn’t without a little pain. My good buddy Mikey Koenen missed a 55 yarder to tie it. He’s been awesome though, he’ll be back!

Washington played like…. Washington. What do you know. The Skins couldn’t move the ball for a single 4 down series. Gross. The Raiders were almost as bad, Kerry Collins still sucks. Randy Moss can’t even make this guy good. Tui! Tui! Tui! Show me something different then Collins to nobody off his back foot.

The Steel Show had a poop in the pants against Baltimore. And the Ravens win for the 3rd time all year… What do they win? A crap pie! And for me? A loan from the bank… ugh.

Huh… I had no idea the Dolphins could play so bad. Who would have thought that any quarterback in the league would have been such a downgrade from Gus Frerotte? They put Gus in with broken fingers for God’s sake. How bad is that? Droughns was a beast. He won the game for Cleveland. But why is Trent still in there?

The Seahawks were that far away from dominating the Niners, but they couldn’t pull the trigger. So what happened? They let San Fran hang around all day and the 49ers almost tied the game at the end of regulation. When will the Hawks ever learn?

I was reading my analysis of the Bill-Charger game and I can’t figure out why I took Buffalo. I hope my readers looked at my reasoning and decided to take the Chargers while making fun of my ignorance. That’s always a good wish.

The Chiefs game me win number 3.. 3? Fucking 3? Holy Crap! What a diarrhea week! Too much mexican food! Green Bay did just enough to lose it. That seems like an odd thing for the Pack to do this year. Reggie Bush anyone?
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 10 NFL Pick Review

I hate to say it, but I failed the Week 10 test. There’s just been a couple weeks that did me twice over. The pain has begun to travel into my fingertips, so don’t be taken aback if my writing tends to fall into the flagrant – personal foul category. BASTARD! Honestly, I don’t know what’s getting “Shit! Ass!” into me, I can’t focus. Dallas came back to beat Philly? Oh my God… My neck, my back…. OH… There’s only one thing to do, look at my problem picks and fix, fix, fix. If I fail to do that, I heard my wife talking to her mom about fixing someone. That can’t “BALLS!” be good.

All My Losers

Chiefs (+1.5) @ Bills – My best bet of the week went a little sour on me when Trent Green decided to throw three interceptions. Larry Johnson had over 170 total yards, but Vermeil seemed to abandon him late in the game. That silly mother. The Chiefs seemed like they were dominating, but never really took a chance at the end zone. Something that usually needs be done to win games. In a much needed game the Chiefs choked on a sack of buzzard balls, making me look stupid and them feel even worse.

Redskins (-2) @ Tampa Bay – Chris Simms was playing pretty well, but I was still very confident with the Skins up 35-38. “Idiot!” As if I was slung into a scolding hot fire “The Clap!” I started to feel burning all over. I flipped the channel to see what had gone wrong. It was still fine, it was third down and ten, the Buc’s were about to be had by the ‘Skins. And then it happened. Chris Simms, ala Brunell to Moss, slung a deep ball into the hands of this Anthony guy, and just like that the game was tied. Or was it? Oh no. The Skins had like 3 penalties and instead of going for one, Gruden went for two. “Son of a Bitch!” Alstot got way too much friendly buddy love from the zebras, and they called the conversion good. Fortunately someone in the booth saw that Mike didn’t get in. Unfortunately referees are a pile of stubborn stale rotten piss, so the guy in charge didn’t overturn the call. Now a field goal pushes me over. What field goal? “Whore!” I lose again!

Vikings @ Giants – C’mon… “Cock!” Who in their right mind saw this coming. I took the Giants giving 10 for Tice’s sake. With nary an offensive touchdown the Vikings still managed to outscore Eli Manning and his 4 wayward interceptions. Those bloody Mannings. The Giants pooped the bed, leaking some unnecessary residue into my already pungent diarrhea pile. I’m not even mad about this one. I’m amazed. The Giants ate an entire cheese log and then pooped in their bed. Amazing!

Cardinals (+4) @ Lions – Two words I thought I’d never see leading the Lions to victory; Joey Harrington. Are you kidding me? The kid blew up on the Cards, who seem to be playing a JV defense in all away games. “Donkey-Trout!” 3 touchdowns, all to Roy Williams, makes me think Joey might have a little hope after all. What’s that you say? Jeff Garcia might start next week? Oh yeah, good move Marioochi! Use a washed up, good for nothing, out of the league in two years, ugliest bastard in sports, Jeff Garcia to try and get your second straight win. Where do they get these assholes? Either way, the Cards lost another game with Warner at the helm, but I don’t think he’s at fault. He sucks, it’s true, but the ‘Zona running game looks a little more like the people running from the bulls, and a little less like the actual bulls.

Ravens (+7) @ Jacksonville – As if the crap stained weekend wasn’t bad enough already, the Jaguars scored more points against the Ravens than they’ve scored in a single game in a million years. How can I predict this shit? Kyle Boller gave the Ravens another reason to lose the rest of their games and attempt to smuggle Matt Leinart out of the draft. Boller took too many sacks and did nothing to help the Ravens win. What happened to the running game in Baltimore? Jamal Lewis? The Jags are for real, a playoff team, who needs to win the games against the teams they should beat. Like the Titans next week for example. That’s a must win.

Texans @ Colts (-17) – The Texans managed to stay just close enough to make me a loser in this one. “Somebody bitch slap me while I can still feel it!” I needed 17, I got 14. Sounds just about right. Andre Johnson didn’t do well. Dominick Davis didn’t play. The Texans still held tight. It looked like the Colts were doing whatever they wanted. Maybe Manning was shaving points? Hahaha… “Ass!” What will the Texans do with the number one draft pick? Trade it for an entire offensive line?

Broncos @ Raiders (+3) – So this is where Kerry Collins has been hiding. I was wondering where the drunk, interception throwing, back-foot leaning, testi-juggling quarterback had been hiding. Well, Collins had his new coming out party. Two cheers for Kerry! Hip, hip, blow it out your ass, Kerry. The Raiders need to trade Collins for a six pack, and then hide it from him until he packs his bags and heads out. Give Tuiasasopo a chance. Collins isn’t the answer in Oakland. The damn Broncos are good. I hate to say it, but Shanahan is a genius. He took the entire Brown defensive line and made them a great front four. Genius.

Browns @ Steelers – Speaking of quarterback changes. What is Romeo Crenell waiting for? A letter in the mail from the grim reaper telling Dilfer his time is up. No, honestly, Trent has played pretty well, but why not see if Frye, the rookie, can play this game? The Browns are going to have lots of choices come draft time, and if they feel they have an answer at the QB position, they’ll be much better off. Edwards needs to see more PT, and Frye needs to get a shot. The Steelers, on the other hand, could have won this game with Antwaan Randel El starting at Q. Seriously, the kid is something else. In fact, they might be better off with him in the game. Oh, and by the way, the guys on Sunday Night Football need to be pimp-slapped by Rick James, or possible Gilbert Brown. The garbage they were saying about Tommy Maddox was very inappropriate and unprofessional. “Fucking Dicks!”
Cowboys @ Eagles (-3) – The Cowboys flipped the script on their loss to the Redskins. Complete domination by the Eagles for 55 minutes of the game, but the ‘Boys came out on top. I can’t hate any outcome more. I want to see the Cowboys win like I want to see what Joe Theisman and Paul McGwire do with each other after the game. And to watch them win like this; bloody hell! The Eagles have really disappointed me this time. Beware of them if Donovan doesn’t start next week, they always do well with back-ups.

My Winning Few

Packers (+9.5) @ Falcons – Whew! This one brought me back to smiles, sunshine, and away from my moonshine. I definitely called this one to a T. Will this give the Packers enough confidence to run their conference and squiggle into the playoffs? Will Joe Theisman ever shut his good for nothing pie hole? No, and unfortunately no. But the Pack will never give up and could put a dent in more than a few playoff hopes. For example, an old fashioned crushing of the lame Viking playoff hopes next week on Monday Night Football is exactly what I’m talking about.

Rams @ Seahawks (-7) – The Hawks have really improved from last year. They get my vote as the best team in the NFC. Alexander has been playing very well, running tough all over the field, instead of only near the end zone. Hasselbeck is solid, and D-Jack will be coming back soon. The Hawks are getting help from everyone on their team. Back-up receivers are playing balls out and down field blocks are turning 10 yard runs into 25 yard scampers. I love watching Holmgren’s teams when they’re at their best. They were exactly that against the Rams. The Hawks continued to dominate their competition.

Patriots (-3) @ Dolphins – I didn’t think it was possible, but the Dolphins looked like they were going to win this game. It turned out it wasn’t possible. Still, I can’t believe how average the Patriots look… wait, yes I can. I predicted this business before the season started. Tom Brady continues to lead his team to victory in games they should be winning.

49ers (+13) @ Bears – This game was gross! But, I must admit, I called this one as well. Neither team did much. The Niners had 3 field goals, competed 1 of 13 passes, and had a total of 161 yards on the day. And they still only lost by 8. That’s because Chicago ran the ball just as much as San Francisco. They only had 13 passes too, but Orton completed 8 of them. One of the most exciting plays of the year, a 108 yard field goal return by Nathan Vasher put the Bears up as time expired in the first half. The Niners never recovered. I’ve never seen a windier football game. The way the wind took field goals was phenomenal.

Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 9 NFL Pick Review

7-6-1 What can I say? Better than 2-12…
What a week, what a week… The Vikings climbed out of the black hole they had seemingly slipped into and beat the roarless Lions. All around the league there were surprises, amazements, firsts and lasts, but leave it to me to come out of my jetlag in the nick of time, with a winning week following a terrible performance by team Lucky in Week 8. Wait, Hold it… Go; The breakdown…


Lions (-1.5) @ Vikings – Kevin Jones continued his gag-show ’05 season, and Joey Harrington looked like a sure 1st round bust as the Lions gave up too many too early, and couldn’t claw back to victory. The Vikings had their first decent game on the ground, and the “revamped” Minnesota defense finally stepped up to seal the victory.

Chargers (-6.5) @ Jets – Brooks Bollinger came off the bench to lead the Jets back within “breaking the bank” territory, and he almost didn’t stop there. Down 5 with minutes, no, seconds to go, Brooks Bollinger threw that ridiculous lob pass that never gets caught into the end zone, hoping his receiver would make something happen. The pass was incomplete, the Jets lost, the Chargers finally pulled out a close one. On the bright side, the Jets covered, losing me gobs of money… Hooray!

Titans (+3) @ Browns – After Reuben Droughns run-in with the law, he ran into the Titans to the tune of 189 all purpose yards, stepping up to lead the Browns over the Tennessee Titans. Chris Brown had another decent day, but it wasn’t enough as the Brown defense held tight in the 4th.

Raiders @ Chiefs (-5) – Holmes was a late-week scratch, but that didn’t scare me. Larry Johnson is for real! He played as well as I thought he would, doing it all on the last drive, and finishing off the Raiders with a diving score into the end zone. But it wasn’t enough, the Raiders found a way to score just enough to take the cash from my pocket. But wait… The entire Raider team left the field before the mandatory extra point, if Green just hikes the ball and walks into the end zone I’ll push… Damn! Vermeil must have not bet on the game… son of a bitch!

Colts @ Patriots (+3.5) – After a showdown in the land of Patriots, the Colts continue their rush for an undefeated season. The Colts looked good and the Patriots looked like their record, 4-4. It’s safe to say, the Colts have just abolished the Patriot Act. After picking the Patriots to lose in every Colts game the last 2 years, I finally took the Pats to pull out with a victory. It’s only fitting!

Eagles (+2.5) @ Redskins – I had no idea the Eagles were going to ditch TO. I certainly didn’t see them going the rest of the season without the leagues most infamous “team player”. Either way, I’ll take the loss because I would have gone with Philly anyway. McNabb will bring this team together, showing people why he is one of the leagues greatest players. Terrell will continue to do his best to get his paycheck, but the Eagles are done with Owens’ childish behavior… wait a second, if a child acted like this he’d get slapped.
PUSH – 1

Bears (-3) @ Saints – Push me this way and that, push me backward, push me forward. At -3 I knew this game had the making of a push. I had hopes as high as Method Man with the Bears set at 1st and goal at the 8 yard line in the final minutes. But to no avail, or Lucky Victory, they settled for three straight useless runs, setting up an easy game winning, Lucky pushing, Chicago Bear victory.

Bengals (-3) @ Ravens – The Ravens continue to struggle, this week without their top defensive playmakers, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed. From the sidelines it was all cheers and smiles from an injured Ray, but on the field Carson Palmer and his Bengals were the only ones with smiles. Palmer was an ideal quarterback again, and Rudi Johnson found enough room to keep the Ravens defensive unit honest. The Bengals won easily, 21-9.

Panthers (-1.5) @ Buccaneers- “Look for Steve Smith to continue his MVP-Type season by out-dueling a very good Buc secondary.” (Me) Though many experts predicted the Buccaneers would slow down Steve Smith, it was the real expert, Lucky Lester, who came out looking like a fortune teller. The Panthers followed their star receiver’s lead, clobbering the Buccaneers in Tampa Bay.

Texans (+13) @ Jaguars -“This week they’ll (Texans) assuredly lose, so don’t get ballsy and take the Texans to win for big money. However, I’m betting the slow it down, drag it out Jaguars won’t win by more than 13, giving me a rare Texan victory.” (Me) What can I say, one man’s genius can only be apparent so many times before he takes on the title of Genius… I’m not quite there yet, but for now, Lucky “Genius” Lester will do just fine, thanks.

Falcons (-2) @ Dolphins – The Falcons didn’t dominate the way I thought they would, but Gus Frerotte played just as poor as predicted. With Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown both playing well (Combined 22 carries for over 115 yards and a touchdown) Nick Saban put the game in Gus’ hands, and sure enough, Gus followed through in fine fashion, an interception that sealed his Dolphins fate. Thanks to all those involved, Gus, Nick, Little Jay Jay, Billy and the Kids, Uncle Joe, Shinaenae….

Giants (-10.5) @ 49ers – The Giants were much too good for the 49ers. Then again, Cody Picket was starting for San Francisco. What else is there? For those of you who took the Niners because Eli Manning had never won a road game… HAHAHAHA! What will you guys do next time the Giants travel?

Seahawks (-4) @ Cardinals – “Shaun Alexander should look like the Jamaican Bobsled team, having “Cool Runnings” all game long in Arizona.” (Me) 188 yards? Check. Multiple touchdowns? Check. League MVP? Half way through, you got my vote. A new pay check? If it doesn’t come from Seattle, it will come from someone. Alexander and Matt Hasselbeck are doing all they can to make Seattle a premier team in this league. There are no problems within the team, and the Hawks are not Humpty Dumpty. Stay tuned for a big game against the Rams next week.

Steelers (-3) @ Packers – I couldn’t believe the 3 point line in this one. I would have taken the Steelers giving 10. Luckily for me, they only gave 3 and I won instead of pushing myself along. Charlie Batch threw for 65 yards, and Duce Staley led the Steelers with 75 yards on the ground. They still won by 10, amazing. The Packers are pathetic.

Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks

2005 Week 5 NFL Pick Review

PUSH me off a cliff!
5, multiplied by 100, hey, it’s 500! For the second straight Week I pushed, which is never a money making venture. It does, however, keep a little money in the bank to be dealt out amongst 14 NFL games in week 6. week 6’s picks will soon show their ragged faces, but for now, check out the hasty review of my .500 week 5.

Chicago @ Cleveland (-3) – (Winner) Bears 10 – Browns 20. Kyle Orton actually played pretty well against a stingy Brown defensive unit. Unfortunately for Orton, Thomas Jones and the rest of the Bears, it was Trent Dilfer who stole the show with under 4 minutes remaining. Two quick touchdowns and that was it, the Bears, who had controlled much of the game, took it on the chin in Cleveland.

New Orleans (+3) @ Green Bay – (Loser) Saints 3 – Packers 52. As it turns out, the Packers should be favored against someone… the Saints… and that’s it. Who am I to bet against Brett on his birthday? I blame my secretary for not telling me about the big day. The Saints made me look silly, and Brett looked young as the Packers walloped the Saints.

Tampa Bay (-3) @ New York Jets – (Loser) Buccaneers 12 – Jets 14. The Buccaneers didn’t let up, but time wasn’t on their side as Joey Galloway was tackled in the middle of the field with 7 seconds to go. Time ran out on the Buc’s. The big story was Vinny “Grandpa” Testeverde, who came of the sofa to steal a huge victory for the Jets, and give his former Bucs their first loss of the young season.

Seattle (+3) @ St. Louis – (Winner) Seahawks 37 – Rams 31. “The Rams always play well at home. Ha! That’s what they want you to think. Don’t let them fool you. They will lose to Seattle this week. There’s no question in my mind. Shaun Alexander will rush for over 100 yards without much of a defense to get in his way. When Shaun does that, the Seahawks win big. Take the Hawks to win their first game against the Rams in over a year.” What can I say? Like I said last week, from time to time you see genius. Finally I got the best of those skuzzy Rams.

New England @ Atlanta (-3) – (I’ll take the loss) Patriots 31 – Falcons 28. “Wait until right before kickoff to take this bet. If Mike Vick isn’t suiting up for the Falcons, the Patriots at +3 is a pretty damn good bet.” Vick didn’t play, but I would have gloated had the Falcons won, so I’ll take this close loss with humility and valor. Damn them Pats!

Miami (+3) @ Buffalo – (Loser) Dolphins 14 – Bills 20. The Dolphins took one on the nose, but it wasn’t JP Losman delivering the jab, it was Kelly “Buffalo Savior” Holcomb. “Buffalo Savior… Dread Lock Rasta…” I was listening to Bob Marley, but I wasn’t “hearing” him. The Dolphins were still in it late, but couldn’t outmaneuver the Bills.

Baltimore (+1.5) @ Detroit – (Loser) Ravens 17 – Lions 35. The Ravens have lost it. Complete Psychos. Twenty-one flipping penalties. Holy crap! Brian Billick isn’t the genius everyone thinks he is. The Ravens aren’t the team I thought they were. Will they be able to turn it around? After this debacle, I’m positive the answer is NO!

Tennessee (+3) @ Houston – (Winner) Titans 34 – Texans 20. “Look for Steve McNair to get some time to throw, feeding the ball to Drew Bennett for Drew’s first 100 yard game of the year. Chris Brown will also get a chance to shine against an average Texan defense.” I was a little off… Drew only had 99 yards. Can’t win ’em all. But you can win this one. Ha!

Indianapolis (-14.5) @ San Francisco – (Winner) Colts 28 – 49ers 3. The 49ers looked much better than I thought they would, but they never had a chance. Even with a blown call by the Zebras on Edgerrin James’ supposed fumble, the Niners couldn’t hold the Colts down forever. Alex Smith had a rough time of it, taking 5 sacks and getting hit at least twice as much as that.

Carolina (-2.5) @ Arizona – (Winner) Panthers 24 – Cardinals 20. What is the deal with the Panthers playing close games against every single team they face? The Panthers followed Steve Smith to victory in Arizona… but are they only 4 points and a late comeback better than the Cards? They’ve got to be more consistent than this!

Philadelphia (-3.5) @ Dallas – (Loser) Eagles 10 – Cowboys 30. “The Eagles are much better than the tumbling Cowboys.” (me) Tumbling Cowboys I say? Dallas made the Eagles look like a team full of Humpty Dumptys this weekend. I actually turned the channel to watch the Redskins-Broncos game. God help me! The Eagles sure tricked me in this one. Give Andy Reid a bye week to think about it I guess. Give me a bye week to think about taking the Eagles ever again.

Washington (+7.5) @ Denver – (Winner) Redskins 19 – Broncos 21. How can a team with a quarterback who goes 10-25 for 92 yards win? I don’t know. Brunell was sharp and efficient, going 30-52 for 322 yards, 2 TDs, and 0 interceptions. How did the Redskins lose this game? Clinton Portis even rushed for 100 yards. This one baffles me. One thing I do know. The Broncos didn’t screw me again! Mark Brunell’s late touchdown sealed the deal, taking me well within my 7.5 point cushion.

Cincinnati (+2.5) @ Jacksonville – (Loser) Bengals 20 – Jaguars 23. That damn half a point. It’s breaking my balls! The Bengals lost a tough one in Jacksonville for their first defeat of the season. They had to lose by 3…. Son of a bitch! Chad Johnson delivered CPR in the end zone to the skin of a dead pig, but he couldn’t get the Bengal’s heart beat again, as Carson Palmer fumbled the Bengal’s undefeated season away.

Pittsburgh (+3) @ San Diego – (Winner) Steelers 24 – Chargers 22. LT scored his touchdown, but it wasn’t enough to stop the Steelers from delivering a 4th quarter comeback victory for my first Monday Night victory of the season. Whew! This one brought me back to .500 on the week and finally got me that prime-time W.
A NUMBERS BET – Seattle (+3) @ St. Louis – (Winner) “The Rams have lost to the spread in 8 of the last 11 games they’ve been favored.” (me) Make that 9 of the last 12. Seattle did their damnedest to come out on the short end of the stick, but punt returner Shaun McDonald was stripped of the ball in the last minute. Watch out for the Rams though… I have a feeling Steven Jackson will continue to get the rock early and often in the weeks to come.

Big Bet of the Week – Washington (To Win) (+280) @ Denver – (Loser) This was as close as it gets to big money, without winning of course. I won the spread bet but lost the chance to win as Mark Brunell got his two point conversion pass tipped at the last moment. Tough luck! The kind of luck that’s coming my way much too often.
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks