Fantasy Super Bowl: And Quotes from the Sofa

Well, the fantasy Superbowls (in most leagues) came and went, and those of you that picked up Dominic Rhodes and started him, those folks that kept going with DeAngelo Williams against a tough Giants defense, the guys that said hell yes to the Tarvaris Jacksons, Tyler Thigpens, and Isaac Bruces – good on ya! Those of you that hung your chances on the maybe injured souls of Brandon Jacobs and Derrick Ward, they both did magic tricks – Ward with yardage and Jacobs with touchdowns. Even those that had to choose between LeRon McClain and Willis – no matter what, your choice worked out. But those that rested their Championship dreams on recently added new faces like Deshaun Foster, Deion Branch, Caddy Williams, Dan Orlovsky or old fantasy studs like Marion Barber, Joseph Addai, Kurt Warner, and Willie Parker – I feel for you. I really, really do. Who knew Addai would suit up and not play? Not me – that’s for sure. I would have started Rhodes in one league, and I would have sat Addai in another. But life, and fantasy, they are both full of these choices. For those that won, let this be a celebration. For those that lost, let this brighten your snowy, sunless days. Here are some quotes from the sofa that caught my attention…

During the morning game…

“Why are they making me watch this? It’s 47-0!!! I hate cable TV!!!”

“If I see another damn infomercial I’m going to punch Martin Gramatica in the mouth, then Tony Harding that knee of his brother’s.”

During the Jets Game…

“I bet Laveranues Coles would have caught that ball if Chad Pennington would have thrown it.”

“Maybe they should have kept Chad Pennington, or maybe they should trade Chad for Brett in the offseason.” (Thanks FOX)

“Do you think Man-jina realizes that his team has won every game that Thomas Jones carries the ball more than 20 times?”

“Do you think Man-jina is trying to lose this game, his job, and his wife?”

“If you aren’t sure that your kicker can make a 50 yarder, but then he gets a free trial run and busts one through the uprights that would be good from 60+, is it fair to say that you should get fired for then deciding to punt?”

During the Broncos game…

“Hahahaha – now they have to play a Chargers team playing their best football all year, in San Diego. Awesome. I bet Splinter is going to put his Ninja Turtles through so much Ninja training.”

During the Eagles game…

“Are Andy Reid and Eric Man-jina going to the same psychiatrist?”

“Playing not to lose is like playing the prevent with 4 minutes left in the game while you’re up 2.”

“If the Eagles score right there, do you think they go for the tie… you know, in overtime?”

During the Night Game…

Q: “True or False: When Eli Manning makes that face after a bad pass he looks like you stole his lunch box, ate everything in it, crapped in his napkin, put it back in his designated lunch box area. And then he returned after a three day fast, only to sit down, open up the box, and find the crap in the napkin… And then he ate it because he was so hungry…???” A: “I’m going to go with true.”

Q: “If Brandon Jacobs fought Mike Ditka, who would win?” – A “Ooooo, tough one, did Jacobs sign with the Bears as a free agent?”

“If I would have started JaMarcus Russell, Tashard Choice, Dominic Rhodes, and Johnnie Lee Higgins over Kurt Warner, LaDainian Tomlinson, Steve Slaton, and Andre Johnson – I would have won.”

“Does Tom Coughlin look like an evil smurf?”

“If you mute the TV while Chris Collinsworth is talking, everything feels better.”
“How do you know when he’s done talking?”
“You have to guess, but it’s better to just be safe and wait until the game’s over or until you change the channel.”

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