Ten for Tuesday: Week 7 Fantasy Football Analysis

“JaMarcus Russell, thank you for making an appearance on my fantasy team this week. I thought I was being a good owner, finding the only quarterback on the waiver wire that was starting, and giving Week 7 my best shot despite some tough bye weeks for my squad. But when it comes right down to it, my team had a better chance if I had not picked you up at all. Your stay will be brief, in fact I’ll cut you right now. Be gone!” Red Red Ryan couldn’t find a stop gap, he found a grenade…. 

no banners

 Paul Simon may have diamonds on the soles of his shoes, but Adrian Peterson has William Gay’s pride on the soles of his shoes. If you haven’t seen it, and you like football at all, (or if you just like to see what happens when you mess with the bull) check this out! AP Gives William Gay the Horns! The kid truly is special, if the Vikings weren’t so worried about AP’s physical running style and the way it effects his health, he’d touch the ball 40 times a game. And that wouldn’t be enough…..

no banners

Chad Henne threw a dime to Ted Ginn Jr. that was going to go for about 35 yards, and put the Fins that much closer to a kill shot on the Saints this week. But wait, Ted Ginn Jr. decided to tap the ball up into the air instead of just catching it, then he fell down, the ball just happened to go right into Darren Sharper’s hands, and he did what he does, scoring a touchdown, getting the Saints back in it, and highlighting that one thing that Ted Ginn Jr. just can’t seem to figure out – catch the damn ball. I can see Henne losing some confidence in Ginn, and then, that elite speed and Henne’s big arm will see fewer and fewer long distance get-togethers. Oh Ted, stick-em man, stick-em….   

no banners

I have something to say about Vernon Davis, WOW! That guy is really, really talented. He took a shot near the goal line this Sunday that would put almost every single skill player right on their aces, but not Vernon, he kept his balance and walked into the end zone. Everybody, and probably rightfully so, labeled Mr. Davis a bum, err, a bust after his first couple seasons in the league, but I hope everyone realizes what Mike Singletary’s leadership has done to this kid’s game. He’s always had the ability, and he’s always worked hard, but he’s focused every snap on Sunday’s and he could be something special for a long time…..  

Speaking of amazing plays by a tight end, has anyone seen somebody hold onto a ball after a hit better than Kevin Boss? If you missed it, Boss grabbed a ball with his finger tips then got absolutely obliterated by the Cardinals’ safety. He flipped all the way around and landed in a fashion that should have jarred the ball loose. But he’s tough. As nails. And he held on. Ted Ginn Jr., TO, go ahead and take a note or two on Boss’s catch….. 

Can somebody please tell me how John Fox, or his offensive coordinator, at the very least, still has a job? Down 7-2 at half, the Panthers come out throwing the damn ball. Why? Well, despite running effectively throughout the first half, they wanted to go back to their strength, interceptions. The Panthers are a running team, even Fox will tell you that, but somehow they always end up relying on the pass. Last time I checked, 7-2 to start the 3rd doesn’t eliminate the run from the playbook….. 

no banners

Don’t look now, but the Packers might actually pull their heads out and start handing Ryan Grant the ball 20+ times a game. I know it was Cleveland, a runner’s dream, but 27 carries for the big guy turned into 147 yards, and the Packers’ second blowout of the season (both 20+ carry games for Grant). Even against St. Louis, they didn’t start pulling away until they started feeding Grant the rock in the 2nd half. Grant runs really hard, straight down hill, and he could open a lot of play action for Jennings and Driver if they commit, this game might allow them to realize what that means….  

I wonder if, when the Bears dropped Cedric Benson, they ever thought he’d come back in a couple years, go up against them, and basically beast them all day long. Hmmm. I wonder if they thought Benson would be the best player on the field after they signed Jay Cutler to a big contract 2 year extension earlier in the week. Hmmm. I’m going to go on ahead and guess no on both accounts. Ced went balls out on Sunday, turning Chicago into a sieved. He wanted the ball, and he got it, 37 times. Nasty…..  

Yes, you can go ahead and mark it down, Shonn Greene and Miles Austin are both for real. Now Miles is going to be the sure thing heading forward, he’s going to start, and I don’t care how much money Roy Williams Jr. is getting paid, Austin is going to be the #1 in Dallas, and you all saw what Tony Romo can do when he has a sure thing guy out wide. But Greene, he’s a guy that many people might see as a one-game fixer. Listen, the Jets are going to run the ball early and often from here on out. Thomas Jones is a good back, yes, but he can’t carry the ball 25-30 times a game and stay healthy, not even with those huge freaking arms – so Green will get touches, and he’ll continue to show his worth. He was a beast in college, and he’ll be a beast for the Jets….. 

no banners

Nobody can stop Vincent Jackson! It’s not like the Chiefs were a ferocious foe, but it needs to be said. This guy doesn’t get the kind of credit he deserves, but he’s in that Top 10 group of receivers. He has elite speed, elite size, good jumps, and his hands have turned into sure things. He does it all, truly, and Phillip Rivers will continue to aim his marshmallows in Vincent’s general direction. If you can, get him quick!!!

Sunday Observations: Week 7 NFL Football

“My buddy Josh had this great idea, take some of our best comments to each other from Sunday’s action, the group’s best and worst textual masterpieces, and put them together in one article for all to see. Sometimes our day-time observations can be priceless, other times hilarious, and every once in a while even useful.” That’s basically what you need to know. This week, Red Red Ryan joined the text-party and he had a few funny observations as well. Here’s some stuff to read…

no banners

Josh Arsenault

1. Two kick return TDs against me last week by Eddie Royal and Denver’s brutal special teams unit. Two long-ass defensive TD returns by slow F***ing Steelers’ defensive players this week. Pretty much amazing. I hate fantasy football.

2. Sydney Rice is a beast. I wonder why it took an old man with a beard to get everyone to finally realize that.

3. If you listen carefully you can hear that very last drip of last season’s mixture of Tim Hightower cool-aid going down the drain. Beanie runs hard and fast.

4. Adrian Peterson just decleated Randall Gay, then stepped on him as he ran for 15 more yards, and that was on Gay’s attempted tackle attempt on Peterson’s grab. Is anybody better than him?

5. TO had more catches than drops. 3-2. First time in a long time.

no banners

Lucky Lester

1. Somebody needs to tell Tony Dungy that there are no ghosts in the NBC studio, no murderers either. Could he look more frightened? (Red Red Ryan’s answer: Seriously. It looks like he went #3 in his pants.)

2. If Austin Miles is not for real, he has been one hell of a Dan Brown novel the last two weeks. (Red Red Ryan’s response: I’d read that just to find out that Romo is really trying to MF him in the end.)

3.  I’m pretty sure Reggie Bush just jumped from the 12 yard-line into the end-zone. Nuts. The movie IT has nothing on Reg in the open field.

4. This is the Eli Manning I was talking about prior to the season when I said, stay away! Ellie, if you will.

5. Carolina’s thinking down 7-2 after half: “We don’t have much time, the sun is setting on us, the alarm clock is about to go off, I don’t know if we can get back in the game, the hour glass, the sand, it’s falling… Lets throw, hurry, lets throw early and often, it’s our only chance!!! Unreal.

no banners

Papa Weimer

1. Cedric Benson > Jay Cutler in Cincinnati today. And it’s not close. I’m willing to bet Chicago didn’t see that coming.

2. I started Steve Breaston over Anquan Boldin because I didn’t want the Cardinals to F me like teams usually do when they say a player might play when they have a high ankle sprain. Now I F’d me. Great.

3. Mark Sanchez is eating a hot dog on the sidelines in the middle of a game… well kind of, the Jets are playing Oakland. How big of a crap would the media take if JaMarcus Russell was doing the same thing on his sideline? (Lucky’s response: One hot dog for JaMarcus is like one skittle for a normal guy, and I imagine the media’s bowel movement wouldn’t be nearly as big as your average Russell poo.)

4. I hope that stupid Fox Robot gets stuck out in the rain this week. If his stupid ace can get all rusty, maybe they won’t have him do stupid ish every time they’re trying to show some stupid statistic during football games. (Arse’s response: He’ll pull out a robo-umbrella.)

5. Wow, Jeremy Shockey absolutely beasted that corner. I wonder if he was saying, “Bit**, Pu**y, Wuss, I own you, you suck, want another stiff arm, how about a shot to your face mask, a slap to your head, i’ll kick you and step on your soul if you fall down…” He had about that much time.

no banners

Red Red Ryan

1. Go ahead and add Jake Delhomme to the FML club with Kerry Collins. And go on ahead and throw JaMarcus Russell in there too. (Lucky’s response: They are both already co-owners of that website. I’m pretty sure Jake designed it, JaMarcus tried to eat it, so Jake made him pay for half, now co-owners…)

2. I wish the Bears game was on TV so I could see Cutler’s face after all of his turnovers. It’s just not the same on ESPN play by play. (Papa’s response: I’m watching it right now and it’s that goofy half-drunk face he makes as if it’s everyone’s fault but his own.) (Red’s new response: I would feel better about hating Jay if I was at all sure that he didn’t have fetal alcohol syndrome as a baby.)

3. Receivers are dying in Dallas right now. Atlanta Falcons receivers got blown up on back to back plays. Matt is buying everyone’s dinner tonight. (Josh’s response: Miles Austin lives!)

4. Wow. Carolina is using all their time outs with 6 minutes left in the game. Either they’re drinking what Cutler is drinking or they are… nope, they are drinking Cutler’s magic moon shine.