Semi-finals y’all – don’t get caught playing on the side court next week, get your good players in and celebrate your spot in the finals, and a sure money back chance with a nice cold 6 pack of Robitussin… Championship!

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

5 guys, 3 starting spots, who do you choose between these 4 stars – can start 2 RBs and 2WRs or 1 RB and 3 WRs – I’m already starting LT – not a PPR league. Travis Henry vs. Houston, Earnest Graham vs. Atlanta, Plaxico Burress vs. Washington, Roddy White vs. Tampa Bay, and Deion Branch vs. Carolina. Help? – Chicken Little from the Wood

Mr. Little, I’d start with Earnest Graham as a must start in that grouping. That pushes Travis Henry out, and while he could have a big game against the Texans, there’s also a chance that he doesn’t get enough touches, and thus doesn’t produce many points. Now you’re choosing between White, Branch, and Burress. I’d go with Plax, even though he’s always an injury problem and Eli Manning stinks, he’s still going up against a mediocre Redskins’ secondary and he’s the only guy who is tall enough to grab Eli’s passes. Tampa Bay is a tough match-up for the Falcons, but I think White is more of a sure thing to get 8-10 balls thrown his way in that game than Branch is in Carolina. The coaching change is interesting, because it was Patrino’s style that got White’s numbers flying. Branch is tough to predict, he has up and down games, and though he is going up against a porous secondary in Carolina, that doesn’t always mean big things from Seattle’s supposed #1. I’d say that is a toss up, and I’d take White because of his size and touchdown potential in a game that could see a lot of passing by the Falcons.

I have Jamal Lewis and Marshawn Lynch – they go head to head this weekend, and while I like the Browns to pull that one out, Lynch has to be the better option, right? – Paige White from Ohio

He doesn’t have to be, but yes, I think he is. The Bills have impressed me defensively, limiting most opponents’ rushing attack, and tackling well all season long. Lewis is not the crumbling-slow and injured back he’s been over the last two years, though, he’s be solid over the last few games, running like the Ja-Lewis of old. I just like Lynch against a pathetic Browns defense, but neither guy is a bad option this weekend. You’d think Lynch would get more and more carries after his injury, and while he split about 50-50 last week, he will probably get 75% of the touches this week. Big game for both teams, should be a dandy, but I’d take the younger back.

Is Brady going to lead me to a title? – Rorry in New Orleans

I sure hope so, buddy – you and me both. I don’t know about this weekend, apparently the weather is going to shrink his numbers. Or so they say. Honestly, I’d never sit Brady, even if he were playing against the Devil’s forces from the underworld. The guy is magic, and a little snow and wind shouldn’t kill his chances to find a fantastic receiving corps amongst a rather inefficient Jets defense. I thin people pay too much attention to wind and rain, etc, but who knows, maybe Kurt Warner against the Saints is a better option this week. I will ride it out with Tom, though, as I could take losing if Tom didn’t produce, but I would probably quit FF if I picked Warner over Brady and lost because of it. Go with the best single passing season every, and win it for the gipper!

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**

The Playoffs begin, and the most important answers begin to flow like rains from the heavens… Okay, so don’t be ridiculous, just do what you did to get you to the place where you are. Don’t freak out and outthink yourself, but then again, don’t play it safe either. Try to score points – you know, that’s how you win. CHECK!

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

I’m doing a dance between Kolby Smith and Travis Henry right now. I never thought I’d be even thinking about starting Smith over Henry with both backs being healthy, but such is the case with the way Denver’s defense is playing and the way the rookie ran in each of the last two weeks. Whatcha think, Papa? – Tuba Vernous in Missoula Montana

First and foremost, what a name! Tell me you are or were a ball player, and or have some picture online where I can see exactly what a guy with a name like Tuba Vernous looks like. Vernous… Haha. Awesome. Anyway, funny you should send me that question, because here I am deciding on that same dilemma in my very own fantasy football league. If you’re in a hurry, I went with Kolby Smith. If you want a longer answer, here it is: Smith has more upside. The kid runs hard like he’s got something to prove, and even though the Chiefs have injuries on the offensive line, the Broncos defense is 2nd to last in the league against the run, and just gave up one billion rushing yards to the Raiders. Smith is tough to tackle, and he gets to the second level in a hurry, something that kills the Broncos. I love Henry as a back, but with all three running backs healthy in Denver, you have to guess what Mike Shanahan is going to do, and that’s never an easy problem to solve. I think Henry is the best back of the bunch, and he should get the most carries, but he took 25 carries for 50 yards last week, and while he did score 2 TDs, only Splinter knows who he’ll use as a goal line back this week. Safety and upside, Kolby is the answer, as crazy as that seems.

Would you start Lee Evans against Miami or Justin Fargas against Green Bay? The one is killing me. I’m starting David Garrard over Phillip Rivers, and Vernon Davis over L.J. Smith – agree or no? – Marty Akins from Georgia

I would start Justin Fargas in a non point per reception league, and it would still be a tough decision in a ppr league. Evans talent cannot be questioned – he’s the one guy that defenses try to stop on the Bills team, but the problem is, this season, they have succeeded in doing so more often than not. Fargas is going up against a very good defensive front in Green Bay, but he’ll surely get enough looks to possibly break one, and I like the chance of him putting up 10 points more than I like Evans to do that. However, Evans goes up against Miami’s stellar defense, so honestly, I think this is close to a wash. You’d expect at least 50 yards from Evans, with a chance for 150 and a couple scores. You’d expect 70-80 total yards from Fargas with a chance of a score. So I guess upside is Evans, best chance at points is Fargas. I would also start Garrard over Rivers, even though the Titans’ secondary hasn’t impressed me much as of late, I don’t think Rivers will get enough throws to make him much of a fantasy player, plus, he’s so up and down it’s painful. Garrard is consistently good – he’ll put up around 250 yards and a score, maybe two, and he might even get some rushing yards in the right situation. Good move there. Davis or Smith? Push. They are tight ends, and if one guys gets a lucky touchdown catch, he’ll be in the Top 15 at his position. Boy, TE’s are tough to stomach on fantasy squads.

My league has a toilet bowl – what do you think about those damn things? I don’t even know if I want to win – I mean, I’m a competitive sucker just like the rest of the fantasy owners out there, but is it a good thing to be the winner of the guys who sucked most of the year? – Shaun (Not Shaunna) in Seattle

Just as long as you’re not Shaunna Alexander, I think I understand you. But then again, if you are Shaunna, then you probably would have taken Shaunna with your first round pick in your draft, and you would almost surely be in the Toilet Bowl. Honestly, I don’t mind either way. Toilet Bowls can be fun, and I’ve seen some in which the Toilet Bowl teams had the most points every week – because now that it’s the post season, their crappy starters are the only ones playing, and that can get the Goliath’s where it hurts. For those who are in the #1 and #2 seeded spots, watch out for the guys that made a late surge to get in, they usually have the best teams – which really sucks. I say it’s always good to win anything you can win. I mean, the winner of the losers is probably better than the loser of the losers – right? It’s still competition, and it’s always fun to give your buddies a hard time if they lose in the first round of the poop bowl. You just have to ask yourself, would you rather be the loser of the losers or the winner of the losers? You won’t get the young hottie, but the middle aged girl with some nice assets is always better than no girl at all.

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**

Lucky number Week 13, or that’s what my nephew calls it after he hit 16-0 a couple years ago – anyway, no need to waste any more time trouting around like donkeys, lets get right to this fantasy business.

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

I need a win something fierce, who should I start between the following? Steven Jackson, Joseph Addai, or Edgerrin James (any two will do) and between Deion Branch and Reggie Brown… Thanks! – Con Brinkley in New York

I would never bench Addai – he’s too big a part of the Colts offense, and he’s a very good runner with great all around numbers. That leaves Steven Jackson playing Atlanta and Edgerrin James going up against the Cleveland Browns. Can you go wrong? I don’t know. It’s tough to choose an aging Edge over a healthy and youthful Ste-Jack, so I just won’t do it. I like James’ match-up with the Browns, but honestly, I think Kurt Warner and company will easily toss touchdowns against Cleveland’s defense, leaving little room for James to score. Go with the Jackson-Addai dynamic duo… As for receiver, I think you have a touch decision on your hands. The Eagles worked a way to shut down Randy Moss, who plays an outside roll similar to that of Deion Branch, plus, Branch is shorter and not as able to jump and get the ball. Branch will be the surefire #1 with Hackett out. Reggie Brown hasn’t impressed much this season, but A.J. Feeley seems to have more trust in him than McNabb did, and it looks like Feeley is about to start. So I’d got with Brown. He is a nice physical match-up for the vertically challenged Seahawk cornerbacks, and the Eagles will have room to run play action and get nice gains through the air. I’d roll the way of the Eagle in this one.

I’m in a league where you get to keep one player at each position. I’m already keeping Steven Jackson and Andre Johnson at RB and WR, but who would you keep between Matt Schaub and Derek Anderson at QB? I know DA is getting fantasy stats with the best of them, but I have to like Schaub’s upside, right? – Cam Carlson in Michigan

Cam, you do have a tough decision, regardless of all the fantasy points Anderson is holding over Schaub’s head. What you have to think about with DA is, how long will he be in Cleveland? You’d think a team, with all the trouble they’ve had trying and finally getting a solid quarterback, would just stick with what got them to the next level, but obviously they might feel as though they have a situation with Brady Quinn, and end up with a Drew Brees/Phillip Rivers dilemma in Cleveland. Tough call. Matt Schaub is going to be the starter in Houston for a long time. He has one of the best young receivers in the game, he has a coach that has succeeded in forming some of the most efficient offenses in the game, and he’ll only get better with the more opportunities he has. However, Derek Anderson has weapons too, very good ones in Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow – plus, Jamal Lewis isn’t old yet, and the offensive line in Cleveland is awesome, plus LeCharles Bentley is expected back next season, making them even better. I’m not sure you have a wrong choice here, the Texans O-Line problems make Schaub more of a health risk, and the Browns commitment to Brady Quinn makes DA an interesting keeper – but I say stick with Anderson. He’s a big gun-slinger with a cannon for an arm, a great O-Line, and two huge weapons with great hands in Edwards and Winslow.

I know it’s this season, but I’m just checking predictions here, how do you rank the following receivers and then quarterbacks heading into next season? Andre Johnson, Randy Moss, Terrell Owens, Roy Williams, Larry Fitzgerald, and Calvin Johnson. Then Eli Manning, Phillip Rivers, David Garrard, Jay Cutler, and Vince Young. Fantasy-wise of course, and in a 6 pt TD pass league, with PPR format. – Sherry Baby in Denver, Colorado

Sherry, Baby – I personally would go with Randy Moss (assuming he stays in New England – might be a big assumption), Andre Johnson, Terrell Owens, Larry Fitzgerald, Calvin Johnson, and then Roy Williams. Obviously, in NE, Randy is the king of the wide receiver class – he has one of the smartest coaches in the game, smartest quarterbacks in the game, and a team that loves to give him a chance at the ball. Andre gets my second vote, because he’s been dynomite when given a chance, and I can only imagine he gets better with one more season, and another year together with Schaub. TO is a close 3rd, probably 2a, but is just a hair behind AJ because of his years and sometimes questionable actions in years’ past. Though I think he’s been a great teammate and citizen this season, and imagine he’ll continue on that path until he’s done. Larry is my #4 because after starting a little slowly, he’s been one of the most consistent receivers in the game – I’m not sure, but he’s been close to 100 yards in almost every single one of his last 8 games – that’s solid. Plus, I think he’ll always be a great touchdown threat. I put Calvin over Roy Williams, because the Lions seem to like Calvin more, and while I think Roy is freakishly good, Johnson might have just that much more of a special size speed combo – making him get the nod.

At QB, I’d go with Jay Cutler, Phillip Rivers, Eli Manning, David Garrard and Vince Young – VY has the intangibles to get him big wins in the NFL, but I think people will soon realize that he’s not the fantasy royalty everyone was thinking he’d be. Eil Manning and David Garrard are so much closer than I thought they’d be, even with David getting the starting gig. Eli is just too inconsistent. While he gets lots of TDs, he also spends a lot of time throwing for under 200 yards – which is gross, and he makes lots of mistakes. Garrard doesn’t make mistakes. Phillip Rivers may be in the midst of a down year, but I can’t imagine that rolls into next season. He’s too competitive and accurate, and he can throw the ball with enough velocity when he sets his mind to it. Plus, look at those weapons. That brings me to Jay Cutler, a 2nd year guy that I think is being held back by his coaching staff trying to limit his mistakes. He can toss a football as far as anyone, and he’s got good vision even when pressure is around him. Plus, as much as I hate Splinter, he’s one hell of a coach, and he’ll always put Jay in good positions. The biggest thing working for Jay is his receiving corps. Brandon Marshall is going to be a great receiver, Javon Walker will be healthy and when so, he’s fantastic and then you have Tony Scheffler – great hands and a fearless attack on the ball in the air. Watch out for Jay next season.

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**

It’s Week 11, everyone gets their 10th game out of the way, a reader tells me that Buffalo is going to upset the Pats – that doesn’t go over real well.

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

I think the A-Train will roll this weekend against a Patriots team that should be in a lull after their bye week – and Lee Evans is going to go off.  What do you think? Ken Westfall in Buffalo

I know Buffalo is the spot where running backs get drunk and get different girls preggers just for kicks, but I didn’t know that fans in Buffalo had a drinking problem too. A-Train isn’t a bad backup, but he’s not going to go off against New England, don’t get crazy now. And the last think on earth that’s going to happen is Lee Evans going nuts on the team that pretty much eliminates him from the offense everytime Buffalo comes to town. New England is the last team I’d like to play where they’re coming off a bye, because not only is their coaching super intelligent, but the group of players in New England is more football savvy than any other unit in the game. Patriots by 21 or more. Thanks for playing.

Hines Ward or Andre Johnson? Selvin Young or Earnest Graham? John Clayton or Sean Salisbury? – J. Dog in Florida

Andre Johnson, Earnest Graham, and by a forehead, Sean Salisbury. Johnson is the bigger upside receiver, and he’s supposedly 100% healthy, and Matt Schaub is back – did I mention they’re playing the Saints? Yhatzee! Selvin Young, even if he does start for sure, will be going up against a pissed off Titan team that finally allowed a 100 yard rusher last week at home. They’ll shut down the Broncos pretty well. Earnest Graham gets an Atlanta team that has won 2 straight, and chances of them winning three in a row are worse than Miami’s chances to win 3 games this season. And that leaves me to the dynamic ESPN duo. Clayton looks like he’s missing a piece of his head, and while Salisbury has some unrealistic confidence stemming from his time as an NFL backup’s backup, he still brings a player’s touch to arguments, and he has a full skull structure – huge bonus.

I’ve been playing fantasy football for three seasons, and this is the first one I’m not in 1st place by Week 11. Should I stick with Steven Jackson, Marc Bulger, and Tory Holt? Or should I make trades for those guys. Right now I could get Steve Smith for Tory Holt, and Adrian Peterson for Steven Jackson – what are your thoughts? Darrell Willis from South Florida

I would stick with the Rams. They don’t have a tough schedule, and I don’t like your trade options right now. Steven Jackson, assuming he stays healthy for the rest of the season, is still a threat to score often, as the Rams offense looks to be back. Having 3 guys on the same team isn’t always ideal, but all three of those guys have shown promise in the past and lately, so I like that option. Steve Smith can only be as good as the guys who get him the ball, which, quite honestly, doesn’t make him that good of an option. AP should be good in a couple weeks, but by then, you might be out of the picture. The Vikings have no reason to rush their best player back, so you shouldn’t have any reason to trade for him. Good luck!

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**

It’s Week 10, and just like every other season, there’s a couple guys that have witnessed that one asshole, who is 6th in the league in total points, go undefeated thus far. It’s painful, I know, but something we all have to deal with as fantasy football team owners. And to answer your question, no, don’t have that guy “taken care of” his mediocre team will fall apart like Britney Spears at a frat party. Just have a drink and watch the imploding happen.

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

I’m getting killed with Steven Jackson and Frank Gore, a running back tandem that I thought would lead me to the promise land. Now I have LenDale White and Kevin Jones as backups, so I’m not out of the playoff picture. This week, which two would you start amongst those 4 runners? – Brunson Carlson in Kansas

BC – I’d go with Steven Jackson and Frank Gore (if the injury report guarantees the young Miami product will start). If there’s questions surrounding Gore going into Sunday, I’d take a chance on Kevin Jones. In fact, how about just going with KJ. I love Gore’s game, and he kills the Seahawks, but Jones is more of a sure thing seeing as though he’s healthy, and the Cardinals haven’t been the most dominant run defense this season. White is going against Jacksonville, and I’m pretty sure the Jags will slow that rushing attack and beat the Titans. Anyhow, the safe bet is Jackson and Jones, with an upside pick with risk being Frank Gore. It all depends what you need. If it looks like you’ll need big games, maybe take the chance on Gore, but if you think some sure thing points will get you the W – roll with KJ.

Papa, I have a good problem this week, I have a log-jam at receiver and don’t know who to start. My handful of WRs looks like this – Lee Evans, Terrell Owens, Plaxico Burress, Braylon Edwards, and Hines Ward – which 3 would you give the starting nod to? – J. Dog in Florida

Wow! You must be having a pretty good season, and absolutely running the league in a point per reception league. Anyway, I like Evans against Miami, because their defense is terrible, and he is one of the fastest game breakers in the league – but he is definitely a hit or miss receiver – you get huge games and 2 catches for 23 yard games. I’d lean toward huge, and he’ll most likely finish in the Top 3 of your 5 candidates – but he’s not the safest bet. Edwards has the toughest match-up, but I think the Browns will be throwing a lot, and Edwards is definitely an elite talent, so I think he’ll have a decent day in a loss to the Steelers. But I think your safest three picks are TO, Plaxico, and Ward. Ward is always decent grabbing enough balls for 80 yards and a score or two against a bad Browns secondary. Owens and Burress should both play a huge roll in an expected shootout in New York – and both are great big play threats and should get plenty of looks this Sunday. If I were you, I’d probably start Evans, Burress, and Edwards – but any combination of that log jam should stop the river.

I’m in a league where you get to keep 2 players, but nobody in the first 3 rounds. Also, next season you lose one draft pick ahead of where you drafted them. For some dumb reason, I have to decide next week. Here’s my top 4 candidates and the rounds I will lose in next season’s draft- LenDale White 10th, Braylon Edwards 6th, Derek Anderson 15th, and Randy Moss 3rd – which two would you take? William Crumpler in Cleveland

Bill, you have a tough couple decisions to make. All are great options for your format, and you have to be in a hurting seeing as though you have to make the choice next week. Ideally, I’d rather see Randy complete the season and resign with the Patriots, or some other team with a great quarterback, before I used the keeper option on him, but he is definitely your best player. However, I think Braylon Edwards has just as much upside, and a chance to be great, for 3 rounds less than Moss. But Edwards has his question marks too, and they rest with Derek Anderson’s future in Cleveland. He’s been great, better than anyone person expected, but with Brady Quinn getting paid, and Anderson possibly deserving a new and upgraded contract, it will be interesting to see how long the Browns’ brass sticks with Anderson. Either way, I still think Edwards is your guy. LenDale White has had a very productive season for the Titans, and for a low 10th round pick, he might be a great option for you. However, the Titans have liked Chris Henry and Chris Brown. I personally like White’s upside, and costing you just a 10 should be great. I’d stay away from Anderson, if only because of the questions, and the fact that he’s a quarterback and you will have plenty of options to pick a decent one of those up in next season’s draft. I think Edwards is a sure thing keeper, he’s a Top 10 TE, and you’re only wasting a 6th round pick for him. Now it’s between Moss and White, and while I’d be surprised if Moss went searching for a big check away from New England, he could, because he’s Randy, and who knows what he’ll do. I’d still take a chance on Randy – you lose a 3rd round pick, but you keep two of the games best receivers, and you will surely have plenty of options at running back in the first two rounds of the draft. However, I’d understand taking White – because you won’t be able to get a solid starting running back anytime after Round 5 – so that’s great value. Tough decisions, I’d go with the two receivers. Good luck.

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**

Here we are, Week 9, and believe it or not, some owners are ready to clinch a playoff spot with a win in Week 9. This one clown in a Keeper League I’m in is 8-0 and 5 games up in his division. He wins this week, he could lose out the rest of the way and get in. Lucky bastard, he’s only 5th in points scored too – some guys have all the luck. Anyway, here’s some advice on how to beat that guy, read on my faithful followers.

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

Mr. Weimer, I need to start 2 guys form this group of 3; (Frank Gore vs. Falcons, Maurice Jones Drew vs. Saints, and Willie Parker vs. Ravens), which two would you make a run at? To add a little, we get bonuses for big plays, and touchdowns are worth a lot. I need this win, man, help me out!- T.J. Tips in the Northwest Sector

TJ- I’d have to say that’s a tough call. I’d say Frank Gore should be your number one, but there are questions surrounding his ankle, the teams’ will to win, and he’s pretty much struggled since the 2nd game of the season. Then I’d say Jones-Drew has the best chance to blow up the scene with some big runs, because the Jaguars will be running the ball all day long, and the Saints hate tackling, but New Orleans has given up only one 100-yard-rusher all season long. And last, Willie Parker would obviously be your safest bet and best player all season long, but he’s going up against Baltimore on Monday Night Football. The Ravens haven’t allowed a 100 yard rusher yet this season. It looks like your 3 very good backs all have question marks surrounding them this week. However, that doesn’t always mean bad things, and thus I have an answer. I’d roll with Willie Parker and Frank Gore. I think the Falcons will be much worse on 1st and 2nd down without Grady Jackson in there, I honestly watched him a couple times this season, and concluded that he was a run stuffing force. I don’t know how in the hell those idiots in Atlanta cut that big son of a gun. I think Frank will start running with a meaning, and carrying that young team on his back. Next I think I’d give Parker the nod over Drew, because the Saints haven’t’ been that bad against the run, and Drew has some injury concerns, plus he’s a #2 (I don’t know how the Jags keep giving Taylor more touches than MJD, but what do I know?). Parker may be going up against one of the toughest defensive dynasties over the last 8 years, but he is a very good player with a very good offensive line, and I expect the Steelers to run the ball a plenty. Good luck, and get that W!

My Mom is beating me in my yearly league, and this is the first season she’s ever played. She’s 55 and just took up watching football last season after a lifetime of yelling at my dad for being a useless crotch during the weekend. Well, she’s back in full force now. My dad is probably laughing his ass off from the clouds. Anyway, has anything as embarrassing as your mom kicking your butt at fantasy football ever happened to you? Oh this is fantasy advice, ah, who should I start, Tom Brady or Peyton Manning? – Joshua Dooley in Nevada

First of all, you must be that jerk who picked Peyton and Tom in the first 3 rounds, bogarting them from the rest of your draft mates, thinking you were too cool for school, and how you would benefit by default because you’d have the best quarterbacks. And now you’re 55 year old mom who hates football is beating you in your fantasy football league – that’ll teach you to draft quarterbacks high, especially two of them. Just to think, some guy (or your mom) with Derek Anderson at the QB spot is beating you. As for your “fantasy” questions, I’d go with Brady, because the Colts have a better rushing attack. As for you’re mom and embarrassment, that’s a tough one. But sure, I’m damn near 53 years old, of course I’ve been embarrassed at least that bad, probably yesterday. My wife still beats me at Tennis, but she played doubles professionally for a little while, so I guess I have that to reason with. My nephew employs me to answer a fantasy question section on his own damn site, that’s pretty embarrassing considering I taught the twerp all he knows about the game, I nearly pooped my pants yelling at the TV during the Packer game, hell, I don’t know which one incident to pick out. I’ll tell you this, I feel a whole hell of a lot better knowing my mom never beat me at fantasy football. Thanks, man, and to think, you wanted me to cheer you up.

I hate fantasy football, but I play every season just to see if I like it. Seems sick, I mean, I’m 0-5. I hate rooting for some guy that I hate to score two touchdowns in the last 15 minutes just so I can beat my jerk off neighbor Jim in the league he puts together just to prove to everyone that I suck at fantasy football. Also, I hate losing. Well, this season I’m winning, and Jim is 4-4. Ha. Anyway, that douche is trying to trade me Tory Holt and Frank Gore for Santonio Holmes and Edgerrin James – do you do that deal hoping Gore steps it up? I don’t even start Holmes at receiver, and I like Holt’s upside this season. Plus Gore and Edge are a wash in my opinion numbers be damned. And I’m starting Adrian Peterson and Brian Westbrook at RB anyway. This is a good upside trade, no? – What’s your take Papa? – Joe Q in Nebraska (Boo Cornhuskers!)

Joe, go ahead and do the trade. It sounds like you have the money to invest at receiver, and if the Rams turn things around even a little bit, Tory will once again become a Top 10 target, Holmes may have big games here and there, but he’s still a ways off from being a consistent point scorer at receiver, and that’s really what you want at that position – plus, Holt is always open (seriously, I don’t think there’s guys that are more open than he is, he must be a real trickster). Also I do think Gore will be better soon. He’s so talented and runs with a passion, I love his style. Plus he plays more than a few more games against weak NFC defenses, like this week in the ATL. Go with your heart, Young Joe, and feed that fantasy SOB his final meal! Also, it’s nice that you play fantasy even though you hate it, you must be a die-hard competitive type that hates backing down from competition even more than playing and losing. Believe it or not, that’s an admirable trait in my opinion.

If you had to start the Colts defense against the Patriots or the Patriots defense against the Colts, who would get the nod? – Chucky Dusett near South Park

Buddy, drive up the road and kick Cartman’s fat ass in the junk for me. Honestly, I’d rather start neither defense, but I think I’d go with the Patriots. I think the Colts are great, but there’s not a better team in the NFL than the Patriots, that I’m pretty sure of. What I’m completely sure of is the fact that there’s no offense better than the Patriots, anywhere. Not in Tecmo Super Bowl, not in Madden, not in college, and definitely not in the NFL. Tom Brady could have a bad game, and the Patriots could lose, but I wouldn’t bet my money on it, and if I had to take a defense, I’d take the team not going up against Tom Brady and the Patriots.

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**

Week 8, we’re on the down slope now, nothing but downhill wins, and some team killing injuries from here on out. And the same can be said for the “bad” teams, a couple backups that you pick up now could lead you back in the hunt. Bring it!

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

Papa Weimer-
Who should I pick up between Jesse Chatman, Kenny Watson, and Earnest Graham? – Sam Millhouse in LA

I’d pick up Chatman if it’s a seasonal league. Honestly, I like what Watson brings the Bengals offense, more options than Rudi Johnson, but I think the Bengals will turn back to Rudi when he gets healthy, and that means less Watson, and less fantasy points. Graham, I like his ability a lot, but the Bucs don’t seem too sold on him – they were looking for another guy before Pittman went down, and they got one with Bennett. Michael is a former Pro-Bowler (I think) and he’s been productive when healthy. I think those two share touches from here on out. Chatman is getting the starting gig, and he’s a big talented guy that can pound the ball as many times as the Dolphins want to give it to him. Considering that McMichael went via free agency, Chambers just got traded to the Chargers, and the Dolphins have a young Cleo Lemon rolling at quarterback, I’m assuming those carries will be up around 25 for the rest of the season. I like Jesse’s ability, and think he can do big things with 25 looks. All are decent options, though.

I need a free agent defense this week because my Cowboys are on bye, do you have a leader of the pack between: Seattle, Indianapolis, Minnesota, New Orleans, and Cleveland? – Super Manny in Portland

I like the Colts because I think they’ll dominate the Panthers offense. Vinny won’t be tossing many touchdowns in this one, I can guarantee you that. Plus, Deshaun Foster and DeAngelo Williams aren’t doing much this season, either, aside from a couple big runs. Bob Sanders is a killer at the safety spot, and he’ll help the Colts limit the Panthers to 10 points or less. Seattle’s on bye, so toss them out of the equation – Minnesota goes up against an Eagles team that has vastly under produced, and might just step up their game against a sub-par secondary. New Orleans is New Orleans, a defense I wouldn’t start unless they were playing the Niners, Dolphins, Raiders, or Rams – and even then I’d be worried. I know they’re playing the Niners, but Frank Gore could have a huge day, and there are better options out there. And last, I don’t like the Browns because they’ve been poor on defense all season long. I know they are playing the hapless Rams, but remember, in St. Louis there lives a dynamic offense with enough firepower to put up 40 points in any given game. That offense has been sleeping for the first half of the season. I know they don’t have much of an offensive line, but a block here and a block there, and some confidence can come out, and then the Browns are getting killed by an 0-7 team. So be careful when picking up a bad defense like the Browns just because they’re playing a struggling offense.

I’m about to turn things around, Jackson is coming back, and I’m in line to pick up Jesse Chatman. There’s a few receivers out there on the wire as well, big names, but small output – who do you like amongst this group of fantasy duds? Lee Evans, Marques Colston, Vincent Jackson, Hines Ward, and Joey Galloway. – Jon-John-Johnny from Austin

Toni, Tone, Tony – I like them all. That’s hilarious, by the way. Of that group, I think Lee Evans has the most upside of the bunch. The more Trent Edwards gets to play, the more he’ll get the ball to Lee Evans, and the more Lee gets the ball, the more he gets to run past defenders to the end-zone. The running game in Buffalo is pretty solid, and thus defenses will start paying more attention to Lynch. When they do that, Lee Evans will strike. As far as a sure thing, I like Hines Ward – look at his totals over the last few years. When he plays, he’s money. He gets about 80 yards and a score on solid days. That’s a great stat line for a receiver. Hines is even better in a PPR league. Next, I like Coltson and Jackson, and despite Marques’ hype in that Saints’ system, I think they are dead even. Jackson has less attention paid to him by defenses, and I think he can equal Colston’s totals the rest of the way, especially with Chris Chambers drawing the best corner backs – I actually think Chambers’ addition will help Jackson. Colston has too much ability to stink the rest of the way. I expect better numbers from him, but not as great as last season. Last, Joey Galloway, and only because he’s so up and down. I can’t think of a guy who’s killed it on my bench, and sucked it in my starting lineup more than Galloway. You never know with this guy. That’s my take.

Peyton Manning or Tom Brady, fantasy and real life…
– Dudley Do What? in Carolina.

I like and have always liked Tom more. Maybe it’s because Peyton looks like a good and Tom is probably the only guy I’d really consider switching lives with. Or maybe it’s because Brady always does work in the clutch and Peyton almost always struggles. Or maybe it’s because I thought Tom was better in college than Peyton. I don’t know, it could be a lot of things, but right now it’s 27 touchdowns and 2 picks for one guy, and less than half those numbers for the other guy. I thought Tom would do wonderful things with a few very good receivers, but Moss has been out of this world, Daunte is breaking tackles like he’s Jim Brown, and Wes Welker uses those Super Man eyes to catch everything thrown at him. That makes Tom even mo-better than he already was. Manning is great, hall of famer, no question, but even with all his offensive line chatter, his ability to “run the entire offense” and the way he roots on the grocery store workers, I still think Tom is better. Peyton’s had great receivers and running backs for years – Tom has those now, and he’s rolling the league up like a joint from my childhood. Plus, Peyton has a funny looking square head. So, for fantasy and real life, I’ll take Tomothy.

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**

Here we are, Week 7 and we’re riding the pivot in most fantasy leagues. This week marks the half way point of the regular season, and you’re in one of three places, you’re either getting crushed at the bottom (Those who drafted Marc Bulger, Steven Jackson, Shaun Alexander, and Lee Evans), hanging in the middle (decent draft, better pick-ups) or you’re looking down at the pack (took a chance on went for Ronnie Browns upside, took Randy Moss a round or two earlier that people thought, took Tom Brady in round 3, and rode with the idea that Marion Barber would keep scoring touchdowns. Either one, you have a chance, to be fooled – here’s my question and answer section for Week 7.

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ ——

Papa Weimer-
I’ve had the worst luck in Fantasy Football, you’d think my ass was on the cover of John Madden or something. I took Steven Jackson, then Reggie Bush (thought he was a steal), got a solid quarterback in Donovan McNabb, and picked Lee Evans and Reggie Brown in the 4th and 5th – well, as you well know, it’s been a painful season thus far. However, I somehow managed a .500 record through 6 weeks. Should I ride with my guys? Or should I take a trade offer giving me Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards, and Maurice Jones-Drew for McNabb, Evans, and Jackson? – Doug D in Missoula

I’m always a guy that says “stick to your guns” but I kind of like this trade for you. I think the Browns have played better than they are, but they will have to put up points all season long because their defense is brutal, so Edwards is a nice receiver, and will probably score at least as much as Evans down the stretch. Anderson has played well, and like I said, he’ll be tossing the rock around as long as he’s healthy, and trading McNabb shouldn’t kill you that much – that offense has looked pathetic, with receivers running short annoyingly painful routes, and McNabb getting sacked too often. The fact that they only put up 16 against the Jets scares me more than a little bit. Getting Jones-Drew could prove to be a steal, Fred Taylor was taking time off with a groin injury last week in the 2nd half, and Taylor hasn’t necessarily been a beacon of health over his career. I think Jones-Drew is a Fred Taylor injury away from being a top 5 fantasy back. That’s worth a chance. Jackson may be out for a couple more weeks, and when he comes back, what? Is he going to set the league on fire behind that offensive line? I don’t think so. I say take this trade, cut your losses, and hope the guys you are getting don’t do any Madden commercials in the near future.

My defense is the Pack, and they’re on bye, so do you have any quick picks for Week 7 – some of the top scorers out there are, Indy, Buffalo, Seattle, Washington, the Giants, and the Lions… (how are they a high scoring team?). -Phil Rowland in Beaver Falls

Phil, I’d roll with either the Redskins of the Giants. Both of their opponents will be starting less than average quarterbacks, and both offenses have struggled under those guys. Trent Dilfer will try to tame the recent success the Giants have had on defense, while Timothy Rattay will be the guy trying to break the Redskins. I think Indy could be alright, but David Garrard makes very few mistakes, and that running game has been fierce over the last two games – their upside is extremely limited. The Bills just can’t be as good as they’ve played, and although they play a less than stellar offensive unit from Baltimore, you’d think Willis McGahee will be running at another level against his old team. Seattle’s defense is good, and I actually like them as a stop-gap play this weekend against the Rams, but I like the Skins and Giants more. The Lions are terrible, and I have no idea how the fantasy stats have turned in their favor? I’m old and I don’t care to look into it; all I know is, I wouldn’t start them against Northwestern. I think the Redskins are actually the better of the two defenses, and Frank Gore could have a big day if the 49ers actually attack that 4 defensive end front the Giants have been playing with, so I’d go with Washington. I don’t think Kurt plays this week, and even if he does, he’s show he’s at least turnover prone. The Redskins run the ball well, play solid defense, and Sean Taylor has been playing really well in the middle of that defense. They’re a nice option this week.

Papa, I know you’re old, so you probably saw some good “old” running backs in your day. Is there anyone, or any combination of guys that compare to the young Adrian Peterson? A guy recently offered me LT for AP – even though Peterson is a stone cold pimp – I have to take this offer, right? – Samson Diggs from Minnesota

He sure looked good last week, didn’t he? Hell, he’s looked good all season. Honestly, the scary thing about AP is his speed. He’s a big powerful back, and he seems to scoff at tackling attempts on every play, but his breakaway speed and explosion at the hole is something special. Shaunna Alexander should watch films on this young buck. As far as some old timers such as my self, I’d go with Bo Jackson, actually. You probably know Bo – he was one hell of a runner. His injury woes obviously derailed his career, but Bo had an amazing burst and ran with a rage similar to AP. If Bo could have stayed healthy, he would have been a Hall-of-Fame candidate for sure. I hope Peterson has at least 8 years of top-level play in his legs. I’d say Jim Brown, but Peterson is faster – and it’s very hard to compare old school players with the kids today. There are lots of guys who kind of compare, but Peterson does look like the real thing, with no weakness in his game. But, the Vikings are set on not using AP’s legs up so early, and they want to keep their prize possession healthy, so they’ll limit his touches this season. I’d say that trade for LT is a great deal for you – do it now, before that guy gets his head on straight.

I’m in a keeper league, and my 0-6 start has me thinking next year. I have Steven Jackson, a guy I’m holding on to, but I also have Tom Brady and Marshawn Lynch. I can only keep 2 guys, and LT’s owner has offered me LT for Brady and Lynch – do you think that’s a good move for the future? – Alex Downing in Boise

I like Lynch, and I like Brady – but I like LT more. I know Brady has been A-mazing this season, and Lynch looks like a dandy in Buffalo, but I think LT will have at least one more LT season next year, maybe 2, and you have to want that on your fantasy team. Especially if you have no chance at cashing out this season. Tomlinson now has a receiving corps that includes Antonio Gates, Vincent Jackson, and Chris Chambers – I’ve never been a huge Chambers fan, but he’s definitely going to open up that offense in San Diego. Also, I’ve always been a fan of the over confident, big headed kid from NC State, Phillip Rivers. He’ll get better over the next couple seasons, and take some pressure off of LT’s legs. It’s tough to give up Brady, and this trade may seem lopsided, but I think you have to do it in your position.
Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**

Week 6 is right around the corner, and these are some of the questions that weighed me down this weekend. I have to be honest, I like the morale coming from my readers, especially the ones that are bruised and battered and under .500 going into Week 6 of Fantasy Football action. It’s not over fellas, keep the hope going.

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

Papa Weimer-
I’m 2-3 going into week 6, and to be honest, I think this is the time to trade some of my injuries to get a win. I have Andre Johnson and Steven Jackson, and I’ve been offered Larry Johnson and Kevin Curtis – what’s your take? – Joey Bezona in Oklahoma

Don’t do it! Hurry, reject that trade. You’ve waited it out this long, I say you just stick with your guns. AJ is back after this week, and so is Steven Jackson – and both should give you a good enough push to make a run at the playoffs. Kevin may have a big game or two, maybe even this weekend against the Jets, but he’s about as consistently inconsistent as you could get. He has all his points from one game against the Lions. Larry Johnson is a beast, but his offensive line makes me wonder if he’ll every see open spaces this season. The Rams O-Line looks like they are coming together a little more lately, though they have a tough game this weekend against Baltimore. Steven Jackson is a very good back despite his early season struggles and an injury – I’d say his and LJ’s chances of success the rest of the season are a push at worst. As for AJ, he’ll be back soon, and he’s a Top 10 starter at receiver. Don’t do it, man. That’s my take.

I need a big defensive play this weekend from the free agent wire. I have Dallas, but I’m sending them on their way because there is no way in hell I am starting them against Tom Brady and the Patriots. Some free agents that get me excited are the Cardinals, Jaguars, and Seahawks – what are you thinking? Any D-sleepers for this week. Boris “Premium” Ollie in Anaheim.

It looks like you have a good threesome to choose from. But right now, I like the Cardinals to do up the Panthers something fierce. I like the idea of the Hawks busting up Reggie Bush and intercepting Drew Brees, but one has to think that the Saints snap out of their slumber and actually put up points one of these weeks. I’m not so sure it will be this week, as the Hawks are a formidable defensive foe, but you never know, and craziness could ensue. The Jags are a nice option against a Houston rushing attack that has been suspect at best. Ahman Green is back, but how long will he last in the grasps of that beastie group of defensive linemen? I think the safe bet is the Cardinals because they are choosing between Vinny Testeverde and Matt Moore at quarterback. I think Vinny could be Matt’s dad, no joke. The Cardinals are a physical group and they have a few playmakers on that squad. Plus a big return or two from Steve Breaston is a possibility because the Panthers’ special teams is lacking to say the least. Go with the Cardinals! As for a big defensive sleeper, I’ll throw out the Bucs against Tennessee. I think Tampa will come to play in this one, give Vince Young some trouble, and cause more than a couple of turnovers against the Titans. But that’s a sleeper pick, because Tampa is at the bottom of the Fantasy defense rankings.

I’m hurting for a running back just for this week. I normally have Addai and Fast Willie Parker, but obviously the bye week is breaking my balls. Brian Leonard is still available, but do you have a sleeper out there that could outscore him? I’m not sure I’m that excited about him going heads up against a Ravens’ defense that is being called “overrated”. – Jessy Thomas in Indy

Jessy, I have the guy just for you. As of Thursday evening, Jamal Lewis was still wearing a Christmas stocking on his injured foot. That means that the Browns backup will be going at the Miami Dolphins defense. I’m guessing that Jason Wright will go over the century mark against that terrible Dolphins defense. This 210 pound back is stocky, fast, can catch the ball, and he runs with a purpose. He’s probably the one running back who has played well against the Patriots this season. He rushed for 60 yards and caught 4 passes for 43 yards last week after Jamal went down. Honestly, I love any running back against Miami, and I like the Browns offensive line a lot. I think Wright will get more points than Brian Leonard, and I can’t agree more with that bad match-up against a Ravens team that is feeling slighted.

Ronnie Brown is my hero. He’s had 3 straight 100 yard games since Cam Cameron gave his own head a good shake and realized that Ronnie was the only thing going for the Fins. Ronnie turns 26 this December, so his age gives him 4 more solid years, and he’s a good pass catcher so he doesn’t get overused in the rushing game. Everyone in my league loves this guy, is there a player you’d take in trade for Brown? – Brad Bannister at FSU

A former Seminole such as my self loves to help out a fellow FSU alum. You have to love what Ronnie’s doing now that Cameron isn’t playing any stupid games with the young buck. And honestly, I think Lemon or Beck (whomever ends up starting for Trent Green) will open up the field even more for the former Auburn standout. However, there are a couple guys that match-up with Brown. I think Jackson is 3 years younger than Ronnie, and I have to believe this seasons’ struggles are an aberration for the St. Louis Ram. It may hurt you this year, but you might be able to get Jackson and a nice receiver for Brown, because Ronnie is #1 in the league right now. I also like Joseph Addai a lot, he’s a couple years younger (1.5) than Ronnie, and I think he’s in a better situation. He’s averaging just over 100 yards per game this season, has 5 rushing touchdowns already, and gets about 3 catches per game. He’s very versatile, just like Ronnie, but I like his situation in Indy a lot more. However, don’t be in a hurry to trade Ronnie. He’s got a great body for the NFL, he’s fast as all hell, and he’s going to be “The Man” in Miami for quite some time. Cam Cameron, as big of a game playing idiot as he’s been, is a great coach to take a running back to the next level. He knows how to get them involved.

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**