Week 3 is over and done with, and I think my advice is starting to make you all realize that I’m not your average douche. Well I’m back for my 10 week anniversary, and these answers are better than ever… err… maybe there just as good as ever – I’m always right, what can I say? I don’t know, I’m old, bring it! – Papa Weimer

Drop me your Fantasy Questions @ papaweimer50@hotmail.com

I have 2 iffy quarterbacks in McNabb and Grossman. I realize there is no good choice here, but I need to play one of them this week. What are your thoughts on the lesser of these two average Joe QBs in terms of FF starters? I go by the theory, “Stick with your horses”, but I see more jackass than horse regarding this cluster hump of a decision. Enlightenment sought and hopefully found… -Nutz O’Breen in Sea-Town

Mr. O’Breen, may I call you Nutz?

McNabb is a very good quarterback that is about to absolutely drop bombs on the pretend Lions in Detroit. Who in the hell names a Detroit team after a jungle cat for god’s sake? Anyway, I don’t think you have anything close to a dilemma here. I would consider the waiver wire over Grossman, just because he’s such a toss up. Honestly though, I think McNabb could still come back to have a Top 3 QB Fantasy season, I kid you not. Detroit’s pass defense is so bad that Josh McCown threw for 300+ yards and 2 scores against them. Yikes. Like you said, “Stick with your horses”. You have a solid option any given week with McNabb. You should just hope that the Eagles’ brass stops calling such shit-hole plays. If I did have a vested interest, I would certainly go at you to try to get Donovan with the way you are thinking about him, especially before he blows up this week. On to Week 3, Mr. Nutz

I can’t hold out any longer, can I? I know I’m supposed to wait it out, trust my picks, and get a little deeper into the season, but I’m sweating bullets right now. I went LJ with my first round pick, Thomas Jones with my 2nd, Larry Fitzgerald with my 3rd, and Donovan McNabb with my 4th round pick. Needless to say my selecting you in Fantasy Leagues is like a sadistic version of the Madden Curse. I got a trade offer giving me Marion Barber and Plaxico Burress for LJ and Larry Fitzgerald – should I take it? P-Dub in Southern California

Mr. Dub, settle down before your life becomes a complete fantasy depression meltdown. I just picked up LaDainian Tomlinson in my Dynasty league because of a guy just like you. LT’s 1.9 yards per carry don’t scare me one bit, and you have a nice foursome there, I’d hold on to them if I were you. I’m telling you guys, unless a player is really in for a mess, has injury problems, or he’s been spending a lot of time at the Vick mansion, you should hold on to him and ride him out. Jones will have a much better week this time around (Week 3) and he looks solid for the rest of the season. Now that New England and Baltimore are out of the way, the oceans don’t seem quite as rough. LJ has 3 more pretty tough defenses to face, but he’s just getting back to the 20 carry area, and I would hold on to him, he’s an absolute beast. He’s shown, that no matter who he’s playing, if he gets 25-30 carries, he’s going for at least 100 bills and a touchdown. That’s like clockwork for the Beast from Penn State. McNabb will blow up this week to the tune of Top 5 fantasy quarterback status, and Larry Fitz, I don’t know, I always thought he might have a tough time after his young quarterback had to learn a new offense, but I’d hold on to him, too – he’s too big, strong, fast, and athletic to trade. Plax will get hurt, if he’s not out already, and Marion Barber is solid, but he could go for nothing any week depending on who’s getting the rock more in Dallas. Stick with what you got, big guy, and lay off the sugar.

Reggie Bush sucked it up for the second straight week, as did Steven Jackson. I thought my two headed beast at running back would be my ticket to the Fantasy Super Bowl, but now I’m 0-2. I have Adrian Peterson and Tatum Bell on my bench, would you start either of those fools over Reggie and Jackson? Is there anyone you’d try to pick up in a trade for Bush or Jackson? – Cletus Crown from Brooklyn

Reggie and Steven are still solid options, but with Jackson’s offensive line deteriorating with every game and Reggie’s entire team playing like steamy dump, I can see where you’re getting a little frustrated. But, you’ll need to ride it out big guy. Steven Jackson is still a beast, he’ll just need to work harder to get his points in. If you could trade him for Travis Henry or maybe try to get a solid receiver and a running back like Thomas Jones. See, while I think Steven is still a very good running back, I have a feeling his chances of getting back to where he was last season are all but lost. There are so many offensive line problems that he has to stay in and block on passing downs, meaning his reception numbers could be cut in half. That really limits his game. But if you can’t trade him for good value, I’d just hold on to him. People forget that he didn’t really turn it on until the latter part of 2006. As for Reggie, I can’t believe that the Saints are going to continue the entire season collecting one touchdown per game. No chance. As soon as these guys, and Reggie in particular, stop trying to do too much, they’ll be solid options again. But Reggie will have up and down games. He’s not the starting rusher, and about half of his points come as a receiver – so like receivers, he’ll have more ups and downs than solid numbers every week. If you want to trade Bush, wait until he has a huge week or two – people always love this kid, and he’ll have plenty of takers after a couple touchdowns. As for your starts, I’d go with Adrian Peterson (that game should be a pound it out game, so he’ll get 20-25 touches – which means good things for his owners) and Steven Jackson (Jackson goes against a tough Tampa club, but he’ll have a solid week this time around) – but Bush isn’t a bad option either. Tennessee doesn’t have a bunch of studs to shut Bush down, but then again, neither did Tampa Bay or Indianapolis. Bush will have a break out game sooner or later. Tough call, but Jackson and Peterson get my nod.

Ronnie Brown… This cat is the bane of my existence. I’m thinking about throwing rocks at his car if I ever see his ass drive by down here in Miami. Should I be more pissed at Cam Cameron or RB? Please tell me there’s light at the end of the tunnel… PK Palmer from the U

PK, you are a funny man – but you all need to quit it with that U crap. The U? Do you guys realize how stupid that sounds? PK’s talking to the manager of a business that is hiring for a nice job with a window office… “And where did you get your degree from, sir?” PK replies, “The U!” PK gets a “thanks for coming in” and his application gets a “toss out the window of the office he’s not going to be working at”. It’s a discredit to how smart you college students are – you are going to the University of Miami, The U is a name of a bar in Eastern Montana – so give it up. As for you fantasy questions, yes, look for Ronnie’s car, it’s a big Escalade with spinners and a license plate that says, Half-Nat-Champs. No, I’d blame Cam Cameron. This guys insistence to be the next Mike Shanahan and play all these damn mind games with his players is going to have Ronnie Brown throwing rocks at his windows in no time. Ronnie is a very good runner, strong, good hands, powerful, fast – there’s not much I don’t like. His offensive line isn’t very good, but he’s always done well when given the chances. Maybe Cam will snap out of it, that’s your light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe Trent Green will go down with an injury, and then defenses won’t be able to run-blitz and shut down the pass as well. Like Drew Bledsoe in Dallas last season, Green is too stationary, and that makes it easier for defenses to shut down the run. Sounds weird, but its true. Keep the high hopes man, and good luck. Cam drives an old school convertible, cherry red, looks like a rich surfer’s car. Easy to hit his fat head with the top down like it is. Plus, unlike Ronnie Brown, Cam won’t chase you down and beat your ass. I’m telling you, Ronnie is a beast.

I may be crazy, but I’m starting Roydell Williams over Darrell Jackson this week. Also, I’m throwing Ronald Curry in my lineup over Lee Evans. I’m taking the Cowboys defense over the Bears, and I just dumped a blond for a red-head. Am I sick? Hide and Seek in Iowa

Hide and Seek, I wonder if that’s considered clever? You obviously don’t want anyone to recognize you, but then again, you’re that one guy who just dumped a blond to date a crazy redhead. How do I know redheads are crazy? I was trying to find a famous redhead movie star that you could have dumped the blond for, and I looked up famous redheads… Coming in at #9 was Jesus. F&%*$!!! Are you kidding me? Jesus is #9. First of all, I didn’t know Jesus was actually a redhead, and honestly, I think that’s a little more realistic than the blond Jesus picture at the last church I attended, but if he was actually a redhead, how does he get 9th? Love him or hate him, Jesus is definitely in the Top 3 of any list. And there you have it, the redhead who took time out of their life to put up a site listing famous redheads actually put Jesus 9th, right behind George freaking Washington and right in front of Galileo. “Mother of God!” Well, if that’s not a reason to call you a sick son of a bitch, I don’t know what is. Billy the Kid was 2nd, by the way. How do you think Jesus took that news? “Hey Jesus, you’re down to 9th in the order.” Talk about some wrath. Aside from your real-life problem, I’d say you are right on track with you starts and sits. I think Williams could have a huge day, while D-Jack goes up against a tough Steeler D. Ronald Curry has a great match-up against the Browns, and Lee has to lace them up against the “Greatest Team of All Time”, the Patriots. The Bears offense isn’t even close to the Cowboys offense, and Rex has shown he’s turnover happy. So I think the Bears have a better chance in that one. Just to make sure, ask your new Redhead if she wrote, or had any influence to the this page. If she says yes, protect yourself from some serious bad luck and dump her immediately. I’m gone, ya’ll!

Last Weeks Questions

Papa Weimer – **52 y/o – two open Heart surgeries and a nasty attitude**