Fantasy Football Picks Ten for Tuesday

“I bet Braylon Edwards thinks he’s died and gone to career heaven.” At least that’s what Josh Arsenault says, and right now I believe him 100%. He’s probably writing thank you letters, sending fat Man-jina sandwiches, and going out to punch little kids as we speak. Dude is celebrating big, and why shouldn’t he? He knows the new offense he’s in, he has a quarterback with a shiny bright future, and a new lease on his football life. Career heaven. Haha. Indeed….    Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn. You say tomato, I say shitty. Everyone was wondering why that donkey Man-jina took so damn long to pick a starting quarterback this year; now you know why. He probably would have rather punched his own face numerous times than anoint one of those over-hyped signal caller’s his starting quarterback. Now we see why Braylon dropped so many balls in Cleveland, he was so damn surprised to see a ball get anywhere close to his hands he didn’t know what to do with the pig skin. 2 for 17, Derek Anderson, are you kidding me? 1 interception? And you win the game? Well, I guess on the bright side he had twice as many completions to his team than to the opponent. The situation in Cleveland is giving JaMarcus Russell something to smile about, at least he’s not a 2 for 17 QB like that guy. You’ve got to start somewhere….   Tom Brady has to be pissed, or maybe he’s to blame? whatever it is, the Patriots draw calls late in the game were pathetic. One of the most accurate passers in the game, with Randy Moss and Wes Welker running routes, ends up handing the ball to Kevin Faulk on back to back plays in hopes of a first down, and what happens? No first down, they have to punt, it goes into overtime, and Josh McDaniel’s Broncos get the win. I may be bitter because I took the Patriots, but there’s just something painfully “careful” about the way the Patriots have been playing, and I don’t like it one bit. When did Mike Holmgren get in Belichick’s ear anyway? After this game, I expect the Patriots to get back to their rifleman way…..    It was pointed out to me that the Washington Redskins have yet to play a team coming into a game. They may be just 2-3, and they go up against yet another winless team on Sunday, but even if they get to .500, you’d have to think they have a very tough road ahead. After this Sunday, their days of playing winless teams is likely over, and I imagine their shot at .500 has the same fate. If you can get somebody that believes in Clinton Portis or Santana Moss, you might entertain their offers….   I would be pretty stunned if St. Louis wins a football game this year. I know there are lots of terrible teams this season, and in fact four teams have started 0-5, which is pathetic in and of itself. The Raiders aren’t even one of them. But Kansas City has shown me some promise, and I think they win a couple games. Even Tampa Bay, who most think are hapless, will win a couple by just pounding it out against poor run defenses, they have the talent on the line and in the backfield to run the ball successfully. And Tennessee is just too good to lose more than 10 games, they should finish around .500 (at least) the rest of the way. But the Rams? Where’s their gimmie game? If they don’t win at Jacksonville this week (and I don’t think they have a chance) or in Detroit in Week 8 (I think the Lions kill them), then they will only find a win next to the pot of gold at the end of the freaking rainbow. They are brutal. They have been outscored 146-34 on the season: brutal…..   Speaking of the Lions, how good was Daunte Culpepper this weekend? Really good. When you consider that the only real pass threat, and the teams best player, Calvin Johnson, went down with an injury right off the bat, and the fact that Pittsburgh blitzed and hit him all day long, and his running back had 20 carries for 53 yards, that he got his team within a score late in the 4th quarter was flat out amazing. 23 for 37 for 282 yards and a touchdown, for the Lions, without Calvin – please. The Lions best chance to win now is with Pep in at Q. Unfortunately, they still don’t have a great chance to win, and thus Stafford will be back at the helm in no time….     Denver and Cincinnati are good teams. I told you at the beginning of the season, and I’ll tell you again now. Will they continue to win at the rate they are right now? I can’t promise that, but I will say this, both teams will be in nearly every single game this year. Just like Mike Singletary found out this Sunday against Atlanta, every team can have a down game and get blown out, but the Broncos, Bengals, and 49ers for that matter, will be in the thick of things all season long. The tides, they are a changing….    Miles Austin goes big league chew on me (and the Chiefs) this Sunday, and the Cowboys need every one of those yards to walk out of Kansas City with a win? You’ve got to be kidding me. But Miles wasn’t the only Austin to kill me this week. I went into the week starting Anquan Boldin, Steve Smith, and Randy Moss as my receivers over two guys with Austin in their names (Miles and Collie), and a rookie that had 6 catches and no touchdowns to his name prior to Week 5, one Jeremy Maclin. And I was stupid enough to think I had a huge advantage. How huge was my advantage? Those three Week 5 super heroes beat my entire fantasy team all by themselves. Maclin put up 146 and a couple scores, Collie scored twice as well, and Miles broke out for 250 yards with 2 scores on 10 catches. Miles Austin > Roy Williams and his ribsies….  Speaking of huge games, Miles just barely beat out Roddy White this week. Roddy had a couple fewer catches and 40 fewer yards, but 210 and 2 scores on 8 catches isn’t too shabby. White was bound to break out, and while I though that would come in a week where he wasn’t being guarded by one of the league’s top corners, Nate Clements, I was dead wrong. Roddy big brothered the Niners all day long, and Matt Ryan put on big boy pants getting his man the ball all day long. Michael Turner’s return to 4+ yards per carry helped as well. With the 49ers struggling to stop the run, that play action pass did wonders for Matt and the Falcons…..   Andre Johnson’s play to score his second touchdown will have a place in my eyes as one of the Top 10 plays of the season. As if the catch wasn’t nice enough, he reacted quick enough to run over Karlos Dansby instead of getting trucked himself, he then waived off another tackler, before big brothering the Cardinals safety into the end zone. Dirty. Andre Johnson is an absolute beast…..   Brett Favre is on pace to accrue the highest completion percentage of his career. Now I know it’s just Week 6 we’re coming up to, but Brett has the best rushing attack he’s ever had, he gets all the time in the world to throw, and he’s taking fewer Favre-chances than ever before. He’s as accurate as ever, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he kept up his end of the bargain all season long. What has me a little worried is that Adrian Peterson and that ‘Sota running game hasn’t looked nearly as good as it has been over the last couple seasons…. Yeah, you counted right, that’s 11! See you next week!