theRUNDOWN: Week 3

Week 3 has some happy match-ups – big time sits – and a couple that have me wondering what I’ve got myself into – oh the intrigue! This old man played nick knack paddy whack, gave a dog a bone, and then went with Jill up to the well and filled her pocket full of posies. Believe that ryhme, son! Here’s my best plays of the week.

QB: Tony Romo vs. Packers: I don’t know why, maybe because there will be another guy putting up points on the other team, but Romo is giving me that 4 touchdown vibe. After a tough start, Romo turned it on and burned the Eagles last week. I say he does the same against another good defense.

RB: LaDainian Tomlinson vs. New York Jets: I have to get him right some time right? Is LT too old? Is he done? Is his injury holding him back? I’m answering no to all of those, heck, I’m answering, NO! LT goes off against the Jets – that’s my bet. If he randomly doesn’t play, then I’ll switch my pick to Sproles.

RB: Michael Turner vs. KC: The Burner will be leaving jet streams all over the field on Sunday. The Chiefs are bad – Turner is good, he will run like the wind – the wind carrying a freaking anvil. This kid is a beast, watch him run with admiration. Plus, I always wanted to start LT and Mike in my best options list.

WR: Plaxico Burress vs. Bengals: I have no reason to believe this, but I think the Bengals hold close in this game, put up some points, and keep Eli throwing. If that’s the case, Burress goes wild. Even if it isn’t, I’m sure the Giants will throw in the first half – that would make Burress a nice option.

WR: Steve Smith vs. Minnesota: Because now that I can I will. I love me some Steve Smith – he’s a more seasoned version of Eddie Royal and I believe he torches the Vikings.

TE: Jeremy Shockey vs. Denver: He’s the best receiver they have right now, the safeties in Denver don’t scare me, and this game will be chalked full of points. It just makes sense.

K: Josh Brown vs. Seattle: Not that it matters but I might as well try.

D: Patriots vs. Miami: This defense is putting a lot on their shoulders, seems like they’d dominate this game with all that confidence.

PAPA’S Week 1 SLEEPERS

David Garrard: I know he’s really struggled, but that’s how he’s become a sleeper – Bob’s absence kills the Colts D.

Aaron Rodgers: Against Dallas on the main state? You bet I still like Rodgers. But another good one here and he can’t be considered sleeper material.

JT O’Sullivan: Martz versus the Lions. You bet. Top 10 QB this week.

Maurice Jones Drew: Best runner in Jacksonville hits gold against a Bon Sanders-less Colts team.

Julius Jones: I like Julius to do his thing again, this time against the Rams.

Sammy Morris: He’ll get most of the carries and score a touchdown or two against Miami.

Chad Ocho Cinco: Is it bad when a guy changes his name and then doesn’t do dick? That’s where Mr. 85 is at right now. He’s in sleeper status. I think he has a nice game though, he’ll have to to keep the Bengals in it.

Anthony Gonzalez: The Jaguars don’t scare me in the secondary, and Gonzalez is becoming the #2 in Indy, shhhh… Don’t tell Marvin.

Derrick Mason: Lots of catches, almost 100 yards – that’s worth a sleeper pick.

Todd Heap: Heap will get some this week. Finally. Then you’ll pick him up off the waiver wire and be crushed in Week 4. But still – nice sleeper this week.

Buffalo: Not sure they are a sleeper, but they should handle the Raiders rushing attack.

Papa’S Week 1 Splinter-Butts (bench him, son)

Jamal Lewis: He always runs well against the Ravens, right? Not this time Jamal.

DeAngelo Williams or Jonathan Stewart: It will be the Delhomme to Steve Smith game if the Panthers want a shot – neither back will do much for you this week.

Chris Perry: Another tough one for Chris – ha, seem familiar? The Bengals play a tough schedule – good year for that.

Hines Ward: I don’t think Hines keeps catching touchdowns like this, not this week against a good Eagles secondary anyway.