Following Perfection: Is Always Difficult
5-9-2

It looks like I need to go back to Winnie Cooper’s doorstep. After one of the best two week runs in recent history, (28-4) I took a Kris Brown dive into a 5-9-2 week. I was worried about the hugemungous lines looking to trip me up, and as it turns out I had reason to worry. Surprises were out in full force, upsets went banana’s, the Colts went to 13-0. Take a quick look at my week 13 Review and find out why I went wrong.

LOSERS

Tampa Bay @ Carolina (-5.5) – Deshaun Foster didn’t do much, and Jake Delhomme did even less as the Panthers got demolished. The score wasn’t as telling as the actual game. Chris Simms wasn’t amazing, but Cadillac Williams rolled like an Escalade through the Panthers’ defense. The Buccaneer defense is back to the dominant team they were years ago with Warren Sapp and Derrick Brooks and the gang. Look out for the Buc!

Chicago (+6) @ Pittsburgh – “Don’t count out Big Ben though, even with the injury, he’s in his third game back, expect him to play mistake free.” (Me) This was a tough game for me, but it looks like I should have went with my own advice. Ben was flawless as the Steelers took it to the beloved Bear defense. Willie Parker ran tough, and then Jerome Bettis came in and plowed through the snow into the end zone. The Steelers gave me loss number two.

Oakland (-3) @ NY Jets – “The Raiders are horrendous. Kerry Collins sucks, and anyone who thinks it’s all Norv Turner’s fault is probably as drunk as Kerry looks on a daily basis. Does anyone else in football look like they’ve battled the booze more than Kerry? Randy Moss looks as sedated running routes as he does after an off-season run in with the Magic Dragon, and Lamont Jordan doesn’t get the opportunity to get out of the backfield. And that’s only the offense. Yikes. Luckily for the Raiders and their fans, they play the Jets this weekend.” (Me) I guess it’s not so lucky for the Raiders and their fans. When they lose to a team like the Jets everyone finally realizes how bad it’s become in Oakland. Norv’s job is over.

Houston @ Tennessee (-6.5) – Well, Houston continued to do what they needed to do to lose themselves into the Reggie Bush sweepstakes. All along I have thought the Texans’ were doing a great job of pretending to try and win games while continuing to lose. This week that was not the case. Kris Brown, one of the leagues most accurate kickers, had a 31 yard chance to tie the game. The ball was snapped perfectly, the hold flawless, the kick… about as wide left as you could kick it without hitting the independent party. Amazing. Should they have done it? Yes. Should they have made it look like that? C’mon, kick it low, get it blocked, something. Anything but that joke of an attempt.

Cleveland @ Cincinnati (-12) -Charlie Brown (Frye) has been the greatest thing to happen to Cleveland since the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. The kid is playing great, making many wonder why he didn’t get his shot to run the team earlier. It’s a shame that Braylon Edwards is out for the year, those two would be fun to watch. The Bengals couldn’t put the Brownies away. Cleveland led most of the game until Carson Palmer found TJ H. for his lone touchdown pass of the day. A game winning field goal for Shayne Graham won the game… for the Bengals, not for the Lucky Lester. Carson Palmer looked bad for the first time this year.

NY Giants (-8.5) @ Philadelphia – The Eagles did everything they could to win this game. But, their offense just didn’t have enough fire power to gun their way to victory. Eli Manning played like a pile of horse shite. If it wasn’t for Tiki torching the Eagles, the Giants would have fallen from the playoff picture. I can’t imagine the Giants playing well enough down the stretch to find themselves in the playoffs. They’re just not that good. Now I know.

Miami @ San Diego (-13) – “The Dolphins did two things last week. They showed me how absolutely terrible they can be and they showed their resilience.” (Me) It pains me to give myself advice and fail to listen to it. The Dolphins play tough football day in a day out. That speaks volumes for Nick Saban. In a game that meant the world to the Chargers, I just didn’t see a loss about to happen. Miami didn’t come to San Diego just to let the Chargers walk in to the playoffs. Now the Chargers will have to win out to make the c ut. Don’t look now San Diego but you’re flying to Indianapolis on Sunday. I hear they’re pretty good.

Baltimore @ Denver (-14) – I lost my 5th Jenna Spread-em game (over 6 points) of the week when Denver couldn’t find room to score against the Ravens. They still won, they just didn’t lead me to victory. That’s like getting punched in the face and kicked in the balls. I bet on Denver, they won, I lost. It hurts me more than it hurts you, I’m sure of it.

Detroit @ Green Bay (-6) – Both of these teams suck. They both sucked on Sunday Night football too. So at least they are both honest. Samkon Gado, and two decent defenses were the only bright spots on the field. If you haven’t heard the Samkon Gado story, listen closely. The kid could be a doctor, but he wanted to give the NFL a shot. He started 2 games in college at some little school. He’s started more games in the NFL, as a rookie, than he started in his entire college career. Stud.

WINNERS

New Orleans @ Atlanta (-10) – The Falcons made me a Monday Night winner for the 3rd straight week. It was an easy victory as the Saints rolled over after they pulled to within four on a last second touchdown drive at the end of the half. Usually that gives a team momentum. Not the Saints, they’re out to prove they never have momentum. They’ve convinced me. Note to self: Never Bet On The Saints!!!

New England (-4) @ Buffalo – “If Eric Moulds is indeed suspended, as reports have published, Belichick will find it easy to key in on Lee Evans. Look for the Patriots to blitz Losman early and often on their way to a Sunday victory.” (Me) Eric Moulds was suspended. Belichick locked in on Lee Evans and blitzed the hell out of Losman. Outcome? 35-3. Nice work to all involved.

St. Louis @ Minnesota (-7) – The Vikings defense dominated everything the Rams threw at them, and ran at them for that matter. Steven Jackson was held under 70 yards, and Harvard Boy couldn’t get anything done against Minnesota’s recently tough secondary. Will the Viking defense carry their offense into the playoffs? Talk about a roll reversal.

Washington (-3.5) @ Cardinals – “Kurt Warner will have another week where his picks outnumber his touchdowns, and Clinton Portis will have his second strong week in a row. Chris Cooley and Santana Moss will have big games.” (Me) Kurt only matched his single touchdown with a single interception, but he did lose a fumble, so I’ll give me that prediction. Clinton rushed for over 100 yards and a touchdown, while Santana Moss and Chris Cooley led the Redskins in receiving. You’ve got to love those half point victories.

San Francisco @ Seattle (-16) – “Seattle doesn’t have time to waste too much energy on the 49ers. Instead of allowing the inferior Niners to hang around all game long like they did a few weeks ago, they’ll come out with a mission to have the starters out at half-time. The Seattle Defense will forcefully slam Alex Smith into multiple turnovers like they did to Mike McMahon last week in Philadelphia.” 41-3… Last two games; 83-3. Shaun got his 100 yards and the Seahawks had this one in the bag by half time. This one felt good.

PUSH

Indianapolis (-8) @ Jacksonville – This was a little bit painful. The Jags didn’t really have a chance, but then they got an onside kick and momentum jumped on board. I thought the Jags were going to pull it off when David Garrard converted the two point conversion. Then Peyton Manning came on the field and completed a 3rd and 7 to finish off the game. He’s too damn good! The Jaguars came back just in the nick of time to push me around.

Kansas City (+3) @ Dallas – This game broke my balls. As you all know, (If you are a weekly reader) I hate a couple things in football. Jerry Jones, Drew Bledsoe, and the Cowboys. Watching Dallas win behind a brilliant game by Drew Bledsoe was just like getting kicked in the balls. Kansas City gave their kicker a 40 yard opportunity to send the game into overtime. He failed. The Chiefs might have fallen right out of the playoffs because of it. Tynes pushed it wide right as I got pushed to a tie.
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks