Get ready for another crazy season of NFL football! Week 1 is only days away, and already medical miracles are taking place. For instance, Nic Saban and the Dolphins prayed for Ben Roethlisberger to sit out Thursday’s opener in Pittsburg, and almost immediately Ben was scheduled for his first tummy-tuck. Amazing the way things work out. Read on to see if I stay with Pittsburgh or jump ship and head towards Miami. Thursday’s game along with every other game of opening week analyzed and picked below. Are you ready for a little Sunday Magic?Miami (+4) at Pittsburgh: I like the Dolphins this season, and with Big Ben Roethlisberger out with a tummy tuck, I have to take the Dolphins right now before the lines change drastically… Okay I’m back. Charlie B-i-atch doesn’t have what it takes to outgun Daunte Culpepper and the rest of those rascally sea mammals. Ronnie Brown didn’t look impressive in the preseason, but he is a damn good runner, so I expect him to have a big game against the big bad steel show. Game Date: 09/07/06 20:30 ET
Atlanta at Carolina (-4.5): Though I do think Atlanta has improved on the defensive side of the ball, I just don’t see the improvement against the run. On the other hand I do think the Panthers have improved offensively. DeShaun Foster, when healthy, is an improvement over Steven Davis. Steve Smith can’t be covered. I guess the overriding factor that sends me Carolina’s way, is the match-ups short term history. Last season Atlanta lost 3 games by more than 8 points. Only 3. Two of those games were against the Panthers. The combined score of the two games? 68-17. Yikes. Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
New Orleans at Cleveland (-2.5): This game is only exciting because Reggie Bush makes his opening day debut in Cleveland. Other than that, neither of these teams should do much in the standings. All being accounted for, Cleveland’s rushing attack should find wide open spaces against the Saints’ porous linebacking unit, even with their struggling O-Line. Reggie Bush should make a nice play or two, but with Braylon Edwards back in the swing of things, Charlie “Brown” Frye has 3 nice offensive weapons for his disposal; Edwards, Kellen Winslow, and Reuben Droughns. I have to take the Brownies in a Super Bowl 55 preview.
Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
Seattle (-3.5) at Detroit: I don’t know what the rest of the world thinks Mike Martz can do to influence a game, but there is no way the Lions beat the Hawks. No way. In that case, I have to put my ass on the line and say the Hawks win by 2 touchdowns or more. That’s right, the NFC’s best team should destroy one of the worst squads in a blowout in Motown. Kevin Jones should find it tough to get going against the speedy Hawk D, while Jon Kitna gets hammered early and often by his old-old-old team.
Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
Philadelphia (-3.5) at Houston: Personally I think the Eagles will compete for the NFC crown while the Texans will find themselves in the bottom half of the AFC once again. The Texans will be better, don’t get me wrong, but they won’t be competing with teams like the Eagles. Donovan McNabb looks more accurate than ever before, and the addition of Donte Stallworth could push the Eagles over the edge and into the playoffs. Watch Brian Westbrook shine in this game. Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
Cincinnati (+4.5) at Kansas City: Can Larry Johnson, a beast of a back, take out the Bengals all by himself? I’m putting my money on no. The Bengals have a much stronger passing attack, a better defense, and explosion on special teams. The Chiefs have LJ and Tony Gonzalez, and that’s where I’d draw the line. The Chiefs have playoffs in their near future, but with Cincinnati doing all they can to protect Carson, expect a methodically strong offensive performance out of the Bengals. 4 and ½ is just too much for me to go any other way. Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
Buffalo (+9.5) at New England: Tom Brady and crew should pull this game out, but don’t expect a final spread of more than a touchdown. Seven of the ten Patriot wins came by 10 points or less. With the Patriots unimproved from a year ago, and the Bills headed in the right direction, an upset here wouldn’t surprise me. That being said, I’ll take the 9.5 points and those pesky Bills whose defense should be much improved with the return of Takeo Spikes. Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
Denver (-3) at St. Louis: I really wanted to take the Rams in this one, but the numbers say Denver gets the nod. It’s only 3 points, a situation where I always take the team I expect to win. I think the Rams could be right around .500 this season, but Denver always starts hot. They did lose to the Dolphins in last years’ opener, but they’ve won the opener in 3 of coach Shanahan’s last 4 seasons. In those 4 seasons, Denver has started 5-1 thrice, and 4-2 once. I have to take a team that historically starts hot against a Rams team that hasn’t started better than 2-2 since 2001.
Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
Baltimore (+3.5) at Tampa Bay: The Ravens picked up Steve McNair in place of Kyle Boller (now their #2 QB) so I have to throw out last year’s offensive stats. Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are back on a scary defense, so last year’s defensive numbers won’t do justice to this game either. The bottom line is I’d take the 3.5 point underdog every time these two teams played. McNair can really manage a low scoring game, and Tampa struggles to put up points against tough run defenses. This game should be very even, with a field goal separating the winner from the loser. Look for the upset in Tampa. Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
N.Y. Jets (+3) at Tennessee: Ugh. This game has the makings of an early season #1 pick bowl. Sure, its nearly impossible to tell which team will get the chance to pick the best college player in the land, but I’ll be stunned if one or both of these classy organizations doesn’t find themselves with a top 3 pick in next year’s draft. Vince Young will look a lot better throwing pig rockets to Calvin Johnson anyway. In this game I have to take the Jets. They have the best chance to win now. Chad Pennington is a good signal caller when healthy, and if he is indeed healthy, his passer/receiver relationship with Coles should push his Jets to 1-0 on the season. After that I’ve got no guarantees NY. Game Date: 09/10/06 13:00 ET
San Francisco at Arizona (-7): While San Francisco’s lack of off-season movage all but promises their return to the bottom of the league, the Cardinals spent big and expect a winning record as well as grand returns in week 1. I’m with them on one expectation. Week 1 should be a breeze. Frank Gore will try to keep his Niners close, but his running ability alone won’t do the trick as Edge, Kurt, Larry, and Anquan will prove too explosive for the young 49ers defense. Arizona won each of it’s two games against the Niners last season, both times by 7 points or more.
Game Date: 09/10/06 16:15 ET
Chicago (-3) at Green Bay: It’s insane to think the Packers even stand a chance in this game. Rexxy Grosman started to put it together by the end of the preseason, and Lovie Smith did the smart thing by naming Thomas Jones the starter in Chicago’s backfield. Brett Favre doesn’t have it like he used to, and even if he did, his offensive line isn’t sturdy enough to keep him alive. The last thing the Packers need is to play one of the NFL’s strongest defenses in Week 1. I’ll be stunned if the Pack remains in the game by half time. Game Date: 09/10/06 16:15 ET
Dallas at Jacksonville (-2): If it were up to me I would stay away from this game. But, since I leave no game unplucked, I’ll roll with the Jaguars in this one, if only to be different. The Boys are a hot pick for week 1, but don’t count out the Jags. Dallas is 1-3 in opening games since 2002, while the Jags always play well on Day 1. Byron Leftwich hasn’t looked like a stud this preseason, but he’s got all the tools. Jimmy Smith’s absence will hurt, but the young trio in Jax will be fine as all three have youth and explosiveness. With Fred Taylor back and healthy, I’ll pick TO to lose his first game as a Cowboy. Fat Slow Drew will almost assuredly get concussed by Marcus Stroud or John Henderson, so we’ll see what Tony Romo can do early. Dallas’s D isn’t as good as everyone thinks, just wait and see. Game Date: 09/10/06 16:15 ET
Indianapolis (-3) at N.Y. Giants: In the battle of the evil NFL spokesmen brothers, I’ll go with older and better, Peyton. Think about it. Peyton’s team is better, his receivers are better, and he’s just flat out better than Eli. Plus, is there one big brother out there who could see themselves losing to their younger brother on the gridiron? Precisely. This one goes to the Colts, even on the road in New York. Peyton doesn’t seem to mind playing there. This is the regular season here, not the playoffs, Peyton is good to go. Game Date: 09/10/06 20:15 ET
Minnesota at Washington (-4): I hate this game. With Clinton Portis out and T.J. Duckett in, who knows what will happen. Mark Brunell has looked, well, 40 years old throughout the preseason, but those old guys never seem to light it up in meaningless games, so I’ll overlook his poor outings for this one. The Redskins spent big this off season, which should allow them to sneak one out at home against the Vikings. It’ll be the first time in the history of the NFL where the combined age of both QB’s (Brad Johnson and Mark) will exceed 100 years… (White lie) Game Date: 09/11/06 19:00 ET
San Diego (-2.5) at Oakland: San Diego isn’t known for fast starts, and with a first year QB, its hard to claim things will be different for the Bolts. But they are playing Oakland. We’re talking about a team that traded their #2 receiver for a draft pick, picked up Jeff George, cut Jeff George, and sang a handful of Disney tunes on the plane ride home from Seattle all in the same week. Gong show. Aaron Brooks should find some passing yards and some touchdowns, but don’t expect the Raiders’ sorry ass defense to hold LaDainian Tomlinson for one freaking series. That would be too much to ask. Closing week 1 with a burst, SD should roll the Raiders.
Game Date: 09/11/06 22:15 ET
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