My Nephew has me back giving some fantasy advice, he was nice enough to pay me nothing to work for another year, what a guy. But hey, I have fun doing it right? Shit, I only have to wear two pairs of glasses to see the damn screen, make 100 errors while hunting and pecking my way into oblivion, all the while trying not to listen to this voice in my head that keeps telling me to pick Barry Sanders in my upcoming draft – (I still do that with my last pick, what can I say, I’m hopeful for a comeback). So these are my predictions, I hope that’s not too quick of a transition for you, if it is just deal with it I guess. I’m old, but I’ve probably been playing fantasy football since you were an idea that your parents couldn’t even fathom – you know, when they still wore condoms and took birth control. So, I’ve been around for a while, won lots of fantasy championships, and learned from my mistakes as well. What has that taught me? That these predictions are more likely to be true than my nephews. That’s what. Why? Because I’ve only been wrong once, and that was when I thought I was wrong and was actually right. Here goes…
1. Matt Hasselbeck will be a Top 7 quarterback in 2009.
2. Either Chester Taylor or Jerious Norwood will be a Top 20 fantasy back this season. Choose wisely.
3. Matt Schaub will not play more than 12 games, but that’s okay, he’ll still throw 20 touchdowns.
4. The J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets will be a Top 5 fantasy defense.
5. Tom Brady will be the #1 fantasy quarterback.
6. Donovan McNabb will be Top 5.
7. Who will round out my QB top 7? Drew Brees and Philip Rivers and Tony Romo will be in there too. That leaves one spot left over, gotta have a flier in there somewhere – but I’m not going to predict that, 6 out of 7 ain’t bad.
8. The highest paid QB in the NFL finishes out of the Top 20 in fantasy QB rankings.
9. Even though I’ve had poops bigger than Darren Sproles and Leon Washington, both will finish amongst the Top 30 running backs in PPR leagues.
10. Thomas Jones won’t, Jamal Lewis won’t, Jonathan Stewart won’t either.
11. Knowshon Moreno will have at least five 100-yard games this season.
12. That will be more than Marion Barber.
13. This year’s DeAngelo Williams (surprise, out of nowhere back that is seemingly left for dead because of a high draft pick or “new” back taking his place? That would be Joseph Addai. He won’t be the #1 fantasy back like Williams was last year, but he’s getting drafted around 20 in most of my leagues, he’ll be a Top 10 guy.
14. Marshawn Lynch will be a Top 10 guy from Week 4 until Week 16 – do those week’s matter to anybody?
15. Not much of a stunner, but Adrian Peterson will lead the league in rushing yards, by a lot.
16. I’d rather have Ronnie Brown than Chris Johnson. Why? Ready… He’s going to have more fantasy points. But I like both guys.
17. Kevin Smith will be a top 10 fantasy running back.
18. Randy Moss will score more fantasy points that Larry Fitzgerald and Calvin Johnson.
19. T.J. Houshmandzadeh will catch more passes than anybody in the NFL.
20. Chad Johnson will show everybody that last year was a fluke, and that he’s still very inconsistent, but will be a Top 10 WR in the fantasy world.
21. If Terrell Owens is healthy for all 16 games, he will be a Top 5 fantasy receiver. I will guarantee he’s a top 10 guy regardless.
22. Anthony Gonzalez will have more fantasy points than Roy Williams.
23. Lance Moore will have at least 70 catches for 900 yards and 8 touchdowns. That might not be last years’ totals, but that’s still pretty damn good considering where you draft the guy.
24. John Carlson will be a Top 6 Tight End.
25. Joseph Addai > Darren McFadden > Pierre Thomas… That would be opposite of their draft rankings.
26. Felix Jones scores more fantasy points than Ray Rice.
27. Donnie Avery scores more fantasy points than Donald Driver.
28. The highest scoring rookie receiver this season? Hakeem Nicks.
29. Brandon Jacobs will score more fantasy points, in non PPR leagues, than any other RB in the NFL not named Adrian Peterson. He’s number one, or maybe number two….
30. In the games that Reggie Bush plays in (I’m guessing 12-14) he’ll be a Top 10 PPR RB. So he has GREAT draft value right now. *Currently ranked 31 by Espin the Magazine.
Done and Done. It only took my a million hunts and pecks to find the right keys to right this damn thing, and if you count my hourly wage, I’m going to have to win the lottery to get out of the red… blast. But at least I’ll get to rub it in when these are all right.