Fantasy Football Tear Jerkers – Week 1

Fantasy Football Know-It-All
This is Papa Weimer here, and I’ve got to be honest. I’m at my best criticizing a pissy job on Sundays. Yeah, these guys were highly touted by fantasy sports writers everywhere. From ESPN to your buddy who likes to claim fantasy royalty, this list of disappointments hit the road stumbling in Week 1, and as if the stumble itself wasn’t bad enough, an impenetrable brick wall was smack dab in their way. It started early, as last year’s fantasy happy thought was down in the dumps in Indy… You want the All Bad team? Read on, good sir! 9 elite guys: 14 points. If you drafted these guys in your league, you had one hell of a good draft. But, on the flip side, you had one crappy week 1.

Drew Brees: 1 fantasy point, 2 fantasy points, whatever your league gives this guy, he didn’t meet expectations. 28-41 for 191 yards? What the hell was he doing? Completing passes to stationary dummies 5 yards downfield? The All-World Saints’ offense didn’t score a single touchdown in Indy on Thursday. The same Colt team that lost 5 starters from a defense that wasn’t very good last season. Brees’ 2 interceptions and 1 fumble didn’t help the cause either. This guy has been picked 2nd in more than half the leagues I’ve drafted. I have him in 1 league, and I’m not real happy about his output in Week 1. No TDs, under 200 yards, and 3 turnovers. Drew Brees looked like Ryan Leaf in Week 1.

Deuce McAllister: The Deuce was not loose on Thursday Night. All in all, the Saints offense that was supposed to produce like the Colts Big 4 produced more like the Temple Owls Big 4, and thus disappointed fantasy owners all over the US, and in Canada too (I know a couple, believe me). McAllister was supposed to run all over the Colts poor rush defense, but that just wasn’t the case. He had 3.8 yards per carry, which was better than his more publicized backfield mate, but 3 fantasy points isn’t something to get excited about from your starting running back. He did have 2 grabs, but like Reggie, he totaled only 7 receiving yards. Needless to say, the Saints lost to the Colts on Thursday Night.

Reggie Bush: I must admit, I don’t have Reggie Bush in one single league. I have a lot of teams in a lot of different formats, and I’m sure not having Reggie Bush will make me angry as soon as Week 2, but right now, I feel like a genius. I stayed away from the USC godsend, and I was rewarded in Week 1. His 12 carries for 38 yards started him off with an unprofitable 3.1 yards per carry. But what about his receiving? Sure, in a PPR league, Bush’s hands got owners another 4 points, but his 7 total receiving yards got you jack in normal leagues. Reggie’s 3 fantasy points were hardly worth the 1st Round pick most owners spent on him. Reggie, like some of your Saint teammates, you fit the Tear Jerking bill in Week 1.

Marques Colston: I’ve heard more than a couple owners tell me that Marques Colston was the 2nd best receiver in Fantasy Football. Now, these owners selected Colston as their 2nd receiver, and of course, the best receiver in the league is the 1st guy they picked. So, in their minds, they have the Top 2 receivers in the league. Not so quick buddy. Colston didn’t do much with his 6 catches against the Colts. 47 yards on 6 grabs gave Marques a whopping 7.8 yards per catch. He didn’t score, either. All in all, I can’t say Colston had a terrible day. 10 points in a PPR and 4 points in a regular format, sometimes even the best receivers have down days. But can these same owners continue to throw Colston 2nd best receiver Cool-Aid at me? I hope not, because it tastes like horse poop, I could even say Colt poop.

Steven Jackson: Everyone’s #2 pick in fantasy drafts everywhere slammed into the Carolina wall on Sunday. Not only did he go next to nowhere with his 18 rushes (58 yards) but Sir Steven fumbled twice, causing major damage to his fantasy owners chances in Week 1. He did have 1 catch for 3 yards… If that rubs any burning acid in your already deep wound. Chalk another player up for the 1 point category. I bet that made owners happy in league’s everywhere.

Lee Evans: It really stuns me that Evans had 2 catches for 5 yards and the Bills still had a chance, (were winning until last 2 seconds) to win this football game. Lee has to do more for his Bills to win. He’s one of the elite players in this league. He did have to go heads up against Champ Bailey and Dre Bly, two guys who will shut down lots of receivers this year, but to be as talented as Lee is and get shut out. I’m not liking it. Bills, take note, give this guy a couple shots.

Deion Branch: 0 catches, 0 yards, 0 points – Sounds like a good reason to trade Darrell Jackson away. Sure, D-Jack may have dropped a TD pass against Arizona, but he also made one hell of a catch to keep the game going for his Niners. What did Branch do? He had a few nice blocks. How many points did you get for those in your fantasy league?

Larry Fitzgerald: Larry Fitz went up against the defensive juggernaut that is San Francisco and took home 2 fantasy points. Matt Leinart didn’t look to his Super Star receiver all that often, ignoring the fact that he got by defensive backs on at least two pass plays. 3 catches for 20 yards isn’t what most expected from this 2nd or 3rd round pick. But sometimes you get tricked. This was one of those times.

Steve McNair: Steve was bad. Not only did McNair get hurt, but he was just brutal prior to his injury. 203 yards passing, 3 fumbles and 1 interception. Lets do that math for those who can’t figure out how McNair finished with a fat 0. 200 yards (8pts) 3 fumbles (-6pts) and one interception (-2pts). Yes, 8-8, in any equation, is 0. This guy has something close to 733 turnovers in his last 2 games. And I thought he could have a decent day in Cincinnati.

Also considered: Cedric Benson (3pts), Mark Clayton (0pts), Braylon Edwards (2pts), Vincent Jackson (2pts), Reggie Brown (1pt), Fred Taylor (1pt), Jamal Lewis (2pts), Maurice Jones Drew (3pts), Vernon Davis (0pts), Daunte Stallworth (1pt) – Nice work guys, two claps for you, too. VD- you get a click-clack.

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