I’d Like to thank Winnie Cooper
A PERFECT SEASON?
Or just a perfect week? The Colts might go 16-0, but the real story is, I already did. I must say, when you go 16-0, looking back on your own article feels like one hell of a pat yourself on the back fest. I give all my credit to Winnie, who just happened to be that little extra stroke of luck I needed to break out with the best single week record of all time. Yes, I went undefeated with a perfect 16-0 record in Week 13. Some would say “genius,” some would say “Lucky,” hell you can say whatever you want, the bottom line is Lucky Lester was the god of Week 13.
Atlanta at Carolina (-3) – “If Stephen Davis was still starting, I would take the Falcons, because there is no way he can pound the Falcons outside the tackles. In an intelligent move, the Panther brass has decided to start Deshaun Foster for the second straight week. Atlanta loses when teams can run the ball against them. This game will be no different.” (Me) Deshaun Foster started and didn’t disappoint. He ran for 131 yards and caught 3 passes for 50 yards. He scored two touchdowns leading the Panthers to my first of many. 1-0.
Buffalo (+4) at Miami – I knew I had the game in hand, and I was pretty sure the Buff were going to pull out a much needed victory in Miami. One of two ain’t bad. The Bills gave up easy completions by Sage Rosenfels, and Chris Chambers jumped up in the end zone, grabbed a touchdown pass from Sage, and fell down with the victory. One for me, one for the Dolphins. 2-0.
Cincinnati (+3) at Pittsburgh – “This showdown in Pittsburgh will be the weeks best game, but don’t expect the home team to come out on top. One more week for Ben Roethlisberger to find his touch, then the Steelers will start winning again.” (Me) The Bengals came through in fine fashion, taking down the Steelers in Pittsburgh 38-31 in one of the weeks best games. Carson Palmer was stellar, and the Bengal defense continued to find ways to get takeaways, causing Big Ben to throw 3 interceptions. 3-0.
Dallas at N.Y. Giants (-3) – “Drew Bledsoe is too slow to get away from the Giant pass rush that stymied one of the best offensive lines in football last week in Seattle. I never thought I’d say this, but the Giants defense will be too tough for the Cowboys to pull off the upset.” (Me) It hurts, oh it hurts, it hurst so bad to be this good. Drew Bledsoe looked like a VW Bug idling away from a Ferrari as the Giant defense ran a clinic on Bill Parcells Cowgirls. 4-0.
Green Bay at Chicago (-7) – “For the billionth time this year, Brett Favre’s interceptions will outnumber his touchdown tosses. Thomas Jones will pound the Packers defensive front into submission early.” (Me) Thomas Jones had 93 yards on the ground, and Brett Favre threw 2 interceptions an 0 touchdowns. My Uncle John chastised me for telling the world Brett would double up his TD’s with picks. He’s old, bitter, and old. Thanks for proving my genius Brett. 5-0.
Houston (+8) at Baltimore – The Texans lost, but really won. Yes, it is possible to do, especially when you have the worst record in football and Reggie Bush will be showing up at the ’06 draft. Houston has proven that they can play good football, they just haven’t come out on the lucky end of Sunday. The Texans played well within the 8 points they were getting, and managed to lose again. A win win. One win for me, one win for their draft. 6-0.
Jacksonville (-3) at Cleveland – The Jaguars started off slow, giving up two touchdown passes by Charlie Frye to Braylon Edwards. Then, they tightened the clamps. After the first two scores, the Jaguars never allowed the Browns to get close to the end zone again. The Jag D held Droughns to less than 3 yards a carry, and didn’t allow a single point in the second half. Garrard threw 2 TD’s, and the Jags ran the ball 36 times. Ah, it feels good. 7-0.
Minnesota (-3) at Detroit – The Vikings dominated the hapless Lions, even with Detroit’s savior, Jeff Garcia, back at the helm. Garcia completed less than half his passes, throwing for 0 touchdowns and 1 interceptions. Nice. The Lions went another week without a 100 yard rusher. Nice. Minnesota discovered Koren Robinson to the drum of 148 yards receiving. Pep liked the look of that from the owner’s box. The score was much closer than the game, but this was as close as I got to defeat. Whew. 8-0.
Tampa Bay (-4) at New Orleans – Okay, I admit, the Saints played closer to the Bucs than I imagined. Cadillac almost hit 100, but it was Chris Simms and Joey Galloway hooking up for the games only touchdown. Aaron Brooks sealed my 9th win with his 4th interception on the day, this one going to Rhonde Barber who pulled down 3 on Sunday. New Orleans is a bad football team. Never doubt that.
9-0.
Tennessee at Indianapolis (-16) – “The Colts won’t slip up against the Titans. There is no way Peyton, Coach Dungy, and the Defense will overlook this match-up. The Titans don’t have a powerful offensive line. That will be exploited on Sunday in Indianapolis.” (Me) The Colts sacked Steve McNair thrice (forcing a fumble), and dropped Billy Volek once after they knocked McNair out of the game. Exploited? Yes the Titan’s offensive line way. The Colts didn’t overlook Tennessee as they skipped to 12-0, still on pace to go undefeated. Speaking of undefeated, this game took me to 10-0.
Arizona (-3) at San Francisco – “The Cardinals have really struggled, but they’ve found offensive fire power with Kurt Warner throwing powder-puff balls to Larry Fitz and Anquan Boldin.” (Me) Warner had 354 yards through the air as Larry Fitz and Anquan Boldin combined for 19 catches, 285 yards, and a score. Can I call it or can I call it? Alex Smith made the Cardinals defense look decent, as he was picked 3 times, and sacked thrice on the day. I stared off the afternoon with another W. 11-0.
Washington (-3) at St. Louis – “The Rams won’t get lucky for the second straight week… Not with LaVar Arrington making sure luck gets it’s ass pounded into the ground. There is no way the Redskins give up all those rushing yards two weeks in a row, is there? My bet is staying away from the Rams. Clinton Portis will have his best game of the year yardage-wise and Mark Brunell will find Santana Moss for old-times sake.” I’m telling you it hurst, oh, it hurts to be this good. I don’t have a glass ball or anything, I’m just pure genius. No gimmicks. Just genius. Got it? Clinton Portis missed his best day of the year by 6 yards. Brunell found Moss three times, while Chris Cooley got the touchdown. Oh, and the Redskins defense gave up less than 50 yards on the ground. I matched the Colts at 12-0.
Denver at Kansas City (+1.5) – “The Chiefs have more on the line at home against Denver, so they’ll play to win. Larry Johnson will rush for more yards than Denver has given up to any other back all year. And Mike Anderson and Tatum Bell will both fail to reach the 100 yard plateau. Just trust me on this one, the Chiefs need this game and Angry Larry will pull them past the Broncos.” First and foremost, the Chiefs won, taking me to 13-0. Second, Larry Johnson rushed for more yards against the Denver D, than any other player this year. And last and possibly least, Tatum Bell and Mike Anderson didn’t even combine for 100 total rushing yards. Genius. 13-0.
N.Y. Jets at New England (-10) -This game sucked. The Patriots won 16-3. It was 6-3 at the half. Nothing happened in this game, so there’s nothing to report. I won again, that’s always nice. 14-0.
Oakland at San Diego (-11) – The Raiders couldn’t hang with the Chargers. Shit, they couldn’t even compete for longer than a half. Down ten going into the 3rd quarter, the Raiders looked like they had already given up. And they have. Just as I predicted, the Raiders were one of the more pathetic teams on Sunday. LT had a decent but not spectacular game, as the Chargers weren’t forced to exhert any effort after the first quarter or two. It’s good to get a good rest in from time to time. 15-0.
Seattle (-4) at Philadelphia – “The Hawks will win easily.” (Me) Going into Monday Night I was sure I had my perfect week locked up. This was my easiest pick of the week. Usually Mondays are tough for me, but not this Monday. Shaun Alexander was shut down pretty well, he only had two touchdowns, but the Seattle Defense had 3 on way to shutting out the flightless Eagles. Perfection is sweet, enjoy it if you can, it’s always nice when your 13 game parlay pays out 100,000$, isn’t it? For 10 bucks a week it seems worth it, eh?
AT LAST! PERFECTION!
Good Luck with your NFL Football Betting!
Lucky Lester – Free Football Picks